It's On First

Sadako (Samara in the U.S.)

I have never been the athletic type, nor the kind of person who enjoys watching sports. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule - Olympic swimming, diving, gymnastics and wrestling can provide many hours of entertainment... ooh -- what a give-away! 

Of course, sport in the U.S. is all about competition, machismo and pain (well, at least when it comes to American Football). Baseball, the so-called "Great American Pastime," is just plain boring. But leave it to the Japanese to make baseball interesting. Well, at least the opening pitch. At a recent Japanese baseball game. the opening pitch was thrown by Sadako, the vengeful ghost from the Ringu series of J-Horror movies. This video (from a Facebook friend) says it all:

I would so see a game where Sadako (or Freddy, Jason, Pinhead or Pennywise) threw the opening pitch. Though I doubt they could do it quite as well as Sadako did in that clip. Freddy's glove would shred the ball; Jason would pitch it through the batter's head; Pinhead would throw a puzzle box and Pennywise would just drag the all the players down into the sewer. 

And since we're talking about Japanese horror and Japanese sensibilities, another Facebook friend posted the below clip from a Japanese "Candid Camera" style show:

Hilarious and rather mean, I don't know that I would have fallen for this, especially with the puppeteer's legs so clearly visible. Still, it's a prime example of how Japanese humor and horror seem to go hand in hand. Hmmm... kind of like Uncle P's sense of humor, when you think about it. 

Anyone know where I can get my hands on a velociraptor suit?

More, anon.
Prospero

The Gayest and Most Insane Things You'll See This Week

Okay - I'm just not quite sure what to say about this picture. That's Adam Lambert as a Na'vi from James Cameron's overblown and over-loved Avatar, quite possibly the single most overrated film (with the possible exceptions of Titanic and Paranormal Activity), ever made.

Now, I know there are both Adam and Avatar fans out there who will no doubt find this image sexy, hot, intriguing and/or breathtaking. Sorry, but I'm not buying it.

First of all, not a single Na'vi in the film had a hairy chest. Second, there were no overtly gay characters in the movie (one of its - IMHO - many flaws). Third, why are we still obsessing over Adam Lambert? Granted, my posting of this image doesn't help matters, but it's the context in which it is used that counts. And in this context, I can only call it as I see it: Lame.

As if Lambert doesn't already have enough over-exposure, why should he subject us to this nonsense? The photo appears via Towleroad, which credits Lambert's Twitter account for the picture. While Lambert may been of the most flamboyant "Idol" contestant of all time, he is hardly the most talented (Carrie Underwood, anyone?) or hardly the first gay contestant. And I suspect his "Is He or Isn't He?" rouse during the competition was all part of the grand scheme in making him a "star." When it comes down to brass tacks, Lambert is hardly the most talented gay celebrity to make a mark. But enough of him and that nonsense.

In insane movie news, here's the subtitled trailer (via) for the latest insane horror moie to come out of Japan, House, a 1977 film which is finally being released on DVD in the U.S. (which has nothing to do with the 1986 Steve Miner film of the same name):

So much for the J-Horror" revolution of the '90's. Honestly, I've seen better special effects on an episode of "H.R. Puffenstuff." Of course, I still need to see it. Perhaps someday on a double bill with Vampire Girl Vs. Frankenstein Girl:

More nonsense, anon.
Prospero

J-Horror Lives

Lately I've been posting about current outrageous Japanese horror; films like Frankenstein Girl vs. Vampire Girl and Robo-Geisha. But the master of J-Horror, Hiroshi Takahashi (Ringu; Ju-On) is back with his first English-language film, Don't Look Up. The movie involves a film crew who is affected by evil spirits trapped in old celluloid footage. The above picture is a production still featuring actress Kelly Devoto (Murder Loves Killers, Too).

Director Fruit Chan has an impressive resume overseas, though his work is probably lesser-known here in the States. I can't even begin to imagine the problems that language brought to that set.

Of course, what matters in the end is the final product. And the following trailer got me almost as excited as the trailer for Drag me to Hell, which bodes quite well, I think. No official release date, but from BloodyDisgusting (via) comes this rather intense trailer:

I am slightly disturbed that a screenwriting co-credit is given to Brian Cox, who scripted the exceptionally lame and boring American version of Ju-On, Pulse, but the trailer still looks awesome, don't you think?

More, anon.

Prospero

WTF?!?!?

This is a still from a 2007 Japanese monster movie entitled (I kid you not) Big Man Japan. The eponymous hero is some kind of mutant who can apparently inflate himself to Godzilla-sized proportions in order to fight surreally weird rubber-suit monsters like the pink squid-thing in the picture (is it me, or does the look on its face imply that it is relieving itself against that cardboard skyscraper?).

Anyway, I found the trailer below on a blog I visit daily and keep meaning to mention. BitsandPieces is a fairly random, but often funny collection of flotsom and jetsom from all over the Internets. I often post YouTube clips from them on my Facebook page. They're motto is "We Search the Web, So You Don't Have To." Blogger Jonco is a pleasant gentleman from St. Louis who often incorporates some very amusing Southern philosophy into his posts. If you haven't found his blog, I urge you to go. There is certain to be something to amaze and amuse almost everyone.

And now, without further ado, the latest WTF?!?!? moment. Ladies and germs, I give you the trailer for Big Man Japan:

Truly - do we need more proof that the Japanese have lost their pop-culture minds? Between this and films like RoboGeisha, I am convinced that modern Japanese Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Horror filmmakers have rejected the perterbing and inexplicable 'J-Horror' style of the late '90's/early 00's and re-embraced the over-the-top ridiculousness of Japan's Atomic Age cinema.

Along with the Universal Monsters pantheon, I grew up on Toho Studios movies. Godzilla, Mothra, Ghidra, Rodan and Gammera were both to be feared and revered and "Ultraman" was the world's greatest giant hero (even though by age 6 I knew they were just stunt-men in latex). Like Lugosi, Karloff, Lorre. Chaney and Price, those rubber monsters were icons of my youth and certainly influenced my appreciation of both the absurd and the inept... and how they often intersect.

Hope you got a giggle out of that, at least.

More, anon.

Prospero

Perfect Timing

Since my last post was about Noburo Iguchi's Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl, I was thrilled to come across the trailer for the Japanese director's latest work Robogeisha (which, when you think about it, is a brilliant title). Truly the work of a madman, Robogeisha combines every over-the-top element of gore from Iguchi's previous films, with... are you ready?... you sure?... OK... Don't say you weren't warned... Transformers (Robots in Disguise!). The title character can actually transform into a rather bizarre form of tank and appears to have another robot inside her, like a bizarre Japanese version of a Russian nesting doll.

And please forgive me this momentary digression, but "Transformers" were toys that came out when I was already too old to play with toys. I had to settle for G.I. Joe. Real G.I. Joe, mind you. Not those miniature pieces of plastic they sell these days. I'm talking about G.I. Joe with "Kung-fu Grip;" G.I. Joe with "realistic" hair; G.I. Joe who was big enough to risk his military career by dating Ken behind Barbie's back (though Joe & Ken's sex life was as boring as Barbie and Ken's, seeing as how none of them had even the semblance of genitalia).

Anyway, via Twitch comes the possibly NSFW trailer for Robogeisha, which features Iguchi's signature fountain sprays of blood; breast guns; beheadings; defenestrations and - I kid you not - breast milk acid! Don't say you weren't warned:

Fried Shrimp! Mmm-mmm!

Now that that's out of the way, via Towleroad comes this great new music video from Marina and the Diamonds - "I Am Not a Robot." The video is slick and fun and superhero-ish. And the song is just terrific. Enjoy:

Of course, the two videos above have absolutely nothing to do with one another, other than my liking them both, very much.

More, anon.

Prospero

More Movie Nonsense

Okay. Enough ranting for a while. I hope everyone had a terrific Pride weekend. Sadly, I attended only one official event this year - I was just too booked.

Anyway - let's get back to movie nonsense, shall we?

Fellow blogger and gay horror fan, JA over at MyNewPlaidPants, was going to the Asian Film Festival this weekend, in NYC. I posted my jealously on his blog because he got to see a movie I will have to wait to see on DVD, Vampire Girl VS Frankenstein Girl. I have posted about this outrageously gory and ridiculously plotted film before, but I came across some new footage a while back and have been just too damned busy to post it.

Just like the kaiju movies of the 50's and 60's, modern Asian horror seems to revel in being way over-the-top. Watching the trailers for VGVFG is like watching a cross between Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Andy Warhol's Dracula and I Survived a Japanese Game Show. It even manages to satirize Japan's obsession with suicide. Creepy, weird, gory and surreal, today's Japanese horror has moved away from the creepy and inexplicable terrors of Ringu (The Ring) and Kairo (Pulse) and onto the explicit (if ridiculous) gore of films like Machine Girl and Ghost VS Alien.

So, below you will find the newest clip (albeit a few weeks old) from Vampire Girl vs. Dracula Girl. Fair warning - it's weird, sick and filled with shots of spurting blood, bloody skulls and extreme wrist-cutting. Can't say you weren't warned...

I'm still waiting to hear what JA thought.

By the way - I'm getting new ink on my left calf for my upcoming birthday (D and I are going together), and I'll be posting a few different versions of what I have in mind and putting them up for vote. I can't promise that I'll actually end up with what you guys choose, but it will most definitely have an influence on my final decision.

And just in case I forget to say so, I hope you have a fabulous Holiday weekend this 4th.

More, anon.

Prospero