RIP Alan Rickman

It's being reported that the actor Alan Rickman has passed away at the age of 69.  He'll forever be Snape to generations of Potter fans.  To people like me, he'll always be Hans Gruber.  His IMDB is just a list of wonderful roles; Dogma, Michael Collins, etc...  Hell he was even the only thing anyone really remembers from Robin Hood Prince of Thieves.

It's being reported that he lost a short battle with Cancer.  Fuck Cancer.

Potter Fix

Has it been too long since you have gotten your Harry Potter fix? Do you need some magic in your life? Well look no farther than this fan film with surprisingly good production value. Sure it has a couple of action movie tropes sprinkled thought out, but what ya gonna do? (Just a quick warning, if you click on that there tropes link you will lose a few hours of your life.)

That still not gotten your pensive flowing? Well if you have not checked out Pottermore, then it is in an open beta and you can get right in there. I just got sorted into Slytherin. I would like to think of myself as a Ravenclaw, but in reality I feel that Pottermore got it right.

 
On a real life note, my posts have been quite sporadic as of late. This is partly due to living in the middle of nowhere with nothing except tabletop gaming to get the imagination and creative juices flowing. And I know you guys don't want to constantly hear about my toy soldiers. However I am going to be working on that and will try to have something interesting (your mileage may vary) every week for you to kill a few minutes at work.

Anywho, have you joined Pottermore already and want to brag about the size of your wand? (13 inch inflexible pine with a phoenix feather core) Let Your F'ing Voice Be Heard in the comments, our Facebook, or spam the Contact Us button on the side panel.

That F'ing Monkey Search Terms

This week we are celebrating the 1 year anniversary of That F’ing Monkey. I promise we won’t spend the entire week navel gazing. In fact there are some pretty cool articles planned. This Sunday is the actual anniversary and if you’re in the Central Florida area I’ll be at the Ale House in Altamonte Springs around 2-4 celebrating.

Early in the website’s history I became obsessed with statistics. How many page hits did we get in a day? What country or state did they come from? Are they new or returning readers? I’ll pour over charts and lists of this information like it is the cure for cancer. For some reason it fascinates me. One of the most interesting is the “Search Terms”; these are the web searches people put into google or other search engines and eventually ended up on That F’ing Monkey. Today we’re going to look at some of the more interesting and/or funny.

 

i wish monkeys could skype 1
2011 monkey playoff 2

monkey transformer 5

bloody dragon monkey 1
Friday monkey logo car 1

Obviously with the word monkey in our name we were bound to get some strange monkey searches. I don’t know what monkey playoffs are, but I really want to go to them. If the bloody dragon monkey isn’t in the next Monster Manual I’ll be sorely disappointed. On a final monkey note, I think all of us wish they could use Skype. I now realize it is a line from Hangover 2, but it is too funny not to mention.

mad eye moody rooster cogburn 15

Thundercracker transformer birthday cake designs 1

the superhero who needed a car 1
yank justice 3
Overshaved hobbits 1
King Ken nerd 1
Wonder Woman getting fucked by penguin 1

I grouped all the geekier searches together. It looks like at least 15 other people agreed with my Mad Eye Moody is Rooster Cogburn theory. The Mad Eye Moody article was a pretty popular one and outside of the Lego game, he remains the only thing I really like in Harry Potter. I’m also very happy that someone out there was searching for Yank Justice and found this site. Anyone know who King Ken nerd is? I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned Wonder Woman getting fucked by a Penguin before on the website, so no idea how that one got here. When I first read it I just thought of the animal and not the character. I couldn’t understand why someone would want to see that.

Copepods 253

that shark sounds like a monkey 1

picture of a four fin monkey shark 1

I wrote the copepod article last year during Shark Week. The page hits for that one post quickly out paced everything other thing I had written for the site. I still see strong traffic to that article every week. Apparently there are no good shark parasite resources out there. If anyone has a picture of a four fin monkey shark, please send it to me. I have no idea which shark sounds like a monkey, but I’d love to hear it.  Last year my birthday fell during Shark Week, I'm really hoping that becomes an annual thing.

hd fucking 20
+nerd fuck +hd 1
doctor fucking 1
sex wight aninals 1

shoes fucking 1

cake fucker 3

Well, you put F’ing in your title you’re bound to get something like these right? The shoe one was particularly strange though.  Do you need pictures of that?  Is that two shoes doing it or someone doing it to a shoe?  I'm very confused.

Cool things to make out of liquor bottles 1

Liquor bottles show up on kitchen cabinet 1
Old people bars 3

Shot of everclear throat raw help 1

I think all of these are fun, although I feel for the last one.  Somehow I think it was a teenager trying to show off and it going so very wrong.

That’s it for odd search times. Hopefully you found it as fun as I do; or you at least got a chuckle out of some of them. Obviously because of Flash Friday I get a ton of different Flash searches, but none of those key words were exceptionally funny or strange. Most the video game stuff falls into the same category. I was really disappointed to find people looking for torrents of the Playing for Change stuff. The CD isn’t expensive and it supports such a good cause. Check back tomorrow for more anniversary fun.

Potter Confessions

Earlier this week I made the statement that I like all things considered geeky. An exaggeration to be sure and now I have to come clean about one of the larger things in geekdom that I just don’t get. I don’t like Harry Potter. My wife is a huge Pot Head (Potter not weed) so I’ve tried the book and I’ve sat through all the movies multiple times. In fact with Universal opening the Wizarding World, I can’t really escape it right now. Not to mention last weekend all my wife had on the TV was the Potter Marathon.


I’ve tried to get into it. It is a highly detailed fantasy setting, I like those. But wow do I really dislike Harry, Ron too. Ron could get shot in the face for all I care (the character, not the actor, I’ve got nothing against him). A long time ago when discussing the Never Ending Story I made the statement; “Even as a kid I liked my fantasy with tits and swords.” I had seen Conan and the Beastmaster at an early age; maybe that is working against me in accepting other things.

But I have come to enjoy a few Potter related things. What are they? Check it out after the jump.