Romantic Italy......(this is a long one, so have a seat...)

Several years ago...

I went to Italy with my girlfriends

(doesn't sound romantic so far, does it?)

I had been set free from a failed

 marriage for only a year,

and I was desperate to feel something,

(anything) again.

So when a friend suggested that 

6 of us should go to 

Rome, 

Sorento,

Amalfi Coast,

Florence,

and 

Venice...

I jumped on it.

 I am not good at waiting...

but we planned well,

saved our money,

made reservations,

got discounts,

worked extra hours,

and odd jobs,

to get there.

I was on a quest...

searching for the unknown...

and

 I found 

passion....

in many forms.

I had been a Flight Attendant 

in a previous life

and missed traveling tremendously. 

I had been a professional 

photographer, but had sold my 

equipment to pay for the divorce.

Italy was good for me....

she spoke my language....

she showed me that life goes on...

she awakened a lust for life....

she was my friend....

Italy, she is my inspiration.

 I found the wanderlust,

and the passion for documenting life....

I was reborn, in a way...

I could breathe again.

The sweet young couple above,

was found walking to St Peter's Square, 

presumably to have their photographer

(in tow)

take their wedding photos....

I saw that flash of white,

and trotted after them yelling 

Scuzi!

(which in my head meant "Please stop and let this strange American woman take your photo!")

They very politely stopped and let me snap away.

Then, they were off!

Here is another story.....

it takes place in Venice.

I am on the Rialto Bridge,

and I look off to the side at the boats,

and YES! another white flash....

There she stood, sweetly, demurly, patiently,

as a half dozen men took her photograph.

They seemed to be everywhere,

with 35mm, Hasselblads, video, etc...

She was apparently very special.

But, she seemed to be modest also...interesting...

So, off I trotted again...

down to the side she was on..

and took up a position that would not interfere,

or irritate the professionals...

magic!

Now, I have reproduced this same photo several times....

changing it to B/W,

cropping a bit more each time....

to illustrate a point that I make with my brides....

Color is fabulous for conveying the 

mood of your day...

 But,

when you want to notice details....

and expressions....

B/W is the only way!

It eliminates the distraction of all the bright color,

and focuses your attention on the important

things....like a smile, a tear...a frown...

you get the picture 

(sorry)

Look at her necklace

her bracelet

her head piece...

you might not have ever noticed these details,

important ones, that she must have spent hours

deciding on...

had the photo always been in color.

Your eye would have been drawn to the flowers,

the water,

the boats,

etc...

All of which were lovely...

In the photo above, 

on the other hand,

look at the expressions!

You can almost read their minds.

So what has this guy to do with any of this....

well, he is perhaps the most romantic person 

in Rome on the day I shot these photos...

He apparently had decided that he was going to 

"Pop the question" 

with the help of his friends, 

in St Peter's Square,

in a way that she could not refuse...

So,

he planned and co-ordinated the effort...

so that at an appointed time,

they would all stand in front of the fountain,

to have their photo taken,

and they would all produce a piece of paper....

Will....U....Marry...(decided to clap, Me)...?....Courtney......(Please, maybe?).....!

Apparently, 

Courtney said YES!

So young, 

so happy,

so innocent,

ah...love.

These are not in chronological order....

but who cares?

They are so sweet!

Look at teh girl inthe pink scarf on the left!

and the girl with the question mark, tearing up..

and the guy with the sign already folded up 

and stowed under his arm....just smiling...

So, you see....

travel is good for the soul...

it makes you appreciate the comforts you have at home...

and, if you are lucky,

it will bring you a new perspective,

restore your outlook on life....

and inspire you to live again...

as a side note...

all of this photos were taken on film,

which at sometime in the past I have 

scanned into my computer.

Trouble is....I neglected to clean each and everyone of the 

hundreds of negatives that I scanned and thus there are some

squiggly white lines (lint) an dots (dust)....

I could go through them all in a fine program like 

Aperture....and fix them

but this girl has little time these days for cleaning negs....

she's been inspired!

smiles.....again

Snow Day! and a new love.....

I have a new love.....

an obsessive love....

one that transends time and space....

an unexpected love....

I love talented people,

and 

often 

I find

that women seldom 

gain the recognition that they deserve....

I found Vivian Maier

through a link on Etsy.

A wonderful article telling an interesting tale

of film and negatives, 

lost

and 

found....

a mystery if you like.

I am appreciative of the fact that today 

is a certified "snow day" here in my town,

and the DOT

has asked us to stay home,

if we don't have good reason to drive.

I have good reason to stay home....

and admire the work of a 

woman,

gone

but no longer

forgotten......

smiles

And the word was...

Authenticity...

"(in existentialist philosophy) relating to or denoting

 an emotionally appropriate, significant, purposive,

 and responsible mode of human life."

That is where I wanted to go this year, 2010.

I endeavored to place myself in a "mode"

of authenticity....

As I interpreted it,

it meant; to be 

who I really am,

without pretense...

false behavior,

or two-faced communication.

It was surprisingly easy....

to be me...

(no, I won't break out in song, promise)

but it had an unexpected consequence...

I started to become aware of the lack

of authenticity in the world around me.

It hurt.

I didn't like it at all....

and,

I found

that 

I have little tolerance for it, anymore.

I believe that we tolerate behavior

in order to 

"get by"...

and then we become immune to it.....

we fail to recognize it for what it is.....

we begin to think of it as the norm.

Sorry,

but that sucks.

I hope

that I never become immune to lack of authenticity again.

Even though, being acutely aware of it has 

some unintended consequences too...

it narrows your playing field,

your playmates become fewer,

and you may not even be able to tolerate your own family much,

but 

you 

may 

find

that you 

find 

serenity.....

smiles.

Freedom...

to tweak...

to manipulate...

to create...

to make a mistake....

That's what I love about 

not being the photographer "on-duty"

every once in a while.....

Creativity is stifled by pressure....

there is such freedom in

doing something for fun....

without expectations...

What FUN!

smiles.

God Bless Us.....Everyone....

Isn't it odd...

that no matter

 how hard we try

 to have lower expectations

 of the holidays...

There is so much room for

hurt...

dispair...

disappointment...

fear....

sadness...

judgement...

separation...

loneliness....

sorrow...

Sometimes...

even when you prepare yourself

for what you think might be the most

unexpected occurance....

you are caught off guard.

Even when you

resign yourself to the disappointment...

more comes your way.

Personally,

I am blessed.

My family and friends are

near, dear and wonderfully,

present.

However,

someone who I am very emotionally

attached to..... is sad.

Lack of common courtesy...

lack of respect...

lack of love..

How do we deal with lack of

love?

God blesses us...

sometimes we don't see our

blessings,

until it is too late and they are

taken away from us....

God,

please allow me to be

present.

Thank you to all of you who

visit my blog.

You have helped me this year more than you can

possibly know.

Please continue to let me know how,

and who you are...

thank you from deep inside....

smiles.

How hard it is to accept the unacceptable....

Who among us can't relate to Viola?

How many times has life given someone else,

who we see as undeserving, the better deal?

How many times have we said "NO FAIR!",

and pointed out the other person's faults?

The only thing that growing older really gives you is a little perspective.

If you are open to it,

and very lucky.

The last 24 hours have seemed particularly unfair.

Details are unimportant.

But today I am grateful that I am older and tiny bit wiser,

and know in my heart that everything will be OK.

Life goes on whether we choose to participate or not.....

If we choose to "be in the game",

we have to accept that we will not always win.

And sometimes life does seem to be unfair....