Like a Good Neighbor, My Husband is There

I find it tremendously ironic that I was selected to give the Action/Evangelization talk on the Women’s Cursillo Weekend held April 24-27, 2014.  Not only was I on team with a number of people who have a great deal more experience in performing the corporal works of mercy than I do, but I’m also married to someone who is naturally not just a good neighbor to the many people who live in our building, but who is often a very Christ-like one. 

   
He goes above and beyond the usual, signing for a package if someone has asked you to hold it for them until they get back or letting someone know they’ve left their headlights on.  I can’t tell you how many times

he has helped the people who live in our building. 

He’s done work on their vehicles or assisted them with repairs, given individuals who are handicapped rides to the store, taken care of cats while their owners are out of town, provided bags of groceries when people were struggling to put food on the table, helped people network who were looking for a new job, let someone borrow his bicycle for several months so they wouldn’t have to buy one to train for a competition, changed light bulbs and did various other household chores too challenging for those who are elderly and/or have disabilities, reported suspicious activity to the police, listened while people tell them about their day or about their whole life story, provided encouragement and support to those who have been struggling in mind, body, or spirit…

He’s the one who knows everyone’s name and asks them how things are going then actually listens to the response.  We saw one of our neighbors in a wheelchair, and Kevin found out after a few different attempts (because my husband doesn’t speak Spanish) what had happened to him. 

The husband and father of two girls fell 20 feet off of a ladder, breaking both of his ankles.  Kevin noticed that the front tire of their car had been slashed.  It was completely flat and would need to be replaced, so he offered to go and get a new tire and put it on for them.  They agreed to this.  When he went to return the car keys, they wanted to pay him, but he refused any compensation for the new tire or the labor.  We agreed it was a very practical way that we could offer them assistance during a difficult time.

    
Kevin is preparing to give the Laity talk on the upcoming Men’s Cursillo Weekend being held July 24-27, 2014, at Sacred Heart, New Bohemia.  He’s got a number of wonderful descriptions of the roles of laypeople in the Church.  What amuses me is that he hasn’t yet included any of the number of day-to-day things that come naturally to him and count as ways to minister to others.  Isn’t that often the way, though?  The people who are best at doing something are the ones who question their aptitude, downplay their abilities, or doubt the validity of what they have to offer. 

When I see so much everywhere I look that I feel I could or should be doing, it’s refreshing to look at my husband.  He reminds me just by being who he is and where he is he’s glorifying the Lord.      

Cursillo Weekend: Great Mercy Living Hope

     After months of prayers and preparations, the 465th Cursillo Women's Weekend is finally upon us.  I'm so very excited to be a part of this amazing team brought together to do God's work!  What a blessing this experience has been, and the best is yet to come!

Please keep the team and candidates in your prayers this Thursday through Sunday (April 24-27, 2014) as we gather to bask in God's love and His Great Mercy, so that we may return to the world as renewed sources of Living Hope!

Don't forget that this Sunday April 27, 2014 is extra special.  It's Divine Mercy Sunday as well as the canonization of two popes.

DE COLORES!!

The Three Holiest Days of the Year: The Easter Triduum

We are about to enter into the three holiest days of the Christian calendar which are celebrated as one unbroken service.  Many people, including a number of practicing Catholics, don't realize that beginning at sunset on Holy Thursday, through Good Friday, and the Easter Vigil on Holy Saturday into Easter Sunday are the three holiest days in the year. These three days, starting Thursday evening and going through Sunday evening are known as the Holy Triduum.  They give us a wonderful opportunity to pray and reflect on Christ's Passion, death, and Resurrection.

A Holy Week overview in two minutes:

Over the years, I have prayerfully written a number of reflections on these three holiest of days and how they are observed.  Below, I've included links to those reflections as well as to those posts that chronicle the joyous, miraculous occasion of my husband returning to the Catholic faith.

Holy Thursday: Washing of the feet and Institution of the Eucharist

This evening we will remember what Christ did in His 72 hours on earth.  To read more about the significance of Holy Thursday and what we do to honor it, check out this reflection.

Good Friday: Veneration of the Cross

A reflection on The First Station of the Cross

A new look at Christ's words on the Cross: "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?"

Remembering Christ's Sorrowful Passion

Easter Vigil: A culmination of the faith and summary of Christianity through Scripture reflection, songs, and sacraments.  Saturday evening is when people are Baptized and brought into the church through the Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults.

Easter Triduum Observation

 Fond Memories from 2013 Triduum

Check out Very Special Fond Memories of the Holy Week for a more detailed account of one of the best Holy Week's of my life, when my husband Kevin returned to the Catholic Church in 2000 (and was named "the patron saint of boyfriends" by Fr. Remi Sojka, the priest who served our Catholic Campus Ministry at Hollins University and Roanoke College.

May you and your family have a very blessed and most Holy Triduum!

In Case You Were Wondering Where I've Been

     As part of the ongoing discernment I know to be life-long necessity for all who try to be open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit,  I have been prayerfully listening and making some changes I have felt urged to undergo in how I spend my time, energy, etc.  It has been a tremendous gift and encouragement that Kevin has decided going to daily Mass several times during the week would be his Lenten devotion, because there are few things that remind me of God's love and ability to change hearts and minds than sitting and holding hands with my dear husband at Mass.  

     I've been subbing at school pretty often, still reading a lot (mostly in English but also some French), and Kevin's been doing some odd jobs here and there while still looking for a full-time job with benefits.  We're both still praying and waiting for whatever will be the next big thing we undertake, but right now we're content to be serving on really wonderful Cursillo teams and growing closer to the Lord and each other.   

     I realized in hopping from one blog to the next to try and keep up with what’s going on in the world and the blogosphere, attempting to participate in the right link-ups and get the most visitors to my blog with frequent, timely posts was making my prayer time, faith formation, closest relationships, and my vocation to write (particularly: spiritual reflections, personal letters, and prayers) suffer.  

     This is why I have not been participating in 7 Quick Takes Friday recently or posting quite as often as I have at other times.  I have been getting back to a more regular chunk of time for daily prayer, journaling, writing reflections, letters, and things more often, and it's been good to process things with pen and paper and decide what I will share, if anything, on my blog.  Writing because I love to write and am inspired is something I don't want to lose and can too often get away from when I have too many of the how to have a wildly popular blog or what you should be writing about or commenting on things going through my head.  

     It's more important to me to have an active prayer life, loving relationships in person, and time to listen and reflect on what God is asking of me, than it is to see how much blog traffic I can get.  I get caught up in the shoulds and coulds ideas, and suddenly, I find myself stressed out, fragmented, unsettled without enough prayer time, disconnected from loved ones.  

     Plus, I figure that if I am dedicated to prayer and open to what the Lord wants of me, then what I write will reach the people that would find it helpful to read and ponder whenever and if ever they happen upon my blog.     

     I stepped back to look at how I have been spending my time by asking and praying about the following: 

1. What goals or motivation have influenced my choices the most? 

2. Does the Lord come first and my relationship with my husband second before everyone and everything else? 

3. What do I need to do differently so that my time, actions, energy, and on what I spend money reflect that God is first and foremost in my life and that our marriage comes before all else?

     I know it’s not a coincidence that I’ve been prompted to ask myself these questions when I am more often around people for whom prayer, faith formation, and acts of service are a way of life.  Certainly, when surrounded by those who do their best to put Christ first, I am more inclined and challenged to do the same thing.  For those reasons, I am incredibly grateful for the local Cursillo community as well as the Christ Renews His Parish contingency from our parish. 

     Earlier this week I had lunch with my mom, and we had an interesting discussion about how the decisions we make—both big and small, public or private—affect other people, especially those closest to us, whether we want them to or not.  I was mentioning how apparent it has been to me that I want and need to be around Christian community who make prayer, ongoing discernment, and faith formation a priority in their lives.  Their example inspires, encourages, and motivates me.

     The other side of that is also true: the time I spend with the Lord (or don’t) affects every single one of my interactions with other people—not just in terms of their faith and prayer lives, but in every aspect of our lives. 

     The best thing I can do is God’s Will both for me and for everyone else.  To be conformed to God’s Will, I have to spend time in prayer, take part in the Sacraments, and be aware and respectful of His Presence in each person and living thing. 

     In order to do this, I need to be aware of my own proclivities, downfalls, and sinful inclinations, so that I draw closer to Christ.  Once I step into the light of Jesus, He then creates in me a new, more loving, gentle, compassionate, tender, and merciful heart.  With a renewed heart and spirit, I am able to be a better, bigger vessel for the Holy Spirit to work in and through. 

     The more I am open to the Lord and fully present to the people He’s put in my life, especially those physically in my presence, the more God’s love will shine in, through, and around me. 

     Lord, so often I look around and see what others are doing and determine in my own mind the value of what they’re doing and how they’re doing it, but I’m much more hesitant to observe and be mindful of my own thoughts and actions.  If I spend too much time looking inward, I easily become discouraged, depressed, doubtful, sorrowful, and afraid.  If I remain focused on You, then love, great mercy, living hope, and compassion will be closer to the surface. 

     God can and wants to work in and through me to bring others closer to Him.  Am I going to rejoice in that and cooperate or resist and refuse to go along? 

     Truthfully, I’ll likely do some of each.  Fortunately, He can bring about good even from my unwillingness and stubbornness in responding to His grace.    

How Faith, Technology, and You Can Be Part of the New Evangelization

Each of us has a unique story, a special relationship with God that others can and want to learn from.  There are many ways we can share what God has done in our lives and point out to others what we can see Him doing in, through, and around them.  When it comes right down to it, the most important aspects of life we can share with others are those that stem from a close relationship with Jesus Christ.  Participation in the Sacraments, a conscious effort to grow in holiness, and how we live our lives are three of the most essential, powerful witnesses to God’s unconditional love, mercy, compassion, forgiveness, peace, joy, and hope our world.  Because of technology and our ever-changing world, many people are seeking Truth, looking for answers, and learning about faith in new ways. 

What are some types of technology that have it easier for you to keep in touch with family, friends, conduct business, etc.?  Most people answer: cell phones, the Internet, websites, blogs, social media, iPods & MP3 players for music, podcasts, lectures, movies and TV shows, Youtube, and Skype are the main types of technology that has allowed them to connect with friends, family, neighbors, clients, customers, and readers from around the globe. 

Do you use your cell phone as a tool for evangelizing and spreading the love of the Lord?

Here’s an excerpt from a Blog Post I wrote in 2010: Text Messages with Deeper Meaning

      I was having a rough weekend when John, who has become a dear brother to Kevin and me, reached out via text messages to remind me of God’s love, His view of me, and how both remain the same regardless of how I’m feeling.

     While in a cloud of doubt and negativity, John texted me the following messages:

          don't believe the accuser. you are a beloved child of God

          He will give you the strength to keep going

          Remember that every hair on your head is numbered. Not a sparrow falls to the ground          

          without your Heavenly Father's knowledge. u are worth much more than sparrows

          As the Father has loved me so I have loved you. -Our Lord Jesus

          Remember that even Mary said she was the Lord's lowly servant.

          Read psalm 139. He loves you so much. don't worry about accepting it but give Him    

          what little you can.  That will be enough. I promise. Say Jesus I trust in you

          Don't worry about your feelings. God sees your depth and at your depth you truly love Him.

     Pursue Me, a CD by Danielle Rose that has a song titled “Psalm 139” on it.  Danielle Rose, a music missionary who writes all of her lyrics in the Presence of the Blessed Sacrament, has inspired me a great deal over the years.  I first heard her music in June 2006 when I made my Cursillo weekend, and ever since, she has served as an amazing example of someone who uses the gifts she’s given to spread God’s love, help others grow in their faith, and glorify the Lord by their lives.

That year John gave us a copy of

     Any tool that makes communication and connecting with others easier can be used to evangelize.  For example, many people have apps on their phones and/or tablets for praying the Rosary, the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, the Liturgy of the Hours, and the daily Mass readings.

     Social media has become an extremely popular way of interacting with others.  It’s changed the way we find out and what we think about current events.  I know that Facebook has dramatically changed who and how I am in touch with people including family members, friends, other Catholics, Christians, authors, motivational speakers, prominent priests, publishers, writers, bloggers, book enthusiasts, Respect Life advocates…

     Can Facebook and other types of social media actually help us live out our vocation to spread the Gospel with our lives?  Absolutely!  Here’s how:

o   Prayer requests

o   Respect Life photos, stories and advertisements

o   Pointing out discrepancies between mainstream secular media coverage versus what the Pope actually says and what the Catholic Church teaches

o   Spreading awareness of social justice issues and solutions

o   Sharing political concerns and information

o   A fast, fun way to share things with personal connections, family, and friends

o   Sharing the Gospel through articles, cartoons, photos, music, videos

What do your status message, photos, and the things you post on your Facebook wall and other people’s say about who and what is important to you? 

Here is a smattering of the different types of things you can share on Facebook that could be considered a form of evangelization:

An article about Pope Francis from a Catholic, not secular news source

·         A personal prayer: Lord, help us this day and each to glorify You by embracing the Truth that we are made in Your image, known by You intimately, and loved by You unconditionally. Amen.
·         A quote from Scripture
·         A prayer request or a praise to the Lord for something He’s done in your life
·         A song that has inspired you in your walk with the Lord and understanding of your calling to be a light for others

          A video about someone who is living out their faith in an inspiring, unique, and/or exceptional way

1.   How have the internet, cell phones, and social media changed the way we interact and communicate?

2.   Have you been using technology to evangelize others?  If so, how? If not, why not?

      There are a number of great books that deal with the topics of technology and evangelization, but
these are two of the ones I've read in recent years and found particularly well-written, creative and informative:

The Church and New Media by Brandon Vogt

The Evangelization Equation by Fr. James A Wehner STD (Sacrae Theologiae Doctor

It’s Official: She’s Entered a Cloistered Community

     This evening we received photographic evidence that Michele has entered Carmel.  Her mom snail mailed us a two color printouts of pictures taken of Michele in her brown postulancy dress and white veil.  (Since the the images probably wouldn't scan well, I'll have to see if I can get digital versions to share at a later date.) I can assure you she's positively brimming over with joy.  Also included in the envelope was a postcard of an aerial shot of the monastery.  I must admit I had really been hoping for a note of some sort, however short, from Michele, or even a few lines from her mom about their last days together, but that wasn’t meant to be.  When feeling a twinge of sadness that I didn't receive some thing from her before she left, I was quickly reminded by the Holy Spirit of the many beautiful blessings she brought into my life for the brief time she was in it, and I soon felt sufficiently ridiculous for wanting something tangible (other than the cute bumblebee pillow she gave me months ago) to remember her by. 

     Here is an excerpt of the hand-written (slowly, as my writing can be something quite atrocious) letter I mailed Michele the week before she entered The Sisters by the Sea:

     I already miss you a lot and am grieving that I won’t have you nearby to talk with about anything, to laugh and cry with, to text and be silly with, to pray and discern with (in person).

     I know we’ll be connected through prayer and that the Holy Spirit will let us know when the other person could use some extra prayer cover without cellphones, e-mail, or Facebook being involved. 

     This isn’t a “goodbye, have a nice life” letter, as I don’t intend for this to be our final goodbye, and God-willing, I hope to remain a part of your life always. 

     I am excited for you as you begin a new journey and a new life in a place that already feels like home.  I’m sure it will take some adjusting to have your own proper bed to sleep in, new pajamas to wear, and sturdy, good-for-your-feet shoes to walk around in, but I’m sure you’ll get used to these simple comforts. 

     I know you will bring The Sisters by the Sea a great deal of joy, laughter, and smiles.  I hope and pray they will soon see and embrace your sensitive spirit and determined heart, and recognize how precious you are to the Lord, and what a tremendous addition you’ll make to the community (provided, of course, they don’t have a cheese pump or another appliance easy to disassemble and clean, but impossible to put back together. 

     I laugh when I think of you telling me that you feel like you should warn the nuns what they’re getting themselves into by welcoming you into their fold.  You just can’t put your spirit, vitality, joy, and personality into words.  You must be present in all of your Michele-ness to be experienced and appreciated fully…

     …As it says in a beautiful song by music missionary Danielle Rose from the album Pursue Me she wrote when she felt called to enter a cloistered convent, I will always “see you in the Eucharist.”

     Along with the letter, I included a cute little wood and felt bumblebee and a couple pages listing some of my favorite memories with Michele.  She texted me right up to and on the day she officially entered.  Kevin and I went to Mass at St. Benedict’s that evening, so that’s where we would be praying when she went into the cloister at 3pm (Pacific time).  St. Benedict’s is where we first met Michele, one of the faithful members of the daily Mass attendants there. 

    I think of her often which means I pray for her several times a day.  When Kevin and I have gone to places we’ve been with Michele, we talk about whatever funny thing happened or amusing story she told when we were last there with her.  

     I had to laugh the other day when a girl at camp came in wearing a Wonder Woman T-shirt, because it reminded me of the text I got from Michele in the weeks before she entered asking me if I thought it would be okay if she got Wonder Woman underwear as part of the dowry she took with her to the monastery.  I chuckled and replied that I didn’t think it would be a problem, provided it didn’t cause a scandal on laundry day. 

     I miss her texting or calling me to ask if she can stop over for a visit.  I miss her coming to the door, greeting me with a smile and a big hug, then asking me for juice.  She usually preferred my version of a “mixed drink” which consists of a Mango and Berry blend Juicy Juice mix.  (Kevin and I don’t drink alcohol, so mixing juices or a root beer float are about as hardcore as it gets around here.)  Often, Michele would request some cheese and crackers or some sort of light snack to go along with the fruit juice.  (Along the lines of, if you give a mouse a cookie…)  She’s also the one person who has come over for a visit and been perfectly comfortable curling up on our loveseat and taking a nap soon after she arrived.  I like the fact that Michele felt so welcome and comfortable at our place. 

     I sincerely hope that she is having a smooth transition into her new life as she’s been preparing for it in many ways over the past couple years in her prayer life, personal affairs, and giving away and/or selling her few worldly possessions.

     Lord, thank You for the gift of friends who bring us closer to You just by being themselves.  Amen.

Too Pooped to Tweet, Pio, or Chirp?

     A number of life events and circumstances have contributed to Kevin and me both feeling too exhausted by the end of the week, or the middle, or sometimes even the beginning, to be as involved in the regular gatherings and goings on of two ministries through which we’ve made some of our closest, dearest friends: Cursillo and Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP).

     I’ve felt guilty about it, frustrated, and upset, but it hasn’t helped (no surprise there).  Recently, as well as in previous months, some things have happened that reminded me that Kevin and I often end up being there for people who we’ve become friends with through Cursillo and/or CRHP even when we are doing so outside of the pre-arranged activities and gatherings. 

Back to Basics

     I have needed to be reminded that ministry can be defined in many ways.  Being a good friend, there to listen when someone needs to process aloud, offering support when things get rough in whatever ways we have available to us, and sometimes just being present can be a very important and often overlooked way of serving others. 

     As Kevin and I discern what God wants of us and where He seems to be leading us, over and over again, He’s made it clear that there are many day-to-day things that seem small, though they’re actually quite important in expressing God’s love to those around us. 

     We haven’t been to an Ultreya recently, but we were there for a friend who was really struggling spiritually and unsure of what to do next.  We weren’t at the last organized gathering, but we prayed for all of the participants at Mass and at home while they were on their weekends. 

     I haven’t signed up to host a month’s gathering with the CRHP ladies with whom I made my weekend and served on team, but when one of them who’s now in graduate school in Illinois texted one afternoon this week and said she’d like to meet that evening if possible, I dropped everything and was there, grateful to spend time together. 

     In Cursillo, the newly initiated participants are called Babe Chicks for the first year.  When Kevin and I were still considered “Babe Chicks” in the Cursillo community, we faced some extremely difficult times.  That’s when I first coined the expression that we were: “too pooped to Pio!”  Babe Chicks in Spanish say pio! pio! pio! and that was more than Kevin and I were up to during a particular period. 

     That’s when we found out the deeper meaning of Christian community and discovered the importance of “lovelines” (rather than strictly bloodlines) family. 

Sisters in Christ

     I have to admit, sometimes it’s still really tough not to be as close with my biological family as other people are with theirs.  At my sister’s baby shower when she spoke about two of her friends from church who had really supported her and encouraged her throughout her pregnancy, I felt bad I wasn’t one of the people included in that circle.  Fortunately, I also thanked God for giving my sister such loving, caring friends to walk with her on her journey.  After all, my one sister and I have never been close. 

     She passed her due date (as of February 26), and she hasn’t had the baby, yet.  Even after 9+ months, I’ve still never seen a single ultrasound picture, don’t know what names my sister and her husband are considering for the baby (whose gender they will find out upon his/her birth), and, though they only live about 10 minutes away, I haven’t even seen the nursery, yet.  Other than bringing them some meals, checking in on my sister via text message, sending her an occasional e-mail, praying for all three of them daily, and joining her and my mom for lunch sometimes, I feel like I’ve been quite a failure as a big sister through this major change and blessing in her life, just like I have been a monumental disappointment through so many other key moments for a variety of reasons.  Through the grace of God, my mom's been a constant support, and my sister has had many sisters in Christ who have walked alongside her.      

Forever Friends, Lovelines Family

     I’ve had more open and honest conversations with my best friend from high school in recent weeks than I have with either of my sisters.  There are instances when that makes me feel really down, and other times I know I’m blessed to have close, loving friendships even if they’re not with people in my (traditional) family. 

     I really don’t know who Kevin and I would be or where we would be if it weren’t for the friends who have become family to us and who, in turn, treat us as family members.  Thankfully, we haven’t had to think about that in quite some time.  And hopefully, if we’ve been doing something right, there are people in our lives who know they are family to us.

     I’m not saying that family relationships aren’t important.  (They are.)  Or that I couldn’t do a lot better at staying in touch, reconnecting, and/or maintaining the ones I have.  (I could do way, way better.) 

     What I’m saying is that I’m grateful and feel very blessed that my husband, sisters, mom, friends, and I all have people who aren’t related to us who love us, pray for us, care about us, and encourage us.  Where there is love, there is God.  God is love.  God is in us and with us, and if we let Him, working through us, and that’s what most important. 

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 87) Grandma Edition

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May She Rest in Peace: My maternal grandmother (and last living grandparent) Marilyn Lohwater passed into eternal life January 31, 2013 early in the morning.  Fortunately, Kevin and I had gone to visit her the night before.  I’d held her hand, prayed for her, told her I loved her, and kissed her goodnight, thinking she’d at least make it to the weekend.  Instead, she passed away peacefully that very night with my mom at her side and the Little Sisters of the Poor nearby lifting her up in prayer. 

-2-

Miracles and Cause for Celebration My grandmother led a remarkable life for many reasons, not the least of which, she had very strong will to live, a deep faith in God, a devout Catholic prayer life, a special devotion to the Blessed Mother, and she lived through a number of serious illnesses and complications during her 89 years on this planet.  Here are just some of the miracles and causes for celebration. 

           

-3-

Choose Life: My grandmother was a strong pro-life advocate in all senses of the word.  For years, she took care of sick and elderly family members and joyfully welcomed each new baby and grandbaby. 

     She also was very proactive about her own health.  She ate nutritious foods, took vitamins, exercised (even when it meant taking an hour long walk around her neighborhood using two canes), kept up an active social life, engaged in some fun hobbies, developed an attitude of gratitude, prayed fervently, enjoyed a good laugh, and never gave up. 

     When doctors told her that she wouldn’t live less than a year, she was determined to do whatever she could to get better and keep on going.  When her oncologist basically told us it was pointless to keep treating her, we fired him and promptly got a physician who would respect the fact that she was still coherent and was not going to give up hope that she would recover. 

     She would join us at the 40 Days for Life vigils when she was still able to leave the nursing home without too much trouble, but once that became too difficult she’d pray in the Chapel or in her room for the international campaign. 

    

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Very Thrifty Since my grandmother lived through the Great Depression and World Wars I and II, she had a special knack for being frugal, reusing, and recycling things.  I can remember her re-wetting a paper towel and laying it out to dry.  She would reuse aluminum foil.  She laughed at expiration dates: those on food and those doctors gave her.  She saved little scraps of paper to use for lists, bridge scorecards, or phone numbers.  She would pick up things off of her carpet and put them in the trash for the exercise value and to keep from having to vacuum as often once she was getting up there in age.    

-5-

Her True Colors Grandma loved the color turquoise.  She was also a fan of deep brown and dark orange.  For a number of years, the one house we returned to no matter where we moved because of my dad’s job was my grandma and grandpa’s split-level in upstate New York.  We were always excited to pull into the driveway of the dark brown house with orange trim. 

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Well-Read My grandmother was one of the first women in our family to go to college at a time when that wasn’t something most women did.  She was an active member of the Rochester chapter of the American Association of University Women (AAUW).  She absolutely loved to read books, magazines, newspapers, letters…which I’m sure greatly influenced my mom as well as me.  Another thing my grandmother and I had in common was our rather atrocious handwriting.  I’m not sure exactly what chicken scratch looks like, but one of us probably comes close. 

-7-

Hope in the Lord Of all of the gifts my grandmother has given us over the years, her faith and hope in the Lord is the one I value the most.  She clung to God throughout her life, and though she had a number of life-altering challenges to face, losses to mourn, and illnesses to overcome, she stayed strong in Him. 

     Lord, thank You for the gift of my grandmother.  Help those of us whose lives were touched by hers honor her legacy by drawing ever-closer to You.  Amen.

  Check out Producer and Reality TV star Jennifer Fulwiler's blog Conversion Diary for this weeks dose of her tradition of 7 Quick Takes Friday.

Serving Up On the Altar

     Those gathered for daily Mass this past Saturday morning, January 12, 2013, witnessed a beautiful sign of love and dedication to the Church in the chapel at Little Sisters of the Poor.  The priest who usually celebrates Mass there wasn’t well enough to do it, so the 93 year-old priest who typically concelebrates with him and gives out Communion while sitting in a chair on the altar was asked if he would be up to doing it with help.  Fr. Paul agreed, and our best friend and dearest brother in Christ John, was summoned to come up to assist him. 

     It was deeply moving to see a very elderly, devout priest sitting next to a young only just finished his first semester seminarian.  John helped him find the right prayers, consecration, and blessings for the Mass.  The lady sitting in front of Kevin and me said it was one of the most beautiful Masses she’d ever been to.  Kevin and I definitely agreed.

     At the conclusion, we clapped for Fr. Paul and thanked him for being willing to celebrate Mass for us when it took a good deal of effort for him to do so, even sitting down the whole time.  As he slowly made his way back down the aisle with his walker (which of course has the standard two yellow tennis balls), he said that we should be thanking John.

     Many people did come up to John after Mass to talk with him.  The woman sitting in front of us asked Kevin if John’s our brother, because she could tell we were proud of him.  My husband ultimately said yes, with a little bit of explanation.

     When he was home for Christmas break, John served at quite a few Masses, so we’d gotten used to seeing him up on the altar.  It hit home that’s where his ministry is going, and ours will continue to be, at least in part, to love and support him on the journey—a blessing we are grateful to have.

     It has always moved me deeply to see Fr. Paul up on the altar concelebrating Mass at the age of 93, bless his heart.  There was hardly a dry eye in the place seeing him sitting up there with John seated at his side, helping him each step of the way. 

     Lord, thank You for the many ways that You speak to us through different circumstances as well as the sacraments of daily living.  Amen.  

The Need for Ongoing Conversion & Sanctification

Sanctification by Association

     I’ve known for a while now that I need to be better about designating time for personal prayer.  I mentioned to John that we miss having him living nearby, because his prayer practices so often inspire Kevin and me to go to daily Mass more frequently and have a more Christ-centered focus in general.  We’ve been to Mass with him three out of the four days he’s been home from seminary for Thanksgiving.

Nanny Nudges

     Another very powerful nudge has come from being Godparents and nanny to the girls.  The other day, I came down from putting one of the twins to bed, and saw Vivi crossing herself and finishing up with “and the Holy Spirit” before continuing to eat her fruit snacks.  That warmed me, made me smile, and reminded me that children are such sponges.  On a yet another day when things were so hectic at lunchtime with three small children that I didn't remember to say grace with them, Vivi stopped mid-afternoon snack to bless herself without being prompted.  That afternoon when all three of them were napping, I prayed the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, inspired to be a person lifted up in love and grounded in prayer, especially when responsible for nurturing little bodies, minds, and souls. 

Inspiration & Accountability

     I know I can’t and shouldn’t rely on others to inspire or motivate me to maintain a solid prayer life.  I can be open to having spiritual mentors and friends help keep me on track if I am willing to open myself up to their suggestions and correction.  It does help immensely to have loved ones who genuinely want God to be first in their lives, because that desire and approach to life does where off and affect others.  Ultimately, if I look to someone other than Christ, then I will not always be fed, nor will I be filled with the gifts of the Holy Spirit so that I can serve others with love and compassion.

Taking It to the Top

     When I ask and am open to the answers, the Lord can be pretty specific with me about what I need to do.  I must admit that I wish I considered this more of a blessing and a lifeline than a scary reality check.  Sometimes the message is short and insistent: TRUST. Other times it’s a list of different aspects of my life that I need to put in God’s hands and leave them there (all of them), then a reminder to check back in regularly to listen for further instructions.     

Making Prayer a Priority

     It was sometime between 3^rd and 5^th grades that I began praying an Our Father, a Hail Mary, and a Glory Be every night before falling asleep.  I would get up early, usually before my mom and sisters woke up, to pray in high school.  I would often pray the Rosary to reflect on the highlights of Christ’s life.  I also read some spiritual books and found some other prayers that really spoke to me at that time in my life.  I would pray quite a bit throughout the day as I walked from one class to another.  I had lots going on in my family at that time, so it was usually pretty heavy on my heart to pray and ask for God’s help and strength.

Prayerful Vocation Discernment

     I struggled and prayed quite a bit about what God intended for my relationship with Kevin long-term as our big age difference, my family’s concerns, and a myriad of other issues kept me clinging to the Lord as I discerned whether marriage or the consecrated religious life would be my main vocation.   When I was dating Kevin and praying, pleading, begging for his conversion or rather reversion to the Catholic faith in which he was raised, I prayed frequently and fervently.  I knew that was the best way to be open to how God might work in and through me to show Kevin His love. 

Suffering Leads to Seeking God’s Will

     Watching those I love suffering brings me to my knees.  When I see others in pain—be it physically, emotionally, or spiritually—I’m much more willing to let God use me however He wants to alleviate their heavy burden.  I no longer place limits on what I will do or go through so that the person I love will be comforted, receive healing, and be drawn closer to the Lord.  Though I often do it with fear and trepidation, I rededicate my life: mind, body, and spirit to the Lord.  I ask Him to “plant His will in my heart and make it my deepest desire and most fervent longing” something the Holy Spirit inspired me to write in one of my prayer journals years ago. 

Here are some other posts, articles, and resources you might find helpful for ongoing conversion and sanctification:

True Conversion One Heart at a Time

Cardinal Dolan’s November 2012 address to the USCCB general assembly

The Evangelization Equation

Holiness is for Everyone

On Prayer

Thanksgiving Traditions, Memories, & Amusement

     We have so much to thank God for, and this beautiful song by The Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir describes perfectly some of the most precious blessings the Lord has given us.

 

     Kevin and I hope you and your loved ones have a wonderful day filled with abundant blessings and a myriad of reminders that God is loving, compassionate, and provides for His children.  We’re bringing the green bean casserole to the two Thanksgiving feasts we’re going to today. 

     To read up on some of the Thanksgiving traditions, memories, and amusement we’ve experienced in the past, click here. 

     Lord, thank you for your many blessings.  Please open our hearts and minds so that we become increasing aware of the many ways You love in and through people bring us closer to You.  Amen. 

Not Practically Perfect in Any Way

As with any vocation: the single life, marriage, religious life, diaconate, priesthood, parenting, taking care of children, the sick, the elderly, the poor…it can seem monumental when we grasp even part of the responsibility and accountability attached. 

     
When most aware of my sinfulness, many faults and flaws, and the mistakes I’ve made (and often continue to make), I shudder to think that others are looking to me and learning from what I do and say.  

Children are little sponges, soaking up all the words, actions, gestures, and feelings around them.  It’s a huge responsibility to take care of them and really nurture them. 
     
It’s also a monumental task to guide others in the faith, or more accurately, to walk with them on the journey, take care of them, and really nurture them.  It can be a daunting undertaking knowing all along that we have much to learn from them, perhaps more than they’ll learn from us. 
     
I’ve gotten into the most trouble when I have distanced myself from others, feeling like my experiences, outlook on life, or the fact that I haven’t succumbed to some of the temptations that they’ve submitted to makes me somehow more advanced spiritually, closer to God, and/or in a better place to judge or admonish others. 
     
It’s far too easy to write others off as not as advanced or experienced in this or that.  What’s much more challenging (and more Christian) is to discover their strengths and learn from them.  Encouraging them to grow in areas of weakness can often be done best by sharing our own pitfalls and failings as proof that we’re all works-in-progress. 
    
Just like couples aren’t going to have all of their issues worked out before they get married, and parents aren’t going to be perfect role models when their kids are born, there are many things we’re called to do that God prepares us for ahead of time and then gives us the grace to accept the on-the-job training necessary to live out the vocations to which He’s called us. 
     
Sometimes, we have to look back at where we were in order to appreciate more fully where we are now.  In many circumstances, it will be our previous experiences with sorrows, hurts, losses, and dissatisfaction that will allow us to be truly present and compassionate to others who are going through (or feeling) something similar. 
     
We will be the most effective if we move forward cognizant of our failures and weaknesses, especially when we see the inadequacies of others and are tempted to judge them or look down on them.  “There, but for the grace of God, go I” is a great quote to keep in mind.  We don’t know another person’s situation completely, and we don’t know what we would do if we were in his/her place. 
     
Each one of us is broken.  Every single person has things in his/her past that he/she isn’t proud of.  We all are weak, are tempted, sin, and are in need of forgiveness and the Lord’s mercy.  When we distance ourselves from others, then it’s much harder for us to feel their pain, so we aren’t as motivated to try to alleviate it. 
    
It can be quite risky to be open up and be honest with others that we’re not anywhere close to being like Mary Poppins: “practically perfect in every way.” Only by the grace of God and the salvation offered to us by Jesus Christ will we even have a chance at eternal life. 
     
Each and every one of us is called to be holy, to live by the Gospel, to love others in the sacrificial, self-giving, compassionate way that Christ does.  Throughout the Bible, we are shown how those who place their trust in the Lord instead of themselves and other men are the ones who God works through in the most amazing, miraculous ways. 
     
Some of the people in our lives could very well still have the mindset that heavy drinking, doing drugs, watching porn, shirking responsibility, neglecting prayer…isn’t going to hinder them from having a good, meaningful life which leads us to eternal life with God. 
     
It could be said that our ability to influence others is directly proportional to our humility, honesty, and vulnerability with others.  If people think we’re perfect and have even part of our life totally figured out and completely under control, then they’re much less like to discuss things with us than if they sometimes see us rundown, worn out, angry, sad, or disappointed.  Others want to be healed, and some can be by what we are able to offer them if we allow God to move freely in and through us. 
     
If ever we think that we’re the only one who has ever felt a certain way, then we’re wrong.  The more we let down our guard around others, especially with those whom God has shown us we can trust and open up with, the more likely we’ll be to see how similar our struggles really are even though the specific details and outside circumstances might be vastly different. 
     
We all are made to love and be loved.  We all long to be wanted, accepted, affirmed.  We want people who will really listen and be present with us.  We want to know that we’re not alone in what we’re thinking, feeling, struggling with, rejoicing over, questioning, discerning...  We want to make a difference in the world and make things better for others.  We need to feel that we’re part of something much bigger than ourselves and know that our existence has a much greater, longer-lasting, eternally significant purpose than we can see at present.    
     
I’ve often said that I’m too selfish and sinful to make marriage work.  It’s true; the only way I ever would have agreed to this vocation was knowing that’s what God was calling me to and had placed in my heart, so I could be sure that regardless of my insecurities and shortcomings, He would give us what we needed to make it work.  I know that only through the grace of God can I even attempt to share every aspect of my life with my husband and glorify Him through the gift, covenant, and sacrament of our marriage.  I’ll never be perfect in any way, but the closer I draw to God, the closer I will be to the Source of Love and to Kevin. 
     
Could it be said of us that on our own we are too self-centered and sinful to fill the role of being Christ to others?  Is there any one of us that needs Christ’s saving grace and limitless mercy any less than the next person? 
     
If I look at what’s happening around me and my inability to change, fix, or heal it, I get discouraged, frustrated, and angry.  If I look to the Lord, and rest in His ability to take care of everything, then I am inspired, loving, and peaceful. 
     
I realize that so often much of what I write are things I need to be reminded of, take to heart, and do a better job of living out.  We’re all in this together with God’s help.