My Very First Blog

Do you still believe in coincidence? Let me tell you this - there is no such thing as coincidence. Everything happens for a reason and you are the cause of everything that happens or will ever happen to you.

I know, some of you would say I'm talking nonsense. A few years back I would have agreed with you. But I learnt that if you look at the bigger picture and you become aware of the big picture and you stand outside of you observing yourself and your life, you will soon realize that every event, everything that happened to you had happened in the most perfect way imaginable.



As such, I have stopped blaming others for my misfortunes. Firstly, blaming others means you are not taking responsibility for what happened. Not taking responsibility means you are giving control to that person you blame. In other words, you are the poor, helpless victim.

Secondly, do be aware that you are the cause of your own misfortune. It's difficult to comprehend this at first. I mean, how can you say that I cause my own sickness? It would be madness to tell a victim of a robbery that he or she was robbed because he or she wanted it! Ridiculous right?

Well, not really. In actual fact, everything that happens to us must first come to us by the way of attraction. We are like magnets that attract things and events into our lives.

Take for example, you and your neighbour work nights and both of you walk back home every night. You get robbed twice but your neighbour is unharmed. Why? Are you more unlucky than your neighbour?

The answer lies in your beliefs. Probably you believe that people are basically bad and dishonest. Or you are always fearful of being robbed because you heard a lot of such robbery cases. Your negative beliefs attract the negative energies creating a physical manifestation that resulted in you being robbed!

Your neighbour on the other hand, probably believes that people are basically good. Her positive beliefs in turn attract positive energies and therefore she gets home safe and well.

Now you may not believe that people are bad, but probably you did something dishonest at work and this guilty feeling will also attract the negative energies because you subconsciously believe that you should be punished for your dishonesty.

Some of you may lash out at me and say this is complete rubbish! You may ask, do you mean that those people who perished in the recent earthquake in Haiti deserve it because they attracted the misfortune to themselves?

To answer this, I will not say yes or no. That's because I'm not fully enlightened to provide an answer to such a question!

But personally, I would say there is no coincidence in life. Things happen for a reason, and if you happen to be a victim of an earthquake or a tornado or a tsunami, you are probably there at the right time and the right moment for some reason.



Everything is happening perfectly. There are no chaos or random events although they may not seem to be so.

That is why do not fight life. Do not fight events and circumstances in your life. Instead accept them and go with the flow. Start thinking positively and create positive energies. Even though it may seem that your life is fated, I believe that we are in this world to create and re-create.

You can change your fate. You can change your beliefs. And as such, you can change your life for the better.

For more information on this topic, read books by the following authors - Deepak Chopra, Wayne W Dyer, Neale Donald Walsch, Christopher Stone, Shakti Gawain, Esther Hicks, Masaru Emoto, Eckhart Tolle.

Note: I am taking a break from my usual Bali travel posts. They will be back in my next upcoming post, so stay tuned : )

If you are a woman, have you ever suspected your husband of having an affair? Want to know the truth without confronting him?

Let me teach you this psychological technique which I learnt from the book "Get Anyone To Do Anything" by David J Lieberman.



It allows you to actually look into a person's mind and find out if he's hiding anything. It's called 'similar scenario' technique.

What you need to do is to ask a question that does not accuse the person of anything but rather alludes to it. Then simply observe his response.

Let us take the case of a woman who suspects her husband of having an affair with his secretary. Instead of confronting her husband, she plays it cool and casually asks him over dinner "Gee, you know what, honey? My boss Jim, I think he may be having an affair with his secretary."

Then she just need to observe her husband's response.

If he asks questions and becomes interested, she can be reasonably sure he's not doing the same thing.

But if he becomes uncomfortable and looks away and tries to change the subject, then he's likely to be engaged in a similar behaviour. She will notice his immediate shift in demeanor and attitude.


Photo courtesy of weird cool photos

Now why is this technique so useful and why we should not confront a person directly? Typically, when we confront a person, it would put him on the defensive. If it turns out that we're wrong, there's a good chance we may appear paranoid or jealous and the relationship suffers.

With this technique, we are able to bring up a particular subject and find out if he's comfortable or concerned with the topic, all without making a single accusation!

By the way, this technique does not work for women only. If you are a man and you suspect your wife is having an affair with the gardener (just an idea I plucked from Desperate Housewives, haha!) you too can use this technique to find the truth.


A scene from Desperate Housewives

In fact, this technique can be used for more than just finding out if your partner is having an affair. It has a myriad of other uses and is especially useful if you are tired of being deceived or taken advantage of.

Let's take another example. You suspect a salesperson in your office is stealing the office supplies. If you confront her and say "Have you been stealing from the company?" that would achieve nothing.

Reason being if she didn't do it, she would say no. And if she's guilty, she would still say no.

The better way is to say "I'm wondering if you could help me with something. It had come to my attention that someone in the sales department has been taking home office supplies for personal use. Any idea on how we can put a stop to this?"

If she did not do it, she would be eager to offer her suggestions.

But if she is guilty, she will appear uncomfortable and may probably assure you that she would never do anything like that. Now there's no reason for her to bring herself into the picture, unless of course, she's guilty.

Hi, everyone! Did the title of my post catch your attention?

So are you excited to know how?

Then let me be your love guru for today.

Before you read further, let me warn that this is strictly for those of you without any steady boyfriend or girlfriend. If you are married, you can still take this lesson but do not act them out other than with your spouse, although I don't see what's the point really.

OK, let's begin. Here are 3 foolproof methods to get anyone falling heads over heels in love with you!

Method No.1 – Gaze into the person’s eyes
Did you know that gazing into a person’s eyes can actually make the individual fall in love with you? I’m not exaggerating here. In 1989, an experiment (Kellerman, Lewis and Laird) was conducted whereby two opposite sex strangers were asked to gaze into each others’ eyes for 2 minutes. The conclusion? Passionate feelings were produced between the two strangers.

You can try this with the person you want to attract! When having conversation with your intended person, look him or her directly in the eyes when speaking and listening. Don’t look elsewhere! This way, you can engage this method without being obvious!

Now that you know this, if you ever find someone keep gazing into your eyes while talking to you, then you know he or she is trying to attract you. So if you do not want to fall for him or her, you had better look away!


Method No.2 – Bring along an attractive person of the opposite sex
When you want to meet the person you wish to attract for the first time, bring along an attractive person of the opposite sex with you. The person you wish to attract will feel less confident with herself as she compares herself with the attractive person accompanying you.

Approaching her when she is not feeling very confident will make you appear more attractive to her. This is natural human behaviour. We often feel others more attractive when we feel less confident with ourselves. This is the time to be flirtatious and friendly with her!

Logically speaking, do not of course, attempt to bring a friend of the same sex as you and who is more attractive than you. The person you want to attract may end up attracted to your friend instead!

However, this does not mean you should bring someone very unattractive with you, whether he or she is of the same or opposite sex. The person you wish to attract may associate you with him or her and find you unattractive. This is known as the Law Of Association in human behaviour.


Method No. 3 – Make use of emotional arousal
This tactic alone may get you more dates than any new hairstyle or outfit or job!
Have you ever seen a mismatched couple before – where the wife is good looking, but the husband is extremely unattractive, or the other way around?

They probably met somewhere when the better looking husband or wife was nervous, apprehensive or excited.

You see, when we are nervous or excited, our body produces adrenaline. In fact, any state of heightened arousal like fear, excitement and even exercise produces adrenalin. Anytime a person is aroused, his arousal will in part be attributed to whomever he is with. This is the foundation of human behaviour.

So if you want to attract someone, try and do it when you are both in a situation where he or she is emotionally aroused.

Using one of the methods above will give you a better chance to make that someone fall in love with you. Use all 3 methods and you are almost certain to succeed in getting him or her to fall head over heels in love with you!

Did I come up with all these? I hope I did, but unfortunately, no. Even a love guru has his own guru. And my guru is David J. Lieberman, PhD who authored this book called "Get Anyone To Do Anything", which is where I got all these information from.



Perhaps you may want to get this book as it teaches you more than just making anyone fall in love with you, though that's a good start, don't you agree?

How many times do you pray to God to ask for something? If you are a religious person, you may be doing this often. If you are not, you probably did it once or twice during those desperate times when you wanted something so badly.

I don’t claim to be a very religious person, or an expert in religion.

But I was reading through this excellent and deeply spiritual (but non-religious) book called “Conversations With God” by Neale Donald Walsch for the second time recently. And it simply inspired me to write this post today.

In the book, Neale was questioning God whether prayer works. Whether God will grant him what he asks for. Here’s God’s reply to him.

“You will not have what you ask, nor can you have anything you want. This is because your very request is a statement of lack, and your saying you want a thing only works to produce the precise experience – wanting – in your reality.

The correct prayer is therefore never a prayer of supplication but a prayer of gratitude. When you thank God in advance for which you choose to experience in your reality, you in effect, acknowledge that it is there …. in effect. Thankfulness is thus the most powerful statement to God; an affirmation that even before you asked, I have answered.

Therefore, never supplicate. Appreciate.”

Let’s reflect on this for a moment. Every time you want to create something or want to have something, are you always hoping or wishing for it? Do you pray and hope it’ll come to you? Or do you feel grateful that it’s already on its way to you?

When you pray for something badly, you will very likely experience the wanting, and not what you want. But if you are grateful because you trust that you will receive what you want, then you will very likely get it.

So here’s how you can shift the energy from wanting to the feeling of already having it and feeling grateful.

Step 1 – Write down what you want eg. increase income, better health, better relationships etc.

Step 2 – Write down how you feel about what you want.
Impatient? Frustrated? Disappointed? Or grateful?

Step 3 – If you feel anything other than grateful, choose this very moment to feel completely grateful and trust that what you want is on its way to you. Say “Thank you” at least 3 times to emphasize your feelings of gratefulness and know that what you want is already being materialized.

Step 4 – Erase all doubts and forget about this exercise. Just let go and allow the Universe to bring it to you.

Some people may ask, how can we practise gratefulness in times of trouble when we don’t feel like feeling grateful? Read this Trusting Life article for the inspiration.

Do you know that feeling grateful about what you have can actually attract more good things to you? It's the Law Of Attraction that can never fail you. When you are focused on being grateful for the good things in your life, the Universe will somehow bring more of those good things to you!

So let’s be grateful and thankful everyday, shall we?

Are you one of those people who always worry? Are you always asking yourself “What if…” questions?

What if I say something stupid?

What if people laugh at me?

What if my boss fires me?

What if I fail in my exams?

What if my husband leaves me for another woman?

What if the stock market crashes?

What if the petrol price continues to rise?

What if I can’t make ends meet?

What if the doctor finds out there is something wrong with me?

What if I run out of topics to post on my blog?

What if…..

Sounds familiar?

Let’s face it. Most of us worry. We are worried about so many things that if we were to list out all the things we worry about, we can fill up a whole book!

But have you ever ask yourself – is it necessary to worry? Why worry at all?

When we worry, we are not happy. Happiness and worry cannot exist side by side.

If you watched Kungfu Panda recently, you would most probably remember the character Grand Master Oogway mentioned this enlightening quote.

Yesterday is history.

Tomorrow is a mystery.

Today is a gift.

That’s why it’s called the present.

What does that tell you? Don’t worry about the past because it’s over and there’s nothing you can do about it. Don’t worry about the future because it has yet to happen and you don’t know what is in store. However, you can do something about the future. You have the power to change the future by focusing on doing the right things now. At this very moment. The present.

Instead of worrying about the future, the "What ifs", focus on the present. Live by the moment.

Have you ever ask yourself “What am I worried right this second?” You’ll be surprised. The answer is nothing. You are at peace now. You are only worried about things that might or might not happen in the future. Why waste your energy worrying about things that may not happen?

Live moment by moment. If you notice, most of us are always thinking about the past or the future. What happened yesterday or last week and what will happen tomorrow or next week. That is why we are always worried. We rarely think about the present.

If you practise being aware of the “Now” you will find yourself at peace and happy. Try it today. Spend some quiet time with yourself being completely aware of the present. Don’t you feel the calmness? It’s almost enlightening!

Now forget about the past and don't think of the future. Just sit back, enjoy this very moment with this song popularised by Bobby Mc Ferrin.

Don't Worry. Be Happy!

It was a dark and stormy night. I was busy blogging on my computer when I realized it was past 2am. Time to sleep! So I switched off the computer and went straight to bed. The bed looked so inviting so I laid down, closed my eyes and proceeded to sleep.

One minute ticked by, two minutes….then three. I opened my eyes. What’s the matter? I had yet to drift into dreamland. I tossed and turned in my bed. Half an hour later, I sat up, wide awake. Outside the rain had stopped. I did not feel sleepy anymore!

If you think this is going to be a ghost story, I am afraid you will be disappointed. Sorry for the misleading title! Ha ha!

After reading about a blogger suffering from sleeplessness the other day, I thought I should share my thoughts on this topic today. So if you have experienced the above minus the dark and stormy weather, then welcome to the world of insomnia!

Actually, if you have insomnia every night, it could be due to a medical condition and the best way to solve it is to see a doctor. However, if you experience sleeplessness once in a while, then here’s some ways to cure or prevent it. These are just some of my suggestions. They may or may not work for you as each individual is different. But try them no matter how ridiculous some of these ideas may sound to you.

1. Clear your mind before you sleep.
Most of us are pre-occupied with what we need to do the next day. If you go to bed worrying what you need to accomplish the next day, your mind will not rest. So the best way is write down a “To Do” List for the next day before you sleep. Sometimes your mind is pre-occupied with some events that happened during the day. Write down these events and note down what exactly is bothering you before you sleep. Once your have cleared your mind, it is easier to go to sleep.

2. Take a warm bath.
This will help you relax. However, you must take it at least 1 hour before sleep. A warm bath will raise your body temperature and this will prevent you from sleeping. We sleep best at optimum body temperature. After 1 hour, your body temperature naturally drops, so that’s the best time to sleep.

3. Avoid stimulants like coffee, black tea, cola drinks, chocolates, alcohol and cigarettes.
Coffee, black tea, cola drinks and chocolates all contain caffeine which is very stimulating. Alcohol dehydrates your body and this creates unrestful sleep. Cigarettes contain nicotine which produces faster brain wave, heart rate and breathing rate, not to mention an increase amount of stress hormones in your blood.

4. Have some sex.
Good news for those who like to have sex before going to sleep. A lot of people reported that they slept very well after having sex. So it’s a good idea to have sex with your partner during bedtime. Anyway, your bed is good for only two things - for sleeping and for having sex. Those without partners, don’t fret. Self-masturbation works just as well!

5. Sleep on your back.
This is the best position for relaxing and allows all your internal organs to rest properly. The second best position is sleep on your right side. Let me repeat. Sleep on your right, not your left. This is because sleeping on your left causes your lungs, stomach and liver to press against your heart and that’s not a very wise thing to do. But even if you don’t care much for such positions, never ever sleep on your stomach. That’s because sleeping on your stomach will put pressure on virtually ALL your internal organs, including your lungs, which results in shallow breathing, not to mention causing stiff necks and upper back problems.

6. Get a massage.
Massage helps to you to relax. Of course it must be the slow and gentle, yet firm strokes. Not the vigorous kind that makes you more alert. You must get your partner to do this for you, so if he or she does not want to, then try to have sex instead. If all else fail, just self-masturbate! (refer to Tip No.4)

7. Don’t count sheeps.
I don't know who originates this idea that counting sheeps will help you sleep. The idea that sheeps actively jumping over a fence is in itself not very calming to the mind, so how can it possibly help you sleep? Also when is the last time you see sheeps jumping over a fence? I wonder if picturing sheeps jumping over fences is exactly what keeps millions of people awake at night! Come to think of it, a better visualization would be picturing sheeps sleeping and counting the number of zzz coming out from their heads and floating up the sky!

8. Don’t associate your bed with some active or stressful events.
Some people use the bed to chat on their hand phones, others think about their problems in bed, still others read exciting page-turning novels in bed. When you do these things, your mind associates the bed with anything but peaceful and calming sleep! In hypnosis and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) this is called state anchoring.

An anchor is an experience, taste, touch, or smell that instantly recreates an emotional state in your body. For example, have you experienced hearing your favourite song and a certain emotion comes flooding to you? That is because, when you listened to that song the first time, you were feeling that way at that point of time and this feeling is anchored to that song.

Similarly, when you read a book or chat away on your hand phone in bed, your actions anchor the feeling of wakefulness to your bed. This makes your mind think that the bed is not a place for you to sleep. So every time you go to bed, you automatically feel wide awake! And you wonder how come you are able to sleep anywhere except in your bedroom!

9. Sleep in complete darkness.
You read this right. I want to emphasize the word "complete" here. Some people like to leave the bed lamp or the bathroom lights on. But this is what keeps us from having a good night sleep. Even streetlights shining in through the windows from outside is not good. The reason for this is simple. Our body produces a hormone called melatonin which is responsible for making us sleep. This hormone is produced only when you are in darkness. If there is light, the melatonin production will be affected, and so will your sleep.

10. Make sure room temperature is neither too hot or too cold.
We sleep better in cooler environment. As mentioned earlier (refer to No.2) we sleep best at optimum body temperature. The room temperature will affect our body temperature so if it's too hot, we won't be able to sleep. However, this does not mean you will sleep better in freezing temperature either.

11. Don’t toss and turn in bed.
Get out of bed if you can’t sleep. Tossing and turning will only make it worse. By getting out of bed, you change the pattern making it easier for you to fall asleep later on.

12. Exercise.
Exercise makes your body temperature goes up and makes you feel energetic the whole day. In this way, you will be more likely to sleep easier at night. If you notice, people with more “mental” jobs like office workers have more problems sleeping than people who work physically hard all day like construction workers. However, don’t exercise close to sleeping time, as your body temperature will still be high for the next few hours and will affect your sleep. For this reason, never go for a workout at the gym at 9pm!

13. Have a power nap during the afternoon.
A power nap means a short quality nap that is normally taken during the afternoon. In some countries such as Mexico, it's a custom to have daily afternoon siestas. When you take a short nap during the afternoon, you will be more energetic and fresh throughout the rest of the day. When night comes, you are more inclined to sleep better. However, limit your short nap to no more than 30 minutes. If you nap more than 30 minutes, you will confuse your body circadian rhythm and makes it more difficult for you to sleep at night.

14. Practise relaxation techniques.
The reason why you toss and turn in bed is because you are not relaxed. One way to relax is to imagine you are inside a lift as you lie in your bed. Imagine you are on the 100^th floor. As the lift descends, count as it passes each floor. 100, 99, 98, 97, 96 ….and so on. With each passing floor, you feel you are getting more and more relaxed. Hopefully before you reach the ground floor, you are already in dreamland! Of course, if you have phobias with lifts, or associate lifts with ghosts (made famous by the Chinese movie "The Eye") don't use this method. You may opt for other relaxation exercises which are just as effective.

15. Eat a light snack.
Although your digestion slows down during night time, eating a light snack that does not burden the digestive system too much will help. However, make sure you eat at least 1 hour before bedtime. Food such as bread, fruit and warm milk are good choices. Avoid food containing simple sugars and carbohydrates because these will cause a spike in your blood sugar levels and causes bursts of energy. Also food that are high in fat or spicy should be avoided as these cause gas and bloating in the stomach. Warm milk is excellent as it contains amino acid L-tryptophan. Research shows that L-tryptophan makes us drowsy and helps us sleep better.

16. Listen to music.
The music should be soft, preferably instrumental songs and not loud, rock songs. Also don’t listen to your favourite songs during sleep. You will tend to concentrate on the song and stay awake!

17. Drink herbal tea.
Chamomile, passion flower or valerian tea is excellent as they are natural sedatives and sleep promoters without the side effects of sleeping drugs. These are herbal teas. Don't confuse with other forms of tea like teh tarik which will guarantee to keep you awake!

18. Sleep with your head facing north.
This is not some feng shui advice from Lillian Too. Although not proven, it seems that sleeping in this position aligns your body with the earth’s magnetic field, bringing your own energies in harmony with earth. No harm trying but if you cannot turn your bed to face North because of lack of space in your bedroom or putting your bed in that position looks really awkward, then just forget it!

19. Develop a bedtime routine.
For example before going to sleep, you fold the laundry, check the locks, brush your teeth. Because humans are creatures of habit, these actions will program your body to get ready for sleep. It’s somewhat like the Pavlov's experiments with dogs. Or this is another form of anchoring (refer to No. 8)

20. Listen to Innertalk "Sleep Soundly" CD.
Innertalk is a company founded by Dr Eldon Taylor who did a lot of research on the effects of mind programming using CDs. I am sure you have heard about the effects of writing down and reciting affirmations to reprogram your mind. However, affirmations rarely work because your conscious mind will reject them as untrue. For example, if you affirm that you sleep very easily at night and you sleep deeply all the way till morning, your conscious mind will reject this affirmation because it knows very well that you have been tossing and turning in your bed every night! What Dr Taylor did was he used a patented technology to hide these affirmations behind music. When you listen to his CDs, you hear only music, but your sub-conscious mind will catch the affirmations that is not audible to your ears! Listen to his "Sleep Soundly" CD will help to reprogram your mind about sleeping.

Well, that's it! 20 ways to cure the insomniac in you! Whichever method you use, take sleeping pills and drugs only as a last resort. Even then, do not take them continuously or you can become dependent on them. And whatever you do, don't mix alcohol with sleeping pills! It's deadly. You don't want to end up like Heath Ledger, do you?

Busy! Busy! Busy!

I'm so busy I'm actually doing 4 things right now - writing this blog, eating my lunch, chatting on the phone and sending reply emails!

I can tell you I'm not doing a very good job out of it and you know why? 'Cos I'm a man, not a woman. I'm from Mars, not Venus. Oh, you get it, don't you? That thing about women being experts at multi-tasking and men not so good at it?

Just this morning, my friend who faithfully read my blog since it started called up and asked what happened to me. Why did I stop blogging.

I was like, what? When did I stop blogging?

If I'm not mistaken, my last blog was posted on Tuesday, 17th June 2008 which was just 3 days ago. So what was she talking about?

OK, OK, I know they say if you want to be taken seriously as a blogger, you must post daily. Daily! Well, it's not that I don't want to, it's just that I don't have the time!

Now, a lot of people I know don't like that last sentence. Don't have the time. What the crap is that? If you don't have time, mister, make time! It's all about time management, right? Know your priorities!

There are 101 things I need to do in a single day. No kidding. Look, I'm writing down a 'To Do' List for today. Here it is...

My 'To Do' List for Fri, 20th June 2008
1. Write a new post on my blog
2. Reply all emails
3. Drop on Entrecard members
4. Read my favourite blogs
5. Bank in my cheques
6. Mail letter and buy stamps
7. Return call to Mr. Tan
8. Get a haircut
9. Water the plants
10. Buy ink for my printer
11. Watch "Death Note" DVD (must return by tomorrow!)
12. Buy gift for Cheryl's birthday
13. Work out at the gym
14. Visit my dentist
15. Change my bedroom's light bulb
16. Iron my clothes
17. Call my insurance agent
18. Practise my piano (need to perform during Cheryl's birthday party!)

Ok, so it's not 101 things, just 18. Still, that's a lot I need to accomplish in a day, don't you think?
Hello! The above list is what I need to do in addition to my daytime job which is a MUST DO.

So how on earth am I going to tick off every item on my 'To Do' list? This is when I must make use of the Pareto Principle.

A ha!

Well, in case you haven't heard about the Pareto Principle, let me just briefly mention it. Pareto Principle states that for many events, 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes. Also known as the 80-20 rule, it was discovered by an Italian economist by the name of, you guessed it, Pareto.

Using this 80-20 rule, you will be surprised to find that...

20% of people in Malaysia had 80% of the money.

20% of the people in your office do 80% of the work.

20% of your customers give you 80% of your profits.

20% of the world's countries control 80% of the world's economy.

20% of bloggers who read my post won't understand 80% of what I'm blogging about.

OK, I'm just kidding on that last one.

Or I think it's more accurate to say that 80% of bloggers who drop by only read 20% of my post today. They are the Touch n Go bloggers, if you know what I mean - and I'm especially referring to Entrecard bloggers. Ha ha!

Anyway, what has all this got to do with my 'To Do' List? Plenty. Simply put, by applying the Pareto Principle, I need only to concentrate on 20% of my 'To Do' List ie. the most important ones. In other words, the ones I give priority to. It all comes back to priorities.

Unless I target the 20%, I can be wasting 80% of my time!

What I'm saying is, you can't do everything! But you can do the 20%! Let's not worry about the 80%. Because by concentrating on the 20%, you would already have made a major achievement. That's why they say average people put average effort into lots of things. Achievers put major effort into key things.

Having said that, does this mean I'll be updating my blog daily from now on?

Unlikely. The reason? I know my priorities, and I can tell you there are more important things in my life besides blogging! Posting every 2-3 days is fine with me and for the moment, let's leave it at that.

Reading a blogger's post on Forgive But Don't Forget today inspired me to write this article.

It's so hard to forgive, isn't it? When someone do you wrong, don't you just hate that person and vow never to forgive him or her ever?

But wait a minute, when you vow not to forgive that person, who exactly is suffering here?

Think about it.

Here's an example to make it clearer for you. Let's say, you discover that your girlfriend is leaving you because she is running off with your best friend.

So in anger, you say, "I'll never forgive you for that!"

Now there are hundred and one reasons why your girlfriend left you. It may be because you did not appreciate her, or she did not find you compatible, or she is money minded and your best friend is more loaded than you, etc. etc. Whatever the reasons, it does not matter, at least that is not what I'm trying to talk about today.

What matters is when you vow not to forgive her, and perhaps even extend that to your best friend, who suffers?

I can assure you it's not them. You are losing sleep, have no appetite, cannot concentrate on your work, and feeling all stressed up. Them? They are probably enjoying themselves and partying all night!

So you see, when you don't forgive them, it's YOU who suffer.

But then, you say "How can I possibly forgive them after what they did? And why should I since I'm the victim here?"

Well, when you forgive someone, you don't have to agree with what that person did. When you forgive her, it does not mean you lost, she won.
When you forgive him, it does not mean he's right, you're wrong.
When you forgive them, IT IS NOT ABOUT THEM.

It's about YOU. PERIOD.

You want your own life to work. You want to have inner peace of mind. When you forgive someone, you let go the burden and you feel free. You are once again in control of your life. Why let the person who wronged you control your life? Hasn't he or she done enough damage to you? It makes no sense to let them prolong your suffering!

Revenge should be furthest from your mind. There is no need to feel spiteful because the nature of things will take care of itself. Haven't you heard about the Law Of Attraction? Or the Law Of Karma ie. what you sow, you reap? Do bad things and bad things come to you? Do good things and expect to receive good things?

So when we forgive others, it does not mean they did no wrong. It simply means we accept that they wronged us, and we move on. We wish them well, and carry on with our lives.

Now that you know this, let me end this with a surprising twist. OK, here goes...

In actual fact, THERE IS NO ONE TO FORGIVE.

Huh? Scratching your head?

You must be thinking I'm contradicting myself!

Well, not really. Let me invite you to read this wonderful, inspiring story called "The Little Soul and The Sun" by Neale Donald Walsch. I hope you will be further enlightened by the story and perhaps understand why there is no one for us to forgive.

Before signing off, I would like to say thank you to Andrew Matthews for his wonderful book Happiness Now. It's from this book, I learnt about forgiving others. Go get this book - you won't regret it!

If today, there is someone you are still angry with, or someone you have never thought of forgiving, I hope my article here will change your mind. Forgive that someone, because you'll be much better off. I promise.

Yes, do you know the 5 Secrets you must discover before you die?

I know the secrets. And I discovered it today at the Borders Bookstore in The Curve.

It was after lunch with a friend at Dragon-I restaurant and my friend had to leave so I decided to do some strolling around the Curve. Walked past Borders, and the welcoming sight of rows and rows of books were too big a temptation to resist.

And so I found myself casually flipping through some books here and there, not really reading anything at all. Then this book caught my attention. The title reads "The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die". I zoomed in on the author's name - Dr. John Izzo. Hmm, heard his name from somewhere, but could not recall.

Found myself a nice chair to sit and I proceeded to read the book. I did not know about 1 hour had passed when I finally put the book down! It was a such a good read! Touching and inspiring, warm and full of wisdom.

It is the secret to Happiness. To live well and die happy. It seemed that Dr John Izzo, a best selling author and corporate speaker, had interviewed over 200 people aged 60-106 asking them to reflect back on their lives. What did they learn? What brought them happiness and what did they regret?

From all the interviews, Dr Izzo were able to conclude the 5 secrets to living happily and meaningfully. They are:
1. Be true to yourself
2. Leave no regrets
3. Become love
4. Live in the moment
5. Give more than take

On reflection, these 5 secrets are really no secrets at all. I mean we know them deep inside us, only thing is we are too busy with our lives to really ponder or put into practice.

Be True To Yourself. This simply means be yourself. Be honest with yourself. Live life that is true to you and not lie to yourself. Live your life and not other people's lives.

Leave No Regrets. Any action we take, we must be fully responsible. There should be no regrets over what we had done. It also means take more risks in life, instead of being afraid and regretting later.

Become Love. Love is the most powerful emotion in the universe. Be more loving to oneself, and to others.

Live In The Moment. Focus on the present. There's not much you can do about the past, it's over. There's no point in worrying about the future because the present determines the future. In other words, why worry about the past or future when what really matters in the present. The Now. (Refer to "The Power Of Now" by Eckhart Tolle)

Give More Than Take. Give and you shall receive. The happiest people on earth are those who give more than they receive. Giving also signifies you have abundance, and that's a great mentality to have. Because when you believe you have abundance, somehow you do. That's how it works. (Refer to "The Secret" by Rhonda Byrne)

I am thankful I went to Borders today and left with a higher awareness of what I must do in my life!