Golly, October 2017 was my last blog post! Until March 2018, the blogging lag was just
that………….no interest in blogging, and some of the sewing projects never panned
out. Such is life.
Then on Tuesday, March 20, my world became a whirlwind -
something sad, new, and a whole lot of responsibility to keep a promise
made. You see, my friend of 40+ years,
“T,” had passed away, and I was notified by one of her doctors. I was always listed as her “emergency
contact” when she was off on a wonderful trip – generally somewhere abroad, and
at any office that needed an “emergency contact” listed—which included her
doctors.
Without going into all the details, she died alone, in her
home, and was not found until her neighbors got worried that they had not seen
her in a couple of days and called the police for a welfare check. The last person she had talked with was her
travel agent about an Alaskan cruise scheduled for May.
I had to go on automatic pilot at that point. I contacted the Medical Examiner to find out
what I had to do to get her body released to the funeral home. She had one surviving brother in Washington
state; I notified him, and he made the call back to the ME to notify that I was
the Executor of her Estate, and I would be handling all things here in Texas.
The rest of the week was a blur – funeral home, burial,
checking the status of her affairs at her condo in Dallas, hiring an attorney,
cleaning out her condo and on and on. We
lived almost 50 miles apart. We worked
together almost 35 years and retired within a month of each other just over 10
years ago. We went from seeing each
other every work day and having a set lunch date once each week to meeting
once/month for lunch after retirement. Of
course, when anything needed to be communicated, each of us was just a phone
call away.
I was with her during her breast cancer treatments, her back
surgery, the loss of both of her parents, and her baby sister. She was with me during the loss of my mother,
surgery and hospitalization of my husband.
Funny that we didn’t have a great deal in common, (I sewed/ she
traveled, I loved animals/she said she couldn’t even keep a plant alive) we
were close and always could count on one another.
About six or seven years ago, she asked if I would take care
of her Estate when the time came. She
had the one brother but he was thousands of miles away from Texas and was not
in the best of health. After thinking it
over (knowing what a big responsibility that could be) I agreed. You see, I think she felt I was her “Texas
family” a feeling I think I shared without really realizing it.
Four months of working in her condo, handling some needed
repairs, sorting through papers and belongings, selling furniture, etc. finally
resulted in putting her condo on the market for sale. Fortunately, it sold rather quickly, and one
major step was completed.
Spending hours and hours in her condo was cathartic for me I
think. I relived conversations, events,
etc, as I handled paper, and trinkets that had meaning to her.
I’ve done such sorting and cleaning for family members upon
their deaths, but this seemed different, and it was - A totally different
relationship with “T.” In my mind,
we should still have the opportunities
for many more lunches and conversations, BUT, as we all know, life can change
in an instant, and are any of us really prepared?
Retreating to my sewing room for a few projects here and
there during this stressful period of time has helped. After all, it is a happy place for me --
gives me time to reflect on good friends and good memories.
