Digital Spy boosts Janet Jackson's love for freaky brother slide-show stunt

It must be tricky, discovering that someone is going to project a film of your dead brother on stage and pretend that somehow he's "performing". And yet you can't really scream "why are you doing this, like some odd cross between Frankenstein and Barnum?" because that'd cause a shitstorm, too.

So, on Facebook, Janet Jackson's people issue a polite, but non-comital statement:

Janet wishes rumors she'd be at the ‪#‎BillboardAwards‬ were right. She never confirmed as her schedule would not permit. She sends wishes for a great event.
-Janet's Team

To me, that sounds like discussions about taking part happened, possibly up until the bit where Billboard wheeled out the overhead projector and said "... and we'd like you to duet with some photos of your dead sibling."

Afterwards, again on Facebook, Janet was being polite and still non-comital:

My brother, Michael, was, is and always will be a genius. I love you, Mike. Janet

Now, she doesn't say that she really loved that sub-Derek Acorah resurrection routine. It's possible she forgot to mention how brilliant it all was.

Regardless, it's a long journey from those two terse tweets to Digital Spy's interpretation of what they meant:

Janet Jackson "wishes" she'd performed with Michael Jackson hologram

Not only does she not mention performing at all, she expressly, and clearly, makes no mention at all of the unsettling hologram o'resurrection. I think the wishes for the shared stage might be Digital Spy's, rather than Jackson.

Bookmarks - Internet stuff: Janet Jackson

Fluxblog gives Janet Jackson some love:

As a singer, Jackson is very underrated. There’s nothing ostentatious about her vocals — there’s no melisma, no belting. She sings to suit melody and she never upstages her rhythm. The songs are often deceptive in their apparent simplicity, often escalating toward demanding high notes.

Jackson resurrected for charity effort

The We Are The World effort for Haiti is clear-sighted. Egos put to one side, pulling together for the common good. Not losing sight of the victims. Not forgetting what it's all about.

It's all about Michael Jackson:

The singer who passed away in June last year will not only be featured on the hook but also make a cameo on its accompanying music video. The late King of Pop will appear posthumously in a split-screen with his sister Janet Jackson joining him. The idea of putting him in the project comes from Michael's mother Katherine Jackson and Janet herself.

Thank god they thought of that - after all, otherwise the focus of the exercise might have been the people in that country with the earthquake, instead of being just another adjunct of the Michael Jackson Industry.

"To have Michael's presence singing his part is the best gift we could ever get," Lionel told Access Hollywood. "His original image and him seeing his part."

Really, Lionel? A bit of tatty old footage is "the best gift" you could get? You don't think, what with how this is meant to be a charity fundraiser for people who have lost everything a better gift might have been if the Jackson family had said "here, we'll sign Billie Jean over to UNICEF for as long as the copyright lasts"? Or, you know, something that didn't reduce the dead and injured into a sideshow?

On Michael's duet with Janet, he said, "It was all put together with fabulous choreography. It's magical."

If Jacko actually dances, that would be magical.

There are some things that should not be done, even if they are possible. I mean, I can't think of any way in which they could have made We Are The World II any more tawdry.

It's filmed in 3-D

It turns out they're more imaginative than I am.

[Again, thanks to Michael M]

"Or maybe LaToya... and... perhaps Liz Taylor?"

The Daily Telegraph uses the comfort blanket of "it has been reported" to try and distance itself from running this piece of speculation:

Janet Jackson could take her brother Michael Jackson's place for some of the concerts he was due to perform at London's O2 Arena, it has been reported.

The four remaining members of the Jackson 5 may also appear as a backing band if some of the 50 scheduled shows go ahead despite the 50year-old's death.

Promoters are said to be in talks with Michael Jackson's siblings about filling in at some of the concerts, and may also be considering honouring all the dates by projecting a digital image of Jackson onto the stage.

Ah, yes. I paid seventy five quid to see the King Of Pop (TM) and instead see someone projecting a slide of a dead guy onto the stage alongside Randy Jackson. I'm not going to feel cheated, am I?

Supreme Court to inspect Janet Jackson's breasts

It lasted only three sixteenths of a second, and yet, five years on, we're still not at the end of the Janet Jackson nipple slip. Now, the Supreme Court is going to inspect the appeal court's rejection of the ridiculous fine that CBS was hit with after a slice of nipple fluttered across the TV screens during Superbowl 2004.

Ofcom might sometimes attach itself to the passing mob, but at least it manages to come to its conclusions, however poor, fairly quickly.

Let it drop now: FCC appeals Janet Jackson's nipple ruling

The Superbowl nipple slip continues to churn on: the FCC has decided to appeal against a court ruling which had thrown out fines levied on TV companies who inadvertently showed a fleeting glimpse of Janet Jackson's nipple.

The FCC - who you might have thought would have had better things to do - seems determined that the point of principal which it thinks it was upholding remains a running problem on the fifth anniversary of the incident.

Janet Jackson: Unfit and not working again

The much-trumpeted return of Janet Jackson to work, erm, didn't happen after all: doctors stepped in and stopped her from playing Connecticut on Saturday. Dates for the tour are busily being rescheduled for early next week, but reports suggest she's already pulled out of her Madison Square Garden booking for Thursday.

Janet Jackson: fit and working again

Worry no longer: Janet Jackson is over whatever it was that was wrong with her and is back in action. LiveNation has statementised on her behalf:

“Janet, who has been under her doctor’s care and recuperating over the last week, is excited about getting back on the road and again being able to share with her fans what she feels is one of her best stage shows ever."

Yes. It's that feeling that this one of - not the best, but one of - her best ever stage shows that is making Janet especially excited. Every time she thinks of how the stage set is somewhere in the top three of her sets, she has to swallow hard and count to ten to help her keep breathing.

Jackson sick

CNN are saying Janet Jackson was rushed to hospital shortly before she was due on stage in Montreal, and who are we to doubt that they checked the word "rushed" before publishing? If CNN says she was "rushed", then she was rushed, and not merely taken.

Island population decreases

More gloomy news for major labels - Janet Jackson (now, apparently, the most popular Jackson of them all) has had enough of Island DefJam. Her people have issued a statement:

"Always known to break new ground and set trends, Janet's departure from Island makes her one of the first superstar artists to have the individual freedom to promote their work through a variety of avenues such as iTunes, mobile carriers and other diverse and innovative channels."

Mmm. It's a little late to be turning up at a thriving Western outpost, book a room in the hotel, order a cold beer and claim to be a pioneer, especially when Jackson's plans are wrapped around such a vague "other diverse and innovative channels". iTunes is many things, but it's not been innovative for half a decade.

Jackson attempts to get into the closet

You'd have thought that, if you were most famous for having a "wardrobe malfunction", you might not be the best person to head up a clothing brand. Janet Jackson is going to give it a try, though, flogging sexy undies.

She's calling her pants and bras line The Pleasure Principle, after one of her hits. There are currently no plans in place for a range of chastity belts called Let's Wait A While.

Janet Jackson's nipple: Now half a million bucks cheaper

The Janet Jackson Superbowl nip-slip wasn't indecent enough to justify the FCC fine, a US court has ruled. The federal appeals court tossed the $550,000 fine the FCC levied against CBS on the grounds that it was acting out of character:

The court found that the FCC deviated from its nearly 30-year practice of fining indecent broadcast programming only when it was so "pervasive as to amount to 'shock treatment' for the audience."

"Like any agency, the FCC may change its policies without judicial second-guessing," the court said. "But it cannot change a well-established course of action without supplying notice of and a reasoned explanation for its policy departure."

The overall effect was somewhat spoiled when CBS executives present in the court dropped their trousers for a bare-arsed celebration.

Jacksons reunite?

With band reunions happening every thirteen seconds, you might as well just pluck names out the air since, mostly, sooner or later any band will recoalesce. That's probably why Yahoo is happy to report there might be a Jackson 5 reunion.

We, however, have our doubts:

Leonard Rowe promoted Michael Jackson's Off The Wall tour the late '70s/early '80s. He has now met with the Jacksons to discuss the possibility of a reunion tour in 2008.

Rowe told Access Atlanta: "His brothers are ready. Janet is ready. But the motor of that car that makes the car run, isn't just yet."

Leaving aside the clunking automobile metaphor - Randy and Tito, presumably, are the running boards and Jermaine would be the sunroof? - why would Janet be involved in a Jackson 5 reunion, given that it was a boys-only sort of band?

Exactly how many Tyler Perry fans live in Sacramento

Curious this: a Sacramento CW anchor is forced to give a groveling apology to Tyler Perry and Janet Jackson on-air, after making the "mistake" of assuming that the only really interesting thing Jackson has done in years is getting her tit out on the Superbowl.

The channel had apparently been inundated with complaints that the interview had focused on that rather than the poor new film Jackson and Perry have made - the anchor claimed 19,000 to him alone.

19,000? There are that many people in Sacramento who (a) watch The CW and (b) care enough to send emails? Or, is it more likely that the network has been the target of an orchestrated campaign by people who didn't even see the original interview?

Shall we start a campaign to get that apology withdrawn on-air?

Choked by Janet Jackson

We can imagine that being throttled by a big, burly security guard is an upsetting experience, but is it really upsetting to the tune of $120 million?

That's how much Leonard Salati is looking for from Janet Jackson, claiming her security choked him when he tried to pass a note to her at a nightclub back in 2004.

The case has just been given leave to proceed by Justice Rolando Acosta, despite attempts by Camp Jackson to have the claim tossed.