Still in Montana...

(Montana manatee in Swiftcurrent Lake, near Many Glacier in Glacier NP)

Friendly Advice*:
Don't taunt the moose.
Don't feed the moose.
Don't get near the moose.

They look like doofy horses, but they're bad-tempered, weighty, and strong.
If you want to simulate the after effects of a moose attack, hoist a pallet of cinder blocks two stories up, then drop it on your chest.

Just because it won't eat you afterwards, it doesn't mean it won't kill you.




A Møøse once bit my sister.
No realli! She was Karving her initials on the møøse...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
*Really true this time. Not kidding.

New Orleans - Part III (Final)

6:30am rolled around and we were up and moving... Amazing for a Saturday in New Orleans...
I made the girls get up and moving on a perfectly selfish motive, because I wanted to share my favorite breakfast spot with them...
We braved the 38 degree temps- fortunately the rain had stopped- and walked over to Poydras St, and got in line at Mother's Restaurant.
"Why so early?" an astute Constant Reader might ask...
Answer:Because they only have a limited amount of black ham.

They bake nice crusty hams all night long, and in the morning they trim off the outside crusts of the ham and set that aside. This crispy savory-sweet ham trimming is amazing.
And it only lasts a little while, so you've gotta be there early.


The black ham biscuit. I'll take 6, please.

Their entire menu is awesome old-school New Orleans diner fare...
If you don't make the cut-off for the black ham, get a biscuit with debris (the dregs from bottom of the roast beef tank) or if you go for lunch, get the Ferdi's Special Po' Boy - Ham, roast beef, debris and au jus... Amazing.
Highly recommended!

After a sumptuous brekky, we trundled back to the hotel to check out and head off to some daytime activities...
We saw a few interesting things along the way back to the hotel...

An endangered species- sadly, this one is deceased and will no longer roam freely the streets and alleys, providing help and succor to hookers, pimps and drug dealers. RIP.

I love graffiti... This was great.
Damn, Caitlyn. Can't you stay out of trouble?


This was a headscratcher- people build little fences around trees to protect them as they grow...
Like this:


But this...
C'mon circular tree guard railing- you had one job...
Ouch.
So we got checked out then headed off to enjoy the sunny day (finally).

We needed something to fortify us as we started the walkabout, so we found our way to the French Market-

The PC had her Mimosa, I had a Hot Cider and Rum, and The Woman had a Bloody Mary.

The PC and The Woman opined that they'd like to see one of the many graveyards that dot the New Orleans area, so I took them to St. Louis Cemetery #1 on Basin St.

They (the City of New Orleans) are changing the rules on touring the cemeteries- soon you will only be able to visit if you are part of a bona-fide and licensed tour.
No more individuals going walk-up, walk in because of the vandalism of the crypts.
Two cases in particular:
Marie Laveau's tomb...
Local legend says if you do any of a number of rituals - draw X's on the tomb in chalk, knocking three times, rubbing your foot on the tomb or lighting candles and shouting your desire, you might get your wish...
More likely, if you get caught these days, you'll get a charge of vandalism and pay a hefty fine...

The girls checking out a tomb- this may or may not be Marie Laveau's (Or Marie Compte's, or Marie Phhilome Galpion... Who knows?) final resting place, but it seems like a large number of people think it's worth damaging someone else's resting place in order to participate in dubious urban legends.
Morons.

Speaking of morons...
The last empty space in St. Louis #1 was recently (in 2010) purchased (for an undisclosed but reportedly huge sum) and a crypt built to await the owner's final demise...

This is/will be Nick Cage's final resting place...
The Latin reads Omnia Ab Uno (everything from one)...
Nick isn't the moron in question- it's the idjit women that make pilgrimages here to leave lipstick prints on the marble plaque... (Click the pic and you'll see them.)
As for the pyramid- National Treasure anyone?

I enjoy walking around cemeteries, looking at the architecture and stonework and ironmongery of the crypts. I also get a kick out of seeing other minutiae in the cities of the dead...

As I mentioned on twitter regarding this crypt- These are nice shiny chains, but if whatever is inside that box wants out, them chains ain't gonna stop 'em.



Lunch found us at Acme Oyster House in Metarie for, you guessed it... More charbroiled oysters! Yay!

That night we wound up down on Frenchman Street, going to a couple clubs (The Spotted Cat, Blue Nile) and enjoyed a streetcorner performance by what looked like a high school band.
We also wound up having a great dinner later in the evening at 13... Great food, if you get a chance- go. The Srirachos (Sriracha-tater tot-nacho hybrid) are awesome.

Back to the hotel by 1am, and back on the road to Jax at 9:00 the next morning...
We could only take so much fun...

On the way to New Orleans we were full of energy and potential...
And the way home, not so much...
Back to reality...

Update: the Girls are already planning their next trip to New Orleans... Koeschi help us.


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Happy @#^%!*ing Thanksgiving

Today:

JAX  ->
IAD  ->
VIE  ->
KRR...

Then two lovely nights at Отель Терем.


It's not a bordello.
I think.

Film at 11.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Fighting Ennui

I was in search of diversions a few weeks back and I reached out to The Czar at Castle Gormogon (Interested? Contact Castle G, Plateau of Leng RFD) to see if they had any entertaining sideshow exhibits.

"Most Dread & Awful,
I’ve been quite busy of late, and due to a tedious business with a certain drag queen in Pocatello Idaho I have had to shut down my website for a bit and go low-drag in order to avoid the Dogs of Law…
However, I really need to plan a little getaway before my summer schedule begins, and with the need to avoid my normal haunts and local bars I was planning on making another run at visiting the Plateau of Leng and Castle G…
One thing I am particularly looking for is an abyss for gazing into, and in a typical Nietzsche-esque fashion, be gazed into…
So, y’all got a Bottomless Pit of Despair, or maybe just one of the regular sort?
TBG, 2012 vacation planning. "

Although he had a suggestion or two I still had to search high and low for a true abyssal void...


One of the things I discovered that there are some rules concerning visiting and looking into bottomless pits...
I guess everything has it own etiquette and protocol.

Viewing the Bottomless Pit  -  The Rules:

• Please behave responsibly when standing near the bottomless pit. No shoving or roughhousing. Do not pretend to push your friend into the pit and then grab the back of his shirt and pull him backward.
• The bottomless pit is not a trash bin. Please dispose of all waste in the clearly marked receptacles.
  
• Do not throw coins into the pit. It is not a wishing well; it is an eerie and some say unnatural phenomenon that appears to defy all earthly laws. Then again, that would also seem to describe any wishing well. Go ahead and throw the coins.
  
• Do not attempt to jump over the pit unless you’ve gotten a good running start.
• Do not drop handwritten messages into the pit in an attempt to communicate with people in China, the denizens of Hell, or the Mole People. Scientific analysis has determined that the pit does not lead to any of those places, but does not rule out the possibility that it could be a vortex leading to another dimension. So please address all correspondence accordingly.
  
• You may hear a strange voice whispering in your ear to, “Jump! Jump in and end it all!” Don’t fall for it. That voice is coming from Doug, one of our eternally bored attendants.
  
• Do not throw your car keys to someone standing on the other side of the pit unless that person is a good driver with a healthy respect for other people’s property.
  
•  Chest-kicking someone into the pit in a re-enactment of that famous scene from the movie 300 is highly discouraged, unless you can deliver the line “This… is… Sparta!” in a moderately amusing way.
  
• Please note: When you stare into the bottomless pit, the bottomless pit stares back at you.
  
• When, despite all of these precautions, you still manage to fall into the pit, please do not shriek as you plummet to whatever dark fate awaits you. Ghostly echoes of your scream can reach the surface for several days afterward, and this can put a damper on everyone else’s enthusiasm when viewing the pit.
  
• Failure to comply with any of these rules may result in a barrier of thin twine being erected around the pit.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE
*The rules by Ralph Gamelli

Off the Grid

Greetings Constant Readers...
I'm going off the grid for a bit, sporadic Interw3b access, phone, etc.

I've hired a temp to fill in for me for the interim...

Her name is Proxi Sabot...
She's going to fling a few items up on the ol' site now and then until I return to the land of Full Web Access.
I have to warn you, she's not politically correct, and she doesn't have my legendary ability to suppress the urge to rant about assholes and idiots. And she is even more profane than I am...
One of her hobbies is what most folks would consider "deviant art" and what some would consider soft/odd pron. (Yes, it's misspelled for a reason. Don't send me a spelling flame.) She asked if there were any restrictions to what she posted like "obscenity" or "taste"...
I replied that there han't been any so far, why would I start now?...


If WORDS or the occasional off-color illustration offends you, best take Listen 2 Uncle Jay off your reading list for a couple weeks.

Where am I going?
Glad you asked...
I'm off to visit the Democratic People's Republic of Mind Your Own Damn Business.

Y'all be nice to Proxi.
Word has it that she's not one to suffer fools gladly, and it's costing me a pretty penny to have her share what she calls "useful stuff" with y'all.
She's also a crack shot with a Beretta A391. Don't piss her off.

See y'all soon.


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Progress?

Waiting for the Ass-Kicker-in-Chief to plug the leak...
Because apparently he's the only one with the knowledge of how this is done.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Storm Front Rolling In

The beach at Ambram as a storm rolls in from offshore.

Snorkeling report: 60' visibility.
Bottom: Sand and marble stones.
Marine life: Several species of ornamentals, sea urchins.
Oddity: No shells. No snail shells or clam shells on the beach or in the water.

Hmmm.

Naxos - On the Road

Breakfast,
7 Euro
Coffee or tea, toasts, yogurt with fruit, orange juice.

Considering that most Greeks think that "breakfast" is a cup of coffee and a cigarette, it was a pretty good start.
Our breakfast place is called "Heavens" Cafe - Bar - Internet.
Address: Next to the police station.

Really.

Here's their card.



Note to self... Don't bring jumper cables here.

-----

Onward-

We walked up the road a bit where Maria (our hostess) had told us "If you want to rent the scooter come and see Nikos. He will give you the good price."
It was a quick and painless exchange - He had 60 Euros of my folding money, and we had two of his scooters for a few days. And based on my last visit to the Hellas, I got full coverage for the machines... Damage by theft, auto accident, carelessness, acts of war or nature- we're covered. Pretty much anything short of dousing myself in gasoline and running the machine into a crowded restaurant is covered under this policy.
It's a good investment; These bikes are going to take a beating...

We head back to Studio Maria and get ready for today's jaunt.
I grab my camera and we're off...

A picture, they say, is worth a thousand words, so rather than bore you with a dull travelogue, let's let the pictures (and my captions) tell the tale.

We got on the road north, heading to Apollonas...
One thing about Naxos is that is has quite a bit of livestock.
Prior to this trip I would have sworn the only 4-footed barnyard animals in Greece were goats. In Naxos, goats, we have them, but other animal friends as well.

First- The Cow.


Close encounter of the beef kind.

Don't get me wrong... the goats were out en masse...

We had the free goats on the hill...


And we have a dog watching his goats.

We even have a goat directing traffic and giving roadside advice:

Hey Dude... Don't order the lamb!
Have the Chicken! Trust me.

On the way to Apollonas there is an old quarry where an old-time Naxoan sculptor was carving a statue of Dionysus out of the very living rock when his chisel slipped and the statue broke.
He threw down his tools and left the unfinished figure in the old quarry at Kouros.


The Rock Giant


The Woman Knows her Greek pantheon (she went to school in Athens, eh?).
Dionysus was the god of good times and heavy drinking.
(Obviously a UGA grad.)


Something to put the scale in order...
"Hell, he's bigger than I am..."

We made it to Apollonas...
It's a little town on the north coast of Naxos.

The view as we approached was spectacular...

A light lunch was in order.
Feta cheese, bread, olives, Tatziki...
(Sorry, no food pics.)

We had help ordering from one of the locals.

Fish. You gets the fish for me.
I lets you keep the feta.

We got back on the road stopping a several places along the way to look at the beaches and potential snorkeling spots.

I don't know how I'm getting down there, but I'm diving this spot.

This beach, Ambram, is a bit easier to get to...

Definitely coming back here too.

We also got a chance to look around Naxos Chora- the main town of Naxos.
The city was built up around an old Venetian fort.

The main tower of the Kastro.

The area near the fort and the towers are a maze of tiny alleys, tunnels & arched passages.

Very easy to get lost here...

The signature structure on the island was the gate of the temple of Apollo,
situated on an island near the ferry landing and the main waterfront.

You can see the waterfront of Naxos-Chora in the background.

And for our Art Lovers out there:
Another statue near the waterfront...

Hey sculptor guy...
It's not all about tits and ass...
She needs some arms, and uh, how about a face?

The Naxos-Chora Waterfront.

Bars and restaurants and tavernas, oh my!

Stay tuned for Day Three...
Naxos X-Games
-or-
Stupid Scooter Tricks

TBG

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE