Wow.

Holy crap...

Well... its all over but the shouting...

Things are really going to get interesting now.

TBG

Current Events

The character 變 is bián.
Representing 'change'.

Not the pocket or loose kind...

The defecation has launched and should impact the oscillating ventilator in 4...3...2...

TBG

WTF Rio? - Part 207b

Now that the opening ceremonies are over and I finally have all my equipment in place, I have a little breathing room and can make some comments...

Re: Opening Ceremonies and one-off sports at Olympics.

When did walking in sparkly dress with a thigh-high slit in four inch heels become an Olympic event?


Don't get me wrong- I'm sure it was an Olympic feat for Giselle Bundchen to walk all the way across the floor of the stadium under the gaze of millions. But still...

I'm trying to find out how one gets to be a judge in that event.

Also- In Tokyo there will 6 exhibition sports - only for the 2020 Olympics.
Baseball/softball, surfing, skateboarding, karate and speed climbing.
Being in Tokyo, I wonder about the surfing event- Will they create a wave simulator or some kind of man-made wave system...

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Rio Navigation and Work Fun

Opening Ceremonies is a delay in my schedule because the TV Truck used for that show pulls up stakes and moves from Maracanã to the OLS (Olympic Stadium) for Track & Field. Once it landed at the T&F stadium I had to go install my last suite of hardware...


I was sitting at breakfast on Sunday planning to go to OLS at 8:30 or so, and the NBC IT guy who had installed the network hardware on Saturday afternoon had words of wisdom:

"Make sure your driver knows the way to the stadium.
Mine didn't, and we were totally lost in a not-very-nice area. The driver finally pulled over and found a guy with a machete, no shirt, prison tattoos, sitting by flaming oil drum full of burning chunks of old automobile tires under an overpass to ask about directions.
I was hiding under the back seat of the van. I knew we were both going to die!"

Dude... Never get out of the boat.
I got my install done with only a *little* shouting and death threats...
I ran into an IP conflict with some other equipment...
Valid IP addresses are few and far between in these parts, Buckaroo.
When the Powers That Be issue you an IP, you fucking use THAT address AND NOTHING ELSE.
I didn't actually hurt the offending technician, or his gear, but I guarantee he won't 'borrow' any addresses ever again.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Trolling the interns in the men's room...

(Man, that doesn't sound right...)

The restrooms in the IBC have Dyson Airblade Vs in them in an effort to make the Games greener.


(In this case, the green is the algae growing on the wall near the Airblades- the water is blown off your hands and soaks the wall the the counter-top. Lovely design.

But there is a trick to getting them to activate... You have to approach them a certain way or they don't do anything but sit there looking evil and angry...

I was drying my hands at one and one of the Interns/Runners - a snot-nosed young lad of 22 or so saw me and asked how it worked...

Snot-nosed Young Lad: "Dang. Those things DO work!? I thought is was just an air freshener or something. I  never saw one working before now."

I guess if there isn't an iPhone control app for it, it's not worth using.

I decided to have a little fun with him.

Yours Truly: "What, you haven't got your chip yet?"
S-NYL: "My what?"
YT: "Your chip. Your RFID chip from NBC."
S-NYL: Puzzled look, like a cocker spaniel when you make a squeaky noise.
YT: "Yeah, you need to go down to Engineering and ask for your chip implant. It activates the hand driers, but the really cool stuff they do is things like giving you access to the VIP sections in different venues- really useful in the Gymnastics and the Swimming venues. It also gives you access to the motorpool to get from site to site... Just get in one of the NBC cars and wave your hand over the reader and tell the driver where you want to go.
There's a bunch of other stuff... It'll be in the brochure they give you when they implant the chip...
S-NYL: "Everybody gets them?"
YT: "Yep...If you know who to ask. Just keep it on the down-low. The less people that know, the better."

I gave him the name of a certain Curmudgeon who hates EVERYBODY, especially the interns...
I'll be interested to see how that shakes out...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

DON'T TOUCH MY FUCKING STUFFS!

Day One:
Venue: OAS (Swimming)
Tech manager is trying to figure out a cable run for some in-truck services back to the TOC.
(TOC = big room full of operations equipment, especially the network switches that provide all the connectivity for each venue.)
In his effort, he pulls my connection out of the main switch...
WHILE WE ARE ON THE FUCKING AIR.
My phone rings...

EG: "Hey- I've lost my connection."
YT: "WHAT?!" (Frantically pinging his switch and computers. Nothing. Oh shit.)
YT: "Find your Truck Guy, trace the blue cable from your switch to the patch block, make sure it's still plugged in. Then, look in the TOC for the cable bundle labeled 'GRAPHICS" make sure #6 is in port 45 on switch 2."
EG: "Find the truck guy. Got it."
YT: "Oh shit..." I grabbed my tool back and headed out the door.
Before I got to the shuttle bus, my phone rang.
EG: "Found it. Someone moved the cable."
YT: "Who? Who did it. What moronic motherhumper in the OAS compound is going to wind up with a 4 pound hammer embedded in his forehead?"
EG: "Don't know, but it's fixed."
YT: "Find out." (click)

Day Two:
Venue: ROA (Gymnastics)
We are live on the air... Phone

RJ: "Hey- I've lost my connection."
YT: "WHAT?!" (Frantically pinging his switch and computers. Nothing. Oh shit.)

Grab my bag and head to the shuttle.
I arrived at the ROA and started to go to the truck, but headed to the TOC instead...
I ran into the Tech Manager...

TM: "I know why you're here... Sorry- my fault. it's fixed now."
YT:  stunned silence
TM: "Yeah, one of the guys in the A-Truck had a problem with his internet connection. Your cable wasn't labeled and I didn't know what it was, so I pulled it."
YT: "Dude, are you fucking kidding me? There are 200 unlabeled cables in here...
You didn't pull them... Why are you pulling mine?"
TM: shrugs shoulders - "I don't know... I just thought it was in the wrong place."

Is it unreasonable for me to expect that while we are ON THE AIR that people don't pull out cables that they don't know what it's attached to?

(Oddly I am reminded of Buckaroo Banzai performing brain surgery:
"You can check your anatomy all you want, and even though there may be normal variation, when it comes right down to it, this far inside the head it all looks the same.
No, no, no, don't tug on that. You never know what it might be attached to."

I grab a roll of neon-yellow gaff tape and a Sharpie.
"IF YOU TOUCH THIS CABLE I WILL KILL YOU"
There... It's labeled.

I stuck my head in the B-Truck. My guy gives a thumbs up.
Ok...
I head to Diving.
Tape. Sharpie.
"TOUCH THIS CABLE AND YOU WILL DIE"
 Done.
I labeled Track & Field too...
Golf will get one as soon as I go back out there...

Morons. I'm surrounded by morons.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

WTF Rio? - Four Wheels Bad, Two Wheels Better - But Very Hazardous

(Caution: Graphic Content Below)

So... Traffic in Rio sucks.
Duh.

Tons of motorcyclists and scooters practice lane splitting and filtering and oddly enough, no one cuts them off or actively tries to kill them for moving faster through the traffic.
(Which is what the legislators try to tell us here in the US.
If you drive down the dividing line between two lanes of traffic, someone will merge into you or intentionally cut you off because it's not fair! Blood in the Streets!")
It works here for the Cariocas- bikers (and scooter..ers) slip through the traffic quickly.

As I sit in traffic, I really wish I could use a bike here...
Thursday we went from the Olympic Park in Barra to Copacabana...
It took nearly 2 hours- for a 42km trip...
Back home that's about a 20 minute trip.
35 tops if it's on surface roads.
I would love to ride a motorcycle here to cut down on travel time.
After a little research on Bike Life in Rio, I've changed my tune.
The scary thing for me is the major inherent danger of riding a bike- Decapitation.

Seriously.

This is a cop bike at the airport- see the antenna looking thing on the handlebars?
It's not for the AM/FM receiver.

During the winter, it's kite season.
And there are two fun pastimes for kids- Kite fighting - like in the book 'The Kite Runner' by Khaled Hosseini - and when the wind is right, dive bombing motorcyclists as they ride by the favelas.

So most bikes are outfitted with a kite string catcher...






The kite fighting is actually more dangerous to motorcyclists-

Every year there are about 500 motorcyclist injured by kite strings.
Two kites engage in battle, one's string is cut and the kite falls, the string trailing behind it, often lying across a heavily-traveled highway.
So- the motorcyclist travels along and catches a kite string across the neck or face.
Ouch.
Ant to make it worse, it's not just regular string- that would be bad enough- they amp it up here in Rio.
The old practice of coating your string with glue and ground glass (referred to as Cerol) has been outlawed...
but there is new product called 'linha Chilena' containing aluminum oxide and quartz power- and it's a shitload stronger than Cerol...

So this is why you need that antenna on the front of your bike:






Jeebus...

I'll just stay in the car... Forget the bike.

As Chef said "Never get out of the boat."...

TBG

WTF Rio? - US Athlete writes: Dear Olympic Media- Please Change The Narrative

-or-
US Olympic Athlete asks media to lighten up, Francis.

Megan Kalmoe- US Olympic Rowing Team-


(Pic by Megan Kalmoe via ESPN)

I will be traveling to Rio as part of one of the most talented and decorated women’s rowing squads in history.  I am incredibly excited for this trip, and this opportunity.  I have worked for ten years to get to this point and will continue to work as hard as I can over the next few weeks to make the most of this very special and unique opportunity.
But all you want to do is talk about shit in the water.
My request to everyone who is fixated on shit in the water:
Stop.
Stop trying to ruin the Olympics for us.

She really makes an excellent point- The media really just wants the Bleeding Edge headlines.
I will grant you that during the Olympics there are so many athlete stories and profiles that you get sick of them, but seriously- right now it is all "ZOMG-Shit in the water! OMG Favela killings!! Corruption! OMG - Unfinished Athlete Village!" ad infinitum.

Megan makes an excellent point... It would be nice if they could dial it back and talk about the positives.
But they don't.
And they won't.
And it's frustrating for the people who have dedicated so much of their lives to their sports on behalf of our country.

Another money quote:

Think of it this way: every time you sensationalize the poor water quality, or try to get athletes to react to Zika, or chastise the Brazilian people for allowing their government to collapse, you’re not just insulting the Brazilian people. You’re also insulting us, your American athletes.  Every time someone asks an athlete who is not a sociologist, epidemiologist, ecologist, microbiologist, or entomologist their position on water quality or some other crappy negative topic, they’re telling us:
“I care more about your non-expert opinion on these issues than I do on your performance in Rio.”  But –But–
No.
There is no but.
You’re not being helpful, and it’s not coming from a good place.
Olympic athletes are experts on one thing, and one thing only: our performance.  And you damn well know it.  Every time you ask us to shift our focus from our specialty during the one time in a four-year cycle that we get the opportunity to share our expertise with the world, it’s an unnecessary distraction that we as competitors do not need and should not have to deal with from people who are supposed to be on our side.
Every time you steer the conversation away from the athletes and competition and on to things that are outside of our control, you’re suggesting to us: “I think you should probably waste some of your energy worrying about this, don’t you?”
That’s not helping anyone to be faster or perform better in Rio, so why would you do it?  It seems a little mean-spirited and like you don’t care if we do well.  Or that you somehow think that we should not enjoy our trip to the Olympics...

Really- you should go read the whole thing.
She eloquently makes many excellent points.

Also check out the profile ESPN did on her.
It's not easy to be an Olympian...Here.

TBG - Live from the IBC.

WTF Rio? - Sunday Evening Edition

 The Interns that work for a certain major broadcast rightsholder in Rio, supposedly to get 'experience' and 'business connection' for their future endeavors, are always a hoot.
For a good number of them it is their first out-of-USA experience, and often their first relatively unsupervised work experience.
They are funny though- they tend to flock together when left to their own devices- especially early and late in the day... At the commissary, for instance.

I was sitting one table over from a large gaggle of Interns who were have a grand time this afternoon... Basically, it came down to the fact that if you pair almost nationality and almost any noun, it could be the name of a (deviant) sexual act.
The Interns were coming up with some winners like Colombian Earmuffs, the Angola Keyboard, and the dreaded Peruvian Salad Fork...

Give it a try yourself-
To help you out, I'll give you a start... Pick one from column A, and one from column B.

Column A                         Column B

Mexican Coffee Cup Brazilian Fuzebox Lebanese Doorknob Afghan Suitcase English Binoculars Finnish Extension Cord Russian Wheelbarrow Eskimo Cell Phone Latvian Bicycle Spanish Sunglasses Morocco Fountain Pen Greek Christmas Tree Canadian Punch bowl Polish Chainsaw Cuban Earphones French Tape Dispenser Argentinian Bath Towel Egyptian Lawnmower Japanese Vacuum Cleaner Mongolian Dish Strainer

For instance-
"Hey, I gave my old lady the Greek wheelbarrow earlier tonight...
Boy, she's gonna be pissed when she wakes up."

Enjoy-



 TBG - - [Exit, pursued by a Swathmore Womyns studies student]

Don't Hit Me...

Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words in a sentence with names of musical instruments quite often goes undetected.

Just sayin'...

TBG - - [Exit - Pursued by a gerund]

Hey KX59, WTF?

If you do a search on Teh Google for "Florida Man", you usually get some pretty entertaining results.
It looks like, however, Houston is trying to give Florida a run for the money...

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

I Have A Filthy Mind

...no surprise there, eh?

But...seriously, what did YOU think it was when you first saw it?

(Sir Mix-A-Lot is in negotiations, I hear...)

Another angle...not quite so prevocative.

TBG - my anaconda don't want none, Hun.

Flirting & Sexual Harassment - Definitions Please

In the local news, on of the Big Bash cricket players was twigged for an interview with a local SportsNewsHottie...

“I wanted to come and have an interview with you as well.
That’s the reason why I’m here, just to see your eyes for the first time. It’s nice so. Hopefully we can win this game and have a drink after. Don’t blush, baby.”

She recovered, got the interview back on track and aside from from snickering from the other commentators, but it wasn't any near as bad as Joe Namath and his drunken hitting on Suzy Kolber in 2003...
Granted- live TV and all that. So his timing was off. BFHD.

Obviously, all the blue hairs and feminists got their knickers in a bunch regarding this...
But geez- that's pretty tame, all things considered.
He apologized, she accepted - then the PC Police went crazy- he got fined $10,000AUD
(What's that- $25 USD?)  and they are talking suspension/firing.
For telling her she was cute and asking her out for drink?
Please.
All things being equal, if you look at female Aussie Talking Heads, every damned one is a looker. They don't hire the 5s, only 8-10s. So- to be sure they are hired for their (sex) appeal. [The male ATH? I am not qualified to judge such things...] But in as much as they are hired with such an attribute, what the fck do they expect?

Cpould someone PLEASE draw the line where banter / harmless flirting and normal male-female interactions become sexual harassment and become harmful?



TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Overheard on the Balcony

"Is... That... a Bobcat?"

"Where?"

"On the roof of that building."

"I wonder how they got that bastard up there."

"Well, having seen how they do stuff here, and know a little about local hardware limitations, I doubt they used the building elevator."
"Crane?"
"Maybe..."
"Helicopter?"
"Highly unlikely... They probably some thing like a catapult or maybe a trebuchet."

After looking thoughtfully at it for a minute:
"Wonder how they'll get it down."
"They won't. Looks like they are demoing the building out from under it."


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Why Would You Do That To Your Mother?

So, following up on an overheard conversation last night in the local purveyor of Adult Spirits...

There were a couple twenty-somethings -male and female- at the bar along with a line of mixed geographicals -visitors and locals.
I didn't hear the genesis of the exchange, but one of the older women at the bar said something to one of the kids - obviously something uber-cool and 'winning', to which the 20-ish child replied "Yeah! Ohhh... Will you be my mom?" to much laughter...

I reflected inwardly how 1) I've heard this before, (and after doing a bit of research it's becoming commonplace) and 2) it is, in my not-so-humble-opinion, pretty damned insulting, especially in proximity to Mother's Day. Or even not close to Mother's Day...

So- your mom isn't cool enough to do shots with you, or won't let you do something risky, morally ambiguous, or perhaps illegal, so you'd like to trade up to someone who will?
Fuck you, you little shit. Don't second guess your mom...
Someday you may be in a position that you will have to guide a small person to the age of maturity and will have to analyze the 10,000 actions and decisions that become the basis of someone's existence and code of behavioral ethics. It's not an easy job- Do you think it's easy to raise a kid?
Fortunately Motherhood usually comes with a huge dollop of self-delusion...
Remember your Heinlein:

"Delusions are often functional. A mother’s opinions about her children’s beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth."

As I indicated, I did a moment's research and found a way too many examples -
A fairly good article on mom, #mom and momming especially in regards to celebrity momming can be found here.

And if you want to be really disgusted, check out the #mom or "will you be my mom" hashtag on Twitter.  And the opposite side is probably just as disturbing with "will you be my daughter".

(Yes, I have a sense of humor, and I understand sarcasm and satire, but Jeebus on a jumped-up skateboard, what the actual fuck is wrong with people?)


TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Mistaken Identity - California Style

I'm just barely on the safe side of the San Andreas Fault this week...

(But I still wouldn't want to be here when it lets go...
It's going to be spectacular... But I want to see it from a distance, not from my window.)


I'm at The Olympic Club, working the Men's Amateur 4-Ball tournament for Fox and the USGA. Fun fun fun.
(For some reason, that logo reminds me of the Indy 500 or the Detroit Redwings... But I digress.)

One interesting thing is listening to people that reside here in Kalifornia-
My previous posting (LeftCoast and Redistribution) was an overheard conversation on the airplane on the way out here. It was tempting to kick open the door and have the idjits walk home from 36000 feet, but alas, that would get me talked about, so I suppressed the urge.

Today's 'WTF?' conversation was on the bus heading to the course at 5:00AM...
(Yes, Bus. No parking at the course, so I park and shuttle in with the volunteers.)

A couple Volunteers, an older retired man & wife were sitting behind me... they are obviously Not From Around Here.
We are taking the shuttle bus in from Westlake Park in Daly City.
These folks are big golf fans- and I guess they think the world is very golf-centric.

Old Woman: "We're in Daly City California... Isn't that nice?"
Old Man: "What's nice?"
OW: "They named this place for John Daly."
(The bus is driving down John Daly Boulevard...)
OW: "Must have been before he really let himself go..."
OM: "Maybe he was born here or something..."
TBG: *facepalm*

He's a nice guy and all, but how can you possibly think they'd name a city after him?

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Uh... I.. Um... I Just Don't Know....

Martin Gardner (32), who had been wearing his collection of wristbands from the music festivals he has visited, lost his arm below the elbow during a standard artificial insemination procedure, in which a number of his wristbands became entangled in a horse’s vagina.

Really?
No, not really- satire, but really well done satire.

TBG - - ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Are You F-ing Kidding me?

From the NY Post...

NYPD find arsenal after busting man who ‘talked about killing cops’

An arsenal?


One pistol and a shotgun are an arsenal?

Wow.
Talk about clickbait/sensationalism...


TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

So... Where Were We?

Oh yeah-
United Airlines was bending me over the back of the couch and having it's way with me, in a very horrid and painful manner.
Again.

I made my connection in Nooowark, but just barely.

For the long flight I did have the seat next to me empty, so that was a small victory.
Not a lot of sleep though.

On the ground in Shanghai things got interesting.


 Traffic was just as bad as it always has been...
At least my driver didn't hit anyone on the way to the hotel this time.

Once ensconced in my temporary domicile, it was only 2 O'clock in the afternoon-
And after long experience I knew that getting comfortable and lounging would lead to sleep, and that was the recipe for disaster.

I needed to fill the larder.

One thing about China, you can find some familiar but different items... A veritable cornucopia of Spam varietals for instance... And no.
Didn't get any of them. But I was tempted.

Another familiar-but-not-so-familiar variation:
The tried-and-true XXX Acai Vitamin Water. Love this stuff. I grabbed a taxi and headed toward Shinesun Center, the replacement for the old CyberMart on Huaihai Road.
I got a little sidetracked and found an interesting side market near by...
I was a little puzzled by these tiny ceramic bowls.
Serving dishes for Barbie dim sum?
No... This dude was working on an additional accessory for the same sport/pastime/hobby.
He's carving out these dog-dish sized containers made from semi-soft terracotta. They are the homes and food dishes for Chinese fighting crickets.
(Sorry about the crap focus on my photos- had a hard time keeping the phone steady.)  
Seriuosly- some of these bastards are the size of your thumb.

Here's one in his natural environment. 

The place was creeping me out- I'm heading back to the tech market.
If you want to know more about the sport of Chinese Fighting Crickets, go here.


But first- wanna buy a bag of fish?

Seriously- bags of fish.

Back at the tech market I was treated to a demo of the latest must-have gadget for the Round Eye- Blue lasers.
Here the girl running this kiosk is lighting a cigarette with one. Oh yes, I gotta have me one of these.
I picked one up, along with some other sundry crap like bluetooth enabled selfie sticks and  some other goodies, then headed out for an early dinner.

There was a restaurant nearby-
Let's see what's on the menu:
 
Yeah, a great big NOPE on that.


I guess if you're looking for for some spicy ass, this would be your restaurant.

Me, not so much.
I'll take the Spam instead- I headed back to my hotel. There's a Cantonese restaurant nearby. Porkbelly and dumplings are on menu tonight.

So much for my first afternoon in Shanghai-

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Arena Technology

No wonder arena hardware is always FUBAR...


Dark Matter?
One of these days, the clock will hit zero and the entire city of Chicago is going to collapse into a black hole.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

WTF?

Seen on Racine St in Chicago.

No sign or anything...

But I did find out what it was.
BMT
TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Um, Yeah, I Guess...

From our "Don't spend too much time thinking about it" Department:



TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE

Welcome to the Party, Y'all

Re:  Seat reclining on flights, either long or short.

Really, I have nothing to add, except to relate how I dealt with it recently...

(And for the four Constant Readers that keep emailing me "Was it you?" emails.
No. And it never will be. I'll suffer through someone else being an ass before I screw up everyone else's travel plans.)

On a recent flight from Austin TX to JFK, I had the displeasure of being seated behind an old asshat, get-off-my-lawn, nasty curmudgeon. The flight was full- and I (of course) was unable to get a bulkhead seat.
Nothing was right with this guy... He bitched because his wife wasn't sitting next to him, he complained about having to put his bags under the seat in front of him, he complained because it was too cold on the plane. - All items that he could have avoided- pre-select your seats when you book your tickets, get on when your section is called- not at thte last second, and ferchrissake- we're in Texas in the summer- they have to crank the AC while the door is open waiting for you, dumbass.

About30 minutes into the flight, the Curmudgeon decided to lay his seat down as far as he could... Which is not far, since my knees were holding the seat up...
So he starts banging the seat against my knees.

Yours Truly: "Hey- you're breaking my kneecaps."
Curmudgeon: "Well, I wanna lean my seat back!"
YT: "There is nowhere to lean back to. Please stop doing that."
C: "You can just move your knees! This is my seat and I'll sit in it any way I want."
YT: ""

His wife just shut up- she wasn't getting involved.
He rang for the Flight Attendant (who had already had enough of his shit).-

C: "Thatguy behind me won't let me recline!"
FA: (To me) "Sir, are you using a device to block the seat from reclining?"
YT: "No... Not unless you count my knees as a 'device'."
She had a look- seeing there was zero inches between the seat and my knees.
FA (to the Curmudgeon): "Sir- he's not using a device to block your seat. That's his knees you are banging your seat against."

Curmudgeon's position was that it was his seat, to be used in any way he saw fit.
The FA said that if there was a device being used (ie KneeDefender) the Captain would come back and confiscate it. But since it was just a physical issue, he'd have to deal with it.
He pushed and pressed and banged away- and finally got a couple inches of recline, mostly by reducing my patellas to a fine powder.

Ok...

You want to play fuck-fuck, we can play fuck fuck.
 I took my overhead AC nozzle, opened it full and swiveled it until it pointed it at the top of his head.

When to cold air hit his bald noggin he jumped up and turned around.

Curmudgeon: "What the hell are you doing!?"
YT: "It's my AC nozzle. I can use it whatever way I want."

He buzzes for the FA again.
The FA says there is nothing she can do- it's my nozzle and I can use it any way I want.
He asked for a blanket and the FA turned him down. She said that blankets were only for the Business class passengers and they'd all already been distributed.

He fumed and fussed- his wife came up with a scarf he tried to cover his head with...

After about 30 minutes later he gave up.
He lifted his seat to almost full upright- then glared at me, then at the AC vent.
I reached up and cranked it back closed and pointed it to me...

He settled back down muttering to himself.

The capper was as the flight ended and I got up to get my bag from the overhead-
the guy was all of 5'2"- I looked down at him with my best "I'd crush you like an insect but I don't have time for the paperwork." glare...
He quickly looked away, busying himself with important post-flight activities in the seat pocket in front of him.
I could hear his wife-"I didn't know he was so big!" she whispered to him..
I supressed the urge to throw a "That's what she said" on her...
The FA gave me a nice smile and wink as I got off the plane.

I hope it was sincere- For all I know she was tired of my shit too...

The lesson of the story- United will confiscate Knee Defenders from you.
Or throw you off the plane.

TBG- ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒE