Now this is what I'm talkin' 'bout - The Truth, London Style

Tell it Chi!


510

Parody or Reality? Too Many Weave Video

I received in my inbox my I-magazine subscription from Mia Press's Going Natural.
What caught my attention was the interview with Jason Lewis, a comedian out of the UK who created a parody from another UK artist's song, Too Many Man.
When you watch the video, you'll see he says he was really playing at the end about the whole "Too Many Weave" complaint. My question is, is this a true parody or are men starting to feel the overpowering effect of "too many weaves"?

When you take a look at Chris Rock's documentary called Good Hair, you'll see women profess to the "Creamy Crack" as well as view discourse about how men "can't" touch a woman's weave.From movie stars, to high power executives to simply women who get their "check" once a month, weave is in. And I must question, are men starting to feel the constraints or boundaries for the price they pay for beauty they will accept? I do remember my "weave" days, although short lived and remember how my biggest concern was, "Can anyone see my tracks" or the noticeable difference in my and the weave's hair texture. But nowadays, women of all colors are increasingly drawn to many things that are not natural, but in their eyes "beautiful". Begin to observe children, tweens, and teens of all colors longing to have "Hanah Montana hair".

It's more than a notion, the HM phenomena. Do you actually think the industry is going to stop and say, "Hey, let's not promote wigs, weaves and extensions. It might damage these children's self esteem, self concept and self acceptance." They are saying, "Wow, what an easy way to have customers for life starting as young as 4 yrs old!" At the end of the day, HM, her dad, Disney and every endorser will be stacking their dollars after they've pimped out millions of folks who can't rub two nickels together for their own daughter's education. Just something to think about. Thank God for those who are writing/blogging about the truth. It is the only thing that will indeed set you free. But hey, we all gotta defend something. Let's just hope it's the right thing. I've blogged about this topic before.

You can view the rest of Tyra's show on Good vs Bad Hair on this youtube channel.

Did Garrett Morgan ruin Black Women's Minds and Hair?

I've been meaning to do some google research on the damaging effects of chemical relaxers for the longest and found this website.
It discusses some little known history of chemical relaxers.
So a black inventor was the forerunner of an industry now dominated by non-blacks?

Like Arsenio Hall used to say, on his Nightly TV Show,

It's one of those things that make you go

" Hum-mmm " ..... !

Turning the Titanic Around- Black Hair Care

Since teaching at a school with such a high concentration of black students, I'll be doing some research over the holidays to find websites and videos to share information about black hair, hair care, natural vs. relaxed, and the industry for my kids, especially the girls to check out.

We have a lot of store front Asian owned hair supply stores in Waco as most small and large cities do as long as there is a decent population of blacks to fork over their hard earned money to. And yes as the videos below display the community in which these stores serve are often poor, depressed and economically disadvantaged.

I know when I was a hair care junkie, whenever I went into, and still if I did today, the beauty supply shops, there was a low interest from the staff in giving me products to help my hair, but instead a high interest in them selling me whatever. I will say that when I lived in Houston, my favorite hair supply store which was in the Hobby area on 8326 Broadway St., was owned by an African gentleman. ANAN Beauty Supply. He was wonderful and extremely helpful and honest about making suggestions for my haircare needs. He had lots of supplies and hair, so I'm thinking he had no problem getting product from the distributors. The videos below are from a few I searched and found this morning on youtube. Thank you Karen Halliburton, for sharing your website as well. Very informative.



And so BOBSA was formed.











The struggle in London as well.



Nappy Roots Documentary




Some of my girls are so "fogged" in their self perception, it's nothing for them to walk up and down the hallways with their hair alllll over their head. They are getting better about not walking around with a comb stuck in their hair. I will tell them in a second that that's "Ghetto". I tell them, "You are a princess" and ask them to kindly remove the comb from their hair. If I can just get them to become "aware" that they can be seen and that they are not isolated. So in one way they are image conscious, and in another way, they aren't.

It's weird because one of the boys was commenting in a very direct manner to one of the girls in class about how her hair was breaking off and that she was becoming bald headed. He told her to "do something" with her hair. The sad part about it was, he was telling the truth. The sadder part about it was, she was trying to do something about it. She is one of mine who has the comb in her hair daily, yet her hair is all over her head. I saw how helpless you looked trying to defend herself, rebutting to him that she was gonna get a perm. My heart sank.

The kids look at my locks and some admire them, but have no clue or idea of how they can get to the place I am in. Jen and I discussed investing in one young lady who's a good braider and getting her trained in SLs and have her help the revolution begin here in Waco. I really believe if they knew what to do, they would do it. I know these girls are tired of damaging their hair at their young tender ages already, but do not know how to get out of this trap. Until then, they will just do what they see in the videos, in the magazines, and among each other, all the while for those who can't take care if it, will continue ruining their hair. My question to the online natural hair community is how do we become an agent for change? Do we just complain about what we see, or do we do something about it?

Keeping it Natural, Not Nappy Headed Article

Say it Pricilla P! My thoughts exactly!

Who influences who the most? Men or Women?

I was lurking in Lovinlocs yahoo group and saw a discussion about who influences who where women were concerned. The question came from brother Tai, a blogging and fotki friend who's sported natural dreads for over a decade. Here's what Tai said:

ok, i'll put it out there. i'd really like to hear from the sistas
honestly, H-O-N-E-S-T-L-Y!

besides yourself, whom are u most concerned with such things as
personal appearance and hair styles? i'm not speaking on the "i'm
going out and wanna look good" tip. i'm talking about who says what
to u, and how much meaning or influence does it have on u, for u.

i made the point earlier that it seemed women were more influenced by
their female family/friends/co-workers, etc. and therefore i believe
women do play a much larger role on them and their decisions
regarding appearances than men. conversely, men do NOT seem to be as
tied to each other, eg., i don't care or give much thought to what my
boys think of my hair, clothing etc....i do what i want to do, and
they do what they want to do. i will say tho that i DO care what
women/sistas think about my appearance, and so will most other men
admit as well.

so, sistas, enlighten a brotha.....

or, for the male members out there, feel free to chime in as well.

peace

This was my answer:

Hey Tai,

Just droppin' in from lurkmode for a moment to respond to your
question. IMHO, women and girls alike become more concerned about
their appearance from other women because that's who we are around
mostly. Girls look at their mothers, sisters, cousins, and friends
and a natural comparison starts taking place. It gets bad when
boasting about what "who" has becomes an issue to the one who "has
not". That sense of belonging starts at an early age and for some
never goes away.

Another thing is we are always trying to "fit" in whether we admit it
or not or realize it is happening unconsciencely. I've had most all
of my boyfriends just "love" whatever I did to my hair in the past. I
think when we look neat and cute, it really doesn't matter what we
come up with...as long as it's neat and cute...or sexy for that
matter. Guys love a woman who takes care of herself. They just
haven't been exposed to enough women taking taking care of themselves
in a more natural way, especially when it comes to hair. I'm not in a
relationship now, but I know if I were in one, the brother probably
wouldn't be able to keep his hands out of my hair. It contagious!! (LOL)

As an adult, more drama about my hair came from female friends and
family members than males (with the exception of my dad). But I will
say that I hung out with a few natural sistahs, and one in particular
cut all her long permed hair off and went natural while we were in
collage. Making that bold statement was hard for her at first, but
her true essence rose and pretention started to diminish. She started
asking herself the hard questions we women avoid about natural beauty
and hung around to get some answers from herself and her spirit.
Going natural changed her and set her apart from everyone else trying
to "look" the part to "fit" in. Now she had a strong influence in her
life which was her older sister, who sported a fade for years. Today
they both have fades, both are happily married, with children, and
working in banking and education.

Their mother has worn her hair relaxed for as long as I've known her. I can
only guess she probably has made her feelings known to her daughters, but to their advantage, she raised strong black women who weren't afraid to color outside the lines.

My sister and I are both locked and coming home to Texas (Central)
where we have to drive to Dallas (1 1/2 hrs) to get our hair
maintained has been quite interesting. We are strong and could care
less about what anyone has to say about our hair. She wore dreads for
10 years. I on the other hand had issues with not wanting to embrace
my "natural" me and it took longer to erase those negative tapes in my
head about me, my appearance and my hair. But thank God, I's FREE
now! All LOCKED UP, but FREE.

Maryee

And lastly, here's his response to my response:

hi mary, and thanks for an excellent response to my
question, and i appreciate it. a few things i wanted
to say in response is u where u said:

"women and girls alike become more concerned about
their appearance from other women because that's who
we are around mostly"

but that's the same way it is with men too, we spend
alot of OUR time around each other as well. and yet,
it's u lovely SISTAS that we are concerned with in
ALOT of our dressing/appearance behaviours. from the
shoes we wear to the way we style and groom our heads,
is often done to impress U.

we do enjoy just about anything u ladies do to
yourselves, as long as it's, as u put it, neat and
cute. but what's even more attractive is confidence,
and it's just something about seeing a "natural" black
woman that stirs something within the black man. not
all of us go crazy over the "beyonce's" of the world.
yeah, she's attractive, but does she stand out more
than an india? my opinion is "no", b/c the beyonce's
come a dime a dozen. and i'm only using her as an
example b/c more women seek to emulate her than they
do india.

and lastly, perhaps more women should be concerned
more with those men who DO embrace natural sistas than
those who don't. if i were a black woman, i would NOT
WANT a man who couldn't dig the "natural" me. perhaps
more sistas need to think about the guys that DO get
it, instead of focusing on those brothas who don't.

continue to be FREE!

Does anyone else feel the same or different?? Just curious.

Reflections on Going Natural and Getting Locked

This was an "essay" I posted in Lockitup back in July. I thought I'd share it on my blog. Straight from the heart!

Most women want to have natural hair, locks, twists and the whole nine, but as many of us have experienced on our own, we initially allowed misconceptions and other people's perception of us and themselves cloud our decision-making process. You can add to the list, but as I reflect, when I first wanted to get my hair locked five years ago, there were a variety of things that plagued my thoughts. Some of you may or may not have experienced some of the things I did. A lot of the drama occurred in my own mind.

I thought…

1. My hair was nappy, which equated to a negative perception of myself.
2. Braids were acceptable, because they didn't make my hair appear so "nappy" (I even permed the edges so my hair would match the synthetic or human hair). Deep huh?
3. I wanted to feel good about myself with the way I looked and going natural didn't give me that kind of motivation, desire or feeling.
4. I didn't want to endure the stares, questions and opinions of others if I went natural. As we all know anytime we change any look others are used to seeing us in, there is always potential opposition.
5. I didn't think I would look "pretty" or "nice" or "neat" with natural hair.
6. More so than our non-black counterparts, the grief mostly came from family and friends.
7. I remember when I first got my hair two strand twisted, everyone just “stared”. They didn’t know what to say as to not offend me with their opinion of my hair style. Maybe it was a Texas thing.
8. The curse of wanting straight hair because it was more "socially" acceptable always lurked into my thoughts.
9. I did not have a healthy understanding or appreciation of my natural roots, no pun intended. :-)
10. I looked in the mirror and when I saw nappy roots or edges, I considered my hair and myself ugly, unattractive, and unappealing.
11. Looking in magazines and on TV, the percentage of permed straight hair out weighed natural styles, with the exception of braids (with other people's hair in my head).
12. I was scared and fearful of the potential outcome, especially if I didn't like it.
13. I was afraid of rejection by others.
14. I was not willing to endure the suffering (growing pains) while the change was occurring.
15. Although I saw my sister with dreadlocks for like ten years+, it never occurred to me I could have the same freedom although I longed for it.
16. I knew that at some point I would go completely natural, and each step I made moved me to the next level. So I wore braids with natural hair underneath for years.
17. I saw the spirit and confidence of others who wore natural styles and I felt like I was left out.
18. When I saw sisters and brothers alike who wore dreds, locks, or natural styles, they seemed more in tune with themselves (their spirit) and less pretentious.
19. Having friends or family say, "Girl, your hair is nappy, you need a perm" or "why don't you just get a texturizer", or whatever always seemed to urk me. It was like I cramped their style because I wanted my hair to be natural.
20. Although I knew how much drudgery was involved in getting my hair braided, unbraided, finding a good braider, taking care of my hair in it's natural state, I kept braids in for over ten years all the while watching my hair thin out on top with only my fear and laziness to blame.

Now I threw this list together from just freethinking. There were probably more things I struggled with to get me over the hump and getting on with life concerning my "hair care drama", or as my sister Jen calls it, "chemical dependency". It took a series of steps to get me to where I am today, and boy am I thankful.

As women we ought to do ourselves a favor and begin to tell ourselves the truth about how we feel about ourselves. I guess the question is, "Where is the love?" Can we love ourselves no matter what state we are in? Can we tell ourselves the truth and if the truth is a "lie", meaning that we are lying to ourselves, can we face that "lye" head on and tell the truth? I don't know, but I'm thankful that the closer I get to "Truth", the more free I be! Freedom has it's privileges, don't you think?

T.W.'s reply in lockitup:

I think you just about covered the myriad of feelings we all went through before
making the BIG decision to get SLs. Even now I have those moments when I feel
"less than ____" (fill in the blank with "attractive" "accepted" "socially
acceptable" or whatever) because of my hair. But believe me those moments
quickly dissipate and are becoming far and few between. But then too I see the
sistas with the perms and long braids or weaves parading around, flicking their
hair and putting on a front that they are "attractive" "accepted" whatever, but
I have to admit I feel a tinge of pity for them because I see them as being fake
just like the white girls with the collagen lips. "C'mon, you and everybody else
knows you weren't born that way," I want to say to them. Even my 71-year old
mother, bless her heart, told me she just didn't feel attractive when she wore
her hair in a TWA. She'd rather press the mess out of it and have it laying greased and stuck to her head in, what I would never tell her, is really the most unattractive look, always concerned about the weather making it "go back". Umph, umph, umph.

I may have my moments of feeling "less than", but it is a better feeling than
the way I used to feel when I would get compliments on my weave or braided
styles. I always felt insincere and awkward saying "Thank you." Now when I get
compliments on my SL's a very sincere "Thank you" seems to come from somewhere
else in my being. I'm me the way God intended. Those who have problems with my
natural look.....that's just it....their problem.

What a woman's hair says about her

Since I have a blog pretty much devoted to Sisterlocks, I decided to go back into the archives of our on-line yahoo group, lockitup and pull all my "essays" out and put em' in my blog. I figure if I'm gonna write a book one day, I might as well keep all my research and info in one place. So, with that being said, my first "essay" will be in response to lockitup group member Zorah's forward of an article that discusses what a woman's hair says about her. The article is below and my response is after it.

This article was found on Bet.com
By Celeste Dawn Mitchell, BET.com Staff Writer
Can you tell anything about a woman’s lifestyle,musical tastes or sexual orientation from herhairstyle? It might sound crazy but men often decide if a woman is their type based on her hair.Kittrina, a 20-year-old college student, has noticed an uptick in the number of men with locs who approach her since switching from chemically relaxed hair to locs eight months ago. “Men with dreadlocks like females who are into the natural look like them,” she says.Marissa, 29, with her super-long, relaxed hair attracts athletic and “everyday” guys. Not one artsy bohemian or brotha with locs in sight.During the three years that I wore locs, the only men who looked my way were men with locs themselves. But now that my locs are history and I’m a curly girl, men of all stripes are approaching me. My locs, I’m convinced, spoke volumes on my behalf. “She doesn’t shave,” my hair seemed to say. “She doesn’t eat meat. She smokes ganja, grows her own fruit and she only wants righteous brothas who praise Jah.” But none of these things were true. Okay, I don’t eat red meat, but I started that practice back in college—and my hair was relaxed at the time! Just to prove that I'm not imagining such preconceived notions, I asked some guys their initial impressions of a woman with locs. They responded with “conscious,”“organic,” “feminist,” “laid-back,” “Rasta,”“vegetarian” and “homeless.”When asked about relaxed hairstyles, these same men described women with those styles as “the norm,”“normal” and “everyday.”And, finally, when asked about close-cropped natural hair, they described women sporting these styles as “smart,” “afrocentric,” “lesbian,” “butch,”“rebellious” and “comfortable with themselves.”

Ladies, think about what your hair is saying. I am not suggesting that you should change your hair to land a man but, if you suspect that your hair is limiting your dating options, get proactive. You might want to offer some encouragement to men who may be writing you off, or writing themselves off, based on your do. Try making extra eye contact or making the first move and initiating a conversation. Men, relax those snap judgments and remember that often a hair style is just a style. As India Arie sang at a recent concert Washington, D.C. concert, “I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am not your expectations.”Get to know the woman inside.----------What do you think?

BET.comer mrmack says, "I personally like the relaxed hair on women. Straight, curly, braids are all fine with me. But I personally don't like locks on a female. It just looks like a women puts more time into herself, if she goes and gets her hair done at a beauty shop. Not trying to diss anyone, but those are the only type of women I approach."BET.comer SDBryant says, "Oh my gosh I agree! When I'm wearing my hair in a neat afro or natural two strandtwist I go nearly unnoticed...yet on the other hand,when I have my hair in long, tiny braids, the attention is almost irritating. I find it rather ironic and men somewhat shallow."

Here goes...

posted on Lockitup Mon Aug 15, 2005
Thanks Zorah for forwarding this article.

OK, here's my thoughts on the matter... (this is a lil' long)

Although I was HAPPY to get my hair done in whatever state it was,braids, cut, ponytail, perm, or whatever, it never concerned me as to how I would be perceived. All I wanted was something done to this wig. It really did not matter what anyone thought when I decided to get Sisterlocks as far as that is concerned. I just wanted the haircare drama to stop. I already knew I was under opposition being from Texas and the backwards (slave) mentality of many friends, families, and foes I was going to possibly come up against. It is funny because when I wore "human hair" weaves, ponytails and the like that looked NOTHING like my hair or me, it was "great" to everyone. I even thought so myself. It was sort of like assimilation. I guess if I was honest with myself at that time, I probably felt more "accepted" and like "them". Deep, but real.

The million dollar questions should have been, "Do I 'accept' me and exactly 'who' is this them I am trying to be like?" I was living in Sacramento, California only four months in 2000 when I first got two-strand twists. The natural hair lady in town, Akilah, did Sisterlocks and that's when I was first introduced to this way of locking your hair. I am one for researching, so it was some time after that, when I found out about Pat Hunley's website when she was early in her journey. Thank God for her, because I was able to read about the pains and struggles I would possibly have to endure. I sat and watched Akilah retighten a client's hair while waiting for my appointment. It was so intimidating to me, yet intriguing. I saw how at peace the ladies who had naturals and Sisterlocks were. They were so excited. They were older ladies but seemed so youthful and content. I noticed even the younger men and women in the shop who had natural styles and they seemed so suave and regal. I was like, "I want that kind of peace with my hair. What do I have to do to get it?"

After she told me it would be like $500 to get the locks put in, my financial spirit was crushed. I'd just gone from paying $436 a month for my condo mortgage in Houston to $850 for my townhouse in Sac. I was trying to get straight in my head the $30 an hour fee for two-strandtwists, so this was all new to me. Nevertheless, I was still determined to make some kind of transition and get into "save money" gear. I wanted Sisterlocks. My hair was damaged pretty badly and the sweet loctician trimmed the bad parts as best she could after two-strand twisting em'. I thought it was cute. My hair was silky looking and feeling. Something I never knew my own hair could feel like. It was weird,but exciting.

However, I felt different. Exposed. This was MY REAL HAIR. My head did feel a little naked, cause I'd spent so many years with extra "somebody's" hair braided, weaved, crocheted into my hair. I had to embrace it. It was like having a baby for the first time. You are excited about this new addition to your life, and but in a lot of ways you just do not know what to do. You have this "creation" that is to be loved and cared for, but you do not want to harm or hurt it. You just want to do the best you can to take care of it. You also have to "get used" to it. That is where I was. It was easy for a week strutting around Sacramento with my new "look", but I then had to head South and go home. I don't care what people say, there are ALOT of backwards thinking folks in Texas. I know, cause I was one of them.

Thinking back, that was pretty scary and hard at the same time. That was when fear and insecurities set in. The flight from California to Texas was one long agonizing trip. I wasn't sure if I was prepared for the negative feedback. I did, however, anticipate it. I knew it was coming. Folks were used to seeing me in braids and of course someone else's hair in my head. I was use to that, too. I'd worn them more on than off, for ten years.

The first stop was Houston and then to Waco. From the lack of feedback, if any and my assessment, I would guess no one back home liked it and there was this sense of "silence" when folks saw my hair for the first time. I mean, loooonnnnng uncomfortable pregnant pauses. They talked to me while looking "up side" my head. Did I like that feeling? "NO!" Did I have to endure it? "Yes".

For some reason I saw beyond that pain. I wanted Sisterlocks, and if I could not handle how folks felt about my two-strand twists, I was surely in more of a battle when I was going to decide on something more permanent. My sister had traditional locks for over 10 years and I never cared to ask about nor questioned her about her plight. I just knew she never complained or had any trouble.

I had to convince myself that going completely natural was good, I looked good, and I was making the best decision for me. I had to CONVINCE myself. It was very "heady". You know your mind playin' tricks on you. So, although it took almost three years to get to Sisterlocks (11-28-03), I'd say at this point, if I "repelled" any man from approaching me, that was fine. He was just screaming to me that he had hang-ups and insecurities he himself was going to have to face and work through on his own. Why should I bother with that? Most men have been attracted to me, no matter how my hair has looked. I don't know about the others who may have passed me by, but I am sure there were some.

So now, I am back home in Central Texas with my 21 month old Sisterlocks and thankfully anyone whom I run into who has Dreadlocks, Sisterlocks, Naturals, TWAs and the like all seem to be "movers and shakers", which is what I am used to seeing and being around. They "represent" well and of course it makes the transition easy for my sister and me since we're both locked.

There are not many natural hair wearers in Waco, but that is to be expected. This town lives and breathes for perms and braids and weaves and anything that's fake. I know because I lived that existence right here in my hometown for years. The best part about it, is that when folks meet me since returning home is, they are not only inspired, but are motivated to take a deeper look at their own natural beauty. Start questioning their motives about how they view themselves. I also offer an opportunity to teach and educate, which dispels myths and untruths about folks with natural hair and locked hair. I am extremely happy about that.

Nothing has stopped men from approaching me and I get compliments from white men as well. I have had from thugs to white-collar brothers to doctors trying to get to "know me better". As far as the brothers are concerned, as I said, I'd rather be single and free from some insecure man than be needy and willing to take whomever for whatever reason. I'm just not that desperate. If my Sisterlocks repel the deadbeat dudes, then Hip Hip Hoorah!!!

I have plenty of othergifts, talents, abilities, and greater things to bring to the table that automatically make men least likely to approach me if they are shallow, intimated and insecure. Unfortunately and fortunately at the same time that is how it is going to be. For now, I live, I laugh, and I love life as it is being presented to me. When the right one comes around, he will find me. Until then, I will keep gleaning.

Black women and natural beauty article.