The Blind Leading the Blind

The first person I saw for spiritual direction in Richmond was (and still is) legally blind.  I met her when I made my Cursillo weekend back in June 2006 at Mary Mother of the Church Abbey.  She was on the spiritual direction team.  Her faith and her terrific sense of humor inspired me.  Hearing the story about her giving her grandsons a lesson in charity was the clincher we have kindred spirits.  She, too, recognizes what great spiritual directors kids can be and is willing to learn from and be challenged by them.  

“If you have two of something, you should give one to the person who doesn’t have any,” she told her grandsons.   

“How many pairs of sunglasses do you have, Grandma?” one of the young boys asked her.

Since she was and still is a fashionista, she had several pairs.  That’s when she realized it would be wise to take the Spiritual Direction Institute (SDI) course developed and offered by Monsignor Chester Michael.  If you’re going to talk the talk, then you best walk the walk. 

Something that still cracks me up about my friend is that she always looks cute and is very much into fashion.  I’m pseudo-blind without my contacts in or glasses on, but most of the time I still choose comfort over cuteness when it comes to fashion.  Not this lady.  She watches shows like What Not to Wear, and she knows which of her friends to go shopping with or ask for suggestions of what to pair together in her closet.

She’s well-read, well-spoken, loves learning, laughing, and spending time with family and friends.  Without ever looking at me, she could really see me.  In one of her talks that weekend, she shared a story about knowing you’re loved and cared for even in the dark. 

When their firstborn was a baby, her husband went to work when it was light outside.  When he returned home in the evening, not a single light was on in the entire house.  He was worried something was wrong. 

It hadn’t occurred to my friend to turn any lights on.  Even though in the dark, their daughter knew she was loved and would be taken care of.  After that, my friend got in the habit of turning lights on for her daughter’s benefit.  That story and this woman really impressed me. 

During dark periods in our lives, we can become almost paralyzed by fear and worry.  We’re not sure which way to go.  We have no idea who or what is in the room.  It’s unsettling to say the very least.  Since we are God’s children, we don’t need to be afraid.  Even when it seems as though all of the lights are out and only darkness prevails, He is there with us.  Just like the Bible says: “In Him there is no darkness at all.  The day and the night are both alike.”

In the same way that my friend’s daughter rested in her mother’s arms and knew she was loved and would have her needs met even in the dark, we are invited to trust that God will lead us through difficult circumstances and periods in our lives. 

Do you trust your guide?

I remember playing the game with a partner where you each take turns being blindfolded.  The person leading had to talk the blindfolded friend through a walk outside, letting them know when to step up or down, move to the right or left, etc.  I worried I would get paired up with a jokester who would lead me into a patch of poison ivy or laugh hysterically as I fell down a set of stairs.  Fortunately, neither of those things ever happened (while I was blindfolded, anyway). 

We need to pick the people we follow and spend time with very carefully.  I felt comfortable trusting my friend as a spiritual companion, because she is a life-long learner, humble enough to know she doesn’t know everything and is still growing in the faith herself.  Her active prayer life, dedication to family and friends, and love of books made me feel that I could trust her. 

During my time meeting with her, she recommended a number of fabulous books for me to read that enhanced my spiritual journey and faith walk.  One she hesitated to recommend to me because she is friends with the author.  She feared I might suspect she was more interested in plugging her friend’s book than suggesting I read something that would really speak to where I was at that time.  She was wrong.  I knew I could trust her book recommendations would be authentic and honest.

Sabbath Presence is a beautifully written book based on the theme that was chosen for my Cursillo weekend “Be Still and Know.”  I am someone who always feels like I should be doing something.  I have often had to fight against the notion that my worth comes from what I have done or am doing rather than from God, who created me (and each one of us) in His image of love. 

This book changed my life.  It’s one of the very few books I read twice in a row, soaking up the wisdom and allowing it to sink in.  My first time through, I skimmed over the reflection questions, but I didn’t spend a lot of time with them.  My second time through, I took quiet time to journal and really meditate on each of the questions. 

I can’t think of a more perfect book for me to have read at that time. It’s very unlikely I would have come across it if not for a blind woman I saw for spiritual direction.  True sight into the soul is in the heart of those open to the Holy Spirit.  

Click here to read my book review of Sabbath Presence.  

Click here to read an interview with the author of the book.

Prayer: Lord, please help us become more open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit moving in and through us.  Guide us to a deeper awareness of and appreciation for Your Presence in others as well as ourselves.  Show us how to see beyond appearances to what truly matters and is of eternal value.  Give us the courage to face our own blind spots, accept Your forgiveness, and mercy.  Amen.

Questions for Reflection, Discussion, or Journaling: What do we block out or miss when we get caught up in appearances?  Have we ever judged incorrectly because we have made assumptions based on the way a person or situation looks?  How likely are we to ask questions and really listen to: a friend, a spouse, a child, a co-worker, God, or even our own inner voice of wisdom?  What can we do to become better listeners? 

Evangelii Gaudium The Joy of the Gospel

Genuine joy is contagious in the best possible way.  When we have good news, we look forward to sharing it with others in person, over the phone, in a letter, an e-mail, a text, a Tweet, a Facebook message, a blogpost...so they can celebrate with us. 

     
A marriage engagement, new baby, new job, a long-awaited conversion, another life saved, a loved one who is healed…are all exciting developments we want to shout from the rooftops.     

     
We have the best Good News there is: God is with us and in us.  He became man, suffered, died, and rose again that we might live life to its fullest.  Our time on Earth isn’t all there is.  Because of the Lord’s infinite love and perfect plan for our salvation, we are invited to spend all eternity with our Creator, Savior, and Father.  It doesn’t get any better than that.

     
In his Apostolic Exhortation Evangelii Gaudium (aka The Joy of the Gospel), Pope Francis expounds upon the advantages of sharing the faith with a spirit of praise and rejoicing.  In a tone and with suggestions reminiscent of St. Francis of Assisi, our pope tells us we are called to reach out to the poor, elderly, outcasts, those who are marginalized or on the fringes of society in our own towns and around the world with the love of Christ. 

     
Doing what the Lord calls us to do, carrying out His will, taking care of the people He’s placed in our lives, and growing closer to Jesus are what bring us true and lasting joy in life.  Who better than a humble man from Latin America, who recognizes we each have in us a spark of God that is beautiful and unique, to write a proposition for a renewed evangelization? 

     
The best testimony of how to evangelize joyfully can be seen in the way Pope Francis lives the Gospel each day.  Whether he is washing someone’s feet on Holy Thursday, calling someone he’s never met to share his condolences, or rallying the youth, he illustrates how serving others, compassion, and relationships are essential to missionary work. 

     
There are great need and suffering all around us.  Many of us have a number of gifts and resources we can use to help others have their most basic needs met.  Are we willing to open our eyes to what is happening in our families, our neighborhoods, our cities, our country, our world, and allow God to transform us to reach out and take action?  If we are, then we’re ready to participate in the new evangelization.          

     
We are invited to be as cheerful and enthusiastic in our discovery and expression of God’s love as we would be if we had a surprise visit from one of our favorite people on the planet.  Hugs, I’ve missed you, I love you are all part of the effervescent greeting.  You feel your heart leap simply being in a dear one’s presence.    

     
This past spring I served on a Cursillo Women’s team with a great group.  One of the women on the team lost not one, but two loved ones during our time in formation.  She made a huge impression on me when she quoted this passage from The Gospel of Joy in her talk: “An evangelizer must never look like someone who has just come back from a funeral!” If anyone could justifiably be a little grumpy or down, she qualified, but that’s not what she did. 

     
What's more, she witnessed to me this aspect of the exhortation and included it in her talk:  “Let us recover and deepen our enthusiasm… And may the world of our time, which is searching, sometimes with anguish, sometimes with hope, be enabled to receive the good news not from evangelizers who are dejected, discouraged, impatient or anxious, but from ministers of the Gospel whose lives glow with fervor, who have first received the joy of Christ.”

     
I finished reading The Joy of the Gospel for the second time in mid-November.  The first time I’d read it was when my mom let me have the copy she’d printed out to read.  It is just as uplifting the second time as it was the first. 

     
This go-round I was more aware of how difficult it is for me to grasp and exude the sort of hope Pope Francis shows is necessary to draw people closer to Christ.  For much of my life, I’ve taken a very legalistic, rule-oriented approach to things—one that by itself isn’t likely to attract or interest anyone in the Catholic faith.  My husband Kevin’s better at joy than I usually tend to be. 

     
I find it true poetic justice that while I was rereading The Joy of the Gospel my husband was listening to The United States Catholic Catechism on CD.  Kevin’s not a voracious reader like I am, and he certainly didn’t grow up with a penchant toward knowing and following the rules, like me, so this is definitely a Holy Spirit inspired activity that’s bulking up his knowledge of the faith in which he was raised.  We’ve both been led to grow in areas the Lord knew we needed help with, and hopefully, we’ll be better prepared to live out the joy of the Gospel.

I highly recommend reading and/or rereading The Joy of the Gospel.  I received a free copy of the book from Blogging for Books in exchange for an honest review.  For more information or to get your own copy of The Joy of the Gospel, click here.

Thanksgiving Weekend 2014

Kevin has recently gotten a full-time job after being out of work for over a year, so we are both thankful and relieved about that blessing.  Since he’s back in retail, he was working on Thanksgiving Day as well as at the crack of dawn for Black Friday.  He’s got a cold, so he chose to stay home and rest up until the time he had to go into work on Thanksgiving. 

     
I told him before I left for Mass Thursday morning that people would ask where he was, possibly before greeting me.  I can understand that.  Kevin’s very friendly and can be lots of fun to chat with.  

     
I sat with some of my Christ Renews His Parish sisters and the patriarch of our adopted family at Mass.  I went over to our adopted family/close friends’ house for the holiday feast solo.  

     
I was warmly welcomed and treated as family.  I spent some time with some of my favorite people, including the three silly sisters and their two cute cousins.  I have missed seeing the girls, but I’ve had to sub whenever I can at school so we can make ends meet while Kevin gets into a groove at work, so I haven't had much energy left to visit after hours.  I finally made it over there last Friday to hang with the girls, and I got a chance to catch up with their parents as well, which was wonderful!       We had some interesting faith-based conversations about saints, particularly married women who were also mothers while we ate at the dinner table in the kitchen amidst little ones who occasionally burst in running and screaming around us.  Eventually, the twins crawled up on their mom and started grabbing food from her plate.  No surprise there.  The three silly sisters and their two cute cousins were served first, but the girls weren't nearly as enthralled by the food on their own plates.  There's something about mom sitting down to eat that tends to turn up the appetites of the little ones.  

     
I forgot to bring my camera, so I don’t have a single picture of this Thanksgiving.  Other people took a few, though, I might be able to rustle one up eventually. 

     
I really missed having Kevin there a lot!  It's been over a decade since we weren't together for all of Thanksgiving.  I’ve had him at my side for so many holidays over the years both when we were dating as well as since we’ve been married that I sometimes forget how out of place I tend to feel when he’s not there.  I did bring him some turkey, a plate of sides, and a slice of chocolate pie which he thoroughly enjoyed later on.

I didn’t see any of my biological family at all on Thanksgiving which made me feel kind of sad, but hopefully I’ll be able to get together with them on Sunday.  I have been away from Kevin and my family on Thanksgiving, but it was over ten years ago when I was studying abroad in Paris.  All of us in the study abroad program went out to dinner together.  It was fun, but I really missed my family and our normal fare.        

I had lots of memories come back of Thanksgivings over the years.  I thought back to some of the ones when we were little and we’d go to Uncle Rich and Aunt Linda’s house in Houston.  There were a couple years when my aunt and four cousins came to spend the holiday with us.  Our visits usually consisted of lots of yummy food and various card games we had all learned from Grandma.  One year was particularly memorable, because we all were having so much fun wearing the slippers Grandma had knitted us and sliding on the hardwood floors in our house in Barrington.  Click here to read about some of our other Thanksgiving festivities across the years.

Harvests and Special Celebrations

   This school year's Harvest Fest was my favorite one yet, because Kevin and I got to share it with five of our favorite people.  Two of our best friends brought their daughters to the Harvest Fest we had at school last Saturday.
   Their girls (the twins are our Goddaughters) I have referred to elsewhere as "the three silly sisters" are the ones I was nannying for over the past few years.  I was so excited that they got to come and enjoy the fun.  Of course, I love being around children, in general, but these girls will always have an extra special place in my heart.
   Who wouldn't like getting the following greetings from three adorable little ones?  "I've missed you sooo much!" and another one: "I love you!" and the third just runs over and gives me a big hug.
    Kevin, their mom, and I each ended up chasing one of the girls around the playground, field, and festivities.  Their dad came by after work to join us for face-painting and popsicle eating/smearing fun.  There were slides, pumpkins, balloons, snacks, apple cider, and even an alleged Rainbow Dash spotting.

    Our outing last weekend reminded me of another event several years ago in the spring that was way more fun one year than any other: The Walk for Life.  I was taking care of one of "my two little guys" so his parents good get a much-needed overnight away, and that happened to be the Saturday of The Pregnancy Resource Center's Walk for Life which my family and I have taken part in for years.  I packed him up in his stroller, and off we went.  He had a ball.  My parents, Kevin, and I did, too.

   We've been part of the village helping to raise, love, nurture, and care for a number of children over the years.  The present I have most hoped for just about since our nephew's birth has been to have two of our best friends and their daughters come to meet my sister, brother-in-law, and our nephew.  We will hopefully have the joy of such a gathering as part of a pretty picnic and playtime at the park excursion Sunday afternoon.
     Lord, thank You for the blessing of family and friends with whom we can celebrate the gifts of life, love, laughter, joy, and hope.  To read about other fond memories involving Harvesting God's Abundance, click here.

Monsignor Chester Michael: Well done good and faithful servant

The funeral Mass was quite beautiful and not surprisingly very well attended for Monsignor Chester P. Michael this past Wednesday, August 6, 2014.  The celebration of his life took place on the Feast of the Transformation, a fitting God-incident since he was instrumental in inspiring change, transformation, and true conversion in countless people throughout our Diocese and around the world during his 72 years as a priest. 

    
Most Reverend Bishop Francis Xavier DiLorenzo presided at the funeral Mass held at St. Thomas Aquinas Church in Charlottesville, Virginia.  As is customary for our leader and resident history buff, he gave a homily that compared and contrasted what life was like in the world when Monsignor Michael was first ordained a priest in 1942 and the myriad changes he witnessed from World War II until the present. 

       

The bishop posed three very poignant questions about the 97 years God gave Monsignor Chet on Earth. 

     1.Did his life mean anything at all?

     2.Was his life a waste?

     3.What was the meaning of his life and ministry?

    
Bishop DiLorenzo covered a smattering of the ministries and various levels of involvement and influence Fr. Chet had in them.  Basically, he responded to the above questions with this summation of answers: 1.Absolutely.  2. Not at all.  3.He did so much it would be hard to mention it all, estimate the number of lives he’s transformed, or how his work to spread the Good News will continue to inspire others.    

    
In closing, Bishop DiLorenzo said: “We thank God for his ministry, and we say well done good and faithful servant.” 

    
After the celebration of the Eucharist, Andy Macfarlan offered some Words of Remembrance about Fr. Chester Michael.  He shared some of the stories, themes, passions, quirks, and characteristics of the beloved priest and popular spiritual director.  Looking around the church, I saw dozens of people Kevin and I know through Cursillo.  I found it a perfect Mass for our seminarians to attend even while on their yearly retreat.  What better testimony can you give than that of a good priest who served God’s people in many different ways over the 72 years since he was ordained to serve our Diocese?  He’s been an inspiration to priests, deacons, seminarians, consecrated religious, and laity for quite some time. 

    

Kevin and I never formally met Monsignor Michael, but we’ve heard a number of stories about “Fr. Chet” as many of his close friends and spiritual directees called him.  We are aware of only some of the countless ways this man has touched our lives.  In 1963, he brought the Cursillo Movement to the Diocese of Richmond where it has flourished as a tool for the new evangelization in place long before that term was popular.  Over 8,000 individuals have made Cursillo weekends in our Diocese since then.  That’s a lot of lives to touch and enflame with the Holy Spirit! 

    
But wait, there’s more.  Fr. Chet also created Open Door Ministries and the Spiritual Direction Institute (SDI) to encourage laypeople to grow closer to the Lord, learn about themselves, and how to live the Gospel in new ways through a more intimate walk with Christ.  There have been over 600 people who have gone through the SDI program he developed since it first began.  Kevin and I just began the SDI program this summer.  I read and highly recommend the three books to the left written by Monsignor Chester Michael, and used as some of the primary resources for his two-year course.  

    
It boggles my mind to think of how many souls he’s affected just through Cursillo and SDI.  He’s been involved in so many really powerful ministries over the years, ones I don’t know as much about but which are described in detail on his website.  Kevin and I have been fascinated to read about his life, humble beginnings, ongoing education, and the numerous ministries which he started and/or brought to the Diocese of Richmond over the years.  He has touched the lives of so many different groups of society, I’d venture that when it comes to ministry in Richmond, there could be a game that would probably only show two or three degrees of separation at most between Catholics currently active in our Diocese and their connection to Monsignor Chester Michael and the ministries he’s created and supported.  To read a more thorough biography of Monsignor Chet’s life at least up to 1992, click here.

   

Today is the five year anniversary of my father’s passing which has gotten me thinking about the influence one person’s life can have on so many others.  We don’t know how much time we have left to make a difference.  Fr. Chet had a lot of years to do all the work God intended for him. 

     
What is God calling us to be or do right now?  Are we taking ample time to listen to the whisper of His still small voice?  Are we grounded enough in prayer and edified through study so that we are filled with the love of Our Lord, ready to go out and proclaim the Gospel through our lives?

Candles in the Dark: The Authorized Biography of Fr. Richard Ho Lung and The Missionaries of the Poor

Candles in the Dark has been in a stack on one of our bookshelves for a while now.  Saint Benedict Press sent it to me thinking it would be something of interest to me.  They were right, but it wasn’t the right time for me to read it, yet.  I’ve considered picking it up a few times, but then ended up choosing other books to read which, as the Holy Spirit would have it, were exactly what I needed at that time. 

   
The other day when I was attending daily Mass at St. Benedict’s a young man in front of me who is a very devout and joyful Catholic was wearing a T-shirt with a quote on it from Fr. Richard Ho Lung and the Missionaries of the Poor (MOP).  Yes, God will speak to us however He likes, even through the messages on T-shirts.  The quote and priest quoted reminded me of the book once more.  Intrigued, I removed Candles in the Dark and dove in.

    
Is he a male Mother Teresa as some have said?    Both of them were called to the religious life and were teaching when they each received what’s been described as “a call within a call” to serve the poorest of the poor, those left literally and figuratively, to die in the streets.  They are each devoted to prayer, living among and serving the poor, and using their clout to speak out about the atrocities of our times. But the answer is not really.

    
I can’t think of a better time for me to be reading a book about a man who has devoted his life to serving the poor.  Fr. Richard Ho Lung is nicknamed the “Ghetto” priest for good reason.  The slums in Jamaica are where he was born, where he lives now, and that’s where he has been called to serve Christ “in distressing disguise.”  Some know him because of his illustrious singing career.  Not only has he had a number of hit songs, but he has also written and produced full-length musicals and operas.  Others are familiar with him because of his success as a distinguished literature professor, poet, and Jesuit priest.    

    
As has happened a number of times throughout my life, there is someone whose health and well-being I’m very concerned about who is of no relation to me.  Wondering and praying about what course of action would be best while reading the story of Fr. Richard Ho Lung’s life and the Missionaries of the Poor reminded me that I should not limit what I am willing to do if God asks me to.  I’ve needed this reminder often in life, so this was another way of repeating the lesson.  Consulting the proper authorities as well as other concerned parties, I’ve now taken a good first step toward getting help for an unsafe living situation.

    
One of the things I really appreciated about Candles in the Dark is that Fr. Ho Lung talks about how disgusted and repulsed he was by the condition he would find people living in, but he always knew that he was ministering to Christ in each person he helped.  I have definitely experienced and found myself in some situations I’d rather avoid, but when God brings us into them with the intent that we be an agent of change, we eventually get the courage to speak up. 

    
I’m really hoping to find and view one of Fr. Richard Ho Lung’s musicals sometime soon.  I admire him greatly as a man who has answered the call to be a man of prayer, hope, and love to the many people God has brought and will continued to bring into his life.

     
I highly recommend Candles in the Dark: The Authorized Biography of Fr. Richard Ho Lung and the Missionaries of the Poor by Joseph Pearce.  The writing is genuine, fresh, and captures the priest’s personality, faith, and passion for serving the poor.  I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.  For more info or to get your own copy of Candles in the Dark, click here.

Glory Bee to God!

A cute little Carmelite postulant named Michele Morris sent Kevin and me a care package with instructions on the outside  that we were to open it together. 

When she’d written at Eastertime, our dear friend/sister in Christ, mentioned she had a surprise for us.  We never in a million years could have guessed what it would be.   

    
Ever since the spring a few years ago when I gave Michele a Pieta prayer book, we’ve been talking about “glory bees.”  In the prayer book is a Novena to St. Thérѐse of Lisieux which includes twenty-four “Glory Be to the Father” prayers each day.  Upon seeing this, she turned to me and exclaimed: “That’s a lot of Glory Be’s!”  At which point we both started laughing imagining bees with halos buzzing around glorifying God.  Thus began our affection for “glory bees.”

    
That Easter, I presented Michele with a stuffed animal bumblebee with candy in the zippered pocket and a makeshift halo out of silver pipe cleaner.  It was one of the few personal possessions she brought with her when she entered the Carmelite Monastery of Our Lady and St. Thérѐse.  Subsequent gifts to one another after that Easter often carried a theme of bumblebees.  I have a bumblebee pillow pet, a tall mug featuring a cartoon drawing of our adopted mascot, and a pair of yellow and black striped knee socks with bees on them all from Michele.

    
When learning to make rosaries, Michele thought it would be fun to make “Glory Bee Rosaries” for Kevin and me.  She was given permission to do so.  We are now the humbled owners of the first two “Glory Bee Rosaries.”  The community liked the idea, so she made a whole batch of them to go to the mission in Uganda.  With some bee research under her wings, she came up with a brochure using for graphics the picture of the bee I gave her with the halo and some of the bee graphics I used in making a memory book for her before she left. 

    
Inside the package was one self-portrait drawn with brown marker, one “Glory Bee Rosaries” brochure, two black and yellow beaded rosaries, and a five page handwritten letter from Michele.  I was laughing as I read the letter out loud about how she went from learning to make rosaries, to being inspired to make “Glory Bee Rosaries” for Kevin and me, to the project being blessed by the community. 

     Here’s an excerpt of her letter:

    For Trisha the gift is special in other ways as well.  It is also for you:

1.      A bridesmaids gift.  In thinking about and cherishing our “Girls Day Out” it occurred to me that as the bride-to-be I never did give you a bridesmaids gift-as is custom.  So I made one for you as well as Carrie and Betty J

2.      Something tangible to hold onto as reassurance that I am with you and praying for you.

3.      Tangible evidence that God does indeed work through you—inspiring others—good inspirations. 

Since July 16 is the Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel as well as the two-year anniversary of the first performance of “Teresita” the original play Michele wrote, directed, and performed, and also the day when Michele received the letter accepting her as a postulant to the Carmelite Sisters by the Sea, I thought I’d share this story and the joy it has brought us. 

Pentecost Weekend Festivities

Pentecost Weekend was very enjoyable.  We spent it with loved ones, many faith-filled people who are passionate about serving the Lord and others.  Saturday I had some good prayer, reading, study, and writing time.  In the evening, Kevin and I had dinner with my mom at a delicious Italian place on the Southside called Angelo’s.  Their stromboli is scrumptious!

From there we headed over to Church of the Epiphany, where Kevin and I were married on September 4, 2004.  Two of our friends from Cursillo were doing a concert as part of their Give Me Jesus tour.  The band S2K they’re in plays for Kairos retreat weekends.  I knew it would be a blast, because our two friends are characters on their own, but are even more hilarious together.  The concert was awesome, and the banter among the guys entertaining, as always! We got to sing along to the praise and worship music they performed, and heard their take a on a few classics that fit in with the theme of Kairos. 

   
In between sets, one of the men in the band would talk about how, when, and why they became involved in prison ministry.  Each of them has gone to one or more Virginia prisons to put on Kairos retreats for the inmates.  It was really awesome to hear the stories of how these men from a variety of faith denominations and backgrounds came together to serve men, women, and juveniles who are incarcerated. 

     
One of the most moving testimonies was from a gentleman who had been an inmate on the very first Kairos retreat that ever took place in our area back in 2002.  When released from prison, he began studying to become a minister.  Now he’s one of the chaplains who serves Kairos.  Talk about transformation and metanoia! There you have it!

   
Sunday morning Kevin and I went to 11:15 Mass at our church because our friend was doing the second reading in Hindi as part of the celebration for Pentecost.  It was neat to hear the reading in an unfamiliar language, and the music was beautiful.  Afterwards, we headed up the hill for the church picnic that the Knights of Columbus had organized and were preparing for.  I ended up sitting with a few friends from Christ Renews His Parish (CRHP), a couple of whom are now also Cursillistas, and we had a good time.  Good friends, good food, and good fun!

     
Then I got to catch up with a dear friend I met through CRHP who has been at pharmacy school in Chicago for the past couple years.  We were assigned to be roommates for the overnight portion of the CRHP retreat, and we stayed up half the night talking and have been good friends ever since.  We weren’t sitting at the same table when we made our retreat, so we wouldn’t have gotten to know each other as well had we not been assigned to the same room.  Another God incident indeed! 

   
Lord, thank you for surrounding us with so many people of faith to inspire us and pray for and with us.  We are grateful to have friends who are family steeped in the love of Christ and the dedication to serve His people.  Amen.

A Subtle Grace by Ellen Gable

A Subtle Grace is the latest masterpiece by bestselling author/editor Ellen Gable.  It is the sequel to the award-winning novel In Name Only.  I’ve really been looking forward to this sequel because I was so thoroughly impressed by the first book, which vividly depicts the lives of the O’Donovan family in the late eighteen hundreds.  I love when I get so drawn into a book that I can picture myself in the scenes and have a real sense of the thoughts and emotions surging through the characters.  She blends dialogue and descriptive prose to create full-bodied personalities.  It is easy to identify and relate to each person’s unique charms, quirks, and flaws. 

  
There are scenes in certain books, plays, and movies that stick with us because of how disturbing or upsetting they are.  Maybe it’s an image from one of the ghost stories popular at sleepovers or an urban legend that hits a little too close to home.  We can all think back to a particular scenario we’ve envisioned and relive the emotions as if it was happening to us in the present.  Adrenalin starts pumping.  Our heart beats faster.  Our palms sweat.  Our muscles tense.  Every sound is amplified and ominous.  We are sure of our safety, nevermore. 

  
In each of these novels, there are a number of scenes I found myself reacting to on a visceral level because of how powerfully crafted and carefully portrayed they are.  The suspense made me not want to put the books down even when the turn of events caused me to cringe.  Gable manages to treat a number of the scenarios I would definitely include in my top five biggest fears of all time in ways that compel me to continue onward through the horror and devastation to discover what’s waiting on the other side.  I can’t exactly say that I enjoy feeling awful, but to me it’s a mark of good storytelling if you can get me to empathize with the characters so deeply that a real sense of sorrow rises within me when they are suffering and a genuine joy comes over me when they have triumphed over it.

  
This is one of my favorite contemporary works of Catholic fiction.  (For purposes of classification, I'm defining contemporary as works written between the 1980 and today) .  The storytelling is masterful, the characters fascinating, and the writing is of high literary quality.  People are imperfect—past, present, and future—but each is given the opportunity to grow, change, learn, and be redeemed.  In this story it’s shown how the greatest mistake of our lives can be turned into one of the most amazing blessings and even be a source of hope for others.  Life’s messy.  People are complex.  We’ve all got some skeletons in our closets, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t also fit some trophies and triumphs in there as well. 

A Subtle Grace has all of the elements that good Catholic fiction should.  For more information about In Name Only or A Subtle Grace, click here.  I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.            

You Are Not Alone & A Partial Potter Update

Dear Family and friends,

     We want to be there for you always.  We want you to feel comfortable calling us for whatever you need   whenever you need it, especially during the most difficult times! For those of you who we have been there for at least some of the time, please know that you are not partially responsible or at all responsible for the times when Kevin and I are feeling worn out and/or rundown.  Even if we have not been as good about calling, visiting, or checking in with you lately as we could be, please rest assured that you our on our minds, in our thoughts, and certainly in our prayers.

     Our struggle has a lot more to do with being upset for the times we don't feel we have much to offer anyone, even each other and those closest to us.  We struggle with feeling like we’re not enough, not who anyone wants or needs us to be, not living up to what anyone would like or expects of us.  It’s painful when some of the ways we’d like to be able to reach out and help others, we no longer are in a position, physically, emotionally, spiritually, or financially that we can offer the assistance we’d like to offer and in many cases have given in the past. 

Still Searching

     Kevin’s been looking for work ever since he lost his job on Labor Day, and though he’s had some good leads and applied to a number of places, nothing’s come together, yet.  He’s networked with some great people and been given some prospects to check out.  He’s kept an open mind, kept praying, and kept pounding the pavement.  Last week, he received the letter saying that he’d been sent his last unemployment check.  He was hit with a wave of frustration, anger, and anxiety that he hasn’t found a new job, yet.    

     Regardless of what other things are going on, I’ve needed to take pretty much every subbing job I’ve been offered due to our financial situation.  Don't get me wrong; I love working at school with different age groups of children and a number of great teachers teachers.  I’ve learned a great deal and have come to appreciate the Montessori method as an ideal way of educating children.  However, as anyone who has served as a substitute knows, it can be more exhausting than usual when you don’t yet know the routine or all of the kids and specifics of the role played by the person for whom you’re filling that day.  There’s so much to try and remember and learning on-the-go can be a challenge in an environment where there are already a significant number of important Department of Social Services rules, regulations, and procedures to keep in mind. 

Running on Empty

     Over the past couple months, I’ve most often felt like I’ve been running on empty.  We’ve had so much going on that it’s been hard to catch my breath.  I’m behind on a number of things as is really obvious if you look around our apartment or consult any one of my “To Do Lists.”  I can’t seem to relax much, because I always feel like there’s something else I should be doing.  Yes, I know that I just finished reading Crash the Chatterbox twice in a row, but it’s so flipping difficult to put it into practice day in and day out. 

     Anywhere I look, I see and think about something I should be doing for our marriage, our family, friends, to improve our financial situation, to straighten up our place, to minister to others, and it just makes me more discouraged when I get so caught up in all that I could be doing and some of what I should be doing that I haven’t yet. 

Enjoy the Ride

     A Cursillo friend of ours who is single and lives alone was recovering from knee surgery and then had shoulder surgery at the beginning of April and needed help with rides to and from her physical therapy appointments, and such.  I think of her regularly and get upset with myself for not having checked up on her recently or at the very least sent her a card.  Kevin and I were blessed to be in position that we could help. 

     I showed up to give our friend a ride and couldn’t pull it together soon enough before I got to her place that she could tell I’d been crying.  There are few things that make me feel as ridiculous and pitiful as feeling the least bit sad or depressed when I’m well aware that others are suffering way worse than I am.       

     Did my friend get in the car and ask me what could I possibly have to cry about since I didn’t recently have to have a series of IV infusions just so I could finally have the knee surgery, followed by shoulder surgery after a car accident a year before that wasn’t even my fault?  No.  Did she tell me that I should be wildly rejoicing because I’m able to move around without difficulty, have a husband who loves me, don’t live alone, have family nearby, and friends who care about me?  No.  She got in the car and was genuinely concerned about what had happened that made me feel so upset that I am not enough in any area of my life and that I can’t seem to do anything right.  (Unfortunately, these are beliefs about myself I have struggled with most of my life that sometimes drag me down further than other times.  I’m better at fighting them sometimes than others).

     I am amazed by this woman’s fighting spirit and can do attitude.  She is persistent and insistent that she get through these surgeries and get back to an active lifestyle.  She’s assured those of us who used to gather weekly for prayer group that come summer, she’ll be running circles around all of us again.       

An Influx of Family Visits

     The week leading up to the Women’s Cursillo Weekend was even busier than I’d expected it to be and more tiring.  Holy Week is usually a full time for us anyway, but we had even more packed in this time.  On Good Friday, Kevin’s sister and brother-in-law stopped in while driving down to meet their newest granddaughter, so we spent some time with them before heading to church for the Veneration of the Cross.  Saturday, we met them in the morning, then we headed over to my sister’s house to see my uncle, aunt, two cousins, and their two friends, who were in town for lunch and an afternoon visit at my sister’s house before they drove back home to upstate New York.  That evening, Kevin and I attended the Easter Vigil at St. Michael’s, which was quite beautiful, as always. 

A Window of Opportunity

     I spent a good chunk of time that week putting together blog posts, journal entries, and writing a very long letter to Michele Morris, so I could send her a package of things during the two weeks after Easter when she can receive, read, and respond to mail to let her know what’s going on in our area with Cursillo, mutual family and friends, etc.  In the letter I sent her at Christmastime, I’d let her know that I would be serving on team for Cursillo on the weekend of Divine Mercy Sunday, so I knew she would be praying for everyone participating on the weekend, especially during that time. 

A Loved One Lost

     The Wednesday before Cursillo began, Kevin and I had a funeral to attend that morning at Epiphany on the Southside.  Kay Marie Geiger, who had been really sick with cancer for a number of months, went to be with the Lord, so we gathered with her family, many friends, and Cursillistas to celebrate her life and legacy.  (Life has been so crazy, busy, and hectic since then that I have yet to finish writing my tribute to this wonderful woman who has been such a loving, compassionate presence in our lives). 

Now is the Time: ACTION

     The evening of April 23, 2014, we spent several hours at Shalom House unloading cars, moving lots of furniture and beginning to get things set-up for the Women’s Cursillo Weekend that took place April 24-27. 
Thursday, another team member and I arrived back at Shalom House in the early afternoon to continue preparations.  There was so much running around and taking care of things that I managed to go the entire weekend without having a really in-depth, intimate conversation with anyone at all.  I have a hard time keeping up with all the running if I don’t connect with anyone on a deeper level than discussing the weather, meals, logistics, and other surface stuff. 

     Everyone on our team was wonderful, pitching in wherever needed, regardless of their assigned roles, but we were down an “angel,” those responsible for making sure everything and everyone is where they need to be and where it needs to be at or by the time specified.  One of our angels had to have a double mastectomy a few weeks before the Cursillo, and she blessed us by coming for a few hours when she was up to it and to give her talk, but her work and offerings during the weekend itself, understandably, needed to be predominantly prayers since she was still recovering from surgery.  I should have visited her or sent her a few cards by now, but again, I haven’t.  She’s certainly been in my thoughts and prayers, though. 

Sharing Straight from the Heart

     Two of the talks given on Divine Mercy Sunday as part of the Cursillo weekend I knew would hit me really hard.  One talk was given by a woman who bravely shared the story of how she and her family have felt God’s presence and love in the months since last September when their youngest son committed suicide.  The second talk was given by the woman who has also found strength and hope in the Cursillo community when she was diagnosed for a second time with breast cancer and this time had a double mastectomy and will also need chemo and radiation.  I made it through each of these talks by sitting in the way back of the room, letting the tears stream down my face, then leaving the minute they were finished to go back and have some quiet time to myself in our room.  By Sunday evening, I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted and ready to collapse.

While You Were Gone

     Within the next couple days, we learned of troubling news about some of our close friends.  One friend, whom I had invited to come on the weekend and who discerned that this wasn’t the right time for her to go, informed us that the previous Thursday she’d found out that her ex-husband had been found dead in his apartment.  He had not been in good health, nor had he taken very good care of himself, but it was still unexpected and, of course, hard on the family.  Kevin and I devoted an evening to help clean out the ex-husband’s apartment, which we needed a mask and gloves just to enter.  There were a number of things that reminded me of my dad and his declining health and struggles at the end of his life, so that wasn’t easy to manage.  We attended the funeral Mass held at church which was quite beautiful, but again reminded me of losing my dad at a young age.   

Not much rest for the weary

     The Monday after the weekend, I slept and rested most of the day, then met several team members and their spouses back up at Shalom House to clean up, move furniture back, organize and put supplies away, and such. 

     We also found out that a good friend of ours had been hospitalized for the second time in one week.  That Tuesday, Kevin and I were on our way to Mass at St. Benedict’s.  Actually we were in the parking lot, when I happened to check my phone before going into 5:30 Mass.  I’d already turned the ringer off, but something nudged me to look at my phone again before heading in.  Our friend whose husband had been hospitalized called asking if we would be so kind as to pick up dinner and bring it over to her at the hospital.  We left to go be there for our friends while they were facing a difficult time. 

We’ve got your back

     As we've said to the dear friends of ours who are fighting some tough stuff, including one of them having recently been diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer, it's nice to be able to do some practical things to let you both know we love you.  Sometimes, it's hard to know how to help or what to do, so having specific things to take care of makes it easier.  I need or ride or a meal or for you to get this from the store for me are tangible things we can do to offer assistance.  We are saddened by the burdens that some of our family and friends are carrying, but we are also very hopeful for each one of you in the midst of these crises. 

Prayers and Presence

     Two of our friends each lost a parent in the past couple months.  We weren’t able to attend either of those funerals.  Another couple we know through Cursillo lost their 20 year old son who committed suicide a couple weeks ago.  When we arrived at the Ultreya that Friday evening that was at their parish, they were outside to receive an outpouring of love, hugs, and condolences.   I’ve prayed for all of these people, their loved ones lost, and the families in mourning.  I’ve given each of our friends hugs when I’ve seen them in person and expressed my sorrow over their losses, but I have yet to send any of them sympathy cards or letters.

More than meets the eye   

     There are many crosses Kevin and I are carrying which only a handful of people know about at all.  Only a select few people know the weight and depth of these burdens and what we’ve gone through to keep moving forward despite them.   It's been a struggle for us to trust in God in these areas when it seems like there's no change or improvement, not just recently, but over a period of many months, even years.

     Seeing the hope and courage of others in the face of major challenges and drawbacks inspires both of us.  We are grateful that family and friends share their joys and sorrows with us.  That's how it's supposed to be.

A Letter to Graduates

Dear Graduate,

    
Congratulations!  You did it!  Who knew that you’d one day make it so far, overcome so many obstacles, embrace so many new opportunities, and develop such wonderful friendships?  God did.  He’s known all along the passions in your heart and how you would and will continue to inspire others.   

   
My wish, hope, and prayers for you are that throughout your life you will grow in your awareness of God’s unconditional love, endless mercy, and unbounded joy so that you can continue being a source of living hope to all who come into contact with you.

   
There are some important lessons to remember as you move to the next step in your journey.  People and relationships are far more important than money, worldly success, awards, or prestige.  You are God’s Beloved Child.  I can almost hear some of you asking: "Who me?!"  To which I'd respond with a resounding, "Yes, you!"  

 
God has, does, and will always love you more than anyone else has, does, or can—even your parents, grandparents, family members, closest friends, or your spouse.  Almighty God is the only who one can and will always be with you, and, despite occasional thoughts and feelings to the contrary, He will never abandon or forsake you. 

   
I found it to be so easy to get caught up in my own hopes and dreams or to make my decisions and assess my worth based on the evaluations I receive from others.  Above all, though, we are to seek the Will of the Lord in all areas of our lives and accept the abundance of blessings He provides for us to live that out.  It is the only plan which is best for everyone involved in time and eternity.  We are encouraged and created to move, grow, and have our being in the Lord Jesus Christ.  Any good gifts we have come from Him. Any good we can do for others flows from Him through us.  Only in uniting yourself with the Source of All Love and life will you be a most effective vessel and conduit of love, compassion, generosity, and kindness. 

   
May you keep prayer a source of hope and healing in mind and heart as you seek and guide others in search of goodness, beauty, and Truth. 

     
It can be a little nerve-racking at times to move from one stage of life to the next, especially when it means saying goodbye to loved ones, a particular way of life, a gathering place for friends, but you’re well-equipped to go out into the world and continue making a difference doing what comes naturally to you. 

   
Be gentle with yourself during times of transition. 

   
Who you are is your gift to others and God’s gift to the world. Embrace that truth and live your life to the fullest.  God danced the day you were born and has been elated by you ever since.  Remember that you are loved and lovable because of who you are and whose you are—not because of what you do.  Your value has already been established as a child of God.  No other accolades, honors, or awards are needed to establish your worth.  It just is.

   
The greatest gifts bestowed upon us are those most precious in time and eternity: a love for family and friends, a true compassion for others, a concern for those less fortunate, an active prayer life, ongoing study and faith formation, being part of Christian community, performing actions that provide for the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual needs of others, and a yearning to do God’s will that are fueled by a desire to spend all of eternity with the angels, saints, and the loved ones who have gone before us to Heaven knowing that Christ's life, death, and resurrection have bought us eternal salvation.

   
“All things work for good for those who love God…”  The best in your life is yet to come.  Trust me—the wildest adventures, the most longed for opportunities, the most ecstatic joys, the most unusual challenges, the deepest love, the most profound mercy, and the best blessings beyond all of your hopes and dreams are yet to come for you!  

    

God bless and love from your sister in Christ, Trisha