Late people....(soapbox time!)

have no reason to live....

substitute "late people"
for
"Short people"....

Late people got no reason
Late people got no reason
Late people got no reason
To live

They got late little hands
Late little eyes
They walk around
Tellin' great big late lies
They got late noses
And tiny late teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty late feet

Well, I don't want no late people
Don't want no late people
Don't want no late people
`Round here

With apologies to Mr. Randy Newman...

I have been hummin' his tune all morning long...

only I have bastardized it, by the substitution...

I am attempting to deal with some feelings of anger....

resentment.....

offense taken...

oh forget that, I'm pisssed...

and

 there is absolutely nothing I can do,

but let it go....

But,

while I am good and worked up,

let me ask you what you think.....

Does it bother you when people are perpetually late?

Business associates,

friends,

relatives,

acquaintances,

strangers,

people that you are doing a favor for?

What is that all about, Alfie?

Lack of manners?

ignorance?

disrespect?

control?

attitude?

bad habits?

what?

My parents are exceptional people,

they taught me to 

"Be on time"

period....

anything less was a 

complete disregard for the other person's feelings.

Of course,

one cannot always be on time....

things happen...

That is why we have phones,

(and manners)

so that when we are faced with being late,

we pick up the phone,

call the person we are meeting,

and start with an apology,

and then something of an explanation...

unless, of course this is the regular state of events for us

in which case,

 our friends will have known not to expect us,

our employers will have fired us,

our customers will have taken their business elsewhere.

You get the picture.

Now,

lest you think me a 

"hard-ass" when it comes to time tables....

Let me tell you,

I struggle, really struggle to keep my appointments.

I mess up....

I forget to update my calendar...

I have had a watch actually quit working...

I have had car trouble...

I have lost my cell phone....

and

I have (occasionally) lost track of what day it was...

I am not perfect.

No siree.....not me....

but, I understand the importance of being on time,

and make my apologies asap.

I once worked for an airline,

where, if you were late more than say

ONCE!

You were fired.

Period.

No exceptions....

AND

 wait for it..

this was before anyone,

(including Bill Gates)

had a cell phone.

Really, there was a time.

(the 1980's)

So, if something extraordinary happened to you,

you had better get yourself to a land line quickly,

so that you could let then know.

You cannot imagine what it costs an airline to cancel a 

flight because a crew member doesn't show.

(lots!)

But honestly,

do you have a person in your life that you can

count on to be late?

all the time?

Almost like an attention getting device,

 they seem to like the drama that 

goes along with arriving with a "big apology" 

and a creative 

reason for the delay?

OR 

do they simply show up with no explanation at all?

Acting as though you owed them the wait?

OR

do you get the impression that they use this 

"device" as a way to put you off your guard,

put you on the defensive,

make you so freaking angry that you will jump 

at any chance for a pleasant interaction?

Have you ever confronted this person?

What was the result?

Did they change?

Is that too much to expect?

Do you alter the time you tell them to meet you so 

that you don't have to wait so long?

How do you cope with this?

Any and all suggestions will be taken into consideration....

In the meantime,

the view from up here on the soapbox is 

satisfying....

smiles.

And the word was...

Authenticity...

"(in existentialist philosophy) relating to or denoting

 an emotionally appropriate, significant, purposive,

 and responsible mode of human life."

That is where I wanted to go this year, 2010.

I endeavored to place myself in a "mode"

of authenticity....

As I interpreted it,

it meant; to be 

who I really am,

without pretense...

false behavior,

or two-faced communication.

It was surprisingly easy....

to be me...

(no, I won't break out in song, promise)

but it had an unexpected consequence...

I started to become aware of the lack

of authenticity in the world around me.

It hurt.

I didn't like it at all....

and,

I found

that 

I have little tolerance for it, anymore.

I believe that we tolerate behavior

in order to 

"get by"...

and then we become immune to it.....

we fail to recognize it for what it is.....

we begin to think of it as the norm.

Sorry,

but that sucks.

I hope

that I never become immune to lack of authenticity again.

Even though, being acutely aware of it has 

some unintended consequences too...

it narrows your playing field,

your playmates become fewer,

and you may not even be able to tolerate your own family much,

but 

you 

may 

find

that you 

find 

serenity.....

smiles.

Authenticity Revisited.....

Or

"How my ego survived intact....."

mostly.

We arrived at the reunion early.....

as I had promised to 

be the impromptu 

"designated photographer".

(Which is funny in a way,

because there was a very good professional photographer

in our crowd, that would have put me to shame)

So.....

I started by shooting a general 

"record the setting" shot,

and was very pleased that the Owner/manager

of the Art Gallery/Co-op 

had all of the lights on 

HIGH!

I have many 

shots from later in the evening,

but I have not asked if it was ok

to use anyone's image,

so....

the only person I felt comfortable with 

a close up shot was 

my sweetie...

checking out the photographs from 

previous reunions...

maybe to see 

one of my ex's

(they don't all live in Texas,

though I wish they did....)

The gallery was the perfect location for this 

35th High School Reunion.

Comfortable, casual, 

relaxed....

it sort of set the tone for the evening.

I had made up my mind that if 

nothing else,

I could control my own attitude.

So....

I was determined to have a smile on my

face 90% of the time spent...

and 

I did just that.

I shot tons of images.

I talked to people I didn't even know in 

high school.

Or, people who I was so intimidated 

by, that I would have never approached, 

previously.

I was bold.

I asked if I could take their picture,

and then just started 

lining them up.....

some balked,

but were coerced by those 

around them.

Who are these old people?

I kept thinking.

Are they sure they are at the correct reunion?

I was stumped.

I didn't stop to eat,

and barely sipped a drink.

I was on a mission....

Well,

actually, shooting people is easier than 

actually making small talk.

I was nervous.

We left by 10 pm.

It was just gearing up to be 

a long night,

and I was tired.

So, 

home to the computer to 

upload the images.....

Good grief!

I looked as old as the rest!

Sweetie had nicely taken a photo of me with

several friends from elementary school.

One of which, I was in 1st grade with.

And do you know what?

Mostly,

everyone was as authentic,

as I could have wished for.

Some not.

But they are the same ones that 

were not in high school.

So be it.

I found that I had quite a few friends....

real friends.

We were actually quite glad to see each other,

and enjoyed catching up on children,

careers, and church (the 3 "C's")

I believe,

that my fun

had more to do with my attitude

than theirs....

Maybe you 

CAN 

wish yourself into a 

Good time!

smiles.....

smiles

Authenticity....

That's the word

that I chose 

at the beginning of the year

to concentrate on in 2010.

I am still thinking....

In fact,

it has been brought home to me 

on a regular basis that most 

of the people I seem to interact with

(bloggers excluded)

are far from authentic.

Is it fear?

Is it meanness?

Is it ignorance?

Is it miscommunication?

Really!

I want to know.

I want to understand.

And,

 if I am looking at it 

in a skewed manner,

well, 

I want to know that too....

Really.

Do I perceive the bloggers

I follow as being authentic

because they are?

or are they really good at 

"puttin on the show"?

Is the fear factor eliminated 

because they don't ever have 

to meet face to face?

Or is the internet just 

a place that one can be

 anyone you want to be?

Here is my dilemma.....

I spent some time with a few of my 

old friends recently.

It was weird.

They were fascinated by things that seemed 

so foreign to them, (and me)

and they didn't seem at all like the 

people I once knew.

I know there is room for growing up, but not developing

a whole new personality.

Then there is the situation

where one of my friends

came into a large amount of money.

I have seen very little of her since.

She has not simply excluded me, 

she seems to be avoiding everyone. 

What is that all about?

Now,

I am contemplating going to a 

35 yr reunion (high school)

I want to go,

at least I think I want to......

I was first informed about this 

reunion via the infamous

Facebook.

And the price for the event seemed doable.

So I said YES!

and paid my money.

Now I am watching how people are 

interacting.....

and honestly,

 I am a bit frightened,

bewildered,

confused,

apprehensive,

nervous,

and 

seriously folks,

I don't want to be disillusioned again.

So help me out if you have some experience here.

Do you find people to be authentic?

Do you go to reunions?

Have you been disappointed by 

old friends?

Does the high school clique thingy crop up at your reunions?

Finally,

Do you trust what people present to you,

and is that a vital part of liking them?

What do you think?

Now about that cat....

She must be the reason that the food in

that particular feeder

(we have many)

lasts longer.

She is a neighbors' pet

and loves to hunt by the trees out back.

smiles.

My word for 2010....

As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just

watch what they do.

-Andrew Carnegie

Isn't this good advice?

It has taken me a very long time to learn lessons of life.

I feel like an infant in the realm of human relations, sometimes.

I am exactly what my junior high teacher, Mr Sherrill said in my

yearbook,

"Constantly surprised by life,

and seemingly amused".

You might think,

in my 5th decade of life,

that I would be a bit more savvy.

But no...

I am constantly surprised....

and

amazingly,......still amused.

"Authentic"

is now my chosen work fo the year.

I have noticed that several, of the bloggers

I follow, have chosen words.

So, I thought I would, too.

Authentic: genuine, real.

Yes...

that fits in nicely with my outlook for this

year of 2010...

I want to be authentic in my acts and deeds...

and

I hope to choose my fellow travelers carefully,

by watching their actions,

rather than

their words.

Now...

you may say

"Ellen, how the heck are you going to judge whether

bloggers are authentic?"

Ha!

As those of you who do this daily,

whether reading or writing or simply perusing..

you can tell..

smiles.

Tastes from the past....

enjoyed today....

This morning brought a breakfast flooded with memories..

It all started with a visit.

Several days ago,

a sweet lady named Anne

came to see me...

she had a photographic need..

that I am in the process of filling.

But what she brought for me

is pertinent here.

She brought eggs.

Eggs from her farm,

her chickens,

her effort,

her loving care.

These eggs were purposely saved for Sunday morning.

As they are special.

And

when I took my first bite....

I remembered....

being a child,

waking up to the smell of bacon...

toast,

grits,

fried green tomatoes,

biscuits,

honey,

oh my!

These were REAL eggs.

I had forgotten what a real egg

tastes like.

How sad....

I didn't even know,

really...

that I had fallen into the same trap

 that we all have fallen into,

at one time or another.

The trap of convenience.

The neighborhood chain store,

that brings us everything we need.....

or does it?

Maybe not.

As these eggs reminded me,

Eggs have a taste.

They are not bland.

Not real eggs.

I think I will ask for the photographic bill

to be paid in eggs...

smiles.