My want list

My young friend and I chatted for a bit today.

She's feeling the pull of the life she was living just two weeks ago. And we talked about the choice she has right now. I didn't know quite what to say and then I heard myself say this:

"The easy thing to do would be to go back to what you were doing, right? I mean, that's easy. That's why so many do it. You're choosing to do the hard thing. So OF COURSE it's difficult.

But, it won't always be hard.

You can either do the easy thing now and have a harder life later or you can do the hard thing now and have an easier life later.

What do you want?"

I knew I was talking to her.
But, honestly, I was talking to myself too.

Turns out this "change your life" thing is proving to be harder than either one of us wanted it to be.

Don't misunderstand...
She's still being clean.
I'm still working out.

But, it's hard.
This is a long unfamiliar road.
And there are moments when it just seems too big.
I realized today that during those moments, when all is said and done, it comes down to what you really really want.

I think my friend is too young right now to know for sure what she really wants.
(and so I'm just praying with all my heart she can do this.)

But, I'm not too young.
And I know what I want.

There are just a few things, really.
In fact, I've made a list of 9 (sure, I could have made a list of "10" but it turns out I only want "9"...)

Suffice it to say that these are the desires of my heart.
These are the things I finally know I can do.
These are the "[sighings] which cannot be uttered" (Rom. 8:26).

It's my want list.
And I finally wrote it down.
I'm going to read it every night this week...
I'm going to read it when my alarm goes off at 5:15 every morning...

And, well, I'm going to get up.
And I'm going to choose to do the hard thing now.

Because that's what girls like me do.
Because. I. Can.

Because He, "that is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think [or want], according to the power that worketh in us" (Eph 3:20), will help me.

Anyone else have a "want list"? Have you written it down?


(image from themusiczoo.com)