Reasons #3721 and #3722 for making aliyah

Warning: The following post may exceed the recommended daily allowance for overt “I-made-aliyah-and-therefore-I’m-so-great” smugness. Proceed at your own risk.

In a hopeless attempt at making it up to you for the long weeks months years that I’ve been shamelessly neglecting this blog, I present not one but TWO (count ‘em! two!) reasons for making aliyah.

The first is fairly prosaic; the second approaches the sublime.

1) Reason #3721 for making aliyah

9:26 PM – Israel time – Motzai Yom Kippur 5775.

At that exact moment, our dear friends and family back in the States were nearing the end of the Yom Kippur Musaf service with visions of, well, just about anything edible, really, dancing in their heads, as Hamlet-like, they were mentally running through their options. (“To go home or NOT to go home during the break – THAT is the question…”)

Meanwhile, half a world away, here in TRLEOOB (=the real life equivalent of our blog), we had not only returned from shul after Maariv, made havdalah, enjoyed a delicious break-fast meal (potato soup and lasagna, thank you for asking), and put up our beautiful succah by that time, but we had even managed to post photographic evidence of said completed succah on the extended Shiputzim family’s WhatsApp group – thereby confirming our victory in the highly-competitive “Who Can Get Their Succah Up First” competition.

2) Reason #3722 for making aliyah

One word: Shmitah.

B”H, this is the third shmitah year since we made aliyah, which means that once again, we have the truly incredible privilege of partaking of peyrot shviit (shmitah produce).

For example, last night’s supper included this:

A package of otzar beit din lettuce from Otzar HaAretz

A close-up of the Otzar HaAretz label

Our custom-decorated shmitah receptacle

“וְהָיְתָה שַׁבַּת הָאָרֶץ לָכֶם לְאָכְלָה לְךָ וּלְעַבְדְּךָ וְלַאֲמָתֶךָ וְלִשְׂכִירְךָ וּלְתוֹשָׁבְךָ הַגָּרִים עִמָּךְ. וְלִבְהֶמְתְּךָ וְלַחַיָּה אֲשֶׁר בְּאַרְצֶךָ תִּהְיֶה כָל תְּבוּאָתָהּ לֶאֱכֹל.”

“And the Shabbat of the land shall be yours to eat, for you and for your servant and for your maidservant, and for your hired worker and for your resident who live with you. And for your animal and for the beast that is in your land: all its produce shall be to eat.”
(Vayikra 25:6-7)

Rosh Hashanah 5775

I realize that posting has been fairly sparse in recent weeks.

But I’m sure you’ll forgive me when you consider all the, ahem, important and meaningful things we’ve been doing here in TRLEOOB (=the real life equivalent of our blog).

For instance, this past Shabbat, we were extremely busy coming up with a list of acronyms for תשע”ה – 5775 – the upcoming new year:

.תהא שנת עליה הביתה
May this be a year of aliyah to our homeland.

.תחל שמיטה על הארץ
Let shmitah begin in the Land of Israel.

.תהא שנת ערבות הדדית
May this be a year of mutual responsibility.

.תשכון שכינתך על המקדש
May Your Divine Presence dwell in the Mikdash.

.תהא שנת עידן המשיח
May this year mark the onset of the Messianic Era.

.תשים שלום על הבריות
Bestow peace upon mankind.

.תביא ששון על הארץ
Bring joy to the land.

.‘תהא שנת עבודת ה
May this be a year of serving Hashem.

.תבוא שלום עוד השנה
May peace arrive this very year.

.תהא שנת עליית הרגל
May this be a year of going up to Yerushalayim on the festivals.

.תהא שנת עירך הבנויה
May this be the year of Your rebuilt city.

Please feel free to add your own suggestions in the comment section.

Yitzchak Meir and Udi Davidi sing “Ochila LaKel.” (Full disclosure: Last year, on Rosh Hashanah 5774, we had the privilege of davening in the shul where Yitzchak Meir was the ba’al tefilah.)

לשנה טובה תכתבו ותחתמו לאלתר לחיים טובים ולשלום!

May you and your families have a wonderful, happy, healthy, prosperous, and sweet new year!

Euphonic Friday: Coming Home Edition

Rather than commenting on the current ceasefire and its political, military, social, historical, or other ramifications, I instead refer you to my Ceasefire Pie post (which referred to the ceasefire at the end of Amud Anan).

Meanwhile, as I wrote in my most recent counteracting the meraglim post, now is the time for all of our dear brothers and sisters in the Diaspora to join us here in Israel and thus help us hasten the Geulah (the Redemption).

And on a related note, the Maccabeats released a new song this week:

!שבת שלום ומבורך

Counteracting the Meraglim VI

Over the years, in the days leading up to Tisha B’Av, it’s become somewhat of an Our Shiputzim tradition* to discuss a different “antidote to the meraglim (the Spies)” – i.e. yet another wonderful aspect of life in our beautiful Land.

This year, this post practically wrote itself.

Because as our Sages famously taught, the Second Beit HaMikdash was destroyed due to sinat chinam (generally translated as “gratuitous hatred”), and thus, the ultimate antidote to the meraglim is the unprecedented sense of unity that has gripped every sector of Israeli society over the past 7.5 weeks.

We are united in our belief that Tzuk Eitan is a just, necessary, and unavoidable war, and in our knowledge that the IDF is the most moral, ethical, and humane army in the entire world.

We are united in our prayers and support for the brave soldiers and officers of the IDF, who not only risk and sacrifice their own lives to save ours, but who are also – both literally and figuratively - our sons, our daughters, our husbands, our brothers, our sisters, our neighbors, and our dear friends.

We are united in our concern for our beleaguered brothers and sisters in the South, who have spent the last 14 years (!!) living under enemy fire.

We are united in our bewilderment and anger toward those – including many of our self-professed "best friends EVER” – who consistently condemn us for imaginary atrocities while turning a blind eye toward our savage enemies, who cruelly target our civilians while deliberately endangering their own (i.e. a double war crime).

We are united in our outpouring of love for our wounded; in our grief and sorrow over the loss of so many of our best and brightest; and in our condolences to the bereaved families.

And most of all - as I wrote in my previous post - we are united in our awe and gratitude to HaKadosh Baruch Hu and His countless dedicated emissaries for all the goodness that He has bestowed and continues to bestow upon us.

That long list of emissaries includes the three special families: the Yifrachs, the Sha’ars, and the Fraenkels. Their nobility and strength inspired us, and their holy sons HY”D saved us – both physically and spiritually.

In fact, they can be compared to modern-day Esthers and Mordechais. They took a nation that was “מפוזר ומפורד” (“scattered and dispersed” - Esther 3:8) and brought everyone together on the path to salvation. (Esther commands Mordechai, “לך כנוס את כל היהודים” – “Go, assemble all the Jews.” - Esther 4:16)

For instance, a chareidi acquaintance told us that in his [exclusively chareidi] community, people couldn’t stop talking about the three families and their extraordinary emunah (faith). “My neighbors used to think that they had a lock on emunah,” he observed. “But now they all say that they’ve never seen anything even approaching emunah like this!”

Interestingly, the prime minister’s wife used the same word in reference to the wounded IDF soldiers and their families. The TV cameras caught Mrs. Netanyahu in the middle of a long day of visiting different hospitals, and she said that she was amazed at the soldiers’ emunah and their desire to return to their units to finish their missions.

Consider also the following:

• MK and Minister Silvan Shalom reported that when a siren interrupted a trade fair held at Tel Aviv’s port to boost southern Israel’s small businesses, thousands of Israelis spontaneously began singing, “Am Yisrael Chai!” (“The nation of Israel lives!”)
• On one of the first few days of the ground incursion, a reporter interviewed a mother visiting her wounded son. “I am not religious at all,” she insisted. “But now it’s the period of Bein HaMetzarim [i.e. the Three Weeks], and that means that it’s time for Am Yisrael to come together and to focus on that which unites us.”
• Channel 2 recently ran a segment on women whose husbands are serving in the reserves. When asked how she copes (she hasn’t seen her husband in weeks), a very secular-looking mother of several young children replied that her belief in God gets her through the day. “I speak to Him all the time,” she explained. “I speak to Him like a daughter speaks to her Father.”

An Israeli neighbor stopped by the other day. After comparing notes about our respective soldier sons, we started talking about the incredible achdut (unity) that we have been experiencing.

“It means that the Geulah (the Redemption) is finally on the way,” she declared. “It’s so close we can almost taste it!”

And so, I turn to you, our beloved family and friends in the Diaspora.

Please join us here in Israel, and come experience this achdut for yourself. Am Yisrael needs you here in Eretz Yisrael, and you need to become part of העם היושב בציון (the Nation that dwells in Tzion).

May we indeed be soon privileged to experience the Geulah, and may our eyes behold Hashem’s return to Tzion with mercy, speedily and in our days. Amen.

יה”ר שיבנה בית המקדש במהרה בימינו, אמן.

Have an easy and meaningful fast.

_________________

* Previous “antidote to the meraglim” posts include:

1. The annual Yemei Iyun B’Tanach in Gush Etzion

2. Shabbat in an Israeli maternity ward

3. A front row seat on our nation’s history

4. A country that revolves around the Jewish calendar

5. Rubbing shoulders with the country's movers and shakers

Tzuk Eitan

Shavua tov v’shaket.

As Day 12 of Mivtza Tzuk Eitan (literally, “Operation Stalwart Cliff” – i.e. “Operation Protective Edge,” which is, in essence, an extension of Mivtza Shuvu Achim – Operation Brother’s Keeper – and also a desperately-needed response to the staggering 14 years (!!) that our dear brothers and sisters in the South have been under incessant attack) draws to a close, Israel mourns the loss of Dror Chanin HY”D, a civilian volunteer who was delivering food and care packages to IDF soldiers when he was killed in a Palestinian mortar attack along the Gaza border; Sergeant Eitan Barak Z”L, who was killed in combat during the first night of the ground invasion; and Sergeant Adar Barsano HY”D and Major Amotz Greenberg HY”D, who were killed by Hamas terrorists who had infiltrated Israel on Shabbat morning.

UPDATE (Sunday, July 20) – We also mourn the loss of Staff Sergeant Benaya Ruval HY”D, who was killed by a terrorist emerging from a tunnel in Gaza; and Second Lieutenant Bar Rahav HY”D, who was killed by an anti-tank missile in Gaza.

May all their memories be blessed, and may their families be comforted among the other mourners of Tzion and Yerushalayim.

Meanwhile, thank you to the wonderful Our Shiputzim readers from around the world who’ve been asking how we’re doing here in TRLEOOB (=the real life equivalent of our blog).

Mostly, like the rest of the country, our thoughts and prayers are with the IDF – the brave fathers, husbands, brothers, sisters, daughters, and sons (including, of course, OS - a veteran of last year’s Amud Anan), who are working around the clock to protect Am Yisrael and Eretz Yisrael. May Hashem watch over and protect them, and may they all return home safe and sound.

The thing is that since that terrible day when Eyal Yifrach HY”D, Gil-Ad Sha’ar HY”D, and Naftali Fraenkel HY”D were brutally abducted and murdered in cold blood by our enemies, events have been moving at a dizzying speed.

Indeed, it seems as if every hour brings new developments, and there’s been no time to digest or understand any of them - let alone to write a coherent blog post about them.

With your permission, however, I would like to focus on two things:

1) First, the incredible revealed miracles and wonders that Am Yisrael has been privileged to witness.

For in spite of the devastating tragedy and trauma of recent weeks, words cannot begin to express our awe, amazement, and gratitude to HaKadosh Baruch Hu and His countless dedicated emissaries – including the IDF, the brilliant engineers who conceived and developed the Iron Dome, and many others – for all the goodness that He has bestowed and continues to bestow upon us.

2) Second, I don’t know if anyone has been listening, but many rabbis and community leaders have been [correctly, IMHO] exhorting Diaspora Jewry that NOW is actually the best time to make aliyah. As they explain, at this critical juncture, there is no better way to support Am Yisrael in Eretz Yisrael according to Torat Yisrael.

To the rabbis’ wise words, I would add that making aliyah TODAY also serves another important purpose.

Moving to our beautiful Land gives one a front row seat on Jewish history and allows one to play a major role in shaping Am Yisrael’s future.

***

May the coming week be filled with besurot tovot, yeshu’ot v’nechamot (good tidings, salvation, and consolation) for Am Yisrael.

What we’ve been up to

Seeing as how I’ve been shamelessly neglecting this poor blog (for a change…) in recent weeks, you’ve probably been wondering what the Shiputzim family has been up to.

Here, then, are a number of vignettes, which should give you some idea of what’s been going on here in TRLEOOB*:

Scene #1

The Ulpanistit: [walks in the door at about noon]

Me: “Why are you home so early?”

The Ulpanistit: [surprised at the silly question] “Because we got our report cards today!”

Me: [shows my oleh roots again] “So?”

The Ulpanistit: [can’t believe that her mother is this ignorant] “So we NEVER finish after twelve on the day we get teudot…”

Me: [reluctantly concedes defeat and chalks this up to #yetAnotherThingI’llNeverUnderstand]

Scene #2

Me: [makes a sarcastic comment about the Shminist’s countless free periods]

The Shminist: “It’s your own fault, you know. Don’t forget that you’re the one who paid extra for me to take dovrei Anglit classes and do the 5-point English bagrut in 10th grade.”

Me: “Yeah, that part I remember.”

The Shminist: “Well, you should thank the yeshiva. They threw in two years of free periods at no extra charge…”

Me: [knows that there’s something wrong with his logic, but just can’t put my finger on it]

Scene #3

Certain Shiputzim Child: “We have a peulah in fifteen minutes, and I need to bring a chatif.”

Me: “Why did you wait until the last minute to tell me?”

Certain Shiputzim Child: [indignant] “I didn’t wait until the last minute! It’s just that I only remembered about it now…”

What has YOUR family been up to lately?

_____________

*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog

Registering displeasure

Warning: The following post may exceed the recommended daily allowance for long, drawn-out tales of, er, woe and suffering. Proceed at your own risk.

I have many fond memories of my college years.

But registering for courses is certainly not one of them.

It all started with my first semester at Stern. Incoming students signed up for courses after all the upper classmen, and due to the vagaries of the alphabet, I was one of the last students in the entire school to register.

Which meant that by the time my turn came around, the pickings were fairly slim.

I still shudder when I recall running up and down the stairs between the registrar’s office and the computer room, where a large monitor displayed all the closed courses. (“What do you mean EVERY section of freshman composition is closed?! How can I be closed out of freshman comp?!! I’m a freshman!!”)

Desperate, I had no choice but to ignore my mother’s cardinal rule.

The key to a successful college career, she had declared, was to push off taking the dreaded speech class (a general requirement for all Stern students) until one’s senior year, in hope that the academic powers-that-be would somehow be inspired to change the requirements and allow one to graduate without it.

(The fact that speech was still a requirement nearly two decades after my mother had graduated Stern should have been my first clue that the strategy was doomed to fail. But I digress…)

But since there wasn’t too much else left to take that first semester, I was forced to sign up for speech.

(Postscript: The silver lining was that during our senior year, when all my friends were groaning their way through speech, I had the smug self-satisfaction of knowing that I no longer had to deal with that misery. But once again I digress…)

But B”H, in the intervening years -  during which time I graduated college; YZG and I got married; we made aliyah; I started a blog; I neglected that blog; and so on – I was gradually able to come to terms with my, ahem, ordeal.

You see, I was secure in the comforting belief that technological advances would ensure that the Shiputzim kids would be spared the same registration trauma.

Fast forward to two weeks ago, when the Studentit called home in the middle of the day.

Registration for the spring semester had just opened, and she was having trouble registering. Could I please help her, she wondered.

Suffice it to say that although the Studentit attends an internationally-acclaimed institution of higher learning, which boasts some of the country’s finest engineering and computing minds, she and I spent the next two hours glued to our respective computer screens, as the supposedly sophisticated online registration system crashed ignobly right before our very eyes.

It seems the French may be on to something with their whole “plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose” thing (i.e. אֵין כָּל חָדָש תַחַת הַשָמֶש – for the Biblically-oriented amongst you).

[raises glass]

Well, here’s hoping that the registration system improves by the time  the Shiputzim grandchildren (BA”H) are ready for it…

Erev Shavuot 5773

Reason #5432 for making aliyah:
You know Shavuot – aka Chag HaKatzir - is coming, because you see wheat being harvested in fields along the side of the road.

"וַתִּדְבַּק בְּנַעֲרוֹת בֹּעַז לְלַקֵּט עַד כְּלוֹת קְצִיר הַשְּׂעֹרִים וּקְצִיר הַחִטִּים..."

“And she clung to Boaz's maidens to glean until the end of the barley harvest and the wheat harvest...”
(Megilat Ruth 2:23)

And on a related note, here’s Ofra Haza singing “Shibolet BaSadeh”:

The lyrics are available here, and an English translation is available here.

!חג שבועות שמח

City of the Patriarchs

Recently, one of the Shiputzim daughters had the privilege of going on a school trip to Kever Rachel and Hevron. </reason #2467 for making aliyah>

YZG  went along and graciously offered to take some blogworthy pictures.

As always, please click on the photos for a much better view:

Me’arat HaMachpeilah (the Cave of the Patriarchs)

For some 700 years, the Moslems forbade the Jews from going beyond what was then the seventh step leading up to Me’arat HaMachpeilah’s eastern entrance. Today, many Jews continue to daven at this spot, because as the sign beautifully explains, the site “has been hallowed by the prayers and tears of countless generations.”

One of the shuls inside Me’arat HaMachpeilah

The sign reads, “Tziyun Kever Avraham Avinu” (“The Patriarch Avraham’s Grave Marker”) – although the actual burial place is probably not under this spot.

19th century Torah scrolls in Hevron’s Beit Knesset Avraham Avinu. The shul, now B”H rebuilt, was destroyed during the infamous Arab pogrom of 1929, but these Torah scrolls were miraculously saved.

Inside the Beit Hadassah Museum

Another view from the Beit Hadassah Museum

A third view from inside the museum

Thank you, YZG*, for these pictures!

When was the last time you were in Hevron?

___________

* Coincidentally, this is not the first time that YZG’s impressions of Hevron appeared on this blog. Long time readers may recall that thirty years ago, YZG visited Hevron when he came on a high school trip to Israel and kept a journal. :-)

Top 10 signs your son is in the army

The Our Shiputzim Editorial Board proudly presents:

The Top 10 Signs That Your Son* Is an IDF Soldier

(*Or Daughter)

10) His speech is liberally peppered with acronyms (i.e. roshei teivot for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you).

9) Not only have you started to recognize some of those acronyms, but you even know what a handful of them mean.

8) You’ve considered adding a new skill to your LinkedIn profile: washing army uniforms.

7) You’ve convinced yourself that there’s no need to iron those uniforms.

6) Mathematicians may insist that the shortest route between any two given points is a straight line, but you’ve learned that in the army, traveling home from one’s base involves zigzagging across the country and changing buses at countless obscure junctions and intersections.

5) You’ve long since ceased to be surprised that the army functions in a seemingly-constant state of balagan (loosely, disorganization)…

4) Somehow, you’ve suddenly been transformed into the stereotypical Jewish mother (aka an imma Polaniyah – a Polish mother – in the local vernacular). Whenever you speak to your son, you find yourself asking, “But are you SURE you’re getting enough to eat?” (Although to be perfectly fair, a certain hesdernik of my acquaintance is actually eating better now in the army than he did when he was in his yeshiva. Of course, that’s not really saying much… :-))

3) Many of the country’s burning political issues have become far less academic and theoretical and far more personal and relevant. (More on this, perhaps, in a future post.)

2) You finally feel like a “real” Israeli.

1) Every time your son walks through the front door, you’re once again amazed and filled with tremendous gratitude to HaKadosh Baruch Hu that the tall, handsome (BA”H) soldier standing before you is the same tiny baby boy you held in your arms all those years ago.

May Hashem watch over and protect all our soldiers and keep them all safe and sound.

_____________

P.S. Looking for “the Israeli view of yesterday’s US elections?” Here’s my take:

”.על מי לנו להשען? על אבינו שבשמים”
“On Whom can we rely? On our Father in Heaven.” (BT Sotah 49a)

Pool of the Arches

A special shout-out to our dear friends and family on the Eastern Seaboard. We’re thinking of you and hope you all stay safe and dry! Oh, and in case you were wondering, here in Israel, we enjoyed beautiful, clear weather today. I’m just saying…</gratuitous aliyah plug>

We interrupt this blog’s incessant litany of national parks to bring you an idea for a family outing*: a visit to Ramle’s Pool of the Arches.

*Full disclosure: Most of the Shiputzim teenagers did not join us on our recent trip to the pool – they felt that it sounded, and I quote, “boring” – and thus, “family outing” might perhaps be too strong a phrase. But each of the younger (and older) members of the family who came along had fun.

Built in 789 CE, the Pool of the Arches is an underground water reservoir. The ceiling is supported by a series of pillars and curved arches (hence the name), and today, visitors get to explore the pool in row boats:

One of the rowboats

One of the arches

More arches

Historians believe that people would lower buckets into holes in the ceiling to draw water.

Suggestion: The Pool of the Arches can serve as a perfect companion trip to the Nesher cement factory, which is located nearby.

Have you ever been to the Pool of the Arches?

We now return you back to your regularly scheduled catalogue of national parks…

Reunited

In honor of YZG, who graduated from college 25 years ago BA”H, the Our Shiputzim Editorial Board proudly presents:

The Top 10 Reasons You Didn’t Go To Your 25th College Reunion

10) You made aliyah, but the reunion was held in the Old Country.

9) You didn’t want to be stuck (excuse my Heblish).

8) Not only would you have had to speak to people you don’t remember…

7) …But you would’ve had to pretend to remember them.

6) One word: Fadichah!

5) There was a reason you weren’t friends with many of these people back in college…

4) Did I mention that you would’ve been stuck?

3) You would’ve run out of awkward small talk within five minutes. Ten, if your wife would’ve been there to help you…

2) Although you’re still firmly ensconced in your early twenties, all of your former classmates are apparently now middle-aged.

1) Pictures of the reunion were posted on Facebook. Which means that there’s a slight chance (and I’m not saying that this would’ve actually happened, but it IS theoretically possible) that complete strangers - say, to pick a totally random example, a former classmate and his wife, who didn’t go to the reunion (see reason #10 above) – would’ve compared the pictures to your yearbook and mistakenly assumed that you’re now middle-aged too…

Soaking it all in

Warning: The following post may exceed the statute of limitations on post-Pesach wrap ups. Proceed at your own risk.

“I have a question which I suspect no one has ever asked the Rav before,” YZG began.

The Rav was skeptical. There isn’t much he hasn’t seen or heard.

“We’ll see,” he replied noncommittally but with a definite twinkle in his eye.

And so YZG explained.

For 14 years – i.e. since the last time Shvii Shel Pesach (the 7th day of Pesach) came out on a Friday {insert: requisite Torah Tidbits stats, which note that there won’t be such a long break for another 200 years or so} – we’d been planning that this year, we’d spend the last day of Pesach and Shabbat Parshat Shmini (aka Isru Chag) at our gebrochts-eating relatives.

You see, the Shiputzim daughters are all determined NOT to be one of those women who grow up not eating gebrochts and then refuse to serve it to their families - even if their husbands DO indulge in knaidlach, matzah brie, matzah farfel kugel, and so on.

But in order to avoid falling into this surprisingly common trap, the Shiputzim daughters need to taste the aforementioned soaked delicacies.

And so, for the sake of the Shiputzim daughters and their future husbands and kids (BA”H), we decided to go to our relatives for that Shabbat.

After all, when it comes to gebrochts, they’re the experts. In contrast, we’re mere amateurs, at best.

But a couple of weeks before Pesach, we suddenly realized that there might be a problem.

Because assuming that such a thing is possible, said relatives are even more fanatic about early Shabbat than we are.

Which meant that it would not yet be Tzait HaKochavim (loosely, nightfall) when we were going to be accepting Shabbat.

Was there any way, YZG asked, for us to have gebrochts at that Friday night meal?

The Rav smiled.

No, he certainly had NOT been asked that question before… :-)

However, be that as it may, he continued, we should wait until after Tzait to eat the gebrochts (although for this purpose, we could abide by a lenient opinion of Tzait).

Translation: We wouldn’t be able to have knaidlach with our soup, but if we stalled and sang a few extra zemirot, we could easily partake of the matzah farfel kugel that was set to appear during the main course.

For the record, our gracious hostess offered to switch the courses and serve the soup course AFTER the main course - thus allowing us to have the knaidlach, albeit at the price of the matzah farfel kugel.

And so, as we are wont to do, the Shiputzim family took a vote.

We all agreed that the picky eaters among us (read: those who wouldn’t commit to eat both the knaidlach AND the kugel) had no say in the matter. In addition, the voting commissioner (that would be me) ruled that YZG couldn’t vote, because it’s his fault that we don’t eat gebrochts… :-)

With only a handful of eligible voters remaining, the decision was unanimous. Everyone opted for the kugel. (Their reasoning was that they’d all had knaidlach before – although admittedly not up to our hostess’s standards – but no one makes matzah farfel kugel when it isn’t Pesach. No, not even during Gebrochts Week…)

And, so, to make a long, boring story even longer and more boring, we had gebrochts, and all was right with the world.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering why we wasted our time on gebrochts when we could’ve been eating kitniyot </reason #2119 for making aliyah>, wonder no more.

Because on that Shabbat afternoon, we had some Doritos, and all would’ve been even more right with the world. Except that surprisingly, unlike dishes containing soaked matzah, salty corn-based snacks just don’t seem to lend themselves to long-winded, drawn-out posts…

Did you eat gebrochts and/or kitniyot on Shabbat Parshat Shmini/Isru Chag?

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P.S. Speaking of Pesach, check out the latest Kosher Cooking Carnival here. Special thanks to Jennifer in MamaLand for including my non-gebrochts choco-nut bars.

Not my type

No three little Hebrew words instill panic and dread in the heart of even the most veteran oleh quite like the seemingly-innocuous phrase: “.תשלח\י לי מייל” (“Send me an email.”)

It begins with typing (i.e. hakladah - for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you).

In many workplaces – especially high-tech firms – English is often the email lingua franca. But if you’re a freelancer like me, you may not have that luxury.

Instead, you’re forced to rely on a combination of the “hunt and peck” method and the delusional belief that your fingers will instinctively figure out the Hebrew equivalent of “ASDFJKL;”.

Yet, to put it mildly, this doesn’t make for the most efficient of typing experiences…

But even once you somehow manage to get the correct letters on screen, your problems are far from over.

After all, now you’re stuck with a document that you’re pretty sure is rife with spelling and grammatical errors.

Because conjugating verbs or sorting out the whole male/female (shulchan echad or shulchan echat?) and singular/plural (shulchanim or shulchanot?) thing? Not exactly your strong point.

Of course, normally, you’d simply ask a native Israeli – read: any of your children who already took the bagrut in lashon - for help. But seeing as how it’s the middle of the day and all, none of the older kids are home.

And thus, you find yourself pondering that age-old question: What sounds less unprofessional – a letter written by an oleh or a letter proofread by a not-yet literate five year old?

Desperate, you go with the latter option and hope for the best the not TOO terrible.

Which, you’re painfully aware, is probably not the wisest course of action….

How are your Hebrew typing skills?

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Disclaimer: Any resemblance between the above post and an actual regular feature of life here in TRLEOOB (=the real life equivalent of our blog) may or may not be purely coincidental.

Yishuv Eretz Yisrael

Warning: The following post may exceed the recommended daily allowance for blatant religious Zionism. Proceed at your own risk.

Last week (21 Adar) marked the yahrzeit of Rav Shlomo Yosef Zevin z”l, founding editor of the Encyclopedia Talmudit, 1959 Israel Prize winner, and renowned author.

When it came to the mitzvah of Yishuv Eretz Yisrael (settling/dwelling in the Land of Israel), he did not mince words.

For instance, during the War of Independence, Rav Zevin wrote about military enlistment for yeshiva students:

“Master of the Universe! Is one permitted to rely on a miracle in a time of definite mortal danger and say that ‘our rabbis do not need protection?’ And Hevron of 5689 (1929) proves this! Did not holy and pure young people, who glow like the radiance of the firmament, the cream of the yeshiva and its sages, fall before the sons of evil?!...

“And why did Torah scholars abandon – together with our other brethren in Bnei Yisrael - the neighborhoods which came under sniper fire, rather than using this segulah (loosely, charm) of ‘our rabbis do not need protection’?... Is this da’at haTorah (the Torah approach)?…

“The entire nation in Eretz Yisrael and the Diaspora… well understand that there is no revival, chas v’shalom, of settling the Land and the survivors in exile without an independent state in our Land, which will absorb with open arms our blood-drenched brothers, who wander and roam over the burning ground of the exile.”

Also, just before the State of Israel was established, Rav Zevin wrote:

“Throughout the time of the Diaspora, one could not reach the pinnacle of the mitzvah of settling the Land – in its full splendor…

“And a matter which need not be said is that all of those who assisted and assist and will assist in the establishment of the State and its realization and founding are, of course, participating in the observance of that mitzvah, which is weighed against all the mitzvot in the Torah.”

May we all be privileged to observe this important mitzvah, speedily and in our days.

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*Special thanks to the Official Our Shiputzim Hebrew-English translator for providing the above translations. Please note that she’s available for translation work. For more information, contact me at OurShiputzim at gmail dot com, and I’ll gladly forward all serious inquiries to her.

Tu B’Shvat 5772

Leora asked a number of Israeli bloggers – including yours truly - to share some thoughts on Tu B’Shvat. Here’s what I came up with:

Growing up in the States, Tu B'Shvat was simply a day to eat (or, more likely, NOT to eat... :-)) a bit of tasteless dry fruit - typically, the ubiquitous and rather unappetizing "bukser" (dried carob) – and perhaps sing a few listless rounds of “Eretz Chitah U’Se’orah,” a song extolling the Shivat HaMinim (the Seven Species):

“A Land of wheat and barley and grapevine and fig and pomegranate; a Land of oil-producing olives and date-honey.” (Devarim 8:8)

But here in Israel, Tu B'Shvat is so much more than that. </reason #7811 for making aliyah>

On a practical level, according to the Talmud, Tu B’Shvat marks the beginning of the new agricultural year – which has halachic significance for those of us who are fortunate to have fruit trees in our backyards – and in many schools, it marks the beginning of the spring semester.

Tu B’Shvat is also the day when kids across the country head outdoors and plant trees, and it’s the day when many families celebrate lovely Tu B’Shvat Seders.

But mainly, Tu B'Shvat is a time to appreciate Eretz Yisrael and its myriad incredible blessings.

It’s a time to thank Hashem for the privilege of living here in this beautiful Land and having the ability to fulfill the mitzvot hat’luyot baAretz (a special category of mitzvot which can only be observed in Eretz Yisrael).

On most days, we’re so busy living life that we forget to stop and recognize all the amazing wonders which surround us here in Israel.

Tu B’Shvat is a perfect opportunity to do just that.

Happy Tu B’Shvat!

For more Tu B’Shvat reflections, be sure to check out Leora's post. 

Fantastic Quote Friday: From the Knesset Edition

Reason #3122 for making aliyah:

While addressing the Knesset plenum, MK Gilad Erdan, Israel’s Minister of Environmental Protection, directed his remarks to one of the Arab MKs and quoted the beautiful and well-known first Rashi on the Torah:

Hat tip: Rafi G.

Here’s the full text and a translation* of this amazing Rashi:

”’בראשית‘ – אמר רבי יצחק: לא היה צריך להתחיל את התורה אלא (שמות יב:ב) ’מהחודש הזה לכם‘ - שהיא מצוה ראשונה שנצטוו בה ישראל. ומה טעם פתח בבראשית? משום (תהלים קיא:ו) ’כח מעשיו הגיד לעמו לתת להם נחלת גוים.‘ שאם יאמרו אומות העולם לישראל: לסטים אתם, שכבשתם ארצות שבעה גוים, הם אומרים להם: כל הארץ של הקב"ה היא. הוא בראה ונתנה לאשר ישר בעיניו. ברצונו נתנה להם וברצונו נטלה מהם ונתנה לנו.“

“‘In the beginning’ – R’ Yitzchak said: It was not necessary to begin the Torah but from, ‘This month shall be for you,’ (Shmot 12:2) which is the first commandment which Israel were commanded. And what is the reason it opened with, ‘In the beginning?’ Because, ‘The strength of His deeds He related to His people; to give them the inheritance of the nations.’ (Tehilim 111:6)

“For if the nations of the world will say to Israel, ‘You are robbers, for you conquered the lands of the seven nations,’ they will say to them, ‘The entire earth belongs to the Holy One, Blessed be He. He created it and gave it to whomever He deemed proper. By His will, He gave it to them, and by His will, He took it from them and gave it to us.’” (Rashi – Breishit 1:1)

!שבת שלום ומבורך

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*The above translation is courtesy of the Official Our Shiputzim Hebrew-English translator. Please note that she’s available for translation work. For more information, contact me at OurShiputzim at gmail dot com, and I’ll gladly forward all serious inquiries to her.

Minchah PSA

Reason #7112 for making aliyah:

Starting today (Rosh Chodesh Shvat 5772), there will be a daily minyan for Minchah – 15 minutes before sh’kiyah (sunset) - at every gas station along Kvish 6 (the Trans-Israel Highway).

For more information about this great initiative, do a search for “תפילה בשש” on Facebook.

!חודש טוב ומבורך

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P.S. Speaking of Facebook, don’t forget to “Like” the Our Shiputzim FB page, in order to receive Our Shiputzim updates.

How to tell if you’ve finally become an Israeli

The Our Shiputzim Editorial Board proudly presents:

The Top 10 Ways You Know Your Klitah* Is Complete

(10) Your American relatives mention that their kids’ school has a strictly-enforced “no-nit policy,” and you assume they must be joking.

(9) Your husband has been to at least one wedding without a jacket or tie, and you had no problem with his attire.

(8) You know what everything on the school supplies list means.

(7) You casually call your children’s teachers at home, and you don’t feel guilty about it.

(6) When one of the aforementioned teachers announces to the class, on the first day of school, that she prefers “10-shurot notebooks” - even though the list said “14-shurot notebooks”  (see item #8) - you don’t panic or immediately run out to the store. Instead, you politely ask (see item #7) if you can keep the 14-shurot “because of the expense of replacing them.” And when the teacher answers your question with a question and inquires if you think your child can handle the 14-shurot, you blithely reply in the affirmative – even if you haven’t the slightest idea if this is actually true…

(5) You can barely remember the days when you used to talk about things like “shalosheudes” and “yontif”.

(4) Not only do your kids speak fluent Heblish, but so do you…

(3) You see stunning photos of gorgeous autumn foliage and pristine snow-covered lawns, and all you can think about is how grateful you are that you no longer have to worry about raking leaves or shoveling your driveway.

(2) During winter trips abroad (i.e. to chutz laAretz or chu”l, for the Hebraically-oriented amongst you), you wonder why all the homes you visit are ridiculously and uncomfortably overheated.

(1) You have discovered that when all else fails in sticky social situations – you know, the kind your Israeli offspring refer to as MAH zeh fadichah! – there is absolutely no statute of limitations on skillfully playing the powerful New Oleh Card…

What would you add to this list?

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*Klitah (קליטה) – Literally, “absorption.” Refers to the process of adjusting, adapting and acclimating to Israeli society.

Bar mitzvah

I first posted the following song back in August, in honor of our family’s aliyah bar mitzvah.

As you may recall, it features one of the Shiputzim kids (but not the current bar mitzvah boy), who recorded the song for his/her grandparents in the States about a year or so after we made aliyah.

For obvious reasons, I decided to repost it today:

!שבת שלום ומבורך