Review Round Up 9/27/19

Unus by Necronomicon (Season of Mist) 10/18/19

Remember Chicken Soup For The Soul? It would seem improbable that they had a tome for the metal fan, but many times that's precisely how it feels to me.

Today, we have a new record by Necronomicon.

They remind me of bands like Kiss. Because in being honest, there's nothing here that's awe inspiring, wow inducing, and they never kick anything out that makes me stare at my speakers.

That's fine and dandy. These Canadians don't need to tread a new path in order to make awesome music. Their fierce brand of Traditional Second Wave Canadian Blackened Death Metal was the perfect antidote to my morning and that's enough to make me put this one on my to buy vinyl list.

Rating A Bandcamp Facebook

LP Review: "The Den" by Freighter

The  Den

My good friends, I stand before you because we are faced with an evil that's been sneaking around the cities.

Downtown shopping areas all across this formerly great nation of ours have been affected and there's nary an Old Navy in sight due to this scourge.

Unfortunately, the drug using youth of the cities is spilling out into the suburbs. What used to be wonderful cornucopias of chain restaurants is now going to beholden to bebop hepcats.

How are we supposed to combat their attractive subversiveness?

Should these San Franciscans ooze west into Nevada, well, after they spend all their dollars at the those houses of ill repute, they'll continue their odyssey east.

Then after they've sinned profusely in Colorado and depleted the evergreens of their godliness, my friends, they'll be in Kansas. The strong and moral folks of Kansas will be of no match for this meth fueled take on The Dazzling Killmen.

Before you know it, they'll be in Missouri and then what will those Midwestern Meth dealers have to sell after their products have been stolen by Freighter.

Let's not even consider what needs to be done in order to save downstate Illinois from the coming of the locusts. Those poor bastards have already been destroyed because of their continual voting for Conservative Legislators who hate them.

Then they'll have to deal with this? Indiana, I weep for your future losses. Ohio... I will not even weep for you as you're already destroyed.

RELEASE 7/12/19 BANDCAMP FACEBOOK

LP Review: "Failure To Thrive" by Cazador

Failure To Thrive

After forming in 2015, Bostonian Sludge Doom Gloom Metal trio, Cazador, have released a single, and EP, and now they're preparing their full length debut.

Even though it's been a big topic, the season is over now and we're moving on.

On their EP, they have a song called Seppuku.

That alone is enough to get me to check out your newest and every subsequent record. Especially if you end up with a track called Fallen Diamyo....

Their latest release, Failure To Thrive is one of those releases that makes the most sense in context.

Were it available as such, this would be a perfect record to buy on vinyl because it's best heard front to back. In a world where many bands don't make albums anymore, this is a nice change of pace.

But it's not as much of an album as it is one giant song. The cover captures its essence ever so well. Imagine being bent over on a park bench because you just can't fight the injustice in the world anymore.

Failure To Thrive would be your soundtrack.

It's gloomy, thick, and angry. Cazador's debut LP doesn't fit neatly into any metal subgenre...which is how those terms came to exist anyway. Turn it on and prepare to take a ride.

RELEASE 7/12/19 BANDCAMP FACEBOOK

LP Review: "Iltheist" by Iltheist

Iltheist

This has been a long time coming for me. Exceedingly long time readers and twitter followers my remember my promulgations of praise for the English Blackened Death Metal band, Aetherium Mors.

It's been five years now and finally they have come out of hibernation. The only thing is that they've changed up their name to Iltheist.

OK. That's fine by me. It's just great that we've got some new music to consider and today's a great day for death metal.

Things have changed in the previous five years. Their previous releases sounded heavily influenced by Carcass, which is great, but they've moved away from the classic English Death Metal sound.

Though they have always had black metal leanings, this one more of a deathened black metal album. If that's not a thing, let's make it one! With both their name and style changing, it's more difficult to find the threads of the influences and that's a great statement to make about a band.

They were able to keep everything I loved about Aetherium Mors and add in new things I didn't know they needed. Ilthiest is not only a worthy successor to their previous work, but it surpasses everything they have released up till now.

RELEASE 6/21/19 BANDCAMP FACEBOOK

LP Review: "Northernmost" by Cold Colours

Northernmost

In a case of art imitating life, I'd like to point your ears towards a doom and death metal band from Minnesota.

Minnesota, for our international readers, is nearly the northernmost state in the United States. Unless you include: Alaska, Maine, and other freak states that aren't Minnesota.

Moving on to the next bit, Cold Colours has taken to using the superfluous U that the Angols and Canucks tend to stick in places where it doesn't belong.

It makes it hard to type your name, fellas.

A quick scan of the album's titles will show that the title track(?) is a recurring theme and is spread out all over the record itself.

Like any Doom band worth mentioning, Cold Colours oozes emotional angst. On the flipside, it also gets a bit deathy here and there with some brutal vocals. The entire album is a bit like Northern Minnesota.

It hovers between being American and being Canadian, just like this band hovers between melodious and brutal. It's a beautiful piece of art that never hesitates to show the listener its ugly side.

RELEASE 2/22/19 BANDCAMP FACEBOOK

EP Review: "Fresh Grass" by Grass

Fresh Grass

The most important thing you can be is true to yourself.

That's why I love stoner metal. It's got this swing, this flex, and this swirl that few other things in this world have.

That's actually the only reason I love stoner metal, not because I'm a stoner.

Grass, well, they've got no qualms wearing their recreational activities on their sleeves. Hopefully, they'll only be touring where it's legal. (Just so you know guys, Missouri legalized medical marijuana...)

The tales of redneck cops waiting for bands crossing state lines are many. The bands tell them outside the clubs.

Fresh Grass had one of them digital only releases last year, but this year, the record emerges from the smoke and into the physical realm. Kind of like when Dungeon Master always shows up.

There's no question it's a shorty, but those minutes are packed with fuzz enhanced vitamins. Put this on, and the setting is right to check out of your head.

RELEASE 2/22/19 BANDCAMP FACEBOOK

LP Review: "Album IV: A Brave New World" by Ivan Tsanov

Album IV: A Brave New World

There's no other Bulgarian musicians that immediately spring to my mind.

Ivan Tsanov, for me, is now the face of all Bulgarian Music. There's no other way to think of that if you're a Bulgarian musician, is that this is horribly unfair.

This is probably like Steve Vai being the face of all American musicians. How many other people can live up to that?

Tsanov is a classically trained, instrumental guitarist, or he plays on one records anway.

This album here...it's a bit unique to my ears. The style isn't like Satch or Vai, but even though it's classically inspired, it doesn't strike me of Yngwie Malmsteen either.

There's probably a spot between two worlds where there's a bit of a collision between Malmsteen and Vai. If so, that's where Ivan Tsanov is plying his trade.

RELEASE 1/18/19 ORDER 

LP Review: "Emergence" by Basilysk

Emergence

There comes a time when...well when it's time to push the tables against the walls, put on that death metal record, and listen to the speakers hum.

In the years and decades since the likes of Morbid Angel, Carcass, and Obituary came into my sphere, Death Metal, proper death metal, has held a violent spot in my heart.

The blast beats, the overlong solos, the rough and monotonous vocals, they all add up to the thing that makes the riffs.

The Old School Death Metal formula is little more than boiling water, but it's so hard to get right. And by right, I mean that it creates music that I relate to.

Comparative newcomers, Basilysk, are able to scratch that itch. Honestly, a big part of that has to do with the engineering of this record. The levels aren't making the drums crush your ribs. The vocals don't overshadow the riffs.

When Death Metal is mixed just right, it becomes a delicious red velvet cake. (Get it? Red Velvet Cake is like...you know...red..blood colored? Violent?)

When the blast beat breakdowns hit, there's literally nothing in death metal today better. The rest of the album though? It's not exactly shabby either. Make sure you don't miss out.

RELEASE 2/22/19 BANDCAMP FACEBOOK

LP Review: "Hymns For The Hollow" by Leach

Hymns For The Hollow

It might be well past time to add a slight separation to the Thrash Metallers.

Looking at the Big Four: Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth, and Anthrax., and see the one who's a little different than the others?

Somehow, Anthrax's vocal style has become more associated with Thrash to me than the others and it's less than pleasing to me.

Leach has thrown their lot in with Slayer and Co. The vocals are shouted, grunted, and forced out with reckless abandon and a complete disregard for melody.

It's significantly refreshing because, well, thrash can be very dry. So how does a band give a new take on one of the eldest heavy metal subgenres?

Instead of vocal melody and musicality, there's a strong focus on the riffs and the interplay therein. Looking back at the works of the elders, there's strong riffing, but little time is spent with the instruments working in concert, at least in the beginning.

In a time when I shy away from any music bearing the word thrash, Leach has made me a believer again.

RELEASE 1/18/19 BANDCAMP FACEBOOK

Vinyl Review: "Shadows From The Past" by Lords of the Trident

Shadows From The Past

Growing up and listening to all make and manner of metal, the old people whom I lived with: parents, step-parents, common law step parents, and whatever the hell some of those other people were, routinely told me about how metal wasn't music.

Lords of the Trident however....

This would be like that time in Futurama when Bender said, that's no lady, that's a man bot! Her response, "One more upgrade and I'll be more lady than you can handle, stupid."

That's what's happening right here.

Now, let's not get all put off about their outfits. Music is a show and these gents here are ready to make you more immersed in what they're doing. In fact, this isn't something to look down upon, but something to applaud. (Please Note: I'm a Kiss fan.....and GWAR...and Bit Force....etc.)

Like the previously noted bands, Madison, Wisconsin's The Lords of the Trident aren't just on-stage costumes, though that is debatable now with KISS....

Vinyl Review: "Belly of the Whale" by Ambassador

Belly of the Whale

Centuries ago New Orleans and St. Louis were a part of the same territory, The Louisiana Territory.

Other parts of the nation that don't have that direct connection to France don't feel the way we do here. Online pundits make fun of St. Louis for being the Gateway To The West.

But, we're proud of our historical position. We still remember a time when St. Louis was the European's frontier.

A family of New Orleanians (who came directly from France) made the arduous trek north and founded The City of St. Louis.

Louisiana, we're still siblings. So, we don't still make our living on the fur trade and you're still making yours off of...wait..

What was the New Orleanian method of money making back in the old days? Well, if it wasn't terribly obvious, Amabassador is from Louisiana, Baton Rouge to be specific.

Those old connections though, they never really die. Though my family isn't native to St. Louis, their music still speaks to me via French back channels. (Also, I'm not French.)

EP Review: "Crucifixion of Hope" by Vulturic Eye

The Crucifixion of Hope

There was time back in my early youth, when heavy metal was still an anomaly. When its definition was still amorphous. 

For years, the two strongest metal bands were Black Sabbath and Judas Priest. These two founding fathers created much of what was to come later.

Metal bands took a side. Either the twin gun attack of Priest or the progressive psychedelia of Sabbath and never the twain shall meet. (Unless you're Iron Maiden and you took the twin gun of the former and the progressiveness of the latter and added in Bruce Dickinson.)

What if you could have a progressive and psychedelic version of Judas Priest? Take those visceral metal riffs and give it a liberal dusting of blues? Could Rob Halford sing Sabbath? (Don't answer that.)

Vulturic Eye has taken these two originators, these revolutionaries, and put them together in a way that Priest is toe tapping or that Sabbath sounds like a chainsaw.

They only saw fit to bless us with a single side of music on this EP. It's time for them to give us a proper album. Explore the space and crush our faces.

Release 11/5/18 BANDCAMP FACEBOOK

Road Warriors with Lords of the Trident

Lords of the Trident

Do you remember that amazing video game magazine that came out way back when?

It was called Nintendo Power.

No? Well, perhaps you're not quite as old as your friend and humble narrator. Well, What about that TV show, Home Improvement?

Oh, well maybe when you were in Primary School you caught an episode here and there right? 

Well, those things and America's Lords of the Trident feature large amounts of power.

If you're interested how much ridiculous power they have, check out their latest DIY album HERE.

It could be overpowering, because they're power metal.

Get it?

LP Review: "Ah Puch" by Dirge

Ah Puch

There is something very special about Doom Metal to me. It's the one type of metal that reaches out to touch the ancients. So, Doom always gets a look from me.

Pune, India's Dirge is preparing to unleash their concept album about ancient Mayan mythology onto the rest of the world. Thanks to the magic of the internet, this indie record can be in your ears too.

A doom metal concept record from a country without a vaunted metal scene. This ticks all of my boxes personally, but none of that matters without the strength of the music to back it up.

This is a slow tempo, Godzilla stomp of a doom metal record. The thick sludge has just the right amount of filth to it. One can almost feel the sweltering jungles of the Yucatan.

Ah Puch has just enough musical diversity mixed in with droning doom to keep the long songs and album flowing on an even keel. The vocals are pained and impassioned. The guitars are riffy. The rhythm section holds the flow to a steady drip drip pace.

Ah Puch has put Dirge on my radar.

Release: 10/19/18 FACEBOOK BANDCAMP

Vinyl Review: "A Line Cook's Guide To New Satanic Empires" by Mike Nicolai

A Line Cook's Guide To New Satanic Empires

Let me start off with another genuine apology. Both to you and Mike Nicolai.

As I type this, I'm in my bedroom. It's connected to the sitting room on my second floor. My sitting room is where we listen to records, drink beer, and play old school video games.

It's still in a total state of disarray and honestly, it totally sucks. The plus side, it's kind of nice drinking IPA's in my bed and not feeling like a total creeper as I've got a legit excuse to do so.

The issue is, it's harder to do my vinyl reviews as it requires that room to do them properly. It seems unseemly to give you a great look at my sitting room all mahoobered up. There's plastic everywhere, plaster dust everywhere, and there's a goodly smattering of paint chips.

Vinyl Review: "Unzip The Horizon" by Moira Smiley

Unzip The Horizon

There was once a time in my life that I could only listen to the most extreme music.

Or at the very least that it would be wrong to listen to music that didn't have the right instruments in it.

Could you possibly picture someone like me listening to a banjo album?

Why the very idea!

(Don't worry Twilight Fauna, Sam Gleaves, Tall Tall Trees, and yes, Steve Martin, I'm leading up to something.)

Even more repellent would be listening to acoustic music that wasn't folk music and by folk music, naturally we mean songs like If I Had A Hammer and the what not.

LP Review: "I Shall Forgive" by The Erkonauts

I Shall Forgive

It's hard to think of this, but it's true.

There was a time where Faith No More and Infectious Grooves did not exist.

When the only time you were hearing those funky ass bass lines was in...well funk and whatever the hell The Red Hot Chili Peppers are.

Then, this new thing surfaced. You could listen to heavy music with dat funky butt bass. Jason Newsted attempted to add this sort of thing to Metallica, who knows if it ever made it past the editing room.

Infectious Grooves and Faith No More were the beginnings of a new kind of metal. Then bands like White Zombie and Pantera took this idea and made it more mainstream by making it less crazy.

EP Review: "Starved and Hanging" by Eye of the Destroyer

Starved and Hanging

Eye of the Destroyer is a band who's racked up some pretty impressive numbers of followers on social media.

We've been online buddies for awhile now.

Finally, we have an opportunity to review some of their music. Their latest EP, Starved and Hanging, is getting a physical release which means, it's finally being birthed into the world as a real thing.

It's a bit of a shorty, but we're going to do our best to talk about it, shall we?

It's only four tracks and about eleven minutes long, but those eleven minutes are sheer brutality.

This EP starts off angry and stays that way the throughout the entire time. There's a touch of ambiance before the thumping...it's a nice little touch.

LP Review: "Black Soil" by Apathy Noir

Black Soil

In St. Louis we have been dealing with a painful cold snap.

For the vast majority of us here, this type of cold is unfathomable, unthinkable, and unlivable.

For me, I just add a hoodie to my great coat ensemble and get going. My car warms up fast enough. There's an electric blanket on my seat.

Waking up in the mornings and seeing minus temperatures (in Fahrenheit no Celsius) can take us aback.

That kind of cold permeates the day. We've had precious little snow during this time, but the just cold is a bit worse here. The world is grey. The skies are grey. Our faces are sallow. The whole of our existences revolves around the cold. This is made doubly bad when your furnace goes kaputsky....

Split EP Review: "Split" by Into the Storm and Smooth Sailing

Split

At this very moment, the final strains of the first side of this EP are ringing and my ramen is getting cold enough to eat without slurping, as I never learned how to do that properly.

(Ramen is a personal choice and I love it! So come at me.)

Plans were made to take a break and begin writing furiously, they failed.

Then there's that holiday break that you don't want to know about. Let's just say, no matter how much you might want to be me (as if there was one person that could say it...), you'd be totally pitying me after this past two weeks.

In fact, my life has been so unreal lately that only a terrible writer for Full House could've dreamed this up.

So what do you do when shit hits the fan and there's nothing left to do but laugh at your own misfortune and wait for the knot on the back of your head to stop hurting? You invite some old friends over and just rock the fuck out.