[Random] Unencumbered

Unencumbered (04/08/2014)

At the precipice of contemplation,
I realized with striking clarity,
that I have moved on from you,
From us, from my loss.

My heart has been mended.
The despair and confusion,
Antiquated feelings like spindly cobwebs,
Swiped clean as frail as they are.

I stared out onto the night.
The neighboring buildings blinking,
On and Off, On and off -
Signs of life and movement.

I spin with the world
As it rotates and orbits around the sun.
Immobility by emotional distress -
A somber concept by romantics and poets.

I hear the distant breeze.
I inhale deep and breathe out,
A sigh of freedom and relief.
The burden is completely gone.

I recall seeing your picture together.
No envy, no jealousy, no remorse, no anger
There was nothing. Absolutely nothing.
"Oh, they look good together."

My phone sounds as a message comes in.
I smile. "It's you. What a coincidence."
I do not bother to reply.
Swipe to the left, delete. Time for bed.

[Random] Threesome

Note: Written to shake off my agitation as shared on  CH232: Contemplation on Starting Over

Threesome (28/07/2014)

Under the covers, warm, satisfied, tired.

I hear the deep breathing resound,

Echoing solemnly in this darkness.

I wondered, "how did I get here again?"

--------------------

The elevator sounded, "Ding!", 22nd floor.

I step out onto the familiar foyer.

The doors open as I was taking my shoes off.

I was offered a seat, a Negroni right in front.

"Try it." It's a cocktail originating a century ago.

I sip and my face showed my opinion of it.

"It's a developed taste," you say

I smiled, the aftertaste was good, lingering.

--------------------

The bed sheet shuffles as you turn to face me.

Heat emanating from the bodies in bed,
Magnified by the warmth of togetherness.

Soon, the bed sheet shuffles some more.

--------------------

The feeling of being welcomed, accepted, appreciated.

A toast with the second round of drinks.

Espresso martinis made fresh, how fancy.

"Cheers to your future. To Australia!" Clink.

I think I prefer this drink more than the first.

I smiled innocently, enjoying the company.

"You've got great teeth!" "Thank you!"

"You're very sweet, cute and sexy."

--------------------

I hear a bit of snoring go on for a bit.

"Why am I still awake?" My thoughts inquire.

A hand caresses my face then moves to my back.

As the hand goes down my spine, the sheets shuffle.

--------------------

I was genuinely captivated, enthralled.

The conversation was flowing naturally.

I noticed to myself how a couple of years back,

This situation would have made me stutter.

I smile, contemplating thoughts in my head.

I caress your arms, your face, as your head rests on my lap 
I think: I like this new me - this confidence.

I smell coffee. The next round of martinis arrive.

--------------------

I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep.

I woke as you turned. I opened my eyes as you stirred.

"Good morning!" And then the sheets were off.

Lying between the two of you, I smiled.

[Random] Despair

Despair (17/07/2014)

What could be sadder than a forgotten existence?

I held your head close to my chest, by my beating heart.

As the tears continued to stream down my face,

I screamed to the heavens, wailed hysterical.

Too soon, I say. Much too soon.

What could be sadder than an experience unfulfilled?

Nipped too early, ours was love never to bloom.

I glanced a look at your usually vibrant face.

Gone are your gleaming eyes, replaced by an empty barren gaze.

Lost! Your blonde hair turned auburn, caked by your own blood.

What could be sadder than a loved one lost?

Bathe in your blood that warms me from the cold spring air,

I whisper into your ear that will never hear:

I love you, I'm sorry, I love you

I'm sorry, but life without you is a life not worth living.

What could be sadder than a man who has lost everything?

As I feel the light drops of rain from the night sky wash the blood away,

I take the revolver lying beside you and point it to my head.

I wrap a finger around the trigger and BOOM!

Darkness. What could be sadder?

[Random] Forlorn

Forlorn (14/07/2014)

In the vastness of this grassland,

I find myself alone with thoughts of you.

Anxious, restless, the thoughts swirl on.

Will you ever come back to this place we swore on?

The grass rustle as a light gale sweeps past.

I suddenly realize how cold I feel.

Void of warmth and full of longing,

I remember our last embrace, our last kiss.

We swore four months back to meet at this spot.

Swore on love eternal - till death do us part.

I notice the sun has almost set on the horizon.

Time takes away the light as it does my hope.

I look around and listen as the night comes alive.

I sigh and see the breath of mist I exhale.

Another day has gone and still no you.

Will tomorrow come again and then I'll see you?