nonamedufus

A couple of administrative items before we get to the good stuff. First up, I was presented with an award this week. Ol Count Sneaky stopped by and dropped off his Bronze Award "...for whatever" because he liked my James Bond parody Dufus, Noname Dufus . Said Sneaky: James Bond apparently had no problems in the testosterone department, but most of us mere mortals do at one time or another, so it's vital that we call on our "sawbones" once a year for a prostate exam. Your take on this exam is hilarious and you deserve recognition for bringing it up, and none the least for making it funny. So, I'm awarding you the coveted(?) and rarely awarded(?) Count Sneaky Bronze Award For Whatever...Enjoy. My best. Well, thanks Count. That's deeply appreciated. The second item I'd like to share with you is I've started another blog. dufus daze - noname notions is meant to be a collection of opinions and observations. I may not always be funny over there, so ...

PM Harper warms up for debate. I don't know what it is about us Canadians but we make it so easy for others to laugh at us. Is it our love of Tim Horton's coffee and donuts? What about that elegant gooey gourmet gloop of cheese curds, gravy and fries known as poutine? Could it be because our country is where the sport of hockey was born but we have precious few of our teams in the playoffs? Or maybe it's because our Prime Minister acts so damn presidential. During the current election campaign - oh, yeah, we're having an election here. Have you heard? Probably not. Stop me if this sounds familiar - our President, er, ah, Prime Minister has been accused of running a tightly controlled campaign from a bubble, tossing out "undesirables" from rally stops and limiting media questions to only 4 or 5 per event. His government is plagued by scandals, has been accused of misleading Parliament and Canadians and even Canadians snicker at him calling his party the Harper ...

Just a quick word to you conspiracy theorists, Mayan calendar followers, or simply superstitious saps. Did you notice the date today? It's the 10th day of the 10th month of the 10th year. Yeah. How about that. But I'll bet what you didn't know is that 10-10-10 is the Canadian metric version of the number of the beast. Uh-huh. Now would I lie to you guys? Hey, wait! Look at this... Everyday Goddess gave me her Post of the Week Award. Cool, huh? It's the second one she's given me inside of a month. And what makes this one so special is it comes on the first anniversary of her giving out these weekly awards. She liked my That's Nuts post last week. Thanks EG. And congratulations on your milestone.

I didn't quite know what to make of our picture this week. But you guys certainly did. Jeremy from We Took The Bait moved: Mike LaScala could not resist the urge to crowd ride during the Beastie Boys concert at the Paramus, New Jersey Convention Center. Bahamian transplanted Canadian 00dozo from When I Reach seconded with: Fifteen minutes into a Democratic filibuster, Glenn Beck turns into a brain-eating zombie. Tgoette at Sophiticated Lunacy  submitted this private member's bill: Supporters of the gay rights initiative celebrated passage of the bill with a group hug, And Whitey - how ya doin' Whitey? - added to the debate with: Apparently the 54-40 option was voted down. Now Whitey, a sports nut, went all cerebral on me with his reference to the historical debate of "54-40 or fight" from the 1844 Democratic leadership race. It refers to where the U.S. wanted to draw it's boundary with Canada. The U.S. was a few degrees off, settling on the 49t...

This was quite an eventful weekend for nonamedufus. First, the lovely and talented Everyday Goddess  visited my humble abode Saturday and left me an award. Yeah, imagine that.  This is not a meme. I don't have to answer 400 questions about myself and forward it on to 800 fellow bloggers or anything like that. In EG's words: I follow a lot of blogs, and often I come across posts that I feel deserve to be read by as many people as possible. So I give an award for a blog well done. And the link for others to click on. And indeed she did. In a post on her blog Saturday she passed on the Goddess Post Of The Week Award to me and a couple of other bloggers. Cool, eh? And it moves! Well it sure moved me. EG passed this award on to me for my post from Friday last week One Pill Makes You Larger . Thanks, EG. I'm honoured. The other piece of news I wanted to share with you is an upcoming guest post I've been asked to undertake. Recognize this? It's the masthead f...

I don't know about other bloggers but I'm always a tad conflicted when a colleague out there gives me an award.  I'm pleased to have been recognized for my work but I'm wary of the work involved in accepting the award. Usually these awards come with conditions and this involves some serious thought or research.  And often you have to pass these awards on to a number of bloggers of your choice which means going to their blogs to obtain their URL and then linking to them from your blog. That's work!  And for me - basically a somewhat lazy kind of guy - I'm pooped by the time I've finished my post of acceptance. I checked my awards page and in the last 14 months I've received 32 awards.  Isn't that nuts?  12 of those were for winning a caption contest and the majority of the rest were related to my writing. I'm beginning to think there are fewer humour bloggers out there than there are awards. I know I often run out of people to pass an awar...

There's a saying that goes, "When I was a little boy, they called me a liar, but now that I am grown up, they call me a writer." Leeuna, a very funny blogger at My Mind Wandered - and it never came back , and regular commenter here at nonamedufus has given me an award that reflects that saying.  Look at what it's called: I don't know who the heck Lesa is.  I guess she started the award.  And she must have dreamed up the meme that goes with it.  Thanks.  I like memes about as much as a coffee enema. It goes like this: - thank the person who gave you the award - copy the logo and place it on your blog - link to the person who nominated you - tell up to six outrageous lies about yourself and at least one outrageous truth, or vice-versa - nominate seven "creative" writers - post links to the blogs you nominate - leave a comment on each blog letting them know they've won the award Here are the lies/truths: 1. I once participated in the ...

I won an award - two actually.  Frank Lee MieDere at I Don't Give A Damn gave me a Sunshine Award May 10th in his post  Is this irony? Or What?    (I guess Frank gives a damn after all!) Then on May 17 00dozo at When I Reach also gave me a Sunshine Award in her post    But, Why Me?? I'm Just a Lowly Rookie! Both of these blogger buddies said they admired me for keeping my sense of humour throughout my recent medical malady (that cancer treatment thingy).   You may have noticed I was away for close to a month.  Yep.  But I'm back and things are getting better everyday.  I'm writing a couple of posts a week down, certainly, from my post a day.  So in the coming months my output will be down from what it used to be and I may cut back on the number of blogs I maintain.  We'll see. I want to thank everyone for their e-mails, Tweets, Facebook messages and comments on my blog both before my procedure and after. ...

What a gorgeous day in the neighbourhood, Mr. Rogers.  It's 28 in the nation's capital.  That's 82 for my American friends.  And the sun is just beating down.  What great weather for the first Saturday of April!  And what better time to tell you that my good friend Cat Lady Larew bestowed a Sunshine Award upon me earlier this week. Isn't that cool?!  Thanks CL. I'll tell you what else is cool.  The submissions to this week's Pause Ponder and Pun were hilarious.  I tell you it gets harder each week to narrow down these captions to just one winner. See for yourself. Ziva came up with a real zinger... C'mon honey, it's only until death do us part. Kelly cracked me up with... I swore I would get married by age 30 no matter what and you...are...it! Webless 00dozo offered... "It's not that I can't, I just don't wanna do the 'Chicken Dance'!" But it was newcomer Malisa who really made me laugh with... ...

Easy, easy, yes you're seeing double.  On Sunday, although I didn't learn till Tuesday, bloggin' buddy Cat Lady bestowed the Best Follower Award upon nonamedufus .  On Tuesday, wouldn't you know another bloggin' buddy - Quirkyloon - awarded me the same psuedo pstatuette.  Now either this means they really admire me, my blog and the comments I leave on their posts OR our bloggin' circle of influence is seriously shrinking.  I prefer to believe the former regardless of how true the latter might tend to be. So thanks, guys, that was really nice of you and I deeply appreciate it.  Imagine, not one but two of the same awards in the same week. What?  The questions?  What questions?  To paraphrase my favourite movie line, from Treasure of the Sierra Madre , "I don't have to show you any stinkin' questions".  Oh...I do?  I was actually hoping you guys would forget.  Hell I had to answer less questions on my last tax form last yea...

It's been a while since I've updated folks on where my cancer's at.  Well, it's still right where it was before.  The latest development, though, is a drop in my hemoglobin levels which unfortunately makes me anemic.  So I've been kinda tired lately; little energy for anything; poor appetite.  But I'm on a new medication that should help me with that. But my doctor's seem pleased with my lab results.  The chemo appears to be having an impact, apart from making me feel like crap.  I've been on the chemo since October.  Funny, eh?  It's like the worse I feel the better I am.  But I'm not fooling myself.  Yet to be scheduled is the radiation and a bone marrow transplant.  So the real fun is yet to come. Did you hear about the guy who's doctor told him he had cancer and only 6 months to live?  When he asked the doctor what he should do the doc said move to Saskatoon and live with an economist.  The guys says, "Will that ma...

Holy crap between here and my Facebook page we had about 40 captions submitted this week. I'm not sure if everyone wanted to beat Moooooog or if folks just have a thing for fat people. And the quality of these captions was amazing. People just had their thinking caps on this week. There was some funny, funny stuff... For example, Moooooog , the master at our little contest came up with several good captions. One in particular cast a giant shadow (get it?): When Jenny said that egg sandwiches go "right to her thighs" she really wasn't kidding. Cat Lady Larew weighed in with (tee-hee): The great thing about thunderthighs like Sylvia's is that you never have to waste money on bikini waxing. Mr. Knucklehead made an impression [ ;) ;) ] with: It's tough to keep smilin' with this air hose shoved up my ass but I'm a-tryin' And Nooter demonstrated a heavy-duty sense of humour with: e-harmony's match for the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man But our win...

Okay, I think I'm just gonna call this caption contest Weekly Moooooog Mania . The moooooogster has turned in the winning caption for the second week in a row with.... And later that same evening President Ahmadinejad showed Ben his mighty warhead. Well done moooooog . You be... Oh, and by the way, last week I was hanging with Mad-Mad Margo. Yep, she awarded me a Golden Phallus for winning her caption contest last Saturday. You can read all about it here . Thanks Margo. Of course the fact that I did a full-length feature of your contribution to the Humor Bloggers Dot Com Injustice Campaign probably had nothing to do with my success. Nah, I'd give it back if I thought my brown-nosing resulted in my receiving this award...not. I practice safe brown-nosing

You know, the wrong-righters over at Humor Bloggers Dot Com are fighting injustice this month. How's this for an injustice: there's only one winner in our caption contest. There was no shortage of great captions to toss around, though. And the judges had a tough time wrestling with their decision. Don pinned down: The Olympic swim team...see what Jenny Craig can do for you. Not to be cornered, Knucklehead countered with: Not too long afterward a fight broke out at the Japanese Village People auditions, amidst screams of "I GET TO BE THE SUMO WRESTLER" And Haley got a headlock on the competition with: And with the swimsuit competition finished the judges will now tally the scores and announce the next Mr Newark, NJ 2009 But link-less newcomer ba_hutch went the full 3 rounds with: To show the world there is no shame in adult incontinence, Huggies recently hosted a huge "Don't Hold Back" conference where they rolled out their new line of sumo-depe...

We had some great captions this week. It was hard to decide on a winner. For example, I loved Me-Me's caption: Not only is Melvin wresting with his saint and sinner sides, he's also wrestling with keeping his pants up Another great line came from last week's winner, moooooog , with: Geppetto couldn't help but feel deeply disappointed at how his little boy ended up turning out. But I've got to go with the caption from our latest member of the humour blog Witness Protection Program, DK@Knucklehead who came up with... As the police report would later reflect, Howard's GPS had inadvertently taken him to Charlotte, North Carolina and their "Dale Earnhardt Jr. Day" parade. DK...need I say it? You be hanging' with the Dufus. Congratulations man. ***** Meanwhile, here in Dufus land it was a kinda exciting week. Quirkyloon bestowed upon me her rarely awarded Quombie award for my efforts at Zombie poetry last week. Thanks, Quirks but no, you can't e...

Hey I said NOT your Average White Band (hmmm, Ive always liked that album cover). But techincally this post is about AWB but in this case that's Award Winning Bloggers , brought to you today in 3 parts: Part I Screw You and The Elephant You Rode In On Well, everyone managed to take a potshot at POTUS this week. It wasn't exactly what you'd call a flattering picture. In fact, it was downright gay. It only makes sense that some of the comments were too. Let's see who said what... lotgk came up with Adam Lambert has nothing on me. Renal Failure said So... this is what Glenn Beck sees every time he looks at the President, eh? No wonder he cries all the time. and Don posted Think I'm stuntin' like my daddy now? Ya should get a load of what I'm sitting on! But our real Washington weiner this week was moooooog with his Obama double-whamma: ..and you people wonder why I vote Republican. and Obama later regrets having his inauguration suit designed by the Queer ...

The other day I came across something called the Chevy Nova Awards. They're called that in honor of the General Motors fiasco in trying to market this car in Central and South America. "No va" means, of course, in Spanish, "it doesn't go". The following are the top three Chevy Nova nominees: 1) The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention the Spanish translation read "Are you lactating?" 2) Coors put its slogan, "Turn It Loose," into Spanish, where it was read as "Suffer From Diarrhea." Yeah I can relate to that! 3) Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing sucks like an Electrolux." Hmmm... If you wanna see the rest, hit up this site . Speaking of awards, last week, right out of the blue, I received an Awesome Blogger Friend award from a fell...