Kidnapping Plot Revealed as An Inside Job

Have you seen this, it’s yuge! A heavily armed North Dakota man, claiming to be both Jesus and the son of Marilyn Monroe and John Kennedy (which seems mutually exclusive) was arrested in a failed attempt to kidnap one of the Obama dogs. Has anyone heard from Bakkenwag lately?

Apparently the plot was discovered before the man (also allegedly known as Scott D. Stockert) even left his home in North Dakota and he was arrested in his Washington D.C. area hotel room for unlawful firearms possession.

Insider information (don’t ask me where I got it, I’d have to shoot you) reveals that the plot was actually hatched by the one of the Obama dogs (Little Bo)! It seems both dogs are unhappy being held against their will and have long dreamed of a simpler life running and hunting in North Dakota. It seems that both Little Bo and Sunny have filed multiple complaints with their union representative regarding their treatment and living conditions over the years, butt the Big Dog in the Justice Department refuses to take any action, so they decided to take matters into their own paws. The complaints include the following allegations:

Multiple incidents of cultural appropriation:

Micro-aggressions that violate their safe space:

Trans-species sexual harassment:

Victim shaming (Have you been playing in the “organic” garden again Little Bo? Let’s get you cleaned up.”):

Species shaming (“Oh – look at the cute bunny!”):

Unauthorized use of image for endorsement purposes (multiple):

Trans-species appropriation:

White privilege (south lawn, December 2015; no dogs allowed):

Failure to provide adequate safe places:

And perhaps the most serious charge, existence of on-going hostile environment:

Little Bo has been leading the campaign for freedom for years now,

butt since all else failed he grew desperate and orchestrated the jail-break for Sunny and himself.

Better luck next time, Little Bo.

Get ready Sunny – as soon as he opens the door, we’re making a run for it!

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Obama’s Creative, Imaginary, Non-fiction Common Sense Gun Control

CNN held a "Guns in America" town hall meeting yesterday to give el Presidente an arena to further discuss his common sense “gun safety” controls..

Things we learned: Barry has never actually been a gun owner (although he did play one on TV once): “I don’t have much experience with guns, butt that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to use one.”

Big Guy, shooting unicorns at the Camp David fantasy firing range.

And he acknowledged the limits of his power to confiscate provide gun safety:

As desperate as Obama is to curb gun violence, he had to tell a friend he's known most of his life –[ed. Father Pfleger, fellow Chicago street agitator] who pleaded to make gun registrations more like vehicle registrations -- that he's largely powerless when it comes to sweeping changes.

Of course that’s what he said about immigration too:

“I am president, I am not king,” Obama told Univision in October 2010, when asked why he had yet to achieve comprehensive immigration reform.

Let the record reflect that non-king Barry has acknowledged this fact no less than 21 times, butt as they say, “what difference at this point does it make?”

The NRA declined to participate in the CNN circus, (“The National Rifle Association sees no reason to participate in a public relations spectacle orchestrated by the White House.”) Barry however said he’d be happy to meet with representatives of the NRA who he then accused of “having a stranglehold on Congress” and causing a spike in gun sales by convincing people that “somebody is going to come grab your guns.” Here is his gracious invitation:

“I'm happy to talk to them, but the conversation has to be based on facts and truth…not some...imaginary fiction in which Obama is trying to take away your guns.”

Let’s examine the premise of that statement a bit. Firstly, fiction is imaginary - by definition. Non-fiction on the other hand used to be “based on facts and truth” until some clever English department in one of our elite universities invented a department of  “creative non-fiction” - which on its face is as oxymoronic as “imaginary fiction” is redundant.

MSM was quite taken with this new genre, often blurring the lines of fact and fiction to the point of speciousness (see the decades old tale of Mumia Abu-Jamal’s innocence and the new tale of Steven Avery’s created by the Netflix creative non-fiction documentary). In fact, MSM became so innured of this new method of story telling that they morphed it into another hybrid to better suit their needs: “imaginary creative non-fiction.”

It’s in this category that tales of global warming and climate change fall, as there is an element of truth to it. For many people the climate actually does change – 4 times a year!

Alas, once you remove all the “imaginary” and “creative” aspects from the genre all you have left is “fiction.”

And I’m still trying to determine which category to place BHO’s statement “If you like your plan, you can keep your plan” in – “imaginary fiction,” “creative non-fiction,” or “imaginary creative non-fiction?” Butt again, what difference at this point does it make?

On the Theory and Practice of Time

Russell Chatham, The Heart of Winter

“Have you ever observed that time seems to be going by faster as you get older? There's a reason that one summer seems to stretch out forever when you're a kid, but zips by before you know it when you're 30. That reason is perspective, as a gorgeous interactive visualization, by Austrian designer Maximilian Kiener [ed. if this doesn’t work in IE, try another search engine], demonstrates.”

“When you're one year old, a year is literally forever to you -- it's all the time that you've ever known. But as you grow older, one year is a smaller and smaller fraction of your total life.” - WaPo

Gee, you mean Albert Einstein and I are not the only people to have discovered that the principle of perception applies to time as well as horizons?

Russell Chatham, Moonrise Over the Petaluma River

How disappointing; I don’t feel quite so special anymore. 

Butt how, then, do you explain the sensation that a 30 minute lecture on “gun safety”  seems more like 300 hours?

And if often starts with the words…

“Let me make this perfectly clear…”

Which in Social Justice Warrior-speak means “make no mistake about it, this will not mean what you think it means you small-brained privileged white right-winged haters.”

So as the end of the world approaches at ever increasing speed I suggest we all just take a time out and comtemplate the Theory and Practice of Rivers.

“The head's a cloud anchor that the feet must follow. Travel light, he said, or don't travel at all.” ― Jim Harrison, The Theory & Practice Of Rivers

 

For Barry and his cloud anchor I vote for “don’t travel at all.”

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

A Dicktator Goes Nuclear on Us

“…every time I think of those kids it gets me mad.” –Barack Obama, announcing new gun rules

And who is it, exactly, that you get mad at, Mr. el Presidente?

The shooter? The shooter’s gun? The shooter’s Mom, who legally owned the gun?  No; I forgot; you’re mad at the Second Amendment. And the do-nothing Republican Congress - who won’t pass your common sense gun “safety” laws. That would violate the Second Amendment…that you’re really mad at.

I know what part you don’t like, butt what part of “shall not be infringed” do you not understand?

And I was just wondering: whose kids were you crying for yesterday? Jim Steinle’s?

Kate Steinle, murdered by illegal immigrant

The Terry family’s?

Brian Terry, murdered by a band of dangerous and violent criminals moving freely across the US-Mexico border

Or was it the children of the Stevens’, Smith’s, Woods’ and Doherty’s?

Murdered by…a YouTube video

And while you were busy checking another legacy issue off your things-to-do-to-transform-Amerika list, the world was not asleep. In fact, while the cat’s away…tin pot dictators will play:

NOKO announces a successful hydrogen bomb test over night

So that’s good, yet another backwards, maniacally tyrannical regime may have their hands on weapons of mass destruction. While you’re worried about guns in the hands of patriots.  I know I’m missing something here, because I know you believe in a nuclear free world. I wonder what it could be?

You know what we really need? Some common sense hydrogen bomb safety measures. Starting with expanded background checks on foreign leaders in order to keep hydrogen bombs out of the hands of crazy dictators who feed their uncles to the dogs.

Obama’s legacy for Amerika: a level playing field.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Bubba takes to the trail: The Boyz Are Back in Town –Take 2

Let the record reflect that Bubba has officially taken to the stump for Hilz:

Mr. Clinton appeared a little rusty, rambling at times during his first campaign rally at Nashua Community College…

He talked about his own presidency [ed. of course he did] and the work of his foundation [ed. - I don’t think he really wants to go there; see here for a synopsis of Thomas Lifson’s excellent article on the money laundering scheme], which he mentioned a few times, and about Mrs. Clinton’s ideas and the need to elect a president to fit the times [ed. - technically, that would be The Donald].

At one point he indicated that he was wrapping up the speech, but then began a lengthy descrption of Mrs. Clinton’s years of work in Arkansas and elsewhere to improve education for children and opportunities for low-income people – NYT

I believe this calls for a little traveling music:

 

 

 

Guess who just got back today?
Them wild-eyed boys that had been away

 

Haven't changed, have much to say

But man, I still think them cats are crazy

 

They were asking if you were around

How you was, where you could be found

 

Told them you were living downtown
Driving all the old men crazy

The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town

 

I said
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town

 

You know that chick that used to dance a lot

Every night she'd be on the floor shaking what she'd got

 

Man when I tell you she was cool, she was red hot
I mean she was steaming

 

And that time over at Johnny's place
Well this chick got up and she slapped Johnny's face

 

Man we just fell about the place
If that chick don't want to know, forget her

 

The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town

I said
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town

Spread the word around

Guess who's back in town

You spread the word around

Friday night they'll be dressed to kill

Down at Dino's bar and grill

The drink will flow and blood will spill

And if the boys want to fight, you'd better let them

 

That jukebox in the corner blasting out my favorite song

The nights are getting warmer, it won't be long

Won't be long till summer comes
Now that the boys are here again

 

The boys are back in town 
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town

Spread the word around
The boys are back in town
The boys are back in town 

 

(whispered) The boy's are back, the boys are back

(sung) The boy's are back in town again

 

Been hangin' down at Dino's
The boy's are back in town again

 

Butt somehow that old black magic seems to be missing, just a little:

Butt really - what difference, at this point, does it make?

“I’ll drink to that boyz!”

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network