Not-So-Happy Meals and Other Horror Movie Nonsense

I guess you have to find your heart wherever you can, though the Tin Man there seems to have gone a bit overboard, don't you think? 

I wish I knew where I found this image, so I could give some proper credit. But like many things in Uncle P's scary mind, it's lost forever...

As another "Schocktober" draws close here at the Revenge, I thought an End of Summer Horror post would be fun. And to start it off, here's a short that's apparently been around for a while, but I just discovered today. Coulrophobes be warned... this won't be pretty. Ladies and Germs, I give you Happy Meal:

I'm lovin' it!

So what other horrors await us at our local multiplexes this fall? Let's see...

Well, this weekend we have The Last Exorcism:

That looks interesting, if nothing else...


September 17th brings us Devil:



I'm willing to give Devil a go, even if M. Knight Sham-Movie-Maker is involved. At least he didn't direct it.
We are also supposed to finally see the much-delayed release of the Renee Zelwegger, Bradley Cooper, Jodelle Ferland thriller Case 39:



And October brings us the 7th (really?) entry in the Saw franchise, Saw 3D:



Then there's Hayden Christensen, Thandie Newton and John Leguizamo in Vanishing on 7th Street:

And director Darren Aronofsky has Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis and Barbara Hershey in the ballet-themed thriller, Black Swan:

But Uncle P is most looking forward to AMC's original series, "The Walking Dead:"



It seems like Uncle P will be very busy this fall, even after his show closes...

More, anon.
Prospero

Evil Clown Syndrome

Sorry D, just skip this one!

Whew! Had to get that off my chest, especially considering some of the images I'm going to be linking in this post.

Happy Shocktober! (lame, I know, but somehow apropos..)

So, October 1st is upon us and the Witching Hours have begun. The season gets into full swing tonight at midnight with Zombieland (my review late Friday/early Saturday). Paranormal Activity opens in Philly this weekend and I plan on seeing that next week-ish. Oh. And Trick 'r' Treat finally gets released on DVD. Can't wait for that, either.

But I'm tired of talking about those movies right now. I'm going to try an experiement and talk about different horror movies everyday for the next 31. Maybe not the most original idea, but something I've never attempted, before. Oh, I'll probably throw in a "Gayest Thing..." or a Marriage Equality post here and there. Hell, I may talk about Sci-Fi or TV, too -but those will be dual post days. My goal this month is to blog about my very favorite film genre every day, and discuss a different film or horror topic each day.

So, since I've got good ole Tim Curry as the most Evil Clown in the history of film up there, let's talk tonight about ECS (Evil Clown Syndrome). Clowns are strangely dichotomous in their iconic imagery. They are the only symbol that I can think of, which represents both laughter and terror. Clowns, fools and jesters have been around forever, making people laugh with their silly antics. But their usually exaggerated and surreal features just as often inspire tremendous fear. And when they are used to do so intentionally, the result is especially horrific.

Despite having a rather lame ending (in both the novel and the movie), Stephen King's It still managed to inspire terror in the hearts of coulrophobes around the world with Pennywise the Clown, one of the many manifestations of the "ancient evil" being lurking in the sewers beneath Castle Rock, Maine. Ridiculous giant spiders aside, Pennywise has undoubtedly become the first image people think of when you say "Evil Clown."

"You all taste so much better when you're afraid!" Indeed. And poor Tim Curry. A fine, fine actor and gifted comedian, best remembered for roles under which he wore tons of makeup. Yes, he's in the highly overrated Clue and the atrocious Steve Martin & Goldie Hawn remake of The Out of Towners. Conversely, he was brilliant as King Arthur in the original Broadway Cast of Spamalot (I know... don't bother pointing it out). But Film Geeks of my generation first knew Curry from this. See what I mean about the makeup?

Next on our Circus of Nightmares Clown Tour is a particularly nasty clown brought to us by Tobe Hooper via Steven Spielberg in an honestly creepy and original suburban ghost story by the name of Poltergeist:

I saw that movie with my sister (who, despite all my teasing, is the person with whom I will always prefer to see a movie, because we share the same eyes while watching them; one of our many unique connections) and we have both seen it so many times since, we can tell you what's happening from another room just by hearing the music in a dialog-less scene. I really should show it more love than I do.

Horror and Sci-Fi movies of the 1980's were all about physical effects - prosthetic make-up; multi-operator puppet servos; reverse processing and hour after hour spent in make-up. Perhaps the ultimate expression of those physical SFX was a very '80's Horror/Sci-Fi movie with an under-appreciated wry sense of humor, Killer Klowns From Outer Space:

What can I say? The '80's were weird.

Of course, the most recent Evil Clown to grace the Silver Screen won it's portrayer a (very sadly) posthumous (and well-deserved) Academy Award. Talk about icons... Let's hope it's another 20 years or more before anyone attempts this again:

Of course, professional clowns (and I know a few) think this is a horror movie (language NSFW):

The lady clown was LaWanda Page, Aunt Esther herself, in case you were wondering. And if have no idea who Aunt Esther and Ms Page were, you're so young I could cry...

There are plenty of other examples, but it's late, and I'm sure you get the idea. So, are you afraid of clowns? Do they merely creep you out or do they send shrieking and burying your head in your nearest friend's back? Or maybe you love them and have a huge collection that fills an entire room of your house. I always love your comments!

More horrors, anon.
Prospero

I Wonder...

These pictures are everywhere, which is why I'm only posting two of them. I'm beginning to think that Johnny Depp does Tim Burton's movies just so he can wear the bizarro make-up. Burton's take on Carroll will either be genius or crap. I'm hoping for the former, but bracing for the latter. Don't get me wrong, I love Burton (hate me all you want). Edward Scissorhands remains one of my favorite modern movies. From Pee-Wee's Big Adventure and Beetle Juice, to Batman and the overly maligned Mars Attacks, Burton's stamp is both indelible and instantly recognizable.

Of course, there's Planet of the Apes (a deeply-flawed movie I still manage to enjoy). And I don't mind repeating how much I HATED Sweeney Todd. Burton managed to transform Sondheim's lush tragic operetta into a cheap horror-show. And no offence, Depp fans (and I am one), but Johnny was horribly miscast. Of course, Depp is brilliant in Burton's arguably best film Ed Wood.

Then again, I am one of a few true fans of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which follows Roald Dahl's book so much more closely than the Gene Wilder version.

So, we will wait and see. Will Burton tap into the young genius he once was and deliver a dazzling, dizzying Alice in Wonderland, or will he resort to cheap camera tricks, weird makeup and bad CGI ?

JA over at MyNewPlaidPants said that the image of Depp's Mad Hatter looked like "if Elijah Wood and Carrot Top had a baby." I tend to agree with him. It will certainly be the Halloween costume for 2010 (seriously, how many Jokers did you have ringing your doorbell last October 31st?). And of course, I am very much looking forward to the Burton-produced CGI fantasy 9, coming this September. So what do you think?

And now, on a not entirely unrelated note...

I found this on Towleroad. The embedding has been removed, but I can still link you to it. A dear friend of mine is exceptionally coulrophobic. Of course, all of his friends torture him about it (and yes, I am guilty of it, too). So I sent him this link as a bit of revenge fantasy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AN5YbfFszlI

If I could have embedded that video, it might have ended up as a "Gayest Thing..." post. I guess I'll have to just tag it as "Randomly Funny." I put these items together, because Depp's Mad Hatter certainly carries an air of "Evil Clown." Don't you think?

And how have you been? You know I love to hear from you. Help me through my aforementioned grief, and leave a comment.

More, anon.

Prospero