Is Candy Pregnant?

A couple of weeks ago, my nanny called me up in the morning on her day off to shriek, "Turn on your TV!! You didn't tell me your niece was pregnant!" Dutifully, I turned on Channel 11, and there was Candy, big as a heifer in a maternity outfit. After the brief segment on some hot new designer's looks for Spring/Summer 2008, I turned off the TV and dialed my mother, Candy's grandmother.

"Is Candy pregnant? She was just on TV and she's as big as a house. How could you know this and not tell me?!"

Grandmom answers, "I don't know, dear...let me give her mother a call and see what I can find out."

Now, at 83 years of age, Grandmom's vision isn't the best, so when she hit the little speed dial number on her cell phone, she accidentally hit the number for Candy instead of speed dialing my sister. At 83 years of age, Grandmom's hearing isn't the best, so when Candy had answered the phone, Grandmom didn't notice that is was not my sister speaking. "Is Candy pregnant?" Grandmom demanded to know, "Roxy saw her on TV and says she's as big as a house! She's five months along if she's a day."

Oh, how mortifying for your friend Roxy. As it turns out, Candy insists that she's just put on a little weight since the wedding, thanks to her new hubby's terrific cooking. A likely story! And the maternity clothes? "Empire waists are all the rage in New York these days. Candy would know about fashion," says Grandmom. Candy at least had a sense of humor about the whole thing, and harkened back to the time a couple of years ago when she was very single, very thin, and very embarrassed when Al Roker asked her when she was due. Thankfully, they were not on the air at the time.

All of this (well, except the Al Roker part) would never have happened if one of us had just given Grandmom a Jitterbug cell phone for Christmas.

Instead of creating and/or amplifying our senior moments, Jitterbug cell phones are easy to use and include live, friendly, helpful customer service. Jitterbug has 24-hour operators who will help Grandmom to manage her phone contacts, even dial calls for her. The phones are simple, with bigger, backlit buttons. Bright, large text. The powerful speaker sounds it out loud and clear. Plus, Jitterbug is affordable, even for Grandmom. Service starts at just $10 a month, with no long distance or roaming fees and no contracts with fine print to worry about.

Grandmom can also accessorize her Jitterbug phone...check out the Jitterbug web site to add a phone charger (order today to get a free car charger, though maybe Grandmom shouldn't be driving), extra batteries, a black leather case, red beaded lanyard, and other goodies that will get you into the Daughter or Granddaughter of the Month Club.

Ah, the Days of Candy's "Sexy Peek of Shin"

While it is no secret to my loyal readers that I make money blogging and that I'm hoping to create real enterprise value one day for Roxiticus Desperate Housewives and Roxy's Best Of, a couple of my blogging buddies have reminded me that not everyone is in it for money. My Bestest Pal wrote a post entitled "No One is Paying Me to Write This" about his happy customer service experience with Apple replacing his crashed 160 gig mofo iPod, and my good buddy Matt (aka Michigan Rafter) posted about EntreCard that he likes the traffic, but doesn't worry as much as the rest of us about his rankings since he's not in it for the money.

Separately, I saw my niece, Candy, on television today and harkened back to a time when she tried to start an online business, customizing jeans with embroidery, patchwork, or cutting and sewing to create a "sexy peek of shin" (before capris were the "in thing."). Since those early days as an entrepreneur, Candy has become the pretty face for a highly successful (unrelated) online venture, but I picture her about eight years ago, setting up shop in her apartments in Brooklyn and on the Lower East Side (again, waaaay before it was trendy). She would order wholesale products in bulk at discounted prices from online wholesale retailers like DollarDays.com. Then Candy would sit at her sewing machine for hours, staying up all night on many an occasion to customize each piece to meet her deadline for an e-mailed order. I think that, in the end, Candy sold about 15 pairs of custom jeans, with stacks of them leftover in her apartment, but she did get her picture in The Daily News, met some new friends (possibly even her current bosslady), and had a lot of fun starting an online venture.