Today, I am grateful.....

so, here's why....

life delivers things you don't expect, sometimes.

usually, I find myself totally unprepared....

But,

I have learned

that when I've been blind-sided,

I can get out my toolkit of chaos busters.....

My Gratitude list is the best on I can think of when I have nothing else to say.....

so, here tis....

I am eternally grateful for coffee

I am grateful for roses.....

and sunflowers...

of course, the beach....and sun....and quiet....

I am so very, sincerely, honestly grateful for my sweetie....

and magnolias....

and waterlilies.....

hydrangeas....by the bucket full!!

pasta.....;-)

homegrown tomatoes.....

and, as Wallace says, "CHEESE!"....

and bread.....(I am noticing a pattern here....)

and different types of CHEESE!

from assorted countries.....(thank you Whole Foods)

and lastly (but never leastly, is that a word?)

Chocolate!

There, I feel much better now....

don't you?

now

I 

can 

smile.

Oh, my bloggy friends......Merry Christmas to you!

I wish I had that time and the energy to visit each and every 

blog that I cherish....

there are so many of you!

I am honored to have found many women 

who seem to see the world in ways 

that I admire and concur....

So many of you take wonderful images....

I have to admit,

by the time I get around to 

posting or reading blogs

I am weary of my camera.

I have found the iPhone to be the most wonderful of tools.....

This image quickly snapped with said iPhone....

as well as this one.....

When you go to a party and find the food is worth the 

trouble of taking a photo!

don't you love these cute little ornament place card holders?

you simply cannot allow me to sit this close to the cheese.....as you can plainly see....

Oh yes, 

I have friends.....

friends that cook!

and I mean COOK!

I am stuffed better than the turkey this year.

Gratitude.

much gratitude.....

I celebrated a 20 year anniversary this year that reminds me

I am fortunate beyond words....

Thank you all for your words...

I feel privileged to have shared your moments of joy

of fear....

of angst...

of creativity...

of concern...

of patriotism...

and 

most 

importantly,

Love.

of course the greatest of these is love....

thank you.

smiles.

This I believe...

(with apologies to NPR)

I believe that Thanksgiving is a time to 

affirm our core beliefs...

We, as Americans, have so much to be grateful for....

life...

liberty...

the pursuit of happiness....

all men created equal....

(someday, maybe, even women)

peace on our shores.....

and 

most 

importantly,

freedom

what a bold word....

such an "in your face assertion"...

WE

HAVE 

FREEDOM!

We are free to....

bitch

complain

cheer for our team

be lazy

cry

laugh

sob

groan

mock

protest

support

choose indifference

create

explore

think independently

show loyalty, or not

work

play

grow, or not

love, or not

wallow in misery,

offend

mend

bend

end

Yes,

we are a funny lot...

filled with angst

courage

fear

patriotism

We boldly go where no man has gone before....

We root root root for the underdog...

We hate injustice

We balk at orders

We resist categorization

We are similar

We are diverse

We love

We hate

We understand each other

We shun each other

We support others who seek freedom

We are Americans

We are so very fortunate to have this land 

at this time

Great potential have we...

if only we will look beyond our differences.

Please

today 

while you feast

look beyond your differences

seek common ground

be grateful

to 

be 

Americans

smiles...

Where did the time go....?

As I sat out on my back deck today,

in the sunshine,

wearing a sleeveless shirt,

face turning pink,

legs hopelessly pale...

I thought

"Where the heck did the summer go?"

I mean,

really!

Seems like just yesterday I was putting a load 

of sweaters away in the cedar chest....

And,

Holy Cow,

Halloween is over,

and Day light savings time

(does it really save anything?)

will be gone this weekend, right?

Well,

get ready...

here comes

the rain...

and the fog

and the snow...

But 

for 

today....

I have a 

pink face,

and a warm body...

smiles

Emotionally exhausted...the ranting begins....

Please

forgive 

the babble...

It has been a couple of weeks

of emotional stress.

So, all I can manage is the random thoughts 

that have been running through my mind....

-Why do parents use their children to inflict revenge on their "ex"?

-Why would a family of four think that a metal trivet is an appropriate gift for a couple,

who is paying for a wedding and a reception at a country club?

-Who asks their "ex" to dance, while their current spouse is standing right next to them?

-Why do the people that do most of the work rarely get any thanks? or even acknowledgement?

-What is the point of making a wedding the battlefield of your unresolved issues?

Do people ever 

grow up?

On the other hand,

I am so proud

to know professionals

who do their job well......really, very well.

People that unselfishly go beyond what they are paid to do.

The flowers were stunning,

The photographers were patient, and extremely professional.

The minister, co-ordinators and the organist were incredible.

The event manager, wait-staff and DJ's, at the club,  all did their job 

in a timely and smooth way.

Afterward, the wait-staff helped to load the flowers into my car,

so that they could be donated to an "Adult Daycare".

They even helped load the gifts.

I am so grateful for the people I know and love that are 

genuine, kind, generous and loving.

They are the people that went out of their way this week

to help me stay sane.

They brought me gardenias for my home.

They called to make sure I was not frantic.

They waited patiently for me to return calls.

This is real friendship!

I am blessed.

Today.....I am grateful

to live in this land....

to breathe this air....

to sit in this sunshine....

to hear children playing outside....

to be free....

smiles.

Holiday observations...

Do things seem slightly strange around your house?

Sounds that creep in from outside....Getting to you?

Maybe there are strange smells emanating from your kitchen.....

or even your fireplace...

What's it all about Alfie?

It is the Holidays....

it started way back in the early fall....

no more waiting until after Thanksgiving to think about 

the HOLIDAYS!

And so it is...

hurried shopping-check

crowds-check

snarled traffic-check

crazed parents-check

excited squealing children-check

satisfied smiling grandparents-check

Here are some things I have noticed;

neighbors, who normally don't speak - talking and laughing

children, who would normally leave the table in a flash - doing the dishes

smiles from people who wear a frown 11 1/2  months of the year

strange sitings in the neighborhood...

One of those strange sightings was a 

partially "dressed" Christmas tree, lying on the curb,

Apparently thrown out in haste.

Now, that's odd....it appeared nearly a week ago....

it is a fresh green tree, with a string or two of

colored lights. 

And yet, there it is,

waiting for the dump truck.

Well, for a person with an enquiring mind....

this is food for fodder.....

what brought on this fit of 

Tree tossing?

Where is the culprit?

Why?

Was he/she mad at the difficulty with which lights are strung?

Was there a fight?

Someone wanted white lights, and the stringer wanted colored?

Who won?

What are they doing about Christmas now?

Why weren't we all informed, so that we didn't have to guess?

As you can see.... the person with the enquiring mind is in a dilemma

Well,

I was sitting with my sweetie at the coffee shop when a neighbor

stopped by for a chat.

Seems the person who owned the tree in question, had 

brought it home, set it up in a stand,watered it, let the limbs relax,

and then,

started to string the lights....when all of a sudden

they noticed 

SPIDERS!

everywhere....coming out of the tree!

apparently, some spider momma had laid her eggs

earlier in the year, and went off to die,

leaving her eggs to incubate for the winter,

hoping to hatch in the spring.

But NO@!

Mr. Tree Farmer came along in the fall and 

chopped that tree down,

wrapped it up,

and took it to town 

for sale.....

Ever hear of such a thing?

not me....smiles...

Very popular in the 70's....

Remember Kahil Gibran?

He wrote The Prophet

which was particularly popular in the late 1970's.

He was a Lebanese-American 

who had a rather interesting life.

This is one of my favorite quotes...

Wake at dawn with a winged heart 

and give thanks for another day of loving

.- Kahlil Gibran

Doesn't that just paint the finest of all possible 

scenarios for you?

Is that the way you would always like to awaken?

me too...

Fortunately,... I did this morning.

Re-freshed and well rested

(don't hate me)

because my annual Christmas party is 

behind me now....

We had lots of fun..

we always do,

but as with most things

holiday, it required preparation 

weeks in advance.

We are blessed though...

friends that truly appreciate us,

and the effort we put into 

our holiday events.

I hope that your 

holidays are worth every bit of effort 

that you put into them.

and more.....

smiles!

And the word was...

Authenticity...

"(in existentialist philosophy) relating to or denoting

 an emotionally appropriate, significant, purposive,

 and responsible mode of human life."

That is where I wanted to go this year, 2010.

I endeavored to place myself in a "mode"

of authenticity....

As I interpreted it,

it meant; to be 

who I really am,

without pretense...

false behavior,

or two-faced communication.

It was surprisingly easy....

to be me...

(no, I won't break out in song, promise)

but it had an unexpected consequence...

I started to become aware of the lack

of authenticity in the world around me.

It hurt.

I didn't like it at all....

and,

I found

that 

I have little tolerance for it, anymore.

I believe that we tolerate behavior

in order to 

"get by"...

and then we become immune to it.....

we fail to recognize it for what it is.....

we begin to think of it as the norm.

Sorry,

but that sucks.

I hope

that I never become immune to lack of authenticity again.

Even though, being acutely aware of it has 

some unintended consequences too...

it narrows your playing field,

your playmates become fewer,

and you may not even be able to tolerate your own family much,

but 

you 

may 

find

that you 

find 

serenity.....

smiles.

It was all a dream....

Remember JR?

Well, that's just about what the idea of making all my 

Christmas gifts would be like....

High drama....

broken promises....

deception....

out right lies....

There isn't a chance in this here reality 

that I could actually make all those gifts,

much less sew them all.....

Nope...

Nada...

Neyt...

Oh Hell No...

Not happenin'

not even with a glue gun....

But 

a girl can dream can't she?

Sometime,

in a place long ago....

this girl thought she might attempt

"The Martha Perfection Cycle"

but alas...

no.

I have a few talents,

but a perfect Christmas is not in my repetoire.

No, 

Christmas comes with too much emotion,

hopes, dreams, illusions, delusions.....

I simply cannot pull it off.

So... 

I guess I will post some photos

 and pretend

the perfect Christmas event is in the works.

But please do not feel the least bit sorry for me...

I am finally coming to terms with the idea that 

a perfect holiday season is all in one's head.....

that perfection is in the mind of the willing...

that I can have that perfect holiday if I make up my mind

that whatever happens IS perfection...

Difficult you might say,

but is it?

Perhaps it is simply a matter of allowing others to be 

and act just the way they are...

and being in a state of mind, that is willing to accept 

imperfection as being a form of perfection

(ok, my head just about exploded on that one, don't ask for more)

I am willing at this point in time to accept

what comes my way.

Hopefully,

this feeling will last....

smiles.

Gratitude....again....

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.

 It turns what we have into enough,

 and more... 

It turns denial into acceptance, 

chaos to order, 

confusion to clarity. 

It can turn a meal into a feast, 

a house into a home, 

a stranger into a friend. 

Gratitude makes sense of our past, 

brings peace for today,

 and creates vision for tomorrow.

-Melody Beattie

I love this quote,

from one of my favorite authors.

I feel peaceful as I read the words.

Just reading these words

makes me feel as though 

everything is right with the world.

I hope that you feel the same way...

smiles..

"living right".....well, maybe....

That's what they say when blessed by some good fortune around here.....

"She must be livin' right...."

she's got a raise...

a boyfriend....

escaped a relationship...

found Jesus...

won the lottery....

got good grades....

made it home on bald tires...

made it to work on time....

got good hair...

good skin...

good kids...

Well, you get the picture....

Anyway, I don't know if I have been livin' right,

but I did run into a bit of good fortune.

while on one of my junkin trips,

I can across a bolt of fabric....

a very large bolt.

It was 54" wide,

and on a roll,

and weighed in over 10 pounds,

easily.

I sort of hmm'ed and haw'ed over it for a

few minutes....and then looked at the price.

$4.98

that's it.....

I wasn't sure if that meant per yard,

or what....

So, I took it up to the front of this store,

which by the way doesn't normally carry fabric,

and asked...

"That's it mam'"

"$4.98 is the price"

So, I bought it,

brought it home,

showed it to my sweetie,

who knows a thing or two about textiles...

and he just about 

"fell out"

(that's what they say around here when someone is 

going to faint)

He couldn't believe it.

He said that there must be 25 yards on the roll....

and then,

he looked closer,

(which he does with all fabric)

"It's cotton, and look at this!"

I look...

"It's Waverly!"

Holy Cow!

Now what to do with my find.....

I sat with it in my office for weeks....

I would think, 

ponder,

measure a bit,

and then,

I decided.

Curtains for the living room.

We have lived here for over 5 years,

and really had no need for curtains, as 

we look out to trees....lots of trees.

But curtains would be nice,

so that's what I did....

Here they are...

I must confess....

I cheated a bit...

I used a pair of curtain from IKEA

for the lining, and that gave the fabric some structure.

But I am pleased to have finished....
I must be livin right...
smiles

Out of the fog...

My life is so good...

sometimes, when I am very still...

quiet to the point of hearing my breath...

and feeling my heartbeat...

I simply cannot fathom

the immense goodness found in this world.

I know this is not necessarily a popular point of view...

it seems that pessism is a much more accepted outlook.

But

in my life...

I feel so blessed.

As with most impressions,

details are not particularly important.

But, let's just say that

the last couple of days have bought

a revelation...

a release...

and finally,

a renewal.

My experience has been that sometimes

we don't even know how bogged down we are until

we stick our heads out the window and

check out the scenery.

Once we know that there is a

different, freer, more beautiful option...

well,

taying "mucked up" in the

well.....

muck

is just not an option any longer.

So...

like the feeling you have when

 you are on board an aircraft...

ready for takeoff....

waiting for the fog to lift...

just a bit..

and then it happens...

you are speeding down the runway

faster and faster until

the nose of the aircraft lifts...

and soon you are up...

and momentarily...

you break the cloud layer.

Breaking out of the cloud layer

that's it.

That is what has happened to me.

New challenges..

New outlook...

New purpose...

New freedom...

Blessed...

that's what I am.

smiles.

A walk in the woods...

sometimes turns into something else....

sometimes...

it can alter your perception...

sometimes...

it can rock your world...

sometimes...

it simply makes you grateful....

this day did all that

for me.

I am in awe of live oaks.....

centuries...they live.

They see hundreds of us...

and are unfazed..

we are so small.

Grateful.