Science explains Freddie Mercury

Science doesn't just listen to old Queen records. Science tries to understand old Queen records.

Science has decided that Freddie Mercury was basically like those Tuvan throat singers:

Those guys are so flamboyant.

Science doesn't say that Fred ever quite matched them for subharmonics, but science says he came close:

Subharmonics help "in creating the impression of a sound production system driven to its limits, even while used with great finesse," write the Austrian, Czech, and Swedish researchers in the Logopedics Phoniatrics Vocology journal. "These traits, in combination with the fast and irregular vibrato, might have helped create Freddie Mercury's eccentric and flamboyant stage persona."

I think the outfits might have helped a little.

Science is now working on trying to fathom out Brian May.

Mercury-Jackson duet blown by Bubbles

Why did that Michael Jackson - Freddie Mercury duet never get finished?

Mercury didn't want to be produced by a chimp:

They were supposed to cut “There Must Be More To Life Than This,” but Mercury couldn’t handle The King of Pop’s weird attachment to his primate pal, The Daily Mail reported on Sunday.

“‘I’m not performing with a f–king chimp sitting next to me each night,’” Mercury exploded, veteran show business journalist David Wigg will write in a book, The Mail reported.

Wigg went on to write: “Freddie got very angry because Michael made Bubbles sit between them and would turn to the chimp between takes and ask, `Don’t you think that was lovely?’ or, `Do you think we should do that again?’

After a few days of this, Freddie just exploded. He phoned his manager and told him to `get me out of this zoo.’ Freddie then flew back to London, leaving the track musically unfinished.”

Got to be honest, it sounds a bit like Bubbles was a yes-chimp.

By the time Mercury turned up to work with Jackson, it was pretty clear that Michael wasn't like other boys, so I suppose it's more surprising that Mercury agreed to the recording session at all.

On the other hand, if he lasted for a "few days" of Bubbles overseeing the desk, there's two questions:

One: Did Mercury keep thinking 'well, maybe he's just taking time to find his monkey feet and might start being a useful member of the team' for those few days?

Two: A few days? How long did it take to knock out a crummy duet single?

Mercury falling

That Freddie Mercury film? The one with Sacha Baron Cohen/hold on no it's Ben Whishaw as Fred?
Starting to look increasingly like it's never going to happen. The Telegraph's Mandrake column brings the news:

So when will Whishaw actually set about the business of rocking us? “Actually, I don’t know what’s happening, it seems to be on the back-burner,” the Paddington star now admits in an interview with Time Out London. “It was going, then there were problems getting the script working.”

I'm taking this to mean the studio are going "he's being gay on too many pages", but it could simply be they're asking if Brian May wouldn't mind if his character became a wisecracking CGI badger. (I suspect Brian May wouldn't mind.)

NME casts Katy Perry as Mary Austin

To be fair to the NME, they do at least put a question mark at the end of the headline, but even so:

Katy Perry to play Freddie Mercury's girlfriend in new film?

The strongest thing you could say is that Perry is campaigning for the job:

A source has said that Perry is interested in the role of Mercury's girlfriend, Mary Austin, commenting: "Katy would love to be in the film as she is such a huge fan. She would want to play Mary Austin ideally. Katy has a similar look to Mary and would be a brilliant foil to Sacha."

If thta's her pitch - she looks a bit like Austin and would be a "foil" to Sacha Baron Cohen - it sounds like someone might have some more research to do. Or possibly should set her sights a little lower. I hear there's a new Muppet movie being put together.

Freddie Mercury returns to the stage

Because we can't leave the dead alone anymore, of course Freddie Mercury is going to be dragged on stage for the 10th anniversary of We Will Rock You.

Speaking to the BBC, [Brian] May said the anniversary performance of the popular West End show, on May 14 at the Dominion Theatre, will be celebrated with an "an optical illusion of sorts" that will leave the audience saying "'did we actually see Freddie?'"

No, I don't think they will. If Freddie Mercury really was on the stage, I don't think anyone would be in any doubt, would they?

And, seriously, who'd go to all the trouble of reanimating a corpse unless people were going to notice?

May is quite clear what this won't be:

He added that the effect would be similar to the one created for the late rapper Tupac, who 'appeared' onstage at last month's Coachella Festival in California as a hologram. May explained: "It's a little unfortunate they did that thing with Tupac as we've been trying to make Freddie appear on the stage for quite a while."

May went on to say that they would not, however, be using the same technique to bring back Mercury, who passed away in 1991, saying the hologram technology "is something we've looked at ourselves but I think probably for a show that runs eight shows a week it's not really quite practical."

In other words it's too expensive, then.

Not clear exactly what the "optical illusion" will be, then: perhaps it'll be a drawing that's a duck when you look at it one way, but then is a still from Crazy Little Thing Called Love when you look at it another? Or maybe the programme will have a little flicker book of Mercury in the corner, and the audience will be told to thumb through their pages in tune to Radio GaGa?

Adam Lambert not even worth a 'you're no Mercury' gag

I'm struggling to think of under what circumstances 'giving his job to Adam Lambert' could be considered a tribute to Freddie Mercury.

Gordon in the morning: The dead cannot complain

News of the failed Freddie Mercury & Michael Jackson project being revived this morning:

IT has been a while since Michael Jackson fans had anything to celebrate.

Really? I'm pretty sure I spotted most of the rump turning a manslaughter verdict into a tailgate party just a few days ago. But do carry on:

But his loyal army can now look forward to songs he recorded with Freddie Mercury being released next year.

You say that like it's a good thing.

These recordings were done in 1983, and were so toxic they have been stored ever since in a sealed metal box somewhere under Pencross Fell. So why disinter them now?

Brian [May] has put to rest any money-making conspiracies that always seem to surface.

To be fair to May, I suspect he's being honest - he has a track record of being led by curiosity into doing terrible things - although it's hard to believe that's the motivation for the Jackson family.

Still, something that was so disappointing that the people involved didn't want them released while they were still alive. Why drag it out now?

If you haven't done so yet...

On Freddie Mercury's birthday, Google have produced a - naturally - flamboyant Google doodle to mark the day.

Why do people bother with Bing?

Brian May upset by something or other to do with Michael Jackson

I'm not entirely clear why Brian May has got such a hump on by the Jackson-Mercury tracks popping up on the web:

May revealed the existence of the songs earlier this week (begs29Jun09), saying, “He (Jackson) used to come and see us when we were on tour in the States. He and Freddie became close friends, close enough to record a couple of tracks together at Michael’s house, tracks which have never seen the light of day.”

But the rocker has been left incensed after two tunes by the pair, State Of Shock and There Must Be More To Life Than This, ended up on video sharing website YouTube.com.
He fumes, "The music thieves at work as usual."

I love the way ContactMusic explain what YouTube is, just in case you don't know.

Is May's hump as "music thieves" (who has actually stolen anything?) down to that now, when he goes "ha ha, there was a secret session no common folk have ever heard" people will go "actually, yeah, we have."