Showing posts with label michael jackson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label michael jackson. Show all posts

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Michael Jackson TV Drama: Spoliers - he dies in the end

Oh, good. They're turning Michael Jackson's death into a jolly television drama.

(Given it was played out on TV in real time, strictly speaking this is a remake, surely?)

Warner Bros said in a statement that the biography will "examine the soaring highs and deep lows faced by the late popstar - his constant hunt for privacy in a life that was more public than almost any other, and the pressures he endured as someone whose fame made him socially fragile and almost unable to live".
There's a couple of things here, Warner Bros - first, he dies in the end so there's no "almost" required; just "unable to live" will suffice.

Secondly, you start by saying it's going to examine the soaring highs and deep lows, but then... it sounds mostly like deep lows. Unless by "soaring highs" you're specifically talking about whatever it was those drugs his doctor was giving him did.


Saturday, July 25, 2015

It turns out Jar Jar Binks could have been even worse

According to Ahmed Best, who played the most universally despised figure ever to appear on film (and, yes, that's including Triumph Of The Will), his part in Star Wars nearly went to Michael Jackson:

"Me, Natalie Portman, and George's kids - we were at Wembley Arena at Michael Jackson's concert. We were taken backstage and we met Michael.

"There was Michael and Lisa Marie [Presley]. George introduced me as 'Jar Jar' and I was like, 'That's kind of weird.' Michael was like, 'Oh. OK.' I thought, 'What is going on?'

"After Michael had driven off, we all go back up to a big afterparty. I'm having a drink with George and I said, 'Why did you introduce me as Jar Jar?"

"He said, 'Well, Michael wanted to do the part but he wanted to do it in prosthetics and make-up like Thriller.' George wanted to do it in CGI."
Best's theory is that Lucas didn't want to have Jacko in the film because his presence would have overwhelmed the movie. Which is a bit like someone taking a poo in the kitchen sink but moving the dishcloths first so it doesn't get too unhygienic.


Friday, May 29, 2015

"Well, this ranch certainly impressed Suzy and Tim, but can it beat the cottage in the Lake District that Johnnie showed them?"

It feels like Neverland ranch is constantly at the centre of about to be sold stories - even when Jackson was still doing what I guess we can best understand as "sort-of-alive" it was repeatedly being refinanced or eyed as part of a possible firesale, but this time round there's a snooty statement from an auctioneer:

The estate agents have warned off fans hoping to get a glimpse inside the piece of Jackson history, telling the Wall Street Journal anyone wanting to view the property would be subject to "extensive prequalification".
"We're not going to be giving tours," said Suzanne Perkins of Sotheby's International Realty.
I'm not quite sure what the "extensive prequalification" will consist of, but suspect it's going to involve some sort of wallet weighing.


Monday, November 10, 2014

Mercury-Jackson duet blown by Bubbles

Why did that Michael Jackson - Freddie Mercury duet never get finished?

Mercury didn't want to be produced by a chimp:

They were supposed to cut “There Must Be More To Life Than This,” but Mercury couldn’t handle The King of Pop’s weird attachment to his primate pal, The Daily Mail reported on Sunday.

“‘I’m not performing with a f–king chimp sitting next to me each night,’” Mercury exploded, veteran show business journalist David Wigg will write in a book, The Mail reported.

Wigg went on to write: “Freddie got very angry because Michael made Bubbles sit between them and would turn to the chimp between takes and ask, `Don’t you think that was lovely?’ or, `Do you think we should do that again?’

After a few days of this, Freddie just exploded. He phoned his manager and told him to `get me out of this zoo.’ Freddie then flew back to London, leaving the track musically unfinished.”
Got to be honest, it sounds a bit like Bubbles was a yes-chimp.

By the time Mercury turned up to work with Jackson, it was pretty clear that Michael wasn't like other boys, so I suppose it's more surprising that Mercury agreed to the recording session at all.

On the other hand, if he lasted for a "few days" of Bubbles overseeing the desk, there's two questions:

One: Did Mercury keep thinking 'well, maybe he's just taking time to find his monkey feet and might start being a useful member of the team' for those few days?

Two: A few days? How long did it take to knock out a crummy duet single?


Monday, November 03, 2014

Jackobit: Tom Sneddon

Tom Sneddon, the prosecutor who somehow failed to convict Michael Jackson of child abuse, has died.

Jackson made a hamfisted attack on Sneddon via his music (although, to be fair, this was well into the period where everything Jackson did was hamfisted):

Jackson shot back in a thinly disguised swipe at the prosecutor in a song called "D.S." on the "HIStory" album. The song contains the lyrics, "Dom Sheldon is a cold man."
Sheldon, though, maintained that pursuing Jackson brought him no pleasure:
"If he had been convicted I think that part of it would have been a tragedy — like a Greek tragedy play of a person who obviously can bring great joy and entertainment to the people around the world, (who was) obviously a great entertainer at one point in his career, (who) could end up this way for whatever reason," he told The Associated Press in an interview after the verdict.
Sneddon might be better remembered as the man who pursued an Israeli couple accused of murder in the US despite the Israeli bar on extradition. But there were no idiots outside the courtroom with doves for that one, so it's Jackson which marks out his career.

Tom Sneddon was 73.


Monday, August 11, 2014

Who's the worst pop star?

We've got something of an asshole-off this morning.

In one corner, Justin Bieber, insulting the entire disabled community, according to Tom Turner:

I want to share my disappointment and utter disgust at pop star Justin Bieber for his lack of judgment when he was caught using a wheelchair to get past the crowds at Disneyland last month.

The disabled community recently celebrated the 24th anniversary of the signing of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, and his actions where a blatant slap in the face to the disabled community.
That is pretty bad sounding, although something should have alerted Tom that maybe there's more to this story than it seemed on original reports.

Because, first, it's Justin Bieber. Generally, in the fawning Kingdom of Disney, if you have that sort of name recognition, you don't find yourself standing at the back of a two-hour queue at Splash Mountain.

Secondly, as everyone knows, when Bieber wants to cut a queue at Disneyland, he pulls the old 'dressing up as Goofy' ruse.

It's possible that Bieber had a genuine injury. Or, equally, that he was insulting the entire disabled community by using a wheelchair because he's an entitled tit who's too grand to walk around a theme park. We may never know.

But in the battle for worst pop star, there comes a challenge from beyond the grave. It turns out the the corpse of Michael Jackson has more stories to share, as the New York Post has been talking to his former maids:
“Michael sometimes ran around where the animals were, and he’d track . . . poop throughout the house and think nothing of it,” Maid No. 1 recalled. “Then, if you said something, he’d threaten to make doo-doo snowballs and throw it at you.”
The doo-doo snowball, by the way, is the third most popular cocktail at Wetherspoons right now.

So, not wiping his shoes at the door. That's bad. But, like in some sort of Blind Date - Blind Dirt, if you will - there's another maid who wants to share. Maid No. 2, how disgusting was Michael Jackson?
When Oprah Winfrey visited the Los Olivos, Calif., ranch for an interview in 1993, it was pristine. Floors were waxed, walls scrubbed and windows power-washed.

It was after she, guest Elizabeth Taylor and TV crews left the next morning that the real Jacko appeared.

“He literally peed on the floor of the entryway, right where you saw Oprah walk in. It was surreal. He just stood there, unzipped his trousers and watered the floor,” Maid No. 2 said.
That sounds bad, but to be fair, after Oprah has been on your territory, you do need to remark the boundaries. Maybe that's what Jackson was doing.

Maid No. 3 - do you have anything to... oh, you do:
“Any of the children he played with who hit the bull’s-eye would get extra ice cream or anything else they wanted,” said Maid No. 3, who worked from 1996 to 1999. “He hated those guys with a passion. He was surprisingly very anti-Semitic. He’d lead some of the kids in chants: ‘Kill the bastards,’ and ‘Kill the bloodsuckers.’ ”

The maid said Jacko watched in disgust as Spielberg got a Los Angeles Film Critics award in the 1990s.

“It was crazy. He turned into his favorite ‘Twilight Zone’ character, and his eyes kind of bugged out, and he went into this crazy trance, pointing his finger at the television screen and saying, ‘You’re a bad man, a very bad man,’ ” she said, referring to the famed TV series’ character of Anthony Fremont, a boy who “wishes away” anyone who displeases him.

“At first, I thought he’d bust out laughing or something or that he was playing around, but it changed his entire mood. He was dead serious.”

Instead of banishing his foe to a cornfield, as Anthony did, Jacko would wish Spielberg into “Jew hell,” the maid said.
That IS pretty awful, as everyone knows that Shatner's Bob Wilson is the best Twilight Zone character.

It's fair to say that, on the scale of assholery, 'encouraging kids to chant anti-Semitic rants' does knock 'cutting in line at Disneyland' very much into the second division.

Of course, had Bieber been ten years sooner, there's every chance that he would have got an invite to try the white-knuckle rides at Neverland. What a loss to humanity we never got such a crossover episode.


Sunday, August 10, 2014

Michael Jackson loved Gloucestershire

I've read this story, about how a song Michael Jackson wrote about Gloucestershire has leaked onto the internet. I've read it twice. And I'm still not convinced it's anything other than a fantasy Points West item made real:

According to reports, Michael Jackson visited Gloucestershire while he was in The Jackson Five, and apparently said the time spent in the county was among his fondest memories.
Presumably, if the band spent time in Gloucestershire it would have been around the time of the 1972 UK tour?

Coming next week: Aaliyah's passionate love of Dawlish Warren; the Big Bopper's song about Little Rissington


Sunday, August 03, 2014

Homes under the hammer

Coming to the property market: Neverland, Michael Jackson's old home (or Six Flags Xanadu, as it'd have been more appropriate to call it).

It was once a toy town wilderness, complete with carnival rides, artificial lake and a zoo that housed a five-tonne elephant and an orangutan named Patrick.

Now Michael Jackson's famed Neverland Ranch is up for sale for the first time since it was acquired by the King of Pop in 1988 and, despite being valued at $30m (£18m) by California property experts, could sell for between $75m and $85m.

Yes, because who wouldn't want to pay nearly treble the value of an already overpriced house on the off-chance there might be skeletons buried underneath the master bedroom ("for its links to one of the most famous celebrities of the 1980s")?

The funfair has been taken out and replaced with a "zen garden", but they still reckon just upkeep will cost the new owner five million dollars a year.

But there's almost certainly no ghosts of small children haunting the place, so that's an upside.

If the idea of a place where a rich man abused kids and got away with it isn't for you, how about the former home of an angry flying man?

John Denver's Aspen home is on the market:
The main house (6 bedrooms)and the guest house (5 bedrooms)are on two separately deeded lots with separate entrances and driveways but has a lovely walking path between the two featuring the red mountain ditch gurgling along the way.
I think I'd be nervous about anything in the Colorado mountains that has a small stream gurgling away, what with how Colorado floods so easily, but it'd be worth the risk of the views.


Saturday, July 26, 2014

Michael Jackson: Gary school district tries its hand at satire

It's understandable that a town might want to honour its most famous son in some way. It might be more problematic if your town is Gary, Indiana and that son is Michael Jackson.

Still, he was a big star - if a bit controversial - and I'm sure there's an appropriate way of honouring his legacy while not reflecting too deeply on the 'weird around kids' bit. What did you have in mind, Gary?:

Michael Jackson is being honored in his hometown of Gary, Indiana, as the school board plans to rename a school after the iconic pop star.
Not since Vulgaria decided to rename the local elementary after the Child Catcher has there been such an odd decision.
Gary’s school board announced on Tuesday that it will rename a school after the king of pop to “inspire children to excel in the arts and education.”
"because that's what Jackson's known for, right?" they continued. "The singing and the dancing? That was his thing. That was his thing."

They could try and get hold of that statue that used to be outside Craven Cottage. That'd give the full 360 creep-out experience.


Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Digital Spy boosts Janet Jackson's love for freaky brother slide-show stunt

It must be tricky, discovering that someone is going to project a film of your dead brother on stage and pretend that somehow he's "performing". And yet you can't really scream "why are you doing this, like some odd cross between Frankenstein and Barnum?" because that'd cause a shitstorm, too.

So, on Facebook, Janet Jackson's people issue a polite, but non-comital statement:

Janet wishes rumors she'd be at the ‪#‎BillboardAwards‬ were right. She never confirmed as her schedule would not permit. She sends wishes for a great event.
-Janet's Team
To me, that sounds like discussions about taking part happened, possibly up until the bit where Billboard wheeled out the overhead projector and said "... and we'd like you to duet with some photos of your dead sibling."

Afterwards, again on Facebook, Janet was being polite and still non-comital:
My brother, Michael, was, is and always will be a genius. I love you, Mike. Janet
Now, she doesn't say that she really loved that sub-Derek Acorah resurrection routine. It's possible she forgot to mention how brilliant it all was.

Regardless, it's a long journey from those two terse tweets to Digital Spy's interpretation of what they meant:
Janet Jackson "wishes" she'd performed with Michael Jackson hologram
Not only does she not mention performing at all, she expressly, and clearly, makes no mention at all of the unsettling hologram o'resurrection. I think the wishes for the shared stage might be Digital Spy's, rather than Jackson.


Thursday, April 24, 2014

Revelation: Michael Jackson wasn't like other people; front pages held

Besides the heartbreaking detail in the ABC interview with Michael Jackson's bodyguards, the most notable thing is that it was three bodyguards coming forward at once.

Presumably they were grouping together for security.

The three men signed up for personal protection, but the job became much more, they said. Jackson trusted them with his life, his children and his secrets.
Protecting Jacko's secrets, eh? Looks like his choice in bodyguards was as misguided as his taste in doctors.


Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Twittergem: Michael Jackson

Retronaut finds a meeting of minds:


Benny: I'm well known for chasing around scantily-clad people young enough to be my children
Michael: Oh, Benny, I've had that problem too. I'll give you the number of my lawyer.


Saturday, January 25, 2014

Justin Bieber proclaims... something

There might be better way to proclaim your innocence:

"What more can they say," wrote the recently troubled pop star along with a split image of himself and the King of Pop; one half of the image shows Bieber sitting on top of a SUV after leaving police custody, while the other side shows Jackson standing on top of a vehicle in Santa Monica, waving to fans after his infamous "not guilty" plea to charges of child molestation.
I'm not sure if I'd been filmed driving car way too fast, I'd decide the best way to comeback is by comparing myself with someone who never shifted the taint of behaving oddly with kids. But, hey, Justin, whatever works.

What's more interesting is that Rolling Stone still refer to Jackson as "the King Of Pop", despite that being a nickname he chose for himself and one that - by the time he died - should have been more honestly downgraded to perhaps an Earldom.


Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Kim Wilde has eyes as wide as saucers

To be fair, the headline does make Kim Wilde sound a bit more detached than the story does:

Singer Wilde sighted UFO after Michael Jackson death
WTVQ kind-of implies that Kim might have been hinting that the UFO was somehow connected to Jackson's death, throwing up a possibility that he might not really have died but gone to live on Pluto, but really she's just using the death to provide a time of sighting.

Because Kim's a bit psychic, see?
The Kids in America hitmaker is convinced she and many of her family possess mild psychic powers, and the extraterrestrial sighting from the back yard of her home in England in 2009 convinced her.
I'm not entirely sure why one would need to have a psychic power to see something from another planet - unless, of course, it was a ghost UFO.
Wilde tells The New Review magazine, "Maybe a part of me was quite psychic, because we have strong psychics in my family, especially on my father's side... I am tuned into it, a little bit. I don't see ghosts and stuff but I did see something very unusual in the sky once, which I can only say was a UFO. But there were lots of witnesses, it was in the local paper, it wasn't just me...
Does that mean that all those other witnesses were also a little bit psychic? Perhaps this spaceship was hovering over a nearby Spiritualist Church?
"It was 26 June, the day after Michael Jackson died, and me and my mate were in the garden and we saw bright lights in the sky. I have to say there's not a day gone by that I don't think about what the hell it was. It was so huge, two of them, going zig-zag for 10 minutes and I knew it was really massive. It could be some very clever thing that someone developed somewhere, but I've got a feeling it wasn't."
So it wasn't a clever thing that someone had developed somewhere. Which suggests it was a natural phenomena.

"Woman sees natural event she cannot explain and remembers the day it happened by reference to a story in the news". There's your headline, then.


Saturday, October 26, 2013

Michael Jackson: the never-ending battle for his money goes on

The latest person to pitch up to the Jackson estate, writ in hand, is Quincy 'you would have hoped that he was above this sort of thing' Jones, who reckons he's being diddled out of his due:

He says the singer's estate and Sony Music Entertainment improperly re-edited songs to deprive him of royalties and production fees.

Mr Jones says they also broke an agreement giving him the right to remix master recordings for albums released after Jackson's death in 2009.
The Jackson estate are trying to wave it away:
"To the best of its knowledge, Mr Jones has been appropriately compensated over approximately 35 years for his work with Michael," a statement said.
Interesting gambit. "He's been earning money for the work he actually did over three and a half decades; now it's time for us to earn money from something we weren't even involved in for the next four", in short.

Jones is looking for six million quid, or thereabouts. No lawyers at all could be reached for comment, as they were all out shopping for speedboats and gold-encrusted everythings.


Thursday, October 24, 2013

Michael Jackson: Doing very nicely, thank you

Not only is the dead Michael Jackson making more money than any other dead celebrity, but he's making more cash than any living pop star, too, according to Forbes.

You know that somewhere, right now, a manager is pulling an anguished face and saying to a fading singer "well, if you really wanted to maximise your earnings potential..."


Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The cycle of life in action

John Merrick was a sensation; he wasn't like other men.

Michael Jackson was a sensation; he wasn't like other men.

Lady GaGa was a sensation; she wasn't like other women.

John Merrick had a terrible life. He left behind a skeleton.

Michael Jackson had a terrible life. He left behind photos of his head all burned after trying to sell soda.

Michael Jackson tried to buy John Merrick's skeleton.

Lady GaGa is trying to buy the Jackson injury photos.

Showbusiness turns; it then turns again.


Thursday, October 03, 2013

Michael Jackson: AEG cleared

The procession following the death of Michael Jackson continues to march grimly forward, yesterday reaching a key point where a jury decided that AEG weren't responsible for killing him by hiring Conrad Murray.

The New York Times reports:

A California jury decided on Wednesday that Michael Jackson’s final concert promoter, A.E.G. Live, was not responsible for the pop star’s death.

After a five-month trial filled with gruesome details of Jackson’s last days, the case came down to basic questions of contractual relationships and the professional competence of Dr. Conrad Murray, the cardiologist who gave Jackson a fatal dose of the anesthetic propofol four years ago.

After deliberating for about 13 hours over four days, the jury of six men and six women agreed with lawyers for Jackson’s 83-year-old mother, Katherine, that A.E.G. Live had hired Dr. Murray. But they rejected arguments that the doctor was unfit to care for Jackson as he prepared for a series of comeback concerts.
It could have cost AEG USD1.5billion if they'd been found to be culpable. (That's roughly the annual GDP of Belize, if you'd like a meaningless but impressive comparison.)

Refreshingly, the jury decided to treat Michael Jackson as a grown-up who made his own poor decisions.

We're now in a curious place, where Murray is serving a sentence for the involuntary manslaughter of Jackson, but has been found fit to practice. The jury think they can make sense of that, though:
"We felt he was competent," [jury foreman Gregg] Barden said. "That doesn’t mean we felt he was ethical. If ethical was in the question, it might have been a different outcome. In the end, he was very unethical. He did something he shouldn’t have done. "
It's not entirely clear if someone who is unethical is fit to practice, but the jury seemed to think that wasokay.

Barden shakes his head sadly, though:
"There are really no winners in this ... Somebody had to die for us to be here.... It was really a tragic situation."
No winners? As the lawyers pack up and move on to Conrad Murray's appeal hearing, they might disagree, were they not struggling with suitcases packed with money.


Sunday, July 07, 2013

Face '83: Rufus & Chaka Khan

Somewhat missing the point, the Rocklist list for this credits Rufus but makes no mention of Chaka Khan, which you've got to hope is an error in translation rather than a mistake in the Face's original.

This is unquestionably great. Apparently it nearly ended up as a track on Thriller, but Quincy Jones was too slow and by the time he asked, it had been promised to Russ Titelman. You wonder which of the makeweight tracks on Thriller would have been tossed overboard to make room for Aint Nobody if Jones had been quicker - one suspects Paul McCartney could have safely saved a journey to the recording studio.



The Face's judgement 11; the judgement of history 6

[Part of The Face's best recordings of 1983]


Saturday, June 15, 2013

Gordon in the morning: The ghost of a chance

To be fair, Gordon's not connected with the front page of the Sun today; it's down to Pete Samson, currently US editor of the - shall we call it - publication?.

You've probably already seen this, as the world has been convulsing with laughter at the final demise of the Sun as a newspaper since the first edition came out:

Yes, that's right. The Sun's big front page splash comes from a ghost.

And not just a ghost, but a ghost addressing a court via the medium of a former partner of Lionel Ritchie:
MICHAEL Jackson’s death has been declared an accident — by his own GHOST, a court heard.
Jacko, 50, was said to have told Lionel Richie’s ex Brenda that he inadvertently killed himself.
Being even-handed, the ghost of Larry Lamb has been in contact with us (via someone who once had their breasts brushed by Mark Morrison) to point out that it's not as if Pete Samson is claiming that he's had an interview with the moonwalking spectre, and in effect this is simply court reporting.

It's probable that the idea was to have a bit of a guffaw at the very idea that the CEO of AEG, Randy Philips, would trot this guff out under oath:
AEG Live CEO Randy Phillips stunned the wrongful death trial by claiming Jacko had insisted from beyond the grave that his death was an accident — and cleared Dr Murray.

He told jurors at Los Angeles County Superior Court: “Brenda called me to tell me that she was in communications with Michael, either through a medium or directly.

“She said Michael told her it wasn’t Dr Murray’s fault — that he had accidentally killed himself.”

Many in the court burst into laughter, but judge Yvette Palazuelos let the testimony STAND.
It's not clear why this testimony would have stood - it's not even second hand. And it comes from a ghost.

Unfortunately for Samson, his piece has been overpromoted to the front page and presented in such a way that makes it look like the paper believes Jackson's ghost is sending messages from beyond the grave.

And given the low-attention culture which The Sun has done a good part to foster, most people will go away with that impression, too.