Supernatural, let me count the ways I love you

Or, the ways I started to love you, or the ways that I realised I loved you from the beginning.

The music.  Oh the music.  I can't remember ever watching a TV show where the music was so integral to the story.  Guardians of the Galaxy did the same, with Quill's mixtapes (I wanted to call him Kevin there... why.. brain...just why...).  Dean's taste for classic rock permeates every episode, until approximately season 6/7.  It sets the tone, it establishes the brothers' background, it tells you about their tastes, it provides a constant in their chaotic lives.

I found Dean's playlist on Spotify (it's probably this one), and started listening to it and then stuck the songs onto a playlist for myself and now I have a Supernatural theme wherever I go.  As an added bonus, the child now likes Kansas' Carry On Wayward Son.  Don't know it?  It's played at the start of every season finale and it takes all my self control not to whack it up to 11 and throw my arms about.  Here are the lyrics:

Carry on my wayward son
For there'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond the illusion
I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high
Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man
I hear the voices when I'm dreamin', I can hear them say

Carry on my wayward son
For there'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man, it surely means that I don't know
On a stormy sea of moving emotion
Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune, but I hear the voices say

Carry on my wayward son
For there'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

Carry on, you will always remember
Carry on, nothing equals the splendor
Now your life's no longer empty
Surely heaven waits for you

Carry on my wayward son
For there'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

I have ALL THE FEELS.  Honestly, the song makes me emotional and it wouldn't have done if it were not now indelibly connected with the Winchester brothers.

Dean's appetites. For food and sex.  I think that Dean is a pretty uncomplicated man.  He hunts, he's loyal to his family, he'd do anything for his family, he drinks, he eats, he has sex, he watches Westerns and Scooby Doo and horror films and he's not filled with existential angst.  Mostly.

He loves his food. He takes such great pleasure in his food.  It's an ongoing thing, not a couple of throw away scenes or pieces or dialogue.  I don't recall ever seeing this on a telly show before.  Buffy's Giles had a hankering for jaffa cakes and tea, but usually the specifics of the food isn't such a big thing on telly shows.

Same for the sex.  Dean likes sex, he's often out hooking up with a woman, he'll flirt with everyone, he's usually successful when he's hitting on women, but we also see the times when he's not.  I'm used to prudish America telly, where enjoying sex is reserved for villains, and casual sex is frowned upon.  Again, my mind casts back to Buffy, which had a horrible attitude to sex.  Thinking of Smallville, it was all very vanilla and lovey, until Lois came along and it was clear she liked sex too.  That struck me as unusual when I was watching it, and then she obviously ended up with Clark, presumably having lots of hardcore sex and introducing Clark to kinks.

Dean Winchester doesn't really do long term.  There's a few longish term relationships, but mostly he's just shagging around.  Importantly, these one night stands AREN'T criticised by the show, it's not used to show that he's gone evil, or is possessed, or is on a morally downward spiral.  He just likes sex.  And porn.  He doesn't disrespect the women he shags or watches either.  He just enjoys sex.  I love that.

Sam and Dean's unspoken conversations.

They have all the facial expressions and all the reactions.  They don't need dialogue to get feelings or opinions across, it's all there on their faces, plain as day.  I don't know if the show was planned like that or if it developed from the two main's chemistry, but it works.  They are brothers, growing up they just had each other, their Dad and Bobby.  These physical conversations reinforce that and it;s a really good use of screentime.

The actors' camaraderie.  They just seem like they genuinely like each other.  I like that.

It's a show about brothers.  Family too, but mostly brothers.  I don't usually like such male oriented shows but this works.  I have a lot of thoughts about how the women in the shows are treated too, but that is a whole other blogpost.  It will include joy and rage. 

There is a frigging twitter called Jared as Cats.  How can you not love a show that inspires such delightfully mad fandom?

That's it for tonight. More tomorrow. Probably.

Get to know me questions

I'm bored and found this on tumblr so thought I'd do it here.  Cross channel memes, yeah.

1. If someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

Read - the Discworld books, particularly the witch and watch ones.  Supergirl: Many Happy Returns.  Elizabeth McCracken's An Exact Replica of a Figment of my Imagination.  Alternatively, they could read this blog and New readers...start here!.

Watch - the Buffy telly show.  Listen to - 90s britpop, metal and punk albums, with a dash of Shampoo, 5ive and Steps.

2. Have you ever found a writer who thinks just like you?  if so, who?

No, but some of Terry Pratchett's creations make total utter sense to me - Granny Weatherwax and Vimes in particular.

3. List your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

Discworld - Granny Weatherwax

DC comics - Linda Danvers Supergirl

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Tara

4. Do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

I like my online name, I think it suits me just right.

5. Do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

Wanky question.  Human being.  I identify myself by the things I am.

6. Are you religious/spiritual?

Not any more.

7. Do you care about your ethnicity?

I'm white.  No I don't care about it, I don;t need to care about it, I live in the UK and being white affords me the privilege to not have to care about it.

8.   What musical artists have you felt most connected to over your lifetime? 

Manic Street Preachers and the Wildhearts.

9. Are you artist?

I can do some origami and some crafty stuff.  I can put together costumes, following tutorials, but I don't think that makes me an artist.

10. Do you have a creed?

No

11. Describe your ideal day.

12. Dog person or cat person?

Kitties all the way.

13. inside or outdoors?

Both.  The home comforts of indoors with the freedom to go outdoors whenever I like.

14. Are you a musician?

Hell no.

15.  Five most influential books over your lifetime.

The Discworld series.  All 30 plus of them.

16. If  you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?

Nope.

17. Would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

Nope, my tumblr is just comic stuff that makes me happy.  My blog isn't all me either, it's what I choose to write about and put on here, but that's not all I am.

18. What's your patronus?

I found this definition of a patronus: The Patronus Charm is difficult, and many witches and wizards are unable to produce a full, corporeal Patronus, a guardian which generally takes the shape of the animal with whom they share the deepest affinity.

I have no idea what my patronus would be.  Something that likes pretty things but doesn't really exist, I guess.

19. Which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?
Hufflepuff - values hard work, patience, loyalty and fair play.

20. Would you rather be in Middle Earth, Narnia, Hogwarts, or somewhere else?
Of the list, Narnia.  Elsewhere, the Discworld.  I would like a world with narrativium.

21. Do you love easily?
No.

22. List the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.
Checking for movements.
Thinking about my babies.
Thinking about my partner.
Thinking about my next set of appointments.
Thinking about my physical state.

23. How often would you want to see your family every year?
Discounting my partner and kids, I can happily see family just every few months, with a bit of contact over phone, email or skype between that.

24.  Have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone?
Don't be ridiculous.

25. Could you live as a hermit?
With adequate maternity care, yes.  So perhaps I mean no.

26.  How would you describe your gender/sexuality?
Gender - female, but had my life gone a different way I can see how I would have become more masculine identified, but never male identified.
Sexuality - bisexual.

27. Do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?
Well, I'm very visibly pregnant now so I look like a mother, so yeah, I guess?

28. On a scale from 1 to 10, how hard is it for someone to get under your skin?
Very, very easily.  I'm a moody bastard.

29. Three songs that you connect with right now.
I am not connecting with any songs right now.

30. Pick one of your favourite quotes.

"...And that's what your holy men discuss, is it?" [asked Granny Weatherwax.]"Not usually. There is a very interesting debate raging at the moment on the nature of sin. for example." [answered Mightily Oats.]"And what do they think? Against it, are they?""It's not as simple as that. It's not a black and white issue. There are so many shades of gray.""Nope.""Pardon?""There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.""It's a lot more complicated than that--""No. It ain't. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth. People as things, that's where it starts.""Oh, I'm sure there are worse crimes--""But they starts with thinking about people as things..."--from Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett.

Eminem Lose Yourself in ASL

Watch this video, even if you think you don't care for signed performances, or for Eminem.

Now go read this article about how sign languages have rhyme and assonance.

Update - it has since been pointed out to me by a Deaf friend (who is fluent in BSL and knows a bit of ASL) that this video is pretty hard to follow, partly due to the woman's bouncing around, making it difficult to lip read.  Since the hearing people I showed this to were impressed but the Deaf woman wasn't, I think that's worth pointing out.

Sexist, lazy bullshit music reporting on BBC 6 music

So right now there's a programme on the radio about Sleater Kinney.  It started 3 minutes ago and I'm already furious.

The presenter described Sleater Kinney as a band who have transcended gender.
Edit - it's bloody Gideon Coe who is presenting!

*Rage flail*  No.  Just no. Sleater Kinney have not transcended their gender.  What you mean is you, a male journalist, have deigned to overlook the fact that they are women and decided to pay attention to them.  You have decided to grace them with your esteemed musical criticism.  Sleater Kinney have just written, played and recorded music.  You are the dick that has trouble seeing past their gender.

*You* have transcended their gender, not them.  When was the last time the music press described a male band as transcending their gender?  I'll bet never, that's when.  Because male bands are seen as the default starting block and women bands are seen as a bloody aberration that have to prove they are good despite there femaleness.

Female bands don't hide, or move beyond their gender, It's the male music industry that has to do that.  Except that they don't because it seems that 99.9% of articles about female bands talk about their gender and want to talk about what it's like being a female musician .  The music industry is bloody obsessed with gender, there's no transcending it.

Sleater Kinney have never tried to move beyond their gender, or ignore it. They are feminists, They are female.  This is an important part of their work.

Gods save me from male journalists who think they are granting us a favour by saying that female bands have transcended their gender.

Visit Sleater Kinney's website here.

Time to myself!!

Me and my boyfriend are at his mum's for Christmas.  It's good here, suitably different but with no pressure.  However we have done something or seen someone every day and it's felt a bit exhausting to me.  I also haven't been sleeping well - really tired during the day then when I go to bed I perk up and can't sleep. Bah.  But today no one else is around for a couple of hours so I am going to be a right proper introvert and spend the day blogging and thinking and listening to my youtube playlists and ignoring everyone.  Hurrah!

Manic Street Preachers The Holy Bible 20th anniversary gig

On Tuesday I went to go see the Manics perform, in it's entirety, for the first time, their most accomplished album, The Holy Bible.

I've been a fan for 20 years.  Some of these songs have never been played before.  This is the one thing I've been looking forward to since my son died.

They were good.   They played very well.  I was too short to see much of them on stage but I'm always too short to see much of them on stage.  They noodled a lot.  They are different musicians to their 20 years younger selves and so they played the music differently.  It was good.  I got emotional, of course I did, it's a Manics gig, I've had a pretty shit 6 and a half months and I'm a cliche.  But!  For a few seconds, for a little while, I forgot my troubles.  I felt OK enjoying the gig. I felt OK being out.  I didn't feel guilty.  This was the first time since June that I have been in such a big crowded environment and it didn't freak me out.  That's good.  I also started signing to 4st 7lbs and This is Yesterday.  I haven't really voluntarily and unconsciously signed since June.

They did 2 sets. The first was the Holy Bible in full.  Then there was a 10 minute break and then they did a mix of hits, songs from Futurology and rarely played.  And a little bit of Last Christmas of course.

I wore a leopard print skirt and a DC Roller Derby girls vest:
https://twitter.com/SarangaComics/status/544890981448167425/photo/1
No one commented on my vest.  There's a distressing low number of comic fans out there.  Or maybe there were lots and they all thought I was a fake geek girl (ha!).

I didn't come out of the gig feeling elated and buzzing.  Of course I didn't, I imagine it will be a long time before I feel elated and buzzing again. But, I am glad I went.  I'm grateful for the chance to be there and I'm grateful for how I could forget my troubles for just a short while.

I recommend you go listen to the Holy Bible now.  There are various playlists on youtube, this is one of them:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0F4BA11B133BFBA0

Chat Roulette Wrecking Ball and more!

So I posted the official Wrecking Ball song a couple of days ago.  I was then pointed to this Chat Roulette version of it.  You really should watch it.  SallyP, I know you don't want to see Cyrus' version of it, but I think you'll get a kick out of this:

It's not really safe for work.  Neither is his version of Call Me Maybe, which I can also highly recommend:

I have no idea how Chat Roulette works, I don't really want to know, but these videos are inspired.

Happy new year everyone!

Miley Cyrus: Wrecking Ball

I just watched the video for this, first time I've heard the song too (I'm slack).

The song is actually quite good, and she's got a dead nice voice, but I can't help but think that she didn't really need to be naked or to be having sex with the demolition equipment for it.  I might go so far as to say the song would be stronger had she had her clothes on and not been licking everything.

If you haven't seen it, here it is:

Honestly, who's idea was this?  I really hope it was her idea, or at least that she was keen to do it, because the idea of someone pushing her to do this is just creepy.

Oh, and the opening shot of just her head is the only thing this video has in common with Sinead O'Connor's Nothing Compares 2 U.

Very very late Thought Bubble comic reviews

These will probably be incoherent as I'm still feeling off colour.

The last review I did is here, and I just talked about two comics then.  I shoudl really have also have talked about The Last Tape In Hell by Sarah Gordon as she is also involved with The Peckham House for Invalids.

The Last Tape In Hell is a short glossy comic with few words but the most amazing colours.  Satan is hard at work, doing adminstrative hellish type things.  His old cassette player is spewing out the sounds of hell (Doom....Dooom...Dooom) until it suddenly packs up, chewing the tape up.  Younger readers probably won't have a clue what I'm talking about here.  Satan then goes off on a search for The Last Tape In Hell.  I can't tell you anymore because I'll spoil it.

It's only 14 pages long but it's glorious.  Gordon's art is stunning.  She's far more inventive than the majority of 'professional' artists I see in Marvel's and DC's products.  Because there is next to no dialogue the art has to tell the story and she uses  suchclever little framing devices, and colours, and mood lines that it's just perfect.

I am so glad I picked this up.  I was at Howard Hardiman's table picking up copies of the Peckham Invalids for a friend, and he pointed this out to me.  So it was a spur of the moment thing.  Definitely a good choice!

You can read more about this comic on her site and also buy it here.  She's on twitter @ratherlemony.
Also, she's done this piece here.  Isn't it great?

Next up, Black Out. I got this because I've been chatting to @elblondino on twitter, and he was one of my target folk to seek out and say hello to at the con.  Him and his fellow stand mate was all dressed up steampunk stylee, like the Clockwork Watch folk at the end of the row of tables, and it all looked very cool.  So elbondino did mention Black Out was rather adult.. so obvs I picked it up immediately.

It is filthy!  In a good way.  It collects 11 stories and they are all, with the exception of the demonologies, incredibly crude.  If you like Tank Girl, or Viz magazine, you'll probably like this.

Wages of Sin is about a dirty fucker living in a hovel who gets haunted by Death and the Devil.  Zingo's Lament is a one pager about a clown who eats kids, or not, and gets sent to hell.  Fat Jackie is another one pager, with a fat dude carving himself into a pumpkin (with the sort of set up and presentation I find hilarious but others make not get). What's inside a girl? is a tale of unrequtied teenage love, with misundertsanidng, booze, acid and cannibalism.  Then there' sex dolls and love in the afterlife ending in a  suicide.

You get the idea.  It's definitely not for kids.  I think it's bloody great though.  You can see a sample page here. You can buy it here, in digital and print formats.

More free music!

I'm still desperately trying to get rid of my CDs and books that I don't listen to/read, without the hassle of putting them on ebay.  So as with yesterday's blog, if you want any of these CDs, let me know.  I'll send them to wherever you are, and may ask you to pay postage (it will be about 80p per disc I reckon) and possibly donate some money to a charity of my choice (ASN, the RSPB's Albatross campaign, or Leeway Women's refuge).

If you want any of these email me on paicomics at yahoo dot co dot uk.  Otherwise they are going to a charity shop.

Go on, do me a favour, take them off my hands.


A Perfect Circle - Mer de Noms
Afghan Whigs - 1965
Ash - Trailer
At the Drive in - 3 albums ( copied CD)
Audioslave - Out of Exile
Bad Religion - Stranger Than Fiction
Blondie - Parallel Lines
Buzzcocks - Another Music In A Different Kitchen
Clash, the - Sandinista
Clash, the - The Clash
Clash, The - Combat Rock
Dead 60s, The -  The Dead 60s
Decemberists - Picaresque
 Deftones - Deftones
Divine Comedy, the - A Short Album About Love
 Doors, the- The Doors
 Drugstore - Drugstore
Dubstar - Stars
Everclear - So Much for the Afterglow
Fat Wreck Chords compilations - Survival of the Fattest
Fat Wreck Chords compilations - Physical Fatness
Fat Wreck Chords compilations -  Honest Don's Greatest Shits
 Fat Wreck Chords compilations -  Fat Music for Fat People
Fear Factory - Obsolete
Flaming Lips, the - Clouds Taste Metallic
Gene - Rising for Sunset
Gin Blossoms - Follow You Down
Gladys Knight & the Pips -  Every Beat Of My Heart 
  Godsmack - Awake
Goldfrapp - Supernature
Goldfrapp - Black Cherry
Green Day -  Dookie
Green Day - 3069 Smoothed Out Slappy Hours
Green Day -  Shenanigans
Guano Apes - Don't Give Me Names
Inme - OvergrownEden
Jackson, Michael -  Bad
Jackson, Michael - Thriller
Johnny Boy - Johhny Boy
Juliana Hatfield - Beautiful Creature
Juliana Hatfield -  Juliana''s Pony
Kaiser Chiefs -  Employment
Kill II This -  Another Cross II Bare 
Lemonheads, the - Car Button Cloth
Lennox, Annie - Medusa
Less Than Jake - Borders & Boundaries
Lever - Mustard
LK - Graceless
Lurkers, the - Live in Berlin
Marilyn Manson - Smells Like Children
Marilyn Manson - Golden Age Of Grotesque
Marilyn Manson - Omega
Massive Attack - Rising Son
Mercury Rev - All Is Dream
Midget - Alco Pop
Mighty Mighty Bosstones, The -  A Jackknife To A Swan
Millencolin - Home from home
Moloko - Things to Make and Do
Morcheeba - Trigger Hippie
Morcheeba - Tape Loop
Morcheeba - The Music That We Hear
Morrisette, Alanis - Under Rug Swept
Movie Soundtrack - The Beavis and Butt-Head Experience
Movie Soundtrack - Boston Kickout
Muse - Origin Of Symmetry
Music, the -  Welcome to the North
My Ruin - Speak and Destroy
Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - Murder Ballads
Nicolette -  Let No One Live Rent Free In Your Head
No Doubt - Tragic Kingdom
O'Connor, Sinead -  Am I Not Your Girl?
O'Connor, Sinead -  The Lion and the Cobra
Oasis - What's the Story Morning Glory?
Ocean Colour Scene -  Ocean Colour Scene 
Pennywise - About Time
Pixies - Doolittle
Pixies -  Surfer Rosa/Come on Pilgrim
Pixies - Complete B-Sides
Pixies Tromp Le Monde
Placebo - Without You I'm Nothing
Placebo - Black Market Music
Pretty Girls Make Graves - The New Romance
Primal Scream - Echo Dek
Public Enemy - Fear of A Black Planet
Queens of the Stone Age - Queens of the Stone Age
Queens of the Stone Age - Songs For The Deaf
Radiohead - My Iron Lung
Radiohead - The Bends
Ramones - Rocket to Russia
Ramones - We're Outta Here
Rancid - Indestructible
Raveonettes - Whip It On
Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Blood Sugar Sex Magik
Reed, Lou - Ecstasy
Regular Fries - Blueprint for a Higher Civilisation
Ruby - Short Staffed at the Gene Pool
Sebadoh - Sebadoh
Senseless Things - The first too many
Shelter -  Mantra
Shelter -  Beyond Planet Earth
Sick of it all - Live in a dive
Sidi Bou Said - Bodies
Silverchair -  Freak Show
Skindred - Babylon
Sleater-Kinney - Dig Me Out
Sleater-Kinney -  The Hot Rock
Slipknot - Slipknot
Smashing Pumpkins - Zero 
Soulwax - Much Against Everyone's Advice 
Space - Tin Planet
Stereo MCs - Connected
Strangelove - Another Night in
Strangelove - The Greatest Show On Earth
Sweet 75 - Sweet 75
Teenage Fanclub - Grand Prix
Teenage Fanclub - Man-Made
Thin Lizzy - Whiskey in the Jar
Tool - Opiate
Tura Satana - All Is Not Well
Vans compilation -  Off the Wall
Various Artists - Discovered
Various Artists - Punk O Rama – straight outta the pit
Various Artists - The Gone with the Wind of Punk Rock Samplers
Weezer - Blue Album
Winx - Left Above The Clouds
Zero - Simple Things 

Free music!

Hi all.  I've not been around lately because I've been away with work and this week I moved house.  After the move I cleared out a lot of my CDs and books and am not getting rid of a lot.  Given that there's no point listing them on ebay I figured I'd see if anyone reading this wants any.  They are mostly a mix of metal, punk and indie (this list gives you an insight into my musical taste!)


All of the following are without cases, if actual albums, or in a plastic sleeve if copies.  The free promo cds are in their original sleeves.  I'll send them wherever you are, and may ask you to pay postage (it will be about 80p per disc I reckon) and possibly donate some money to a charity of my choice (ASN, the RSPB's Albatross campaign, or Leeway Women's refuge).

If you want any of these email me on paicomics at yahoo dot co dot uk
Otherwise the copied CDs are getting binned and the rest are going to a charity shop.

(edited to take out the claimed CDs)

ABC/ID records - The psychobilly singles collection (Album, Copy)
Astrid - Boy for you (Album, Actual)
Audioslave   - ??? (Album, Copy)
Bad Religion - The New america (Album, Copy)
Black, Frank - Pistoleros (Album, Actual)
Clint Boon Experience, The compact guide to pop music and space travel (Album, Actual)
Cop Out - Free compilation (Album, Actual)
Dark Star - Dark Star promo cd (Album, Actual)
Deftones Promo cd – no idea what album (Album, Actual)
Demented are go - ??  (Album, Copy)

DJ Shadow - Endtroducing (Album, Copy)
Doors - Greatest Hits (Album, Actual)
Doves - Lost Souls (Album, Actual)
Dubstar - The self same thing (Single, Actual)
Echo & the Bunnymen - What are you going to do with your life? (Album, Copy)
Evanescence - Fallen (Album, Copy)
Goya Dress - Rooms (Album, Actual)
 Hatfield, Juliana - Bonus enhanced CD for some album
Junkie XL - Big sounds of the drag (Album, Copy)
Kerrang - Pinnacle Independent noise (Album, Actual)
Live - Throwing Copper (Album, Copy)
Me First and the Gimme Gimmes - Have a ball/are a drag (Album, Copy)

Metal Hammer - Brutal bunch 3 (Album, Actual)
Metal Hammer - Killing Cuts 6 (Album, Actual)
Metal Hammer - Killing Cuts 4 (Album, Actual)
Metal Hammer - Hammered vol 6 (Album, Actual)
Moby - Play (Album, Actual)
New to Q - Free compilation (Actual)
Orton, Beth - Central Reservation (Album, Actual)
Orton, Beth - Trailer Park (Album, Actual)
Orton, Beth - Daybreaker (Album, Copy)
Patrick Jones - Commemoration & Amnesia (Album, Actual)
Pennywise - Straight Ahead (Album, Actual)
Placebo - Sleeping with ghosts (Album, Copy)
Prodgy - Music for the jilted generation (Album, Actual)
Punk compilation - Made by a friend (Album, Copy)
Punk compilation - Made by a friend (Album, Actual)
Radio Kerrang - Free compilation (Album, Actual)
Radio Kerrang - Free compilation (Album, Actual)
Radio Kerrang - Free compilation (Album, Actual)
Red Hot chilli peppers - By the way (Album, Copy)
Reel Big Fish - Why do they rock so hard (Album, Copy)
Reel Big Fish - Turn the radio off (Album, Copy)
REM -  don't know which, but it has everybody hurts on it (Album, Actual)
Rock Sounds - Free compilation (Album, Actual)
Scarfo - Alkaline (Album, Actual)
Sebadoh - III disc 1 (Album, Copy)
Segovia ( Album, Copy)
Shed 7 - ??? (Album, Copy)
Smashing Pumpkins - ??? It's the one with Siva and rhinoceros on (Album, Actual)
Soundgarden -??? (Album, Copy)
Soundgarden - Louder than Love (Album, Copy)
Sunday Times - freebie 30 years of punk (Album, Actual)
The Beach Boys -  Best of?? (Album, Copy)
Tura Satana - ??? (Album, Actual)
U2 - The best of (Album, Copy)
Velvet Revolver - Contraband (Album, Copy)
Weezer - The Green album (Album, Copy)

Chris Brown music review

I approve.

It's not that I think people should never be allowed to move on from their crimes, it's not that I think people's artistics products can only be consumed if you like them as people as well, it's that he did a truly awful thing when he beat Rhianna, and most of the music industry seems to be ignoring it.  When women are routinely abused by their partners, and blamed for it, I think the music industry should be doing something.  So whenever I see a review like this, I am pleased that someone is saying domestic violence is wrong.  Don't give money to someone who beat up his girlfriend - he's a disgusting human being.

Today is hate the world day

So, I've been doing a British Sign Language Level 3 NVQ Certificate course (for British folk - it's about A-level standard).  I started it in September, finished (and passed) the first part (called language development) in December, and was very ready to start the second part in February, which would give me the qualification.

But the training provider I was training with had to delay the second part until September.  So I started looking for other providers.  Yesterday I headed down to London (no short trip - it's about 3.5 to 4 hours door to door, each way) for an assessment to do the second part of the course.  Which I right royally fucked up.  See, I know I'm at the required standard.  I'm at the right level.  My signing isn't fluent, I make mistakes, but I am ready to get this qualification and I am absolutely determined to do it.  Unfortunately I'm not very good in test situations, and I panic, doubt myself and get really nervous.  So my signing goes to pieces, my handshapes get sloppy, I forget basic vocabulary, I forget what I'm trying to say, I forget to respond to people, I concentrate so hard on getting all the information that I go out of focus and my mind wanders and I don't pick up what they want to tell me.

So because of nerves, because I want to do this qualification so badly I have probably screwed it up.  I wasn't at my best, I can do better.  I know this.  But what's the point if I can't show it?  I do the same with driving tests - I've got my third one on Tuesday. I can drive OK, I can drive to the right standard, I just freak out just before the test, get nervous and drive badly.  I will probably do the same again on Tuesday, which will mean another £62 (the cost of each test) and the cost of lessons is wasted, and I'll have to spend it all over again.

Have an appropriate song:

Edit, made about 5 hours later:  Now I've had a walk and a think I figure the best thing for me to do is keep up my signing, go to workshops and training to improve problem areas, go to more deaf events, and just suck up the fact that I'm gonna have to wait till September to do the second part of the level 3.  And delay/amend my career plans, as I'm obviously not gonna get to to the next level  as soon as I thought.
Fuck, I'm so angry at myself for screwing up yesterday.

It's Black History Month in the UK

I offer you two videos.  Both, Nina Simone, one is Strange Fruit and the other is Young, Gifted and Black:

England riots

I want to write about the riots but i'm a) really tired and b) out every night this week.  This causes a problem.

Basically, lots of teenagers and kids are running around big cities in England (not Wales, Scotland or Northern Ireland, you'll note) and muggin people, setting fire to things and looting shops.  It started last weekend after a guy got shot by the police in London and a protest was organised.  It's no longer a protest (in my eyes, though undoubtedly some of the kids think they're protesting) and it's pure criminal damage.  People have died, others have been put in hospital, many have lost their livelihood as their businesses are burnt to the ground.

My city isn't affected but my friend's cities are.  It's not caused by social media, tuition fees, bad diets, alcohol, single mothers or video games.  It is a fucking nightmare for the people in the areas where the kids are rioting.  It's not even organised riots, just many seperate gangs of kids.

Now they're talking about bringing in the army, rubber bullets and water cannons.  The poor police have not got enough coppers in the force to maintain control.  Personally, I'm swinging more towards arresting all the rioters and chucking them in gaol, cos they know full well what they're doing.

I'll leave you with The Clash, singing London's Burning.

Amy Winehouse has died

Fuck.  Story here.  I don;t know much of her music, but this news makes me sad.  Poor woman, dying alone is no way to go.  In tribute, here is her song Rehab, fitting I think (and not in a mocking way).

Unpretty

Currently listening to TLC: Unpretty.  I love this song.  And the video is fab.

Signing Choir

Some of you may know that I am in a BSL signing choir.  This means we interpret songs into British Sign Language (or sometimes Sign Suported English) and we perform them at various venues.  Lots of people are curious about this, they don't know how it works, what it entails or how we perform.  So, to increase awarenness I am providing links to our videos (eep).

The following videos were recorded on 4th May at the Forum in Norwich, for the Norfolk Deaf Awareness Festival.  For me, I was having a bad (terribly nervous) day that day, so my performance is not very good.  Others in the choir are far better that I.

Whole choir doing Take That's Rule The World

Whole choir doing Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight

Whole choir doing John Barrowman's Love Changes Everything

Solo of Alanis Morrisette's Ironic  (My favourite of all the performances)

For a taste of other ways to interpret songs, this is a you tube channel for one of my friends doing solo performances, under the name V Sign.  She's fabulous.  Really really good.

Of course, there's always Lee's BSL songs as well, which are jaw droppingly excellent.  I don't know him, I just wish I could sign like him!

Young, Gifted and Black

Young Gifted and Black is an extraordinarily powerful song.  I cannot think of any other songs that express the same, or a similar sentiment.  That is, a sense of full pride in simply being who you are.  A feeling of joy and self worth and self value for just being who you are.  That you are not only entitled to feel pride, but that to be *you* is such a wondrous, lucky, enviable thing.  Voicing that feeling, especially for a group that is so often told they are shit for being who they are, well it’s simply beautiful and joyous.

(If i'm lucky that video link will actually work)

She bathed herself in a bath of bleach

Following on from yesterday's inspiring music post, here's another set of lyrics by another favourite band of mine, the Manic Street Preachers.  I've posted about them before.  I saw them again recently, and while they didn't play this song they were still pretty awesome.
This is from their second last album, and I think is about one of the women that the ex lyricist met in a mental hospital, (so, trigger warning for relationship abuse and self harm).

She'd walk on broken glass for love
She thought burnt skin would please her lover
To keep love alive and lust beside
Kind people should never be treated like...

Empty arms and aching heart
The love she sought through faltering thought
Table for two, such a sweet delight
Whispers "I love you my darling" tonight

Love bathed her in a bath of bleach
"I'll brush your hair, no one else will"
don't hurt her anymore, stop now
But salmon pink skinned Mary's still caring...

Empty arms and aching heart
The love she sought through faltering thought
Table for two, such a sweet delight
Whispers "I love you my darling tonight"

Empty arms and aching heart
The love she sought through faltering thought
Table for two, such a sweet delight
Whispers "I love you my darling tonight"

Listen to it here.  I can listen to it over and over and over and over and over.  I love it.