Corporate Zombies

While certainly one of the most enduring of recent zombie franchises, I can't actually recommend the Resident Evil movies as "good." Based on the 1996 Capcon video game, director Paul W.S. Anderson's franchise starts in an underground facility known as The Hive, run by the evil Umbrella Corporation, which is working on creating bio-weapons for a corrupt government. The facility is overseen by a super-computer known as The Red Queen.* When a corporate thief breaks open a viral vial, he turns the facility's workers into a horde of hungry zombies and the corporation unleashes Alice* (Milla Jovovich -- who would eventually become Anderson's wife) to fight the monsters and the computer. Future "Lost" cast member Michelle Ridriguez and future "Ugly Betty" hottie Eric Mabius are along for the ride. The Hive is located deep beneath the fictional "Raccoon City." Really? Was "Beaverton" taken? Or how about "C*ntsville?" Too obvious? Honestly. I can't imagine a more ridiculous name for a city.

Anyway, the genetically superior Alice beats the odds and escapes the zombie horde, though nominal love interest Mabius is captured and mutated for the sequel, 2004's Resident Evil: Apocalypse. Oded Fehr (The Mummy) and Thomas Kretschmann (King Kong) co-star.

Alice, now super-powered by the T-virus, is sent back to rescue the daughter of the scientist who created the virus, a formerly crippled child who is infected similarly to Alice. Alice is forced to battle the mutated Nemesis and wins, though Raccoon City is destroyed by a nuclear air-strike. Not to worry, because Alice returns in Resident Evil: Extinction, in which she joins a caravan of survivors on their way to Las Vegas. Alice not only has super-strength, but psionic abilities, which she uses to stop an attack of zombie-crows and ingratiate herself among the survivors, led by "Heroes" alum, Ali Larter. Once they reach Vegas, Alice discovers another Umbrella facility, where hundreds of her clones lie waiting to be activated.  

Extinction is actually the last Resident Evil  movie Uncle P has bothered to see.  I suppose I'll get around to seeing last year's Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D when it shows up on basic cable (any day now) and next year's Resident Evil: Retribution a few months later.

While the Resident Evil movies obviously have many fans (thus the mounting sequels), I find them to be rather ridiculous action movies that use the sub-genre as a vehicle to feature Jovovich in increasingly ridiculous action sequences. I admit to loving the former model as Leeloo in Luc Besson's over-the-top Science Fiction film The Fifth Element, I refuse to say she's an actually good actress. And I don't imagine her appearance in the upcoming 3D version of The Three Musketeers will do anything to change that opinion. 2012 will see her reprise the role of Alice once more in Resident Evil: Retribution.

Much like junk food, the Resident Evil movies are sort of tasty going down but are empty calories when all is said and down. Stick with Romero and Russo for truly satisfying  Zombie fare. 

*I have no idea why they would sully Lewis Carroll's amazing nonsense novels in this way.

More, anon.
Prospero

Luc Besson Returns to Sci-Fi

That's the poster for French director Luc Besson's latest, a Steampunk adventure titled Les Aventures Extraordinaire d'Adele Blanc-Sec, based on the French comic series by author Jacques Tardi. Besson wrote and directed one of Sci-Fi's most underrated films, The Fifth Element and 2006's CGI Fantasy flop, Arthur and the Invisibles.

The story surrounds the titular Adele Blanc-Sec, a popular early-20th Century novelist who turns investigative journalist. The beautiful Adele has to deal with a bevy of suitors while fighting off any number of monsters, beasties and assorted creatures.

If you've been reading from the beginning, you know Uncle Prospero loves him some good Steampunk. In fact, I basically started blogging to document my Steampunk-inspired production of Thornton Wilder's The Skin of Our Teeth. And my fascination with the genre goes back to before it actually had a name. I grew up loving the novels and stories of Jules Verne and H.G. Wells (and the countless movies they inspired), so it's no wonder I have an affinity to the movement. The Victorian era saw the Industrial Revolution and Verne and Wells were prescient enough to imagine nuclear submarines, space travel, computers and even wireless communication (though I'm still waiting for time travel, teleportation and the discovery of Atlantis).

As for Besson's films (which include the movie that made my obsession a star, The Transporter and the actioner, La femme Nikita), they always manage to be over-the top, if nothing else. In The Fifth Element, starring former obsession Bruce Willis and future Zombie-fighter extraordinaire, Milla Jovavich, Besson imagines a future with government-regulated tobacco use; vacations on other planets; McDonald's uniforms designed by Jean-Paul Gaultier and what is possibly Gary Oldman's creepiest villain, ever. I, for one, can't wait for what he does for Steampunk aesthetics. The trailer below (via) is in French, but you get the general idea.

Les Aventures Extraordinaire d'Adele Blanc-Sec is scheduled for release in France, in April. No word on a U.S. release date, but you can bet I'll be among the first in line.

More, anon.
Prospero

Not Much To Say?

I know. Can you imagine me having a post with such a title? I'm not sure what to say about that, either (obviously).

I've said pretty much all I have to say about Maine on Facebook, though I will take the opportunity to once again to tell the voters of Maine to "Suck it!" There's a newish term being bandied about these days: "Gay Apartheid." We're sure feeling it lately, aren't we? Basically, apartheid means "You're different from most of us, therefore you should not be afforded the same rights and privileges as us and we're going to pass laws to ensure that you never will." We all saw how well that worked in South Africa, didn't we?

But I'm not getting on my high horse, tonight. I've already said I don't have much to say.

Not much happening at the movies, this weekend, either. There is the abysmal-looking (and pretty abysmally-reviewed) The Fourth Kind, starring Milla Jovovich (The Fifth Element; Resident Evil) as an Alaskan psychiatrist investigating what appears to be a rash of alien abductions. Yawn. Alien abduction has never been particularly scary to me, and while I was certainly an X-Files fan, I never understood why aliens would be so interested in anal probing (unless of course, their leader was Richard Simmons wanting to know what it's like to be a top - Oh, now that was just mean. Stop it!).

Then there's Richard (Donnie Darko) Kelly's latest, The Box. Based on a Richard Matheson short-story, The Box is about a young couple (James Marsden and Cameron Diaz) who are in dire financial straits. Along comes a mysterious stranger (a digitally scarred Frank Langella) with an unusual offer. In exchange for pressing the red button in the mysterious box he brings them, they will receive a million dollars. The catch? Someone they don't know will die.

Kelly's last film, the critically drubbed Southland Tales was a highly-anticipated failure that didn't even find an audience on DVD. His first film, the enigmatic Donnie Darko, won both critical acclaim and a devoted cult following (myself among them). It's the movie that shot Jake Gyllenhaal into superstardom and gave the late Patrick Swayze his best role since Ghost.

The Box has gotten less than stellar reviews and I suppose I'll wait until it's On Demand.

On TV, my beloved Fringe was back this week with a story about an alien entity trapped in the body of a comatose Cosmonaut which feeds off the radiation in its victims, leaving them little more than piles of carbon dust. Like the best X-Files stand-alone episodes, it was creepy and fun, though it lacked the intensity of episodes about the series' central conspiracy plot.

Oh, and I almost forgot. there's a new Grizzly Bear video (via):



Well, I guess I had a few things to say, after all. I hope you're having a good weekend. I'm trying to... I think I'll do a little Christmas shopping tomorrow. What are your plans?

More, anon.
Prospero