The Dr. Leo Marvin Approach To Setting Us Free from Wuhan Cootie House Arrest

The country is beginning to open up again after the Great Wuhan Cootie Lockdown of 2020. It’s different state by state  and while California and a handful of other states are maintaining their indefinite stay-at-home orders most states are taking a measured, toe-in-the-water approach such as Colorado’s new phase called “Safer at Home.” In state’s that have announced they are beginning to lift the bans it is still far from business as usual. Retail businesses might be allowed to do curbside pickup, bars and restaurants might be allowed to open – at 25% capacity. Businesses such as salons, dog groomers, personal trainers and elective medical services will be allowed to open – with stringent requirements and restrictions.

I was able to score an appointment with my stylist for next week, here are the instructions she was required to forward to her clients:

“If you arrive before my last client has left, you must wait in your car until I’ve sanitized the chair and invite you in. The lobby is not available for waiting.

Masks are required, please.

I can only do cash, check or venmo. My credit card service is on my phone and for the time being I am not allowed to have clients touching it.”

It’s a step in the right direction, albeit a baby step. Let’s hope that this revolutionary approach to regaining a normal life works better for us than it did for Bob.

If your state, or in my case, your COUNTY – Utah proper does not have a shutdown but we do - remains closed for business this weekend and you’re looking for a good Saturday night movie you could do much worse than watching “What About Bob” again.

May Day Meets Schrödinger's Cat

It’s May 1st, also known as “Labour” Day or International Workers' Day around the world.

Governor Grunhilda (GG) celebrated by extending her lockdown order through May 28th, thus insuring that the workers remain free to become wards of the state rather than work.

GG seems to have adopted the Irish Labour Party’s motto, which I’m guessing means something other than the obvious in Ireland

Most Michigan workers were not amused, nor was the State legislature which is controlled by Republicans, normally considered the anti-worker party:

Republicans in the legislature are threatening to create an oversight committee to investigate the lockdowns; to repeal the 1945 Emergency Powers of the Governor Act, which conferred on the state’s chief executive almost dictatorial powers after the governor declared an emergency; and to amend the 1976 Emergency Management Act, which gave the legislature the right to make such a declaration, to reduce the period covered from 28 to 14 days…The Republicans point to the 1976 act and contend that, if the state legislature does not approve an extension of the governor’s emergency powers by Friday, 1 May, they will evaporate. Governor Whitmer points to the 1945 act and claims that she can act unilaterally under that.” – Richochet

Apparently GG feels she has to kill the workers in order to save them. Of course GG’s office said she intends to veto any bill that seeks to limit her authority – as would any tyrant worth their salt.

And speaking of tyrants and May Day, it seems North Korea’s celebration will be toned down this year as their pot-bellied dictator is still missing in action amid rumors of his demise/perfect health continue to swirl, leading some to compare him to Schrödinger's cat.

Others, see Schrödinger's cat as having more immediate application to the rest of us these days:

And never being allowed to talk about science means ESPECIALLY as it relates to global warming. Furthermore, I’d suggest that if they don’t understand the joke, which I’m certain they don’t, GG and others no longer be allowed to use the Coronavirus as an excuse to unlawfully extend their powers.

Throwback Thursday –and the Nostalgia is Easy

Whereas it’s officially Throwback Thursday we pause today to remember with awe - and more than a bit of nostalgia – the ways people once spent their time in America.

Dining out:

Without social distancing:

Throwing Weddings (with guests):

Attending Concerts (live):

Getting their hair cut:

Shopping (with friends):

Shopping for something other than toilet paper and sanitizers (without masks):

Going to the beach:

Working out (at the gym):

Sports:

This well-meaning social experiment in protecting us from ourselves and others has been brought to you by your government overlords and…

Dinner At the Sundown Cafe

I didn’t listen to any news yesterday, at least not on purpose. I was listening to our local NPR station around dinner time however. As I’ve explained before I listen because of the local host, an apolitical music impresario who plays a delightful mix of different genres. Take yesterday for example, he played a country tune by Shemekia Copeland (Johnny’s daughter), who normally sticks to wailing out a mean blues. The song was called “Out of Nashville” and contained some snappy lyrics:

“I’m driving out of Nashville with a body in the trunk,

Trying to figure out the depths to which I’ve sunk.

I never hit the big time, but I went out with a bang,

‘Cos country music ain’t nothing but the blues with a twang”.

But in exchange for that little musical gem I had to suffer through their BBC “news” at the top of the hour. It was worse than usual, which is saying something. I know that NPR’s audience presumes that people with a British accent are wiser and more sophisticated than the normal American but I cannot fathom why they seriously think the Brits’ take on American politics adds anything. Except yesterday it did: a bit of amusement. It was not the usual Brit twit but rather a new guy that would easily have won the Monty Python casting call for a supercilious British news reader. He advised us deplorables that “Hillary Clinton endorsed Joe Biden today, saying that ‘America deserved better than someone who played President on TV’” in that cute, clipped, upper-class English accent.

So I moved on to thoughts of dinner, and the Sirius Sinatra channel.

This would be a much better post had I thought to take pictures as I was cooking, or even if I had remembered to take a picture of the final dish – which I also didn’t do. I wouldn’t have been a very good food blogger as when I get into the creative space of cooking I don’t think of anything else. Which is what any good hobby should do for you.

I started by taking inventory. This is what I picked up from the Copper Moose Farm earlier, which is a small scale farm just down the road a piece. Within walking distance even for a couple of old farts with bad knees. All they had for sale this week were eggs

As beautiful as anything Martha Stewart’s chickens could lay

and radishes. Perfect for me, I love their eggs and I’m a radish fiend of sorts. And these were gorgeous radishes.

Look at those greens! The radishes are reserved for peanut butter and radish sandwiches. But the greens were so fresh, so pristine I decided to build a pasta around them: penne with white beans and greens, a standard. Normally I use spinach, chard or, my favorite, escarole but these looked like a great stand in.

Very simple to make:

Cooke a half box of penne. Meanwhile sauté about a half cup of chopped onion for 2-3 minutes in olive oil until transparent, add 1 or 2 cloves of minced garlic and a generous pinch of red peppers, stir for 30 seconds (don’t let the garlic burn, it will ruin your dish!) Throw in your clean, dried radish tops and stir just till slightly wilted. Add 1/2 can of white beans drained (I like great northern but navy or cannellini will do), a splash of white wine or lemon juice and either a peeled, cubed fresh tomato or – if you happen to have a half can of diced tomatoes left over in the frig like I did, drain and add them. Save a 1/4 cup of water from your cooked penne, drain the rest and add it to sauce in your pan. add the water toss, finish with a small handful of chopped basil and a few fresh chives if you are lucky enough to have them growing on your windowsill and/or garden. Otherwise a handful of chopped parsley will do fine. Stir and serve with another generous drizzle of olive oil and grated parmesan.

Sorry I don’t have a picture but it was delicious and looked pretty much like this except my tomatoes were diced:

I’ll have farm fresh eggs for breakfast and the leftovers are going on a picnic within the quarantine zone today.

What’s going on in your kitchen?

A Cootie Burger

It’s possible the ongoing Wuhan Cootie Flu is beginning to get to me a little.

Only sometimes it’s way more than 20 times…and I’m no longer whispering.

So that’s why I decided I should do something to distract myself from all of the coronavirus fallout. Maybe make some bread, or rolls. Oh I know - I’ll make Hamburger buns!

Evil Wuhan Cootie Burger

WTF!?!

P.S.A.

President Trump did NOT tell you to take the Tide Pod Challenge.

He said to wash your hands.

Oh, and if you decide to eat them anyway - because you think the President told you to - do NOT eat them with Clorox disinfecting bleach.

Today’s Public Service Announcement is brought to you by the the JournOlists of America.

A Sign of the Times

Question: What do you get if you cross a Vermeer

“Girl With a Pearl Earring”

with a Banksy (self described street artist, vandal, political activist)

“Girl with a Pierced Eardrum”- this particular piece of parody street art/graffiti was painted around an outdoor alarm box which serves as the woman's earring,

and then throw in a pandemic along with a third self described “street artist, vandal” and possible political activist?

Answer: A sign of the times.

We know it wasn’t Banksy who made the modification himself as he self-reported for home quarantine as required.

Saying “My wife hates it when I work from home.”

NOTE: Happy 50th Birthday Melania! While beauty, like art, is in the eye of the beholder I think it fair to say most of us never looked so good at half her age. But then, life isn’t fair; an important mother’s lesson that some failed to teach and many have yet to learn on their own.

And a big Happy Birthday to Boo too! Have a great day sequestered out there in SoCal with Boots.