God waits too [part 2]: aka "what I mean by 'something better'"

God answers all righteous prayers.

This morning I was talking to Tammy about this very topic...Tammy was single until her 35th year when she met her husband Jim. Jim had been married for 14 years until his wife Michelle passed away. Michelle fought breast cancer for five years. No one can quantify the number of prayers and pleadings offered up to for Michelle's life to be spared...and no more powerful prayers and pleadings than Jim's. And meanwhile, Tammy was praying and pleading for the opportunity for marriage.

Who's prayer was answered in this case? Tammy or Jim?

I believe...I HAVE to believe...that both prayers were answered. Not in the way that either of them thought. But...both prayers were righteous. And both prayers were answered. Of course they were.

Because...
God either loves all of His children or He doesn't.
God either answers prayers or He doesn't.
God is either God or He isn't.

BUT, just because I believe our waiting has an end date and just because I believe God will give us the best possible scenario, that does not mean...that does not mean at all...that I believe everything turns out just like we want it to.

If my 40 years have taught me anything, they have taught me that.

And to even more of the point of the "God waits too" principle, there are two important truths to remember:
     Truth #1: God loves our agency even more than He loves our happiness.
     Truth #2: God loves our happiness.

If the thing we are waiting for involves the agency of another, then all the prayers and pleadings and "feel your feet" and "trust the math" and "live as if" living might not be able to secure for us what we are waiting for.

BUT, I also sincerely believe that God will do what He can to secure our happiness.
And God can do ANYTHING to secure our happiness.
And His way is always...ALWAYS...a better way.

I recently heard Elder Holland say, "The only time you wouldn't get what you want is for something better." And I don't think he has heard my TOFW talk (grin).

I believe this with all my heart.

EVERY righteous prayer will be answered.
EVERY righteous pleading will be honored.

And we can rest assure...we can absolutely live in peace...with the knowledge that a loving Father in Heaven will give us what we want....or something better.

A better circumstance
A better perspective
A better heart
A better testimony
A better us

I've debated about how much of my current story to share.
I've seen first hand that my willingness to open up has helped others as well as myself.
But, there are other lives and hearts involved and it's not just my story to share.
So, let me just share this...

I spent the better part of the the past 18 months praying and pleading for the thing my heart wanted more than anything. I was willing to do anything to make it happen.
It was a righteous request.
A righteous desire.

I waited.
I lived the principles.
And in the end, last April when it seemed my world fell apart, it appeared as if God has not heard me and was denying my happiness.

But, I can see now...regardless of how my current situation plays out...
that the thing I thought I wanted would not have made me as happy as I wanted to be.
And as happy as I could be.
Because I was not where I wanted to be and who I needed to be.

God was waiting for me to be ready...
ready for me to have a greater desire to be who He wants me to be...knows I can be...
ready to let go of the image I had of myself and my life...
ready to be something better...

And today, I am in a better situation for me because, though always a work in progress, I am something better.

And I'm something better because of my waiting.

I'm better because I've learned to pray better
I'm better because I've learned to dream better
I'm better because I've learned to believe better

I'm better because I have learned to trust a Heavenly Father who wants me to have every happiness.
Better.

You might say I was content to be a Johnny Cake.
And the Lord intended for me to be a ham.

Allow the Lord to make of you something better. 

Understand that ultimately the only thing you can control of in your waiting is you.

Remember that this mortal journey is too important for Him to waste your time.

Trust that He is preparing every possible happiness for you.

Your waiting has a purpose.

And His waiting does too.

I believe that God waits too...patiently and lovingly and willingly...
for us to be the most important part of our "something better".

God waits too [part 1]

We're to the final principle.
It's perhaps the very most important and it's also the most recently learned principle.
And it's an opportunity to share some things about my life right now...in fact, I don't think I can adequately share the principle without sharing some things in my life right now...

This is a principle I now know in the deepest parts of my heart.
This is a principle God has shown me in clear and unmistakable ways throughout my entire life.
But, none so clearly as the last 4 months.

If you're just joining though, review the other principles:
Principle #1: FEEL YOUR FEET
Principle #2: TRUST THE MATH
Principle #3: LIVE AS IF

Principle #4: GOD WAITS TOO

You might remember that two of my friends and myself did something really unique for our 40th birthdays. We joined together in intentional prayer (and really. you need to read the post in order to fully appreciate what that was and why we did it).

And when it came time for my "40 days" to start, I had a really significant experience. I had the distinct impression God was really ready to give me what I asked for. And I had to ask myself if I was ready receive it? Knowing He was ready changed the wording of my prayer and I believe that wording changed the course of my life. I really do.

It caused me to think of a scripture that I've always loved:

"I will order all things for your good, as fast as ye are able to receive them." 

(Doctrine & Covenants 111:11) 

What if God was just waiting for me to be ready to receive what He was ready to give me? 

One thing I have learned more than anything else in the past year+. God loves our agency even more than He loves our happiness.

God loves our agency even more than He loves our happiness.

He will not force us to be ready to receive. He waits for us to be ready.

Ready to want. Ready to ask. Ready to receive.

A story is told of the prophet Joseph Smith. He sat down to dinner one night to yet another plate of Johnny Cake (a fairly tasteless bread). It is reported that in the blessing on the food Joseph said, "Lord, we thank Thee for this Johnny Cake, and ask Thee to send us something better. Amen." (The Juvenile Instructor 27, 1892). 

Before the bread was finished, a man came to the door with some flour and a ham.

A ham!

I love that story.

What if Joseph had been completely content with the Johnny Cake? Would the ham have apppeared? I don't know why it would have. There would have been no reason. There would have been no context.

But, Joseph wasn't content with the Johnny cake and he was willing to ask for something more...something better.

And I'm a believer that God often has better things waiting for us.

"God having provided some better thing for us..." (Hebrews 11:40)

But, we have to be willing to ask. 

We have to want it.
We have to believe we're worthy of it.

We have to trust He will grant it to us.

This thing you're waiting for...
praying for...
wanting...
What if God has SOMETHING BETTER for you and it's just not ready yet? 

What if He is waiting to give you some better thing...

...a better situation...

...better timing...

And what if He gave you what you wanted right now, you'd be missing out on the "something better" that is being prepared for you?

What if, even though you think you'd be perfectly content with a Johnny Cake...

what if the Lord is preparing for you a ham?

God waits too.

And sometimes He waits for us to be ready to receive.

And sometimes He waits for our "something better" to be ready.

But He is anxious to bless us.

I believe that with all my little heart.
And He won't make us wait any longer than we have to.
I believe that too.

"God is anxiously waiting for the chance to answer your prayers

and fulfill your dreams--

just as He always has.

But He can't if you don't pray

and He can't if you don't dream

In short, He can't if you don't believe."

(Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, "Terror, Triumph and a Wedding Feast")

 I think I spent too much of my life perfectly content with a Johnny Cake.

And what I've found is that God had something better for me.

And He truly was waiting...

...waiting for me...
to be ready.

(stay tuned for part 2)

live as if

Principle #1: Feel Your Feet
Principle #2: Trust the Math

And now...

Principle #3: LIVE AS IF 

This principle started more than a decade ago when I first came in contact with Wendy Watson Nelson. I shared a little bit of that a couple of years ago.

She planted seeds inside my head and heart that sprang into a much needed truth for me this past year.

You might remember a post a did about this time last year about a little "ah ha" in 1 Nephi 5.
You can read the full post here.

But, here's a recap:

The prophet Lehi has sent his sons back to Jerusalem to get the family records and scriptures. The boys haven't returned and Lehi's wife Sariah is certain the boys have perished. She is certain.
And she's mad. Really mad.

Lehi's response is interesting to me.
He reminds his wife he had a vision and never would have left Jerusalem had he not had the vision. He was simply following the Lord.
And in all the times I have read that chapter, I have never noticed his next choice of words.

His past-tense choice of words.

"I have obtained a land of promise, in the which things I do rejoice..." (vrs. 5)

Did you catch that?

Lehi is in the wilderness.
They have yet to journey to, let alone arrive in, the land of promise he was, well, promised.
And yet, he talks as if he is already there.
As if the Lord has already given it to him.

Oh I love that.

And do you want to know why?

Read some of the cross references: 1 Kings 8:56 and Ephesians 1:11.

Lehi trusted that God keeps His promises.
He trusted that God's promises were set in motion long ago.
And if God keeps His promises that were set in motion long ago, Lehi could live as if God already had kept this particular promise.

I think we can do that too.

A couple of years ago after a heartbreaking disappointment, I received a beautiful blessing at the hand of a dear friend. He said:"The Lord's timeframe for you has been in place for you this whole time. And it is still in place."

Do you believe that?
Do you believe your life is exactly where the Lord knew it would be?

If that is true, and I believe it is, than I can also believe that there is an "end date" to any period of waiting. And just because we do not know what that date is, we can take comfort in the fact that God does. I like to think it's on His calendar.
Circled.
In red.

And so, if the "end date" is already determined, you can choose to live as if that end date is already here.

What would you do differently if you knew the end date was in place?
How would you live your life right now if you could trust your waiting period was going to come to an end...
in a month
in 6 months
in a year.

If you knew your son was going to have an experience that was going to turn him around...
If you knew a needed healing was on its way...
If you knew your husband was going to wake up in three weeks and decide to go to church with you...

What would you do differently now if you could believe the end date was already in the works.

Because there IS an end date.
Your "waiting" will end.
So, choose to live as if it already has.

Just try it.
Even if you can only "live as if" for a week...try it.

I think you'll be amazed at what it does for you.

trust the math

Principle #2: TRUST THE MATH.

The last time I went to take some clothes in to the tailor (no one ever talks about how expensive it is to lose weight), the cute woman who was pinning my pants said, "Wow. You've really lost weight. What have you done?"

"Can you keep a secret?" I asked. Then I looked around and whispered, "I'm doing this crazy plan where I exercise more and I eat less."

"Shoot. Is that really the key?"

"Sorry. But, yes. It really is that simple."

It's true. 

As much as I hate to admit it.

The math works.

I learned at Fitness Ridge that weight loss, for the most part, really is a basic math issue.
Calories Out - Calories In = Weight Loss or Gained

And it totally works.

If my spreadsheet (when I'm being good and tracking) says I'll be down 2.2 pounds, I'm down 2.2 pounds. When it says I'll be up 1.5, I am.

It doesn't always show up right when it should, but eventually it shows up.
It has to.
Because the math works.

It's an eternal principle.

God's math works too.

"I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, 

ye have no promise."

(Doctrine & Covenants 82:10)

When we do what He says (calories in), He is bound to do what He says He will do (calories out) and we are blessed (weight loss).

It might not happen exactly when the spreadsheet says it should.
BUT, eventually, it all shows up.
I love knowing that.


When you are waiting, you might not feel like you have control over very many things.
...God's timing...other's agency...variables that are out of your area of stewardship...
BUT, you do have control over YOUR actions...
YOUR obedience that qualifies you for blessings and personal revelation to assist you during your time of waiting.

It's an eternal truth that the math works.
I think sometimes we try to make it complicated.
But, it's not.
It's simple.
That doesn't make everything EASY...but it does help make a whole lot of things more clear.
You can trust that.

 

feel your feet

I have fallen in love with the message that I share at TOFW this year.
I suppose that could sound odd (or worse, prideful)...
But, I need to tell you why.

On a Saturday morning in January, when my world seemed to be falling apart, the entire message was given to me. The entire thing. Every bit of it. It came from things I've studied and prayed about...so it didn't come out of thin air. But, it was laid out so clearly to me that I still can't believe it.

I knew that the Lord was giving me a message for ME...one I really needed. And I was a little sad because I felt like it was his way of saying that I was going to be in the place I was in for a while.

And then a couple weeks later, everything in my life seemed to sort itself out and I thought, "how wonderful that I can give this message on the tour this year and not be in the middle of the message anymore." Now, you have to know that even actually thinking that was in contrast the spirit of the very message I was sharing, but I thought it nonetheless.

And so I gave the message a few times and I gave it with my heart but I also gave it having not completely lived all of the principles...well, because I thought I didn't need them anymore.

Then April came and everything fell apart again and I found myself desperate to survive in this new place I found myself and my heart and my spirit in.

And what got me through that time?
And what got me to the place I'm at today (which is the sweetest place my life has ever been and I promise I'll share more one of these days. I promise promise.)?

That darn TOFW message of mine.

What Are You Waiting For?

Do you ever feel like you're waiting for a new opportunity or a new week (or a new year)? And    while you're waiting, it seems that life is on hold? Although the scriptures invite us to “wait patiently for the Lord” (Psalm 40:1), nowhere do they tell us to sit while we’re waiting. There are things life can’t wait for you to do and that you aren’t expected to wait for—even while you might have to wait on the Lord for a time. 

I share four principles as part of the talk...four truths that I believe help us in our waiting...four truths that help us to find joy and meaning and fulfillment during the waiting...four truths that help us in our times when we are pretty sure we can't wait (or hold on) one more minute.

They are powerful truths.
At least for me.


It is a sweet thing for me to be able to say that I know them more intimately and more passionately now than I did back in January. The Lord had things to teach me and He was preparing me to be taught.

So...I thought I'd share the summary points with you here...in preparation for sharing some sweet details of my life in my current "waiting". I just think you'll enjoy more where I am if you understand a bit better where I've been. And what I've been learning and living.

Ready?

Principle #1: FEEL YOUR FEET. 

When I decided to really become a runner at Fitness Ridge December 2010, one of the first principles my trainer taught me was this profound and simple truth: feel your feet.

"Pay attention to every single time your feet strike. Feel every step you take. If you focus on that, you won't be able to focus on anything else."

And it was so true. If I paid attention to the feeling of my feet hitting the treadmill, I found that there was no room for any other thoughts. It forced me to stay in the present...not belaboring how far I still had to go...but just being aware of where I was in the moment. And I discovered something really important: By focusing on the current steps, I was able to avoid being overwhelmed at how far I had yet to run. I actually ran farther by not thinking the time left or the "finish line".

There were days last Spring when I would wake up in such desperation, realizing I had to face another day of sadness (you'll have to read back April/May if you want to know what was going on...even though I never really talked about what was going on...I'm vague like that). I was certain that the dream I had for my life was never going to come to pass. Every part of the world I had envisioned seemed to be crumbled around me and I was lost. And sad. So sad. I felt overwhelmed by my heartbreak and  I couldn't imagine surviving one more day. I know that sounds dramatic. But, truly, that sadness and disappointment was that deep. My heart was struggling to make sense of God's plan and will for my life.

And one of the scriptures that I clung to was this simple truth:

"Know ye not that ye are in the hands of God?"

(Mormon 5:23)

I had to choose to believe He was taking care of me. I had to choose not to think about or worry about a future that I feared. I had to choose to focus on experiencing the day that was ahead...the very moment I was in. I focused an hour at a time...literally. I lived in the present. I had to.

And I am convinced it helped me heal and survive a "waiting".

Life is meant to be lived NOW...not lived in some dream of tomorrow or in some wishing things were otherwise from yesterday. Don't get so wrapped up in worrying about a future that may or may not even come to pass that you miss the beauty of life in the present. You are in God's hands. Your feet are on a path He has designed. Feel the truth of that. And...
FEEL. YOUR. FEET.

(image found here)

Elder Holland's talk today

What?
You didn't hear it?

Well, let me be the one to share it with you then.

First you should know that I cannot count the number of times the Lord has used Elder Jeffrey R. Hollandto talk to me, particularly during challenging times when I have felt overwhelmed or forgotten.

The first time Elder Holland was that mouthpiece in an unmistakable way was in 1999, perhaps one of the darkest times in my life.
I can still tell you everything about that day.
And I still remember the sunlight that streamed through my little studio apartment when he stood to give the classic talk "An High Priest of Good Things to Come".
I felt as though that talk was written just for me.
I've since lost track of how many times I've read and reread and devoured that incredible message.

After that, it honestly got to the point where whenever I would take a question to General Conference (that's what I do), I just knew my answer would come through Elder Holland. And sometimes when I didn't have anything particular on my mind, I just waited for him to stand and speak so I would know what the Lord would have me focus on (really. sometime when you're bored, review his talks and for the most part you can follow the journey of my life...at least since 1999).

The last few weeks have been difficult.
I have felt overwhelmed and exhausted.
I have felt worried and unbelieving.
It's been one of those times in my life when I have not been able to address my Father aloud in prayer without tears falling.

I have been looking forward to this General Conference weekend because I knew I needed it.

And so, honestly, when I learned that Elder Holland spoke last night in the Priesthood session, I felt a little bit anxious (nay, dare I say bitter?...grin).
"Who will talk to me tomorrow?" I wondered.

And then came sweet Elder Hales this morning.

"Too often we pray to have patience but we want it right now."
"Sincere prayer is answered sometime, somewhere."
"He that watches over us shall neither slumber nor sleep."

As I listened to Elder Hales,
as I felt the power of his words,
as I felt the sweet love of a Father who knows my heart,
as I felt a commitment to trust and believe and wait on Him,
I was reminded of the goodness of God to prepare us in all things.

Several years ago, I embarked on my own journey to understand what "waiting" really means and what the Lord wanted of me and expected of me during my period of waiting for His promised blessings.

Last year, because of a heartbreak, I had reason to revisit that journey and wrote a series of posts about "waiting" and what I had been learning.

And while I think He needed to teach me something in 2010, I see today that perhaps He needed me to have a need for it then so He could give me a message today when I needed it even more. I think it's amazing...remarkable...how He does that.

Because while I do need the reminder to "wait on the Lord" and am so grateful for the powerful way Elder Hales delivered that message this morning, I also needed the reminder that sometimes...sometimes...the Lord is waiting too.

I went to those posts and read them as soon as the session was over.
And I add this little gem (which, unsurprisingly, comes from Elder Holland) to Elder Hales marvelous message today:

"God expects you to have enough faith
and determination
and enough trust in Him to keep moving,
keep living,
keep rejoicing.
In fact,
He expects you not simply to face the future...
He expects you to embrace and shape the future—
to love it
and rejoice in it
and delight in your opportunities.

God is anxiously waiting
for the chance to answer your prayers
and fulfill your dreams,
just as He always has.
But He can't if you don't pray,
and He can't if you don't dream.
In short,
He can't if you don't believe."

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
"Terror, Triumph, and a Wedding Feast", CES Fireside, Sept. 2004

I'm renewing past commitments today.
To believe.
To dream.
To remember the Optimist Experiment.

And this month, I'm going to focus on meeting God's expectations.
Not His demands.
Not His need for my perfection.
But, His expectation of my waiting on Him to pour down all that He has waiting to give me.

And He can only do that if I pray.
And He can only do that if I dream.
And He can only do that if I believe.
So I will.

And that's what I got from the talk Elder Holland [didn't] give at General Conference today.

Thank you, Elder Hales, for being my Elder Holland this morning.

God waits too

You know that little "waiting" study I did?

Turns out, God waits too.
And I knew that.

I know He waits for me to get my act together.
I know He waits for me to figure things out.
I know He waits PATIENTLY for me to move forward in trust.

But, I don't think that concept has ever been expressed better than this:

"God expects you to have enough faith
and determination
and enough trust in Him to keep moving,
keep living,
keep rejoicing.
In fact,
He expects you not simply to face the future...
He expects you to embrace and shape the future—
to love it
and rejoice in it
and delight in your opportunities.

God is anxiously waiting
for the chance to answer your prayers
and fulfill your dreams,
just as He always has.
But He can't if you don't pray,
and He can't if you don't dream.
In short,
He can't if you don't believe."

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
"Terror, Triumph, and a Wedding Feast", CES Fireside, Sept. 2004

*****

What has God been anxiously waiting for with you?

Quietly [?] wait...

The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore I will hope in him.
The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait ...
(Lamantation 3:24-26)

(This blog led me to this passage and I've been loving reading her thoughts. I'm her newest blog stalker...Highly recommend.)

I have been loving my little study of "waiting" and doing it "patiently".
And, oh...there are so many truths in this one little passage.

He is my portion.
Therefore, He is enough for me.

He is good to those who wait and those who seek Him while they wait.
Therefore, I will spend more time seeking Him.

It is good to hope while you wait.
Therefore, I will hope.

(But do I really have to do it quietly? And what exactly does that mean?)

Wait for it.

Like I've said, we all have our reasons for waiting.

Some of us are waiting for we know not what.
But, others of us are waiting for something that we know is coming.
We know it is.
We just don't know when.

And when He has told us it is coming, whether in a dream or a vision or a blessing or just a feeling deep within our soul, we have to trust that it will come in its apointed time.

And, ultimately, when we KNOW it is coming...
When we KNOW it...
Well, then we have no choice but to just simply...

wait for it.

For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry. (Habakkuk 2:3)

Wait long enough

I put off my required Statistics Class for college graduation until the last possible semester. (Unfortunately, one of my character flaws has me often postponing things I need to do but don’t want to do. But, I digress.)

When I began the class, I was clearly reminded why I had chosen to delay the requirement. It was going to take all I had to pass this class. My lack of “left brain” became painfully obvious.

I joined a study group, which helped as much as anything could help my right brain in a left brain activity. But when the midterm came, I went into it feeling woefully ill prepared—not for lack of trying, but my brain just simply couldn’t wrap itself around the statistics.

I wasn’t in BYU’s testing center very long. I did what I could but there was a lot of guessing involved on the multiple choice “fill-in-the-bubble” test. When I handed it to the girl behind the counter, I wasn’t overly optimistic. And I still remember the almost symphonic ticking as the scanner let the world know every time my answer didn’t match up with the answer. It wasn’t pretty and I left before the orchestral performance of the scanner ended.

I walked out of the testing center and never walked back into the statistics class. I knew I had done horribly on the exam and I made the decision, almost immediately, that I would just focus on my other classes and retake statistics summer term.

But, this was no small decision. By quitting the class and taking it the next term, I was postponing my graduation...a fairly significant adjustment to my life plan at the time.

A few weeks before the end of the semester, I ran into one of the guys from my study group. He asked where I had been (certainly glad he wasn’t responsible for my whereabouts…why hasn’t he tried to track me down sooner?) and I explained my horrible experience with the midterm and that I had clearly failed and decided to just retake the class next term.

His response is still engraved on my memory. “We all failed the midterm. It got graded on a curve and we’re all passing the class. You could have passed the class!”

I still get a bit of a pit in my stomach whenever I relive that short conversation. There I was...so close to the end. And yet, I had delayed my graduation because I assumed I knew how my experience was going to turn out.
I didn’t know there was going to be a different ending to the story.
Frankly, I didn’t even consider there could be a different ending.
But, God surely knew.
And I never even talked to Him about it.
And I certainly didn't wait long enough to find out for myself.

Have the patience to wait...long enough.

Lead me in thy truth, and teach me:
for thou art the God of my salvation;
on thee do I wait all the day.
Psalms 25:5

Waiting. Patiently.

As my life’s path has crossed with other women, I have noticed a common theme among so many of us.

We are often women in waiting.

Some of us are waiting for promised children or the return of a prodigal.
Some of us are waiting for healing, whether physical or spiritual.
Others are waiting for forgiveness, either to receive it or grant it.
There are women waiting for a spouse to come to church with them (while others of us wait for a spouse to show up at all).

It doesn’t seem to matter the age or the stage of life. While our circumstances are all so very different, our life journey is so often the same. That is not to say the experiences are the same, but in the actual process of learning and growing…and waiting, we are very much in this together.

In the scriptures, waiting is often right next to patience:
“I waited patiently for the Lord…” (Psalms 40:1)
“the patient waiting…” (2 Thes. 3:5)
“waiting patiently” (D&C 98:2)

The need for these two words to act together is likely very obvious. It doesn’t matter if you’re waiting for a delayed flight or a delayed blessing; the quality of patience helps you find meaning and fulfillment in the midst of the waiting. Ironically however, it is the waiting that often most tests our patience, particularly when we are waiting for something that is important to our hearts or eternally significant to our progress.

I have come to know for myself that God has had, does have and will always have a plan for me. He is a God of promises...my God of promises.

And while some of that plan and many of those promises have not come in the ways I would have expected or initially hoped for, I have learned to trust the path and the timing of God’s promised plan for me. And in the waiting on that plan, some of life’s sweetest lessons have become mine.

And for the next little while, I think I want to share a few.

(But I need some sleep first...so you'll have to wait a bit...couldn't resist.)