nonamedufus

Every once in awhile I'll troll the gossip and weird news sites. I find they're often good for a laugh. For instance, I see Germany won't give Justin Bieber his monkey back. Well, geez, the guy should have known enough to keep it in his pants. Yeah, okay, I made that last part up. Sorry. I didn't mean to stiff ya. They were talking about a real monkey. Speaking of which, there was a story recently about a guy from Sweden who died after he decided to stick his penis into a hornet's nest. Sad to say, it turns out the story was a hoax, though. I say "sad" because this was quite the story. The guy reportedly had 146 wasp stings on his body, 46 of which were on his manhood. The coroner speculated the guy had sex with the nest which triggered the rage of the flying, stinging pests. Now if this story were true would you stop and ask yourself, "hell, what the heck was this guy thinking?" Was he thinking "Hey, I think I'll pleasure myself

Now get this.  It would seem that German soccer fans are a dedicated lot.  A survey there last week has revealed most Germans would prefer watching their team in the World Cup final than having sex with their partners. The survey indicated only 5 per cent of those questioned would prefer going all the way than watching their national soccer team, um, er, go all the way. Historically, aren't these the guys that were busy creating the master race.  Seems they're now into rooting for, what they hope is, the master soccer team. Meanwhile, in Argentina their soccer players will be able to enjoy the best of both worlds.  Their coach has decided to let team members have sex during the World Cup.  As the team doctor puts it: "Sex is part of everybody's social life and it's not a problem in itself.  Problems arise with the excesses: all the extra, a non-regular partner or in hours reserved for rest." No, no silly. Today's a game day! So the players will be abl

I was thumbing through a Maclean's magazine from a couple of weeks ago last week, catching up on my periodical reading (isn't that why they call them periodicals, 'cause you read them periodically?) and I came across an article that made me burst out loud laughing. In Japan apparently 60% of guys in their 20s are known as soushoki dansi or, in everyday English herbivores or literally translated grass eating boys . Are these guys: a) dope-fiends, b) only date goats, or c) have two stomachs. None of the above. Nope. A herbivore is a celibate Japanese slacker. Konnichiwa? To be precise, according to Maclean's a herbivore is a young Japanese man "who saves money, shuns sex, has a penchant for nice clothing and prefers a quieter, less competitive lifestyle". In Japanese "sex" is translated as "relationship in flesh". So pop culturist Maki Fukasawato coined the term herbivore boys because they aren't interested in flesh. The article goes o

It's all in the punctuation: An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all.” "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids."

merci

A lot of the stuff I've shared with readers over the past two years had to do with the differences between men and women. What is it with the portrayal of men vs, women on the internet? Believe me, if there really was a battle of the sexes, the women would win hands down every time. Here's just a few of the men/women items I've posted since April 2007... Tomorrow: The Best of 60s Fridays

merci

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping through the channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started... My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?'' "Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since." ''My God!" says my wife, "who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" And then the fight started... I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." And then the fight started... My

HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die. PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. merci Bernard

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys’ side of the story( I must admit, it’s pretty good) We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side Now here are the rules from the male side These are our rules! Please note… they are all numbered ‘1′ ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissi

merci Why It's Better To Have A Dog Than A Wife 1.The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. 4. A dog’s parents never visit. 5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. 6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day. 7. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk. 8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing. 9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?” 10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away. 11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert. 12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting. 13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck. And last, but not least: 14. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff. If you really want to know who

“What do I know about sex? I’m a married man.” –Tom Clancy “I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.” –Steve Martin “Sex without love love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it’s pretty damned good.” –Woody Allen “Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.” –Unknown “My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it kind of hard for him to come out of the closet.” –Bill Kelly “Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.” –Henry Miller “The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love heterosexuals. It’s just that they need more supervision.” –Lynn Lavner “There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.” –P. J. O’Rourke