2015 Horror Movies

I see you shiver with antici.....

...pation!

Sorry. It was very late when I thought of this post and I didn't want to forget to do it. 

Whatever regular readers I have left know about my love of Horror movies, good and bad. And I'm always on the lookout for some interesting, original and startling works. And 2015 seems quite promising for this jaded genre guru. 

Four upcoming Horror movies have particularly caught my attention with some rather intense trailers. And while I'd love to talk about Guillermo del Toro's Gothic ghost movie Crimson Peak, there isn't any footage from the closely-guarded film to share just yet. Still, these four upcomings movies are pinging high on my personal radar!

 First up, a film from writer/director Adam Green (Hatchet; Frozen - no not  the Disney one). In Digging Up the Marrow, genre veteran Ray Wise plays a man who claims to have discovered an underground realm in which real monsters reside. 

New writer/director David Robert Mitchell makes his wide-distribution debut with It Follows, an interesting take on "Tag. You're It!" Starring no one you know, the very atmospheric trailer seems like it could be the start of several careers.

Chris Sparling, writer of the claustrophobic Ryan Reynolds movie Buried, directs The Atticus Institute, about an attempt by the military to weaponize demonic possession. It's one of the most insane movie concepts I can imagine and I can't wait to see it!

And while this last movie is actually a prequel, I'm still very excited to see it. James Wan's Insidious was one of the most effective Horror movies of the last 10 years, though it's sequel disappointed. Wan's long-time writing partner Leigh Whannel makes directing debut with Insidious Chapter 3:

I know there will plenty more Horror movies in the coming year. What movies are you looking forward to seeing in 2015?

More, anon.
 Prospero

Strange Bedfellows or: End of the Weekend Gratuitisness

PA State Representative Brian Sims of Philadelphia

This has been a rough week for the country, and especially the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and in particular, the city of Boston and its suburb, Watertown (and I have the audacity to complain about a bad movie...).  A very long time ago, someone I once knew told me "The worst thing that is ever going to happen to you no matter what, and you have very little control over it, so why live in fear of it? Embrace your finite mortality and engage in every moment of your life, even your dreams. They are all we'll ever have." He may have been stoned at the time (shh... don't tell) but he was right. It took me a long to actually process what that really meant.

Anyway, I thought the majority of my readers (straight women and other gay men) might want to just have a moment to ourselves and share some happy, probably Safe for Work beefcake, if only to bring a smile you face.

That's openly gay and super-hot State Rep Brian Sims making my blog look so good, right off the bat. A champion of Equality, the 35 year old is the first openly gay person to be elected to the Pennsylvania General Assembly and remains the only openly gay football captain in the NCAA while at Bloomsburg University. Sims received his Juris Doctorate at Michigan State and served as both the President of Equality Pennsylvania and Chairman of Gay and Lesbian Lawyers of Philadelphia. Talk about husband material. Sorry ladies. this one's ours.

Of course, that doesn't mean we can't share. You know you want the Ryans as much as we do:

Sensitive; enigmatic; baby-faced Gosling is simply irresistible with his knowing smile and non-judgmental eyes and smoking hot body! And he can actually act!

Reynolds, on the other hand, just exudes sexy. The Canadian actor's insanely hot body; 'Boy-Next-Door' good looks and generally genial manner make up for the nonsense that was Green Lantern. Seriously, what kind of moron hides that body in a CGI suit?

Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris.... Oh, sorry. Got a little lost there for a moment. He's been both the Human Torch and Captain America. Evans stopped listening to the agent who told him to keep his clothes on, thank goodness.

  

Bollywood Superstar Hrithric Roshan will always be on my list of Things That Make Me Happy.

Of course, there's always my personal Obsession:

Feel better. I know I do. Hope this week is better for all of us!

More, anon.
Prospero

A Trailer Quickie

So, there's a new trailer for Green Lantern, DC's answer to Captain America. It stars my #3 obsession* Ryan Reynolds as Hal Jordan, the first human chosen to be a protector of the Universe. Or something - Green Lantern was not one of my favorite DC characters and I actually know very little about him, other than he is one of hundreds of Green Lanterns throughout the Universe.

Reynolds is a Canadian hottie who worked his way through the Hollywood system, starting with the abysmal TV sitcom "Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place" which also starred the much-hotter-at-the-time Richard Ruccolo (All Over the Guy) and adorably gorgeous "Castle" and Slither star, Nathan Fillion. Sadly, Ruccolo's career seems to have stalled while Reynolds' and Fillion's  have taken stratospheric leaps.

Anyway, Green Lantern opens June 17th, the weekend before Die Mommie Die!, which means I may actually get to see it before hell week begins. Here's the newest trailer, via Yahoo!Movies:

And in case you're wondering, my top five obsessions are:

1. Jason Statham
2. Chris Evans
3. Ryan Reynolds
4. Bradley Cooper
5. John Cena (Yeah, I know...)
And a Special Mention to Nathan Fillion...

More, anon.
Prospero

Do Over: Hot Super Edition.

Let's try this again, shall we? This post's original title was "Supers Hot" but after the great Firefox Fail of 2011, I tweaked it.

This weekend sees the first of three in Marvel's Avengers saga, Thor. Relative newcomer Chris Hemsworth stars as one of Stan Lee's odder Supers, in that he is neither human nor alien, but an actual Norse god trapped on Earth. My only associations to the character are the 70's Saturday cartoon version and an astonishingly young and gorgeous Vincent D'Onofrio in Adventures in Baby Sitting, which leaves me actually looking forward to seeing what a director like Kenneth Brannaugh does with material that is probably among the more absurd Super Heroes in the Marvel universe.

Marvel also has another specimen of male perfection in Captain America: The First Avenger. Starring the stunnningness that is Chris Evans (above) as Steve Rogers/Captain America, a 90 lb weakling who forgoes Charles Atlas and volunteers for a secret military experiment to create a Super Soldier Ironically, there's an iconic cover featuring Cap punching Hitler in the face. And if I remember, weren't Addie and Hermie actually trying to create a race of Ubermensch ? Anyway, Captain America has been since WWII and has almost as long a history as Superman. Like many comic book Supers, Steve Rogers is no longer the Captain in the current version of the comic, having been replaced at least once, but I couldn't tell you by whom. Hit-or-Miss director Joe Johnston has his work cut out for him in tying in a character from a different era into the set-in-the present Avengers. Of course, I've had my eye on Evans ever since his debut in Larry Cohen's ridiculous but thoroughly entertaining Cellular, which also starred My Obsession. Evans just gets better and better... and his acting has improved, as well... (rimshot). Watch this while I go cool off:

And Marvel competitor, DC isn't sitting out the summer. The also stunning Ryan Reynolds is Hal Jordan, aka Green Lantern. After an alien crash lands on Earth, Jordan finds himself in possession of a mysterious ring and lamp, which the dying ET in the UFO says chose him. Hal has been designated arth's Green Lantern, one of thousands throughout the Universe. The mostly green-screen and CGI movie also stars Peter Sarsgaard; Mark Strong; Geoffrey Rush and Tim Robbins. 

Reynolds may not be the best actor in the world, but he's not terrible. And I know lots of folks who could spend hours just looking at him.... Too bad the costume is CGI, too. Then again, Ryan in real tights might just be too much to handle in a mature and respectful manner. The latest trailer makes Green Lantern look pretty a-frickin-mazing:

And while not exactly a comic book hero, pulp writer Robert E. Howard's Conan the Barbarian has been resurrected in the form of Pacific Islander Jason Mamoa, who could be rocketed to stardom (like Conan's first portrayer who went on to something... um...I want to say politcal? Conversely, he could be starring in his one and only major studio film. 

Mamoa was on "Baywatch," I guess. He had bad dreds, from all the pictures I could find. And he wasn't nearly as big. There's something about the shape of his eyebrows that bothers me, but they may just be enhanced for "barbaric" effect. And of course, it's not like they would be a deal-breaker, if you know what I mean. Mamoa's amazing body certainly looks more natural than the former Governor's did in the same role. Of course, 10 minutes with Mamoa's trainer would in all likelihood literally kill Uncle P. And then where would all of you be left? Sigh...

I hope you watched all those in Full Screen. And I hope you all realized that this Summer is the kind of summer gay fanboys dream about...

More, anon.
Prospero

All Over the Place

I was going to do a "Forgotten Gems" post tonight but after my usual round of surfing, I came across a couple of other things I wanted to talk about, first.

Does anyone else remember 1979's Star Trek: The Motion Picture? That's Iranian model Persis Khambatta as Illia, a character who is killed and replicated by V-Ger in the movie. While essentially an expanded (and exceptionally boring) episode from the original series, the first 'Star Trek' movie posits that Voyager I went to the furthest depths of space where it essentially became a sentient being after encountering a silicon-based race of aliens. Because of space wear-and-tear (I guess), it called itself "V-Ger" and demanded to be reunited with its creator. Illia became V-Ger's avatar aboard the Enterprise and eventually she/it merged with Stephen Collins' ("No Ordinary Family") character in cinema's first intergalactic orgasm. Damn! Collins was sure pretty then, wasn't he?

So, what does that have to do with anything? Well, launched by NASA in 1977, Voyager I is now poised to become the first man-made object to actually leave the Milky Way. Discover Magazine is reporting that Voyager I, while no longer propelled by solar winds, is about to move into deep space, potentially fulfilling it's cinematically prophesied destiny. This story has restored my fascination with deep-space travel and everything we don't know about Life, the Universe and Everything (which I doubt actually adds up to 42, which non-nerds should look up).

Okay. On to other sort-of related movie news. Take a deep breath, boys (and str8 gals). The Sexiest Man Alive is single again! Salacious gossip site TMZ (via) is reporting that Ryan Reynolds and his wife of two years Scarlett Johansson, are divorcing. I, for one, would be more than happy to console the poor boy. Anyone care to join me in that effort? I mean after Alanis and Scarlett, surely he must be looking for something different, no?

And since we're (okay, I'm) already talking about movies, (also via) New York Magazine has posted this gallery of the best film performances of 2010 that will not be winning any awards. Surprisingly, I agree with most of their choices.

And finally, (via) comes the trailer for the Most Unnecessary Sequel Ever, Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides.  Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush return, joined by "Deadwood" alum Ian McShane; Dame Judi Dench and the oh-so-creepy* Penelope Cruz in this fourth installment in Disney's ride-turned-into-a-movie. This time, directorial duties are taken up by Chicago director Rob Marshall. May God have mercy on them all. Though I will give it a shout out because it does it does feature zombies...

*I'm glad I'm not alone in my assessment of Cruz's creepiness, as my oldest friend Q thinks she's creepy, too. It's her mouth, I think. It looks like it was badly drawn by a child with a crayon or something. Of course, she's now married to Javier Bardem (and with child), so maybe her "creepy" quotient will decrease after she whelps... Ooh - that was kind of cruel, wasn't it? Still, she makes me throw up in my mouth a little, every time I see her. Maybe it's just me.

I promise to post my "Forgotten Gem" tomorrow.

More, anon.
Prospero

More Sci-Fi Silliness (or not)

I'm probably last to report that uber-hot Ryan Reynolds' amazing body has been cast as DC's newest Superhero, The Green Lantern. Personally, my choice has always been Nathan Fillion ("Firefly;" Slither; and "Castle"). But to be honest, I could easily spend two hours watching Ryan wear Spandex (honestly, who couldn't? - even str8 boys are like, "Damn! Ryan is hot!"). At least three of my friends (Nicole, Bruce and Laura) find him as hot as I do. Laura and I actually sat through the entire piece of crap that was The Amityville Horror remake, just to see how much time he would spend with his shirt off and his pants sagging. Of course, Laura and I find many of the same men attractive, tragically. I say 'tragically' because inevitably, the guy we both think is the cutest in a horror movie, is among the first (if not THE first) character killed (unless of course, he's the lead, which is rare).

Case in point - Tuc Watson in The Mummy. Tuc plays an American adventurer simply named "Mr. Burns," according to IMDb. Except he's the first to encounter the resurrected Imhotep and he pays for it by having his eyes and tongued ripped out his head! No fair! Delectable Brendan Frasier may well be the star, and yummy mummy Arnold Vosloo the hot villain, but Tuc was the boy I wanted to cuddle up to at the end of a long day...

Anyway, with Ryan as both an Marvel Villain and a DC Hero he'll be providing plenty of eye-candy for many years to come...

And just for giggles, here is something I may have posted before; a meticulously well-done fan-made trailer for the Nathan Fillion version of The Green Lantern:

And since ComicCon is so very close, I had to post some geeky movie thing or other. Well, here is an exclusive sneak-peek at Tron2:

Ha-ha! Fooled you! Though, probably not. I just thought it was pretty funny. The thing I most remember about the original Tron, was that it gave me a headache.

Oh, well. Onward with my celebrating. My birthday week kicked off with D and I making our appointment for our new ink August 1st! Very excited!

Tomorrow afternoon, I am off to a matinee of Moon, the acclaimed film from director Duncan Jones, starring Zaphod Beeblebrox himself, Sam Rockwell and Kevin Spacey's voice. I will be joined by Janet and Dale and possibly D. Here's the trailer for Moon:

My full review, anon.

Prospero

5 for 5

I stopped watching the Academy Awards after Heath Ledger won. I cried, but was glad to see so many in the audience crying as well. I cried for a talent lost and a life wasted. And for how eloquently Mr. Ledger's family spoke.

But, more importantly (to me, anyway), I'm here to crow a bit. So far, I'm 5 for 5 in my picks for winners in the major categories. Sadly, to me that's just further proof of how predictable the Oscars have become. I probably won't watch at all, next year. Unless of course, Hugh Jackman really is naked. Or Ryan Reynolds.