NOT MARKED
Yesterday was the launch date of the latest Mary DeMuth book 'Not Marked'. This book is probably the most important book (other than of course The Bible) I have ever read.
Mary has openly shared her story - all of it - from the early childhood rapes and sexual abuse to her healing through the almighty power of Jesus Christ.
I posted this journal page of my experiences on my blog in May 2013.
(taken from my May 2013 blog post)
To me it spoke a lot of the conflicts that are tearing me apart. It is symbolic of the struggles I am going through emotionally, physically and spiritually in my life and how it feels to be torn apart. Inside this broken heart is the little girl who was the first one to encounter the abuses of this life. I know that I am not the only person to have had a dysfunctional childhood, bad teens and abusive twenties (in fact, I know many personally who have had it much much worse) and I am fortunate to have found the love and grace of God to help me through the years ahead and to live with and deal with the memories of the past. But...this does not negate the painful feelings that exist and continue through the behaviors created in defense to try to prevent these things from reoccurring. They are old and inappropriate but hard to eliminate. They often cause me to seek approval in all the wrong places and by doing all the wrong things. This is always followed up with guilt, depression and unforgiveness both to myself and often by others in my life. The one good thing that has happened for me recently is that I have finally started to realize the enormity of the love and forgiveness of God. No matter what stupid mistake I make He is forgiving in ways that humans simply are not. That is helping me to forgive myself although not as quickly or totally as I need to in order to escape the pain of the depression and anxiety. I realized that I need to forgive myself because these past, present and future sins and mistakes were all taken and nailed to the cross of our Savior Jesus Christ. If He did this for me what right do I have to hang on to the unforgiveness of others or for not forgiving myself.
Mary's book took me through the pain of 3 rapes and other childhood sexual abuse, through the flashbacks, the tears, the denials and left me with the most comforting healing image at the book's end.
For anyone that has been abused, and for anyone who has ever loved someone that has been abused you simply MUST read this book.
Get your copy of the paperback here.
or the Kindle edition here.
