Governor David Paterson: You've Tried All the Rest, Now Try...

Feels like the staff here at Roxiticus Desperate Housewives is writing an open letter to a naughty politician on an almost weekly basis these days. Client Number Nine Spitzer and Three-Way I- Am-A-Gay-American McGreevy have led the news with their scandals, keeping consumers' minds in the gutter and off the economy. I will have a few things to say to Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick in upcoming posts. But now New York has a fine, upstanding new governor, David Paterson, who needs to be awakened to a tool for spiritual enlightenment before it is too late. Here goes:

Dear Governor Paterson,

I am unable to write to you in Braille (this is a blog, after all), so I hope your swingin' wife will read this missive to you on a day when she's not off enjoying herself with your best friend or former NJ Governor McGreevy (or his ex-wife, Dina -- the options are endless). On the day you were sworn in, perhaps in honor of St. Patrick's Day, you regaled reporters, politicians, and fellow Americans with tales of your tawdry family affairs during a troubled period in your marriage. Now, just a week later, you're sharing your marijuana and cocaine stories from your mis-spent youth.

Dave, may I call you Dave? I'm going to suggest that, instead of revealing another titillating tidbit about your private life next Monday, you become part of the peaceful revolution in consciousness and value that is sweeping our planet. The Sedona Method is the technique for a new earth that will show you how to transcend the ego. You can live life now free of unnecessary suffering and stop imposing suffering on others, including the New Yorkers who have had enough scandal for the foreseeable future. There's a free DVD and CD, Dave....be happier and feel more peaceful with the Sedona Method instead of becoming yet another gubernatorial punch line for the writers on Saturday Night Live. As they say on the pizza boxes, you've tried all the rest, Governor Paterson, why don't you give the Sedona Method a try?

All the best, and what's best for you....
Bree

New Governor and Wife Turn Blind Eye to Each Other's Affairs

Sorry, I just couldn't resist that one (and why are there no Lasik advertising opportunities available when you need one?).... Just hours after David Paterson received a standing ovation from lawmakers chanting his name, New York's newly sworn governor was answering questions about straying from his own marriage. At least he didn't have to pay for it.

Here's the latest on our own former NJ governor McGreevey and his wife's three-way. Former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey said Monday that he and his wife and a male aide (Teddy Pedersen) engaged in sexual threesomes, contradicting a denial issued hours earlier by his estranged wife. Pedersen said he had consensual sex with the couple for about two years before McGreevey became governor. He said he only had "contact" with Dina McGreevey during the trysts, and wasn't sure whether McGreevey was gay. My question is, why is this all coming out now? McGreevey envious of all the attention Eliot Spitzer is getting? I assume that somehow Jim McGreevey thinks it will help his divorce case, but how? Perhaps something along the lines of "Dina knew I was gay, but due to my self-sacrificing nature, I brought my friend in to service her in a three-way....I did it all for her!"

I am hoping that the variety of scandals in the news will be good for the economy.