Dork Shadows

The Late Jonathan Frid as Barnabas Collins

When I first heard that Tim Burton was making a Dark Shadows movie, I hoped he would remain true to the campy soap's themes - dark, grim and unintentionally funny. Sadly, he seems to have gone in the opposite direction by casting his go-to actor Johnny Depp in a deliberately comedic version of the story.

Like many folks my age, I would rush home from school to catch the decidedly weird soap about the cursed Collins clan (told you I love alliteration) and the patriarchal vampire Barnabas.

The ABC soap (which ran from 1966 to 1971) was populated with vampires, werewolves and witches before Stephanie Meyer was even born. It featured an alternate universe long before "Lost" or "Fringe" and held true to the Gothic atmosphere created by Hammer in the late 60's. It was literally groundbreaking for daytime soap-operas, which had been until then populated with torrid romances and hospital dramas. It's like wouldn't be seen again until NBC's "Passions" which ran from 1999 to 2007.

Today, it was announced that Canadian actor Jonathan Frid (the original Barnabas) passed away at the ripe old age of 87.  Frid has a cameo in Burton's film. I can't help but wonder if seeing the trailer for Burton's film was the final nail in his coffin. See the travesty for yourselves, if you already haven't:

Ugh! Like many fans of the original series, I will not be seeing this film. It seems to me that Burton and Depp have spent far too much time in Wonderland and the Chocolate Factory. Call me when someone makes a serious "Dark Shadows" film. 

More, anon.
Prospero

I Feel Better After This

The Cast of Barry Sonnenfeld's... er, ah... Tim Burton's Dark Shadows

This post is currently being written under the same format as last night's post, though few of you will actually see it in that format. Friends on Facebook agree this particular format is terrible. If you missed yesterday's post, you missed yesterday's lame Caliban's Revenge, ver 2.1

Anyway, Entertainment Weekly post the first "official" photo of the cast of Tim Burton's Dark Shadows, and I must admit, I am very relieved. That's Depp in the center, looking decidedly more Frid than Hatter, as the first leaked photo seemed to suggest.

Honestly, I see no signature Burton style here, which may be a good thing. Signature Burton cast may also be a good thing, as it reunites him with Michelle Pfieffer and Christopher Lee while adding Jonny Lee Miller (the former Mr. Angelina Jolie); Chloe Moretz (Let Me In) and Jackie Earle Hailey ("Human Target"). According to IMDb, Mr. Frid has a cameo role, as does 70's shock rocker Alice Cooper. The photo reminds me very much of a Chas Addams family portrait and suggests Burton has forgone Victorian romance for 60's Gothic, which would be a very good thing. I'm hoping we get an Ed Wood rather than a Alice in Wonderland. I really am...

How much did Martin Landau deserve that Oscar? If you're going to be remembered for one amazing performance (out of many amazing performances by Mr. Landau), why not let it be Lugosi?

Anyway, I'm relieved by the new picture. "Anonymous" can say "Told you so," if he or she so chooses. Of course, "anonymous" trolls commenters are rarely gracious to bloggers with whom they disagree.

More (and yet another layout), anon.

Prospero

Someone PLEASE Stop Them!

This is a shot (via) of Johnny Depp as Barnabas Collins on the set of Tim Burton's Dark Shadows movie, scheduled for a 2012 release. Seriously? Depp looks like Michael Jackson playing the Joker in an exceptionally terrible Joel Schumacher Batman movie. 

Okay. Burton and Depp made the remarkable Edward Scissorhands and the amazing and totally under appreciated Ed Wood. But that was back in the 90's when Burton was still a wunderkind and Depp was just known as a "quirky" actor. Then came 1999's Sleepy Hollow. Not awful, but not nearly as good as their prior collaborations. In 2005 I enjoyed Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, mostly because it followed the original Raold Dahl book more closely than the Gene Wilder version. Most critics hated it. Corpse Bride that same year was fun, but it was a simple voice-over job for Depp.

Then came the travesty that was 2007's Sweeney Todd. Seeing Stephen Sondheim's brilliant black comedy operetta turned into a musical horror movie was actually painful, especially given Depp's reedy tenor in a role written for a powerful baritone. In full disclosure, I played Sweeney in a rather amazing and particularly dark 1998 production, so I may be a bit biased. Still, for those who know and love the original show, the movie was abysmal. Most recently was Burton's most craptacular movie to date, Alice in Wonderland. An inexplicable box-office hit, Burton's 3D version of Lewis Carroll's nonsense classic is, quite simply, a fiasco. I could hear the Right Reverend Dodgson spinning in his grave from across the Atlantic as I watched this bastardized piece of Jabberwock poo. And again, in full disclosure (and as many readers know), I am an 'Alice' fanatic, having written several papers in college on both of the Alice novels and much of Carroll's poetry.

So now comes the above image from Burton's and Depp's latest collaboration and all I have to to say  to them is: "Put the bong down, stop chomping on the 'shrooms and leave my childhood the hell alone!" 

Below is a picture of Jonathan Frid as Barnabas in the Gothic daytime soap opera that ran on ABC from 1966 to 1971:

Now does that look anything like the foppish clown in the photo above? Survey says: "Buzzzzzz!"

"Dark Shadows," with its cheap special effects and preposterous story line (which included vampires; werewolves; witches; ghosts; time travel and even an alternate universe 40+ years before "Fringe") has deservedly developed a cult following since it first aired. To see the groundbreaking supernatural show sullied in such a way is not only an insult to its fans, but a slap in the face to the original cast.

Granted, this is only the first image we've seen. It may well be a deliberately campy shot in an otherwise brilliant take on the series. But given Burton and Depp's most recent track record, I think not.

Are/were you a "Dark Shadows" fan? Are you a Depp/Burton fan? Am I overreacting? Look at that picture again. Just as a reminder, here's a 1967 clip from the original show:

Dig that swinging 60's soundtrack! Frid may not have had Depp's admittedly sexual attractiveness, but he was at least believable as a vampire. So again, I implore you all, someone please stop them!

More, anon.
Prospero