nightshade dreams

in which our plucky heroine wishes for tomatoes...

This all started earlier today during a conversation with my little sister, who described the most delicious (and currently impractical because it needs late summer produce) salad, combining chopped tomato, fresh corn kernels, arugula, and in my case feta (in her case bleu) cheese and a nice baslamic vinagrette. I began to crave tomato.

This turned into a terrible yearning to go to the garden center, and instead of giving in, I bought two tomato plants online from Fang (a local independent pet food and supply store that also has a small garden center) and walked my bike the four blocks over there, and picked them up curbside outdoors while maintaining distance protocol. No one I saw on the street were wearing masks. This makes me nuts. Wearing my mask, and my safety goggles, and my bike helmet was painful (as you can see, my poor face is terribly bruised), but only needed to get there and back home.  Fang is really making what I consider a very good attempt at doing this well, the garden clerk was both properly masked and entirely willing to simply set the plants down, move away, and let me pick them up and wedge them into my bike baskets. It has to be difficult to so turn the common courtesy rules on their head, for everyone.

Now I am going to read up about what tomatoes need, so I can fix up the big pots that used to have my figs in them, and plant the tomatoes tomorrow. Now (with luck) I will have some tomatoes this summer. It is almost 80 on my front porch right now. Hopefully Mr Robertson will come over here Saturday and use the weed whacker to cut back the tall grass in the back yard. I will feed him tea, and homemade banana bread, from a safe distance.

※※※

May SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	collage	bird netting peas	-
2	strawberry rhubarb sauce	harvest pea greens	-
3	x	harvest sunflower greens	-
4	x	x	-
5	x	x	-
6	x	x	-
7	x	x	-
8	x	x	x
9	x	x	x
10	x	x	x
11	x	x	x
12	x	x	x
13	x	x	x
14	x	x	x
15	x	x	x

today's gratitude - okay, so I am definitely calling the microgreens a success... just cut up some of the pea greens, and added some of the sunflower greens, plus the last of my care package cucumber and with a little tahini/goddess dressing, it made a very nice salad indeed! I have been wanting salad for almost two months now...

Monday musings and media

in which our plucky heroine thinks more long thoughts...

This video essay touched my heart:

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EBT is difficult to stretch for a whole month, (much more so for the repeated reductions in the last few years to the monthly allotments.) Fortunately I know how to cook, and have a kitchen and food storage. I decided this weekend, when my EBT ran out till the fifth of next month, to try making do with food on hand, as a way of working with my stored and preserved food, to both practice austerity (useful in case of emergencies) and to use up some of the pantry stores to make room for this years new preserving projects. There will likely be some shifts in my daily meals, but it will be educational.

※※※

January SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	card for Bera	better light in workroom	bag to Goodwill
2	Awesome Sauce	improve dotted neckline	paper recycling
3	horses blouse	button replaced	bag to Goodwill
4	Wanda ring	attach bench pin	bag to Goodwill
5	charter #1	new turtleneck neckline	-
6	Barbara mitts	x	x
7	wool capelet	x	x
8	wontons	x	x
9	x	x	x
10	x	x	x
11	x	x	x
12	x	x	x
13	x	x	x
14	x	x	x
15	x	x	x

today's gratitude - I am grateful for Duchess D's "Buy Nothing" FB group, where recently someone was giving away a funky old dress form. It will eventually show up here at Acorn Cottage, and once I can get it cleaned up and repaired, it will make a great prop for photographing my sewing projects! I was just commenting online earlier this month about how I wished I had a dress form...

Monday musings and music....

in which our plucky heroine is awed by courage...

Here at what feels like the end of the Anthropocene it is difficult to maintain any equanimity. Troubles large and small beset me, and many people I know, and even more people I do not know. Often I think of how this future has been rolling in slowly and inexorably for as many decades as I have had awareness to see it, even longer than that of course, but I often feel like someone on the edge of the Great Molasses Disaster, stuck in place as the hot tide rises to unbearable heat

※※※

And yet, in the face of all this uncertainty, I persist in makerie, I resist the impulse to give up, and I cheer those who bravely do even more than I can... Dear friends are going to have a baby early this Autumn. Deeply wanted, and to be cherished by not only the immediate family, but by our whole community, which has very few children compared to the number of adults. I live too far away to be an immediate part of their lives, but as an auntie on the fringes, I am putting together handmade goodness to add my own small prayers and wishes for the child that is coming.

※※※

Back in June I started on a handknit rainbow octopus baby rattle, which I finally finished this weekend. I have used this pattern before to make a baby toy, and this time, instead of a jingle bell inside a film can (which sounds rather like a spray paint can when shaken) I used the chime ball that was a gift from an old sweetheart, which makes a much gentler pleasant sound, wrapped inside the stuffing so as to be secure and safe. Of course, for a baby toy, the legs do NOT get pipe cleaners, but they stitch up into wiggly shapes even without the extra help, and eight tentacles give lots of things for babies to grip!

※※※

Next up were some tiny rainbow bootees, because autumn babies need warm feet! I was unsure if continuing on with this theme would be a good idea, but when I asked Ariadne if a rainbow baby sweater would be too much, she responded "there is no such thing as too much rainbow"... indeed, my plan has been to create useful and colorful gifts that do not reference the current obsession with gendered baby gear, but celebrate the vivid reality of our outer and inner worlds.

※※※

The current knitting project is an Elizabeth Zimmerman "Baby Surprise Jacket" in the same rainbow wool as the bootees. I love the colors of the yarn.

It is very slow going on this project… the knitting itself is not difficult, but the yarn, which I've never worked with before, is a challenge. It is very soft and smooth, feels more like cotton than wool, which will be really lovely for a baby sweater. OTOH, it is very splitty to knit with, which given that I needed to go to size 2 needles to get gauge, means that I cannot simply knit on, but need to pay careful attention to every stitch. Using it as an opportunity to focus attention on good wishes for the child coming to my dear friends, rather like a fairy godmother would do…

Thanks to Sharon Rose for lending me the wee size 2 long circular needle! (and the EZ book with the instructions so I don't have to keep borrowing the book from the library)

※※※

July SMART goals (x=extra)

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	20 enamels for Wastekeep	apron dress	yard waste bin
2	tiny peach enamel	workbench refurbish	bag to Goodwill
3	tiny linen bag	closet cleared left	bag to Goodwill
4	octopus rattle	x	x
5	rainbow booties	x	x
6	x	x	x
7	x	x	x
8	x	x	x
9	x	x	x
10	x	x	x
11	x	x	x
12	x	x	x
13	x	x	x
14	x	x	x
15	x	x	x

Thursday thoughts - on goal setting

in which our plucky heroine looks again towards the beginning of a new year...

My ongoing goal-setting seems to be becoming gradually more realistic, while my personal motto has solidly taken the form of "incremental progress is still progress". I have been using the concept of SMART* goals for the last three years, in combination with this blog as a way of keeping track.

In the last three years I have made significant progress in making things, (mostly for others, but some for myself as well) in assorted mending and repair of my home and surroundings, and in my decluttering of Acorn Cottage... Because this format works for me, I intend to continue using this method of recordkeeping indefinitely. Stay tuned for the Great Big Chart reveal tomorrow, of all that was accomplished in 2016...

My goals for 2017, in no particular order:

• Finally sew enough clothing to meet my personal goal of functional seasonal wardrobes, to end up with a weeksworth of clothing for summertime and layers for the colder seasons. Being an active participant in online sewing challenges like SWAP 2016 and the seasonal 6PACs will help keep me motivated.
• Finish the major decluttering of Acorn Cottage, and organise the supplies, tools, and materials of daily life. I've been gradually working on this project for the last three years, with the goal of having a living space that allows me to focus on vocational and avocational actions instead of on finding lost things
• Teach at least one artisanry* workshop every month. As I will never be able to return to housecleaning as my primary income, moving forward in a different direction of sharing my knowledge and skills with others is my goal
  *enameling, metalwork, stitchery, or handicraft
• Outside the house improvements: improve the chicken habitat here at Acorn Cottage, create yard tool storage, add at least one or more garden beds for vegetable growing, and set up the carport as an outdoor room...
• Finally paint at least one room in the interior of the house other colors than "former owner white" once the weather is warm enough for opening the windows
• Create some personal artwork (possibly suitable for gallery showing), in at least one of the techniques that I enjoy
• Begin finding ways to work towards a more kindly world with justice and options for all people
• Continue to care well for my body, without which none of these goals are possible or relevant!

*SMART =  Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely (SMART) goals

a nice new bed and other delights

in which our plucky heroine works with friends...

...Mr Robertson and Heather are mighty... you should see how much better my yard looks!

The agenda for today was yardwork, since the weather is unseasonably warm and dry, which causes the grass to grow like crazy. While I am gradually covering the backyard with mulch, in preparation for eventual garden beds (and because I loathe mowing) the front yard, and about half the backyard are still open grazing. Part of the backyard will hopefully soon be home to three young hens, so some grassy areas will be all to the good, but long grass scares chooks, it might be hiding tigers...

...the back yard after weed whacking, Mr Robertson did yeoman service and spent several hours returning the jungle to a more easy to traverse landscape... the old henhouse is visible near the fence.

I tackled part most of the front yard with the new-to-me non-electric reel mower. A little help from Mr Robertson and the weed whacker took care of the edges and the really tall grass patches. It was necessary to not only move the brush pile, (now on the driveway next to the yard waste bin, and the compost bin instead of the middle of the lawn, which Heather was very willing to help with. I was impressed with how well the mower worked on my flimsy lawn, once we raked up all the twigs, plus, exercise instead of higher electric bill. Haven't tried the back yard yet, it is always a lot more dense because of years of free range hens in the past.

This will, in time, become a garden bed for asparagus and possibly one or two mini fruit trees. The entire side yard bed has been full of weed block and grass, now half is full of potential.

Heather pulled all the sod, removed all of the weed block plastic, and then we layered cardboard, wood chip mulch, and then the sod, upside down... over time, and with more compost layered, it will hopefully become a good growing spot. this is the part of my yard that faces south and gets good sunlight

:::

April SMART goals

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	mobieus apron	strawberries planted	bin of twigs
2	sewing tools necklace	front yard mowed	bin of twigs
3	sewing tools shadowbox	backyard mowed	bin of twigs
4	heart in hand necklace	side yard mowed	weedblock fabric
5	manyhands shadowbox	new garden bed	-
6	-	feral roses tied up	-
7	-	-	-
8	-	-	-
9	-	-	-
10	-	-	-
11	-	-	-
12	-	-	-
13	-	-	-
14	-	-	-
15	-	-	-

well begun but not half done

in which our plucky heroine makes great progress...

One of my major goals this year is to have my entire house functional and organised, not full of random things in boxes, but instead supporting my life in a way that allows access to all the tools, supplies, and information that I have. When there are actual useful "homes" for stuff, I am good about putting it away. For the last two months, there has been a successful attempt to do battle with the former Mt Messmore aka the large workroom/studio, thanks to the help of friends, in particular Kate Comstock, for her ongoing sixteen hours of assistance and encouragement...

So this is how things are looking now... Standing in the doorway from the kitchen, looking west. The floor is clear and the room is orderly, and there is more room for teaching workshops and working with individual students, as well as working on commissioned pieces and my own personal artwork

The righthand image shows what we started with... same viewpoint looking west. There are all sorts of things stored here because this is the only indoor place with enough space for them. I do metalwork and enameling here, and messy textile arts, as well as all sorts of home repair projects. The room is about 11 x 20? and was, at one time, a single car garage. The shelves on the far wall on either side of the window, intended to hold boxes of craft supplies, were emptied in 2012 to safely store fabric away from temporary feline housemates, which left my other supplies scattered all over the house in unorganised splendor.

:::

This is the south wall of the workroom. It is now possible to walk directly up to the storage shelves and access supplies. There will eventually be a narrow standing workbench below the long shelf visible here. I will be adding tie downs for the lumber and wood bits stored behind the ironing board (which I forgot to return to the back bedroom before taking this picture!)

Prior to beginning the organising/decluttering project, the south wall was a mass mess of random lumber and things almost but not quite at the angle of repose, which made me crazy! and not in a good way

:::

The southwest corner of the workroom with my small workbench and the enamel storage shelves. This probably has always been the best organised part of the workroom, because I have several homemade shelves that are sized to fit my enamel jars... the enamels are all visible, in color order, and the shelving is not plastic, but is wooden and attractive to my eyes... also cheap... I made these from empty drawers from the Rebuilding Center, and bits of lathing, and old yardsticks... aesthetically and visually and functionally they make me happy.

The workbench remains clear until projects happen, as there are places behind and to the side to store equipment and supplies. I plan to store "kits" of projects in process in the small drawers to the right, and am always keeping my eyes open for other small wooden drawers of useful holding (The silvery stuff in the lower right corner is mylar bubblepak, to cover the west-facing window when the sun hits it in summer, because the glare and heat are so not helpful)

Formerly, while the enamel storage itself worked well, my small personal workbench though, was a mess, somewhat visible at the right of the picture. I usually cleared away a small space in the middle of it to actually work. Compare that to how the workbench looks now...

:::

Between the workroom and the back door is this space for my wagon and bicycle to live, as well as room for some garden and housey tools and supplies - the idea is to have needful things within easy reach. There is still much to be done to improve this room: there are many small individual boxes on the shelves that need to be sorted through and their contents either placed in a proper home or sent on to Goodwill or recycling; there need to be one or two better adjustable office chairs acquired, the pantry and laundry area need attention (as they often do); a pegboard for hand tools needs added to the wall above the bicycle area; the standing workbench shelf needs to be built; and someday, eventually, the other two walls will be painted to match the west wall...

:::

July SMART goal challenge

#	THINGS MADE	THINGS FIXED	THINGS GONE
1	1st wool cardweaving	hem on red silk gown	bag to paper recycling
2	blue Pel Laurel	green undergown mended	bag to paper recycling
3	*	bicycle area cleared	bag to paper recycling
4	*	*	bag to Goodwill
5	*	*	bag to Goodwill
6	*	*	bag to Goodwill
7	*	*	cardboard recycled
8	----------	*	cardboard recycled
9	----------	*	bag to Goodwill
10	----------	----------	*
11	----------	----------	*
12	----------	----------	*

:::

so, as Suzette Hayden Elgin says, "anything you feed will grow"... I have been putting attention into decluttering and discarding, so that column in my chart is being fed pretty well, and I will go into August almost caught up on my SMART goals for the year (in that section) The Things Made and the Things Fixed groups though, are weak, especially the Things Fixed... must make an effort there, as I really do want to end up in December with an entirely full chart to meet my Rising 60 challenge. Somehow, fixing things is actually more difficult than making things. The good news is that some friends of mine want to swap sewing for yardwork and honey-do chores, so I may catch up in the next few months... August is looking hopeful, as there are both good social events scheduled and some useful work already lined up.

ravenwing shawl

in which our plucky heroine looks on the dark bright side, and talks a bit about design decisions...

another significant doctor appointment coming up, and rather than dwell on that, instead think about how it was a spring day warm enough to be able to wear the just finished Ravenwing Shawl.

This project started out as a design experiment, adapting a favorite simple texture to a new shape, using a basic recipe found in an online "cheat sheet". Great success, the heart-crescent shawl really wants to stay put around your shoulders, which is an excellent characteristic. I suspect that most future shawl knitting will use this basic recipe, but then my personal preference is currently strongly in the shawl rather than scarf camp.

I then went a little over the edge and decided on adding a knitted beaded twisted fringe as the border. Why? Tosh Vintage is a very smooth multi-ply yarn with exquisite colors and a somewhat polished appearance, at least compared to my beloved Noro Kureyon, which is far more rustic. My favorite Noro shawlette has a border of knitted long picots, which give a sort of rough tentacular fringe effect, for Ravenwing, something more refined seemed appropriate. The tendrils from Cat Bordhi would do nicely, and even better if they were tipped with beads...

You'd think that in such a large and crafty city, that finding suitable beads would be easy. Nope. So often, when inspiration strikes, the specific materials seen in the mindseye are not seen in the shops. Even a field trip to the vast warehouse of Shipwreck Beads outside Olympia did not provide the exact beads I envisioned, but they did have some matte black glass beads that would work. Oh my word, the border took almost as long to knit as the body of the shawl, as each individual fringe had to have three glass beads picked up with the most tiny crochet hook, slipped onto the yarn loop before twisting, plying and then knitting on... didn't bother to actually count, but there were somewhere between 200 and 300 beads used.

The results make me very happy indeed. The beaded border adds a fair bit of weight to the edge, the fringe hangs nicely because of the beads (some wool yarn fringes can tangle up in an unbecoming fashion) and the rich subtle colors of the yarn is set off by the grey/black border. I call this a win.

~ ~ ~≈:::≈~ ~ ~

Just in case you need another thing to do with knitting needles, check out this demonstration:

~ ~ ~≈:::≈~ ~ ~

If all goes well in the land of med-fu, and my restrictions are lifted, there will be a modest return to work happening. Some marmalade made from some of the last of the organic blood oranges, currently sitting in the fridge, is scheduled for this week as well, it would be a very sad year if no marmalade was made at all. There may be some experimental jam bars happening too, suitable for long distance transport; I have promised G that homemade cookies will prove to be a good substitute for truck stop sweets, a promise he is looking forward to collecting on... here's hoping that my energy proves up to the tasks set for the week!

Friday fragments

Oh dear, somehow it has become marmalade season, and I've not yet done any preserving! Will there be time to make up a batch or two in the next week and a half? Well maybe, if I spend less time online. It would be a sad thing indeed to go into 2012 with no marmalade in the pantry...

≈:::≈

New Seasons had smoked ham shanks on sale after New Years Day for 99¢/lb, which is astonishingly excellent for local pork processed in house. They were nice huge meaty pieces too! For under four dollars, there are seven half shank pieces in the freezer, some bone-in and some boneless, and the eighth piece made crockpot split peas soup... There will be a lot more soup in my kitchen this winter, and this will help keep it flavorful.

≈:::≈

I want to try something that I read recently in Cooks Magazine - they wrote that if you are making hummus, and want it to be nice and smooth, do not chill the garbanzos. Apparently it also works if you warm up canned garbanzos, some kitchen experimentation is called for...

≈:::≈

I splurged just a tiny bit today, (boy howdy it is super easy to order things online, good thing I have mighty strong will power, or I could get in a lot of trouble) Ordered two of my favorite Jesse Colin Young CD's: "Lightshine" and "Song for Juli", and Miyazaki's "Porco Rosso". I'll be saving them for when I am a convalescent. Back in the day, those albums were some of my favorite coming down music; Porco Rosso has been on my (very)short list of "want to own" movies for a really long time. Other than this, I am starting to put together small baskets of crafty goodness to keep boredom at bay, knitting and embroidery and handwork oh my...

≈:::≈

Well, back to sorting and organising...

^-.-^\___}}
with one ear up,
dog circles round,
ready to sleep

T-minus 13 days

back to work

in which our plucky heroine heads back to the studio, hoping to make at least one persons 12th Night a happy one...

Not certain how much work will be able to fit into the time between now and the next bend in the path, but will be doing what I can. The studio has been sadly neglected for the last segment, and I am certain that by letting my hands back to work, that my heart will also find more peace. After all, the work of my hands is my legacy to the bright world, and the children that will live when I am long gone to dust. I so love to see the work of our ancestors, the glass colors still so bright, and the marks of those distant folks still visible in their makings; I like to think that the small things that come from my workroom may someday brighten the life of a future artisan.

≈:::≈


The Boars Head Carol - Steeleye Span

Grace is not my middle name

In the shadow world, I look tall. I am struggling to be at peace with the need to have surgical investigation, and my terror of deep anaesthesia. G wrote an amazing essay, ".....Waiting Patiently - a dog's tale"; I read it with tears running down my face, and remembered that Her Own Darling Self is waiting and watching out for me on the otherside, and that gives me an anchor, should they send me into the scarey dark alone, which is likely.

Today I began to wonder how much of my fear is being attached to being scared; while I do not have the happy confident faith in a benign reality that some do, it does seem like it could possible to surrender to necessity with a modicum of grace. I'll always be an information-gathering, suspicious/aware kind of gal, resistant to being pushed; yet somewhere somehow is a pathway to be found. (no way around this but through) This is not the road I looked for, but it is the one I am on. You'd think, after all these decades I'd have made peace with that as well, since that is, in a way, the yang to the yin of my choosing to build a life that makes sense to me, rather than the one that was prescribed....

≈ : ♥ : ≈

In more exterior news, some progress has been happening around the homeplace.

Meeting with the hand surgeon today, and my recovery has progressed far enough to allow a return to my former regularly scheduled work; this is a happy thing indeed, for all that I will miss the freedom to be social at will. Soon there will be time in the workroom, and time with the torch and the kiln, and sketches on the table (not to mention all the other jobs that were left undone these months both here and in other peoples houses) This is coming just in time, as the year turns towards wintertime, and the air gets colder both outdoors and inside, having some income again will be welcome indeed. Not to mention sewing and knitting and garden work in what some folks know as free time...

Sunday last, a trip to the King Farmer's Market, almost the last one for the year of the local markets. Not a lot came home with me, but a few pounds of local cornmeal, destined for Sister Gigi's Sweet Corn Cakes now and again, and a bag of tomatillos, destined to be turned into salsa verde and canned in small jars, to go with said corn cakes...

Tired I am of the mismatched and scant; there will be new curtains for the living room this winter. Ikea yielded up three indigo bedspreads, that are thicker than the current linen, with a textured almost handwoven look. When cut and hemmed to size, will be a much better choice. Not sure if there is fabric here suitable to line them with, but should some turn up at some point, 'twill be easy enough to add.

≈ : ♥ : ≈

/^-.-^\___}}
dog is uneasy,
looking at the door

backyard garden planning

I'd mentioned that there is an entirely new plan for turning the backyard into a more useful space. While there were some large raised beds a few years ago, they were poorly placed, and also too wide for me to easily reach across. So I took them down, intending to reconfigure the garden into a better arrangement, and then the distractions of life intervened. The only current "hardscape" is the somewhat ratty garden shed, (annoyingly located in the very best growing spot, that gets almost all day sunshine), and what I persist in calling the "stupid deck" a 10 x 20 unshaded wooden expanse that has no real use...

This is how I had been intending to eventually organise the backyard, rather a lot of small easily-reached square raised beds, for growing veggies; with the possibility of expanding them into longer beds by filling in the spaces between. but it is a design with a whole lot of squares and angles, and not terribly interesting as landscape.

former backyard plan

For the last year or two, the yard has consisted of primarily lumpy weed-covered hillocky bits, interspersed with random bits of salvaged fencing, abandoned garden stakes; all in all the backyard has been looking more like a rubbish tip than anything else. The hens do not mind, it is a giant chicken playground; they have their various favored foraging areas, and have created a hen "spa" underneath the arborvitae, with scooped out dust bathing places, and shelter from both rain and hot sunshine (assuming we get some this year!) But as my friend Sharon pointed out, I can certainly put the Speckeldy Sisters to work for me, they will scratch up and fertilise any space that I enclose them on.

The new plan is to create garden beds and spaces that have more organic shapes to them, and to work to integrate the existing structure and soften it, so that the yard will eventually have a sense of flow to it, becoming beautiful to look at and walk about in, as well as provide useful foodstuff for increased resilience. It should be no more work to create curved garden beds than square ones, and hopefully I can source free wood chips to use as pathway mulch. This is probably at least a five year plan, but it looks much more appealing than my original idea...

Today I moved a bunch of the old fencing scraps to start making a new henyard, the plan is to let the chooks kill off the grass where the future backyard garden beds will be . Let them run all this year, then next spring, build the new beds and plant, with all the nicely enriched soil. Will be turning the chicken coop around this coming weekend, with help from Crafternoon friends (the dang thing is heavy) so as to complete the semi-circular enclosure.

The long range plan:

The former chicken yard has rich soil which should be ideal for an asparagus bed, and a bed for annual herbs like basil and cilantro. At least one more fruit tree, an Italian prune plum, and S says that strawberries can be growing underneath, at least 'till the tree gets big enough to cast shade. The hens will be clearing the space off the back deck, which will eventually become a kind of sun-and-rays shaped garden, with the central bed for perennial herbs and flowers, and the rays alternating annual veggies and cover crops.

The chickens will eventually get a henyard that is the perimeter of the yard, allowing them access to their favored corner hangout, but keeping the garden protected from their depredations. Another exciting idea is to pull off the front of the garden shed, with it's horrible flakeboard double doors, and re-frame the front for a single central front door, a side front window (oooo daylight in the shed!) and on the other side, an interior hen coop. That way it will be very secure, protected from the weather, and easy to clean; there will still be a sliding hen door and ramp, but into the perimeter henyard.

Have not yet figured out how, but would like to use at least part of the deck for clothesline space, preferably in a relatively frugal fashion. The east edge of the deck would be a great place for flowers, including favorite edible ones. If I put up my canvas sunshade it will create a sheltered-from-sunshine place to actually sit and enjoy the yard, watch the silly hens and suchlike.

It will be interesting to see how these ideas take form over time....

overalls

Today is Crafternoon, and I'll be changing my clothing after mornings prep and errands (why do I always forget to pick up some tea milk?), but for a change I am wearing my only trousers, this aged pair of overalls... Worn over black velour leggings, and a fun MunkiMunki print knit top, with a handknit light blue wool scarf. Add a heavy sweater, and swap out my handknit hat for a bike helmet, and I'll be ready to run to the grocery store.

Why the overalls this morning? It is dry enough for bike-riding, but not warm enough for one layer on my legs to be warm enough. The jumper will have to wait till errands are finished. After my several days of woods-walking last month, I decided that new overalls are necessary; that will be the next sewing-for-me project, taking a pattern from these and stitching up some new ones.

~ ~ ~≈:::≈~ ~ ~

Is feeling happy so foreign to me that it has shaken my equilibrium? perhaps... There is always a sense that if things are going well that the end is just around the corner. Decades ago, in college for the first time, I remember reading a book titled The Wisdom of Insecurity - don't remember the content, but am quite familiar with the Buddhist idea of samsara, and that everything changes. This belief is somehow less comforting, though no less true, when things are going well.

My disequilibrium has also been fueled by internet reading, there is a lot of information out there about possible near futures, and none of it looks like a lot of fun. A lot of it looks frightening. I'm not looking for reassurance about benign reality, I'm pretty aware that though times are somewhat difficult right now, life is still pretty much okay right here, right now.

My intention is to continue to act towards a sustainable life, to learn better how to garden, to further improve the infrastructure of my little city cottage, to build community with friends and neighbors, to do better at self-care... in short to continue my efforts to build a life that makes sense to me. My action is to savor as fulsomely as possible the delights that come my way, with a poignant sense of ephemerality. Maybe this feeling is just a function of my age and personality, but there is a scent of the wind that is disturbing, like when there were wildfires in Idaho, and we waited with packed vehicles and the radio on, to find out if it was time to leave. We could smell the smoke...

I need a hug - or a surfboard

Now mind, complaining is boring and not useful. But I miss having someone(s) to bounce hard ideas of off, to talk things out as a way of making sense out of what might be possible, to get a feel for what may become common ground. The closest I come is to write things here, but it is a pale imitation, without the reassurance and challenge of contact.

Now mind, I have many friends, both here in Portland and all around, good people all, with busy lives and kind hearts. It feels greedy to want a bestest friend, a someone who I can call and say hey, I need to talk, and know that they will make the time, that they know me deeply enough that we can communicate beyond just the surface. Maybe such connection does not happen more than once or twice in a life; maybe most folks look for that in their mate or partners. I'm not intending any slight to any or all of my pals.

Now mind, for years as a young adult I paid someone to listen to me, to help me "sort things out", Despite my best efforts, it made no difference at all, and in the end started feeling like a kind of surrogate life, like paying a whore for the facsimile of love. And I'm not looking for counseling now, I don't think that I'm somehow out of adjustment with reality.

When reality itself is shifting, does it make more sense to adjust to how it was, or to figure out how to surf the changes?

...I'd still like a hug, and a chance to sit down with a cup of tea for a talk

weekend fragments

The blue cardigan vest is finished. It is another of the good for wearing around the house knits, like my acorn hat. Someday there will be insulation in the walls, and boy would it be nice to have a tiny woodstove to make the house cozy. Navigator Stove Works is on Orcas Island and their stoves would make William Morris happy, they are both beautiful and useful (Halibut and Little Cod); these Morso stoves are bigger and come from further away, but are equally lovely.

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There is a rule of thumb, various folks say it differently but basically it is "don't cut fabric late at night" Do I follow this rule - no, not usually. Last night, cut out the pieces for a corduroy jumper promised to J, starting with the lining; hmmm, there are only three wee index cards of notes and sketches, (the actual dress this is copied from is still in Olympia) now how does this fit together? There is a real drawback to putting the pattern pieces for two dresses in one ziploc - my cut pieces were the fronts from one and the back from the other! Fortunately it was only the lining, and not the dress fabric. The pattern pieces are now labeled "dress 1" and "dress two".

This particular jumper/dress fastens in front with a button waistband and buttons all down the front of the skirt. Needs seven ¾ " buttons, preferably plain dark brown and definitely washable. Whilst out-n-about today tried to find said buttons without luck. Now mind, the long trip out to Fabric Despot or Millends was not an option, since there had already been a long trip out to Clackamas for vitamins.

On the way home, after a stop at New Seasons, I decided to walk home, as being faster than waiting for an evening bus; the weather was misting and not bitter cold, and walking is the best thinking time I know. (though I did be careful to pay attention to my footing, no more falling down for this gal if I can help it) Didn't solve the big issues, but realised that I could use some of the cast pewter buttons that are languishing in the tiny pile of SCA backstock. (They are washable and durable, used them on my old pair of overalls) Funny how objects move into virtual boxes and live there. They were a good idea, but not many folks wanted to buy them; those buttons could move in actuality into my button box and they might as well be used...

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I've read several books now by James Howard Kunstler, most recently The Witch of Hebron, a kind of sequel to World Made By Hand. Kept me up waay too late reading last night. He has a lot of interesting things to say, that have me wavering between hope and despair, the overall sense that resonates in my bones that the way things are now will not last.

When we were young the consensus was that the shit would hit the fan and we needed to be ready. Just no one was really sure what that meant, and it mostly consisted of having a knapsack and knowing the route to the roads out of the city, kind of like how as a child of the duck-and-cover age I always made a point of knowing where the fallout shelters were. A kind of false practicality.

When I chose to move here, to the city, it was with the full knowledge that it was/is a gamble. Olympia is more sustainable longterm, but Portland is less lonely. (I told a woman once that I didn't gamble small, but only with my life. That is perhaps why making committed decisions is so difficult for me, each one shifts the possible future, including the time before deciding.) Still uncertain what to do first, it is all about infrastructure, water-shelter-food. Here in the neighborhood we are taking babysteps towards community, which is hopeful...