The Maccabeats: Les Misérables

Here’s the Maccabeats’ brand new Pesach video, based on “Les Misérables”:

Happy cleaning!

Just call me Yente

Ah, the lengths we bloggers go for our craft!

{cue: dramatic sigh}

Take me, for instance.

I mean, sure, I could’ve continued to churn out my usual blogging fare – you know, things like Heblish, national parks, and so on – and no one would’ve complained. (Well, not TOO much, anyway…)

But instead of resting on my laurels, I decided that the time had come to take things to a whole new level.

To boldly go where no J-blogger had gone before.

To use my blogging powers for good.

To get my blog into the shidduch game.

And thus, I channeled my inner Yente…

…And deliberately caused my blogging world to collide head-on with my real life world.

My blogging friend relative G6 has all the details.

Mazal tov to the young couple and to their parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins – including, of course, those who now fall into more than one of the above categories!!

יהי רצון שתזכו לבנות בית נאמן בישראל!

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles

Warning: The following post may exceed the recommended daily allowance for hyperbole. Proceed at your own risk.

As every desperate/bemused/frustrated/resigned (pick your favorite adjective) Israel parent is well-aware, Chodesh Irgun is upon us.

So, why haven’t I mentioned this important fact, you’re no doubt wondering?

Two reasons, really.

a) It’s kind of hard to mention anything, when one is busy neglecting one’s blog.

b) I figured that by now, I’d pretty much said everything there was to say (and then some…) about Chodesh Irgun.

But then yesterday, a miracle happened.

Yes, a miracle.

Right here in TRLEOOB*.

<brief explanation>

First, a quick refresher for those who – for reasons best known to themselves – have not committed every single word I’ve ever written to memory. (But if you consider yourself to be an OurShiputzim expert, please feel free to skip ahead…)

Chodesh Irgun usually includes at least one communal seudah shlishit, and said seudah shlishit is inevitably preceded by the Call.

As I noted in my original post on the subject, the Call is when the madrich/madrichah (youth group leader/counselor) calls (hence the name) each of the chanichim (youth group members) to arrange who will bring what to the seudah shlishit.

Without fail, the Call arrives about an hour before Shabbat (when no one has time to run out and go shopping, even if the stores weren’t closed) and involves the most random items (which the typical family rarely stocks in their pantry).

</explanation>

If you’ll kindly consult your calendar, you’ll see that yesterday was a MONDAY – i.e. many, many, MANY days before Shabbat.

Yet, amazingly, it was, indeed, yesterday when one of the Shiputzim daughters got the Call from her madrichah!

And as if the Call’s timing wasn’t shocking enough, the Shiputzim daughter in question was merely asked to bring a bottle of drink and a can of pickles - neither of which is remotely obscure or exotic.

Astonishing, no?

In fact, I’m sure you’ll agree that this means that TRLEOOB* now qualifies for a recitation of שעשה לי נס במקום הזה (“Blessed is… the One Who performed a miracle for me at this site”)…

______________

*TRLEOOB=the real life equivalent of our blog

Heblish: The Emptying Nest Edition

You might think that since TRLEOOB (=the real life equivalent of our blog) is relatively empty these days – seeing as how one Shiputzim kid is in the army and a second is doing sherut leumi (national service) – we’ve experienced a significant decrease in our Heblish levels.

But you would be wrong.

Because as it turns out, the younger Shiputzim kids are more than capable of coining plenty of new Heblishisms all on their own.

In fact, the Heblish has been flying so fast and furious around here that I believe it’s time we had a Heblish theme song. You know, perhaps something like this?

Sample Heblish Theme Song
(To the tune of “The Impossible Dream”)

To dreeeeeam that you speak fluent English.
To mangle two languages instead.
To ignore all the known rules of syntax.
To translate each and every word literally.

This is your quest: to cause your Anglo parents to wince.
No matter how awkward, no matter how wrong,
To fight for the right, without question or pause,
To always use Heblish, regardless of grammatical laws.

But I’m certainly open to other ideas… :-)

And in the meantime, here’s yet another batch of entries from the Official Our Shiputzim Heblish-English Dictionary:

Slowly by slowly: Hebrew source – לאט לאט. English definition – Little by little. Sample usage - “I moved the stuff over slowly by slowly.”

Yell on: Hebrew source – צעק על. English definition – Yell at. Sample usage - “The substitute teacher spent the whole day yelling on the class.”

Switch: Hebrew source – להחליף. English definition – Trade. Sample usage - “We switched stickers in recess today.” (See also this post, which shows that “switch” can also mean “substitute.”)

Israelit: Hebrew source – ישראלית. English definition – Israeli (fem.). Sample usage -“She doesn’t speak English. She’s an Israelit.”

And while we’re at it - and because Heblish spans households and dialects - here are a couple of reader submissions:

To my opinion: Hebrew source – לדעתי. English definition – In my opinion. Sample usage –“To my opinion, that’s the best way to do it.” (Hat tip: Miriyummy)

Comfortable: Hebrew source – נוח. English definition – Convenient. Sample usage – “I'm not coming home for Shabbat this week. It's more comfortable for me to come next week.” (Hat tip: Mother in Israel)

Thanks, everyone, and please keep all those excellent Heblishisms coming! I’d love to include them in a future Heblish post. You can leave a comment on this post or send an email to OurShiputzim at gmail dot com.

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Previous Heblish editions are available here: Heblish I, Heblish II, Heblish III, Heblish IV, Heblish V, Heblish VI, Heblish VII, Heblish VIII, Heblish IX, Heblish X, Heblish XI, Heblish XII, Heblish XIII, Heblish XIV, Heblish XV, Heblish XVI, Heblish XVII, Heblish XVIII, Heblish XIX, and Heblish XX.

Crowning Glory

Hey, parents!

It’s nearly midnight. Do you know where your high school seniors are?

I ask, because if it’s on or about Rosh Chodesh Adar, chances are said 12th graders are off somewhere working on the all-important Hachtarah.

What’s a Hachtarah, you ask?

Well, to answer that, I suppose we should consult that scholarly classic, namely, The Official Our Shiputzim Adar Lexicon (2010), which includes the following definition:

Hachtarah (הכתרה) - Literally, coronation or inauguration. Basically an elaborate Purim shpiel, but also the event at which the Rav or Rabbanit Purim is crowned.  In most schools, this is considered to be the highlight of the senior year.

Now, far be it from me, a mere blogger, to argue with such an authoritative and well-regarded reference work as the aforementioned Adar Lexicon, but although this definition is technically correct, I’m not sure that it fully conveys the Hachtarah’s magnitude or significance.

That is, I believe that when the lexicon was originally published, the author was then the mother of a then-yeshiva high school senior.

In other words, the author obviously had no firsthand experience with a Hachtarah in an ulpanah, and as a result, she clearly did not realize that in an ulpanah, the Hachtarah is less “elaborate Purim shpiel” and more what is referred to in Orthodox Jewish girls’ high schools in the States (or in the New York area, anyway) as the “Production.”

In my own quaint, out-of-town school, we called it simply a play or a musical – without a capital letter…

Needless to say, a major theatrical event such as the Hachtarah requires weeks and weeks of preparation - including writing scripts, rehearsing scenes, building sets, sewing costumes, choreographing dances, and so on.

Which, in educational terms, translates to almost no classes from Rosh Chodesh Shvat, countless all-nighters, exhausted girls, and bemused parents.

And of course all this happens just as the girls are interviewing for Sherut Leumi and even taking one or two of the Bagruyot.

But, as they say, the show must go on, and so, we here at Our Shiputzim extend our best wishes to all the performers and eagerly look forward to what promises to be a great night!

Happy Adar!

Virtual goat-herding

Oddly enough, goats have proved to be a popular topic in the J-Blogosphere:

• First, there was Batya’s post about using goat milk to do a mitzvah.
• Next, A Mother in Israel discussed goats in Bnei Brak. (Yes, you read that correctly!)
• And finally, Miriam guest posted here on Our Shiputzim about her family’s pet goat Hephzibah.

Speaking of Hephzibah, some of you observed that you hadn’t pegged me as the type to have a livestock-owning sibling. And the truth is that all of us were startled to learn of the goat’s existence.

However, one must embrace one’s relatives’ eccentricities. Indeed, there are those who claim that my blogging habit is equally unconventional. (“Do people actually read your blog? Seriously? Why??!!” –- a close family member)

In any event, here’s a picture of Hephzibah, בכבודה ובעצמה:

If you’ve had the pleasure of visiting Miriam and her family, you’re no doubt aware that their neighborhood is known for its strong winds.

Recently, these winds blew Hephzibah’s house down. (Apparently, the wind was unable to distinguish between a goat and the Three Little Pigs…)

Thus, as you can see in the next two pictures, her owners were forced to tether her under the awning leading to their front door in order to protect her from the elements:

But not to worry.

Hephzibah’s new digs are currently under construction:

And in conclusion, please prepare your favorite marionettes. All together now:

High on a hill was a lonely goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo
Loud was the voice of the lonely goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl-oo