FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK...: Test marketing is about to start for a "rock lifestyle" magazine, taking up the slack at EMAP now they've axed Select - god alone knows what the content will be, but it all points to further misery in the wake of the Bizkit number one. My god, what the hell is going on with music at the moment? Only Arab Strap can save us now. Not sure what to make of their new sleeve, either... doubtless an attempt to stay the hand of Beavises and trick them into buying something more worthwhile... though it'll probably bugger their chances of getting a gig at Sheffield Uni...

NO SHADY ON CAMPUS: In a move that makes you put your head in your hands and weep, Sheffield University have purged Eminem, on the grounds of "homophobia." The latest NME reports that the student radio station has been barred from playing any of his records, while the student paper has been barred from reviewing Em's output. No word yet on CD burnings, but we'll keep you posted. Ironically, the Union LGB society apparently thinks the ban is preposterous. We haven't had as much fun since student unions in the 80's attempted to ban Blur gigs because of their naked Hippo-back woman sleeve...
Quick! Ban the Barenaked Ladies - stop the demeaning name from sullying the halls...

RUBY RETURNS: Another "where the hell have you been, then?" return, as Ruby returns after four years not doing much. Led by ex-Silverfisher Lesley Rankine, Ruby made that there Tiny Meat track about little willies, and are just all-round excellent. Lesley's left Seattle and moved back to Britain, and the new website has that so-zeitgeisty toy of the 21C, a 'remix the tracks for yourself' slot. Hoo-bleedin'-rah. Now all we need is something from Kevin Sheilds, other than the sound of him honking in the background of a Primal Scream party. Oh, yeah, the band have pitched up on Martin Carr's Wichita Recordings label, which seems to be where the best bits of the Creation diaspora are making their homes.
Ruby website. Go on, mix it

LIVIN' IT UP WHEN I'M GOIN' DOWN: Following a drunken bet that went wrong, Rosie Wilby, long-term favourite and woman of Ormskirk, is finding herself having to cover Aerosmith's Love In An Elevator in Stoke Newington's Due South. Which we would pay large cash sums for an MP3 of. And while we're on the subject, there's free Wilby stuff available on covermount CDs coming with the next issues of Breakthru and Rock and Reel.
Wilby - Queen of the sparkly parka scene

THEY'LL BE MAKING US PAY FOR WATER NEXT: Napster announces plans to levy membership fee, then. Not clear yet if this is good news for Metallica, or just really, really good news for other peer to peer file sharing platfroms.
BBC News reports - yeah, but this still won't allow record companies a raking-off percentage, will it?
Wired News: 70% said they'd pay a subscription fee - yeah, right; the only thing holding people back from paying for Napster downloads in the past was they just didn't know who to make the cheques out to...

AS THE STARS GO OUT: They've just played Dubstar on Music Choice, and a tear almost formed in my cold, hard cynical eye. Only almost, somehow I dont think they'd want me to be sat here crying quietly to myself. Someday, I'd like to have the cash to establish a kind of petting-zoo record label - one which was dedicated to collecting the bands that splinter in the face of a record deal that gets terminated. For less than the cost of two Robbie Williams videos, it'd probably be enough to set up a label that won't function as a career-building organisation (not that Island et al do that these days anyway) but would provide the money for records to be made, with a guarantee that they'd actually be released at the end of it. Until then, we'll just have to watch bands like Dubstar head crumbling off, shuffling towards New Deal interviews and a lifetime of saying "No, seriously, I've got a copy of the album we made upstairs somewhere..."