SELF SUPPORTING

[migrated from livejournal]


okay...so...some updates:

1) another new year for me. my birthday...and again, the same feeling i had last year...a feeling of unease. maybe the unease is caused by the recent outcome of the grades i have....the gwa that i will be getting for this sem will not be lower than about 1.94...which will totally bring down the current gwa that i have from 1.78 ~1.77 to about 1.81...so...more effort...but never mind that. that's number 2. but, yes the birthday. I believe this feeling has been going on for two years now. I just don't feel like celebrating. there's just something missing but I cant quite put it right. I mean, there's also a mixed of partial fulfillment of some sort. I just don't feel like it. It just feels like any ordinary day. Oh well, maybe that's not really something special...maybe a lot fo people actually feel the same way I do...but anyway...there's still a long road ahead of me...and...again, my problem is just getting stuck up in both the past and the present that I seldom look forward to things...Like now, I'm still stuck up on the what-ifs this and that for the subjects that I took. So many what-ifs that could have ended in me just maintaining instead of trying to get a hit on it.

2) Haay...for number 2. The current motivation for me in really excelling for my studies is this. Before, my sister told me that if I graduate with honors, She'll buy me a new car...and since I am already 21...the registration can be made for me. Meaning, I actually own the car. My property...and the motivation was even further strengthened when my dad just called right now and told me that if do graduate with honors, the he might but me a car...and...my reaction was...to get rid of that nasty word ----"MIGHT"-----I immediately gave my response as this "aheheheh...baka pwede naman po kayong maghati ni achie, nangako rin po siya na bibigyan niya ako ng kotse." hehehe...well, if this will be the goal that i am going to build up myself for. My eyes are currently focused on a toyota fortuner. the black one. =) So, that's about 1.,6M. hehehe...dad, sis, and maybe my bro as well - since he may have migrated to new zealand by then - ready the money!

3) for an update on the first 2, I need to get 1 on both my summer classes....and then 1.5 something in my first sem gwa and then...198 - - 1.25? and then....113 - 1.5? 1.75?...Lord, please help me make this all go well..

4) So, self supporting. For the past days, i actually have not been getting any allowances. hehehe, ive been forgetting to ask my mom for some moolahs. that's why I don't have any money as of the moment. Wala pa akong pangblowout- and nahihiya na ako humingi sa nanay ko ng pangblow out sa mga friends ko. eh kasi ba naman...21 na ako eh! tsaka...im sure...sasabihin lang ng mommy ko na meron naman akong pera.......uhmm.....wala kaya...hehehe...actually, meron naman pala come to think of it...pero ipon ko yun eh. dun ko nilalagay lahat ng ilang porsyente ng mga perang regalo...para pag nagbakasyon or what may pera...siguro sabihin nalang natin na nakakapanghinayang na gumastos ng pera lalo na kung sa sarili mong bulsa manggagaling...ang hirap talaga maging self-supporting. diba rose? diba norman? =)

5) a miracle has occured! I got a 2 in my eee 105 class. And there I was thoroughly worried of getting a 3-2.5 grade...that was when I assumed that I would be getting a 1.5 in doc m's 141 class which turned out to be a total disappointment...I got a 2...but I guess you can say that I did deserve it...I was counting on the fact that he would curve the grades that much to accomodate me getting steps higher. Oh yeah, getting back to 105, well, I was seriously worried about it because of the fact that when I saw the exam average of the class, only three of US. hehehe talagang dapat sabihing US...got a passing exam average....I was the second highest with 61.something...and the third got 60.something...but my ME was only 70...and my quizzes was only about 33...eh kasi naman ang hirap magpaquiz ni sir. minsan kaya biglang naglabas ng timing diagrams tapos kelangang gawan ng statediagrams...eh hello? kelan ba ako huling nag eee 21...and hindi naman ako coe...wala rin siya sa libro so kahit magbasa ako dapat nakasalalay sa fact na malakas ang retention sa memory ko ng mga past lessons/courses. anyway, ayun nga, moving on...tuwang tuwa talaga ako ng makakuha ako ng 2 kasi nga di ko inexpect...so...ang conclusion...Got to believe in magic din with sir bob...

6) MS or job offers. Nakakatuwa talaga mga kaibigan ko...buti nalang at yan nalang ang mga pinoproblema...so...dahil kaibigan ko sila, makikisama na rin ako. Well, tempting nga naman mag MS kasi nga yung benefits tsaka yung sa NGSE, may bond nga pero walang specific company or something basta stay in the philippines....Which got me thinking on what future path I should be trekking. I mean, come on, you also get a monthly stipend of 12k pesos?! That's a tempting offer. Pero, ang nagpapabago lang anman sa isip ko is the fact na if I want to continue studying, I want to at least give it a shot abroad...first dahil mas masaya...and the sense of independence it offers is way way better. I mean, kasi pag nag ms...uuwi ka parin sa same house, though you won't be overly dependent on your parent's money...hehehee...pero for me, that won't be a problem as long as my parent's are willing to give. Hehehe....pag magdate kaya kapatid ko sa alabang dahil yun na yung in between sa kanila ng girlfriend niya from batangas, mom ko tatanungin pa kapatid ko kung may pera siya tapos bibigyan ng 2000 pang gas and allowance...hmm...wait...di ko lang maalala kung yan ba yung time na umuwi rito kapatid ko galing abroad so wala talaga siyang pesos or bago yun. hehehe...anyway...baka mabasa to ng kapatid ko...congratulations sa new zealand!

7) the end.