The Top 10 Signs You’re Living in
the Corona Era
10) You notice
that the Ministry of Unwritten Regulations has apparently decreed that every
ad – whether in print (in one of the very few publications that are still being distributed) or online - must
contain either a picture of a mask or an illustration of a coronavirus. Bonus
points if the virus resembles a cuddly cartoon character.
9) Another day,
another 17 “davening at home” jokes.
8) Shabbat feels like you’re in a Jane Austen novel. Everyone is dressed up in elegant clothes;
there is nowhere to go; you meet the exact same people at every meal; and after
dinner, you retire to the modern day equivalent of the drawing room, where you
all sit around and talk and read. And if you get really bored, you can always
take a turn about the room…
7) “Where/how
are you doing your Pesach grocery shopping?” is the new “where will you
be/who is coming to you for the Seder this year?”
6) Even your
two-year-old grandchildren have been using Zoom to get together with the other
kids from their ma'on (daycare center).
5) You’ve lost
track of how many times someone has quoted all or at least part of the
pasuk:
לֵךְ עַמִּי בֹּא בַחֲדָרֶיךָ וּסְגֹר דלתיך בַּעֲדֶךָ חֲבִי כִמְעַט רֶגַע עַד
יעבור זָעַם
(“Go, My nation, come into your chambers and close your door behind you; hide for a brief moment, until the wrath shall pass.” --Yishaya 26:20)
(“Go, My nation, come into your chambers and close your door behind you; hide for a brief moment, until the wrath shall pass.” --Yishaya 26:20)
4) Over the past
week alone, you’ve attended a bat mitzvah, a hanachat tefilin, a baby naming,
and several weddings, and not one of the other guests noticed or cared that you
were wearing pajamas and slippers the entire time.
3) You have trouble
remembering that only 3-4 weeks ago(!!), you had never even heard of terms like
social distancing and flattening the curve.
2) You go outside
to your backyard for a breath of fresh air, and your next door neighbor greets
you from HER yard. As the two of you stand there catching up, separated by
a wall and significantly more than two meters of space, you get to pretend that
you’re Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor from “Home Improvement” chatting with
Wilson over the fence.
1) After
shamelessly neglecting your blog for years and years, you’re suddenly inspired
to sit down and write a post.
😊
Wishing you and your families only
good health, and may we all soon be privileged to share
besurot tovot, yeshu’ot v’nechamot (good
tidings, salvation, and consolation).