Long Weekend of Sleep

Friday afternoon I was stuck at my boss’ new townhouse where they recently kicked out squatters. I was advising a cleaner on what needed to be done in this absolute filth hole. I did a little sweeping and such myself in order to not waste time. It was disgusting. I will never be clean again. One of the prior occupants is a crazy bastard who spent a long time on the phone with me. He told me women are only good for cooking and giving birth. I told him he was an idiot and if he had any women in his life that allowed him to act that way they were idiots too.  He asked me out to coffee. I hope to God I never have to meet him in person.

Friday night I went to a fancy fondue party. Delicious! One of my friends brought back a variety of delicious rums from Dominica.  Mine was cinnamon and I swear to you it tasted just like Red Hot Candies! That night I had a pretty bad seizure. I’m sure it had something to do with fucking around in that disgusting house full of pesticides earlier in the day but at least at this time I was with someone I trust and love.  I tried to sleep it off all Saturday morning. I went to brunch at 1 but still felt like crap. I ended up back at another friend’s place where I fell right back asleep with her cat in my lap. The cat love made my face swell up and my eyes turned bright red. Sexy. So I went home and passed out at 8:30pm.  I didn’t get up until 2pm the next day. So I went to my bar where I watched the Giants beat the Packers. That sucked. I also discovered one of the bartenders there is quite the douche-canoe and will not be privy to my conversation ever again.Cross me once and you get daggers for life.

After the game I had a fairly mild night which was followed by another 13 hours of sleeping. I had dreams about making tacos so I woke up and… made tacos. This taco making process of my dreams made the whole weekend worthwhile. I really love tacos.

So now it’s Monday morning. I’m back at work. I’m still really sore from the damn seizure. I’m pissed off. I’m pissed that my body is so damn weak that it feels the need to go into a dangerous fit that takes me days to recover. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I stop it? Why don’t we know the real cause? When will I ever be able to emotionally handle this crap? Can’t the lesson just be learned and then we can move on?

I’m going back to bed.

Why do I refuse to take care of myself?

That show I’ve been working on for the past couple months finally opened last weekend. We have seven more performances and so far the reviews have been pretty good.

Review 1
Review 2
Review 3
Review 4

I’m thrilled with how well everyone pulled together. It has been a great group of people that didn’t cause a huge amount of backstage drama. You know what bitches actors can be. I think for the most part nobody hates anybody else… yet. Overall I’m proud to have been a part of this show.

I let the stress of the show and other aspects of my personal life get the best of me. I probably did more than my share of grunt work and then tied that into going out to celebrate after rehearsals/shows plus a general lack of sleep. I have guilt and anxiety swimming through my veins thanks to this whole not knowing how to be single thing. With all that it wasn’t a huge surprise that I had two bad seizures last week.

I think the seizure/demons shook something loose in my brain because I’ve been a pretty emotional wreck since the last one. After the first I was okay because it had been ten weeks since my last grand mal seizure and other than being generally sore I seemed fine. The second one was worse. I was alone so I’m not sure what happened but I know I woke up on the floor in a puddle. I have some nasty cuts along my left knuckles and on my feet. My shoe closet is broken so my best guess is that I actually hit it apart while convulsing. I bit my tongue so bad that it started to turn black. That was the most disgusting of all.

Well, tonight I’m going to party like its 1999. That was a sleepy suggestion given to me this very morning. At the time I thought, “go back to sleep you crazy bastard” but now that I think it through it’s a good plan. I figure in 1999 I was 16 and I still had a curfew. So tonight I’m going to bed like a good girl and not sneaking out the balcony and into my boyfriend’s car. (Don’t worry mom, that only happened a couple times and obviously I never got knocked up or arrested.)

No wonder I have problems.

Demons and Parties

The Demon stopped in to say hello Sunday morning. I have no idea what time it was but I sat up in bed and started saying something along the lines of "Oh My God, Oh My God, Oh My God!" before the seizure hit and I fell off my bed to the floor. I don't remember a whole lot about this one. When I woke up I felt very panicked and I had to ask Sky (that would be the new boyfriend) if something happened. Then I cried. I was really thankful I wasn't alone this time. It's so much easier. For some reason I didn't feel all that horrible yesterday but holy crap today is painful. Every muscle seems to be pissed off at me. It's the sort of pain that any position you are in for more than five minutes makes you wish you had heavy duty drugs. Maybe it is always that way and I just don't remember because it's been six months since the last experience.

Let's switch to an upbeat subject shall we? A week from today (JUNE 2nd) I will be turning 26. I'm planning to have my party on Sunday in Central Park so hopefully it doesn't rain. It will be really nice to get all my friends together and enjoy the company. I fell like I don't see any of them nearly enough. Hey, want to come help me celebrate? I would love to see you too.

It's time to go back to bed now.

The Demon Returns

Sometime Saturday night or Sunday morning (I can't be sure.) the Demon returned and took over my body once again. I'm starting to think the demon has a crush on me. This time I was alone in bed and woke up because it was really hot in my apartment. My bed is right next to the radiator which is in front of the window. I'm not sure if I opened the window or turned on the fan but just like last time I was on my knees (now would be a bad time for a joke) on my bed when I lost control. The horrible ear buzzing started. I wish I could find a good way to describe that sound but I don't know what to compare it to. It starts small and rapidly gets louder and takes over. So I'm still on my knees and my head is turning as far left as possible on it's own while my arm forces it's way into a fist up by my face. I remember the muscle tension but I don't remember being in as much pain this time. It seemed to go faster. I was thinking, "Yes, I am having a seizure. I need to pass out. I just need to pass out and everything will be fine." Instead of "Please don't die. Please don't die." I felt my mouth foaming and my vision went out. Finally I felt my body collapse and I was unconscious.

When I woke up again it was early morning and I was confused. I couldn't go back to sleep because I was shaking but I didn't remember anything. My bed was wet. Slowly it creeps back in and as I become lucid I panic. I am not supposed to go to the hospital but I'm afraid to leave my bed. I want to call my mom but then I remember my whole family is about to get on a plane to fly home. I don't want to do that to her. I'm afraid to be alone. I don't why I was so scared. It doesn't make sense to me now but at the time I was wishing I had some place to go to feel safe. I called Casey really early in the morning and I felt bad about it. I just wanted to talk to someone. Telling someone something had happened was the only thing I could come up with. What if it happened again? When he got my message he called and then came over. With him there I was able to slowly calm down and I fell asleep. I was much better by the afternoon and emotionally fine. If he hadn't of been there I don't know what I would have done. Cried a lot more maybe? Thanks TLJ.The muscle pain went away quickly this time. It wasn't so bad.

So why did it happen? I never have an answer to this question. It seems to me that lack of sleep must have played a big part. I was up really early Saturday morning to fly back to New York. I didn't do much on Saturday but I wasn't able to get to sleep easily. It seems to me that the little amount of sleep is the only answer. If I hadn't been forced awake by extreme heat in my apartment I might not have had a seizure at all. I might have slept until noon on Sunday and everything would be peachy. I like this answer. I can live with this answer. I won't always get a full night of sleep but I know the importance of making it a priority now.

If it is a demon that is messing with me at least it is getting a little less destructive. If I hold a seance to speak to the demon should I vlog it for you? Maybe it just needs directions. Maybe I can bribe it with a virgin sacrifice or something. Unfortunately I think we might be together for life.

I've Got Your Answers - Part 2

Gary Asks:
Very personal, because I forgot the details. I know you have seizures, does the doctor say it is epilepsy? Do you take medicine for it? Does it require you to change what you eat and drink?
Have you always loved singing, performing? Background please!
:)


Dear Gary (aka: The Pottery God),

I have had seizures but thankfully not that frequently and ideally never again. My neurologist does not call it Epilepsy yet. I guess they are not 100% sure on that. I take medication for it twice a day but honestly I wonder if it works for me at all. I have a feeling my seizures are more related to sleep issues. I haven’t had to change what I eat because I tend to be fairly healthy most of the time anyway. The only thing that has changed is my alcohol consumption. I used to drink quite a bit. I’m only 25 you know. Two years ago I could easily drink two bottles of wine, go to bed at 4, and be at work at 8am. Now if I drink as much as three glasses I could get sick for an entire day. Not always, but sometimes. I used to love vodka tonics with lemon but I can’t drink that at all anymore. The medication makes me unable to handle it so I try to be more careful. The feeling of being drunk never really happens anymore. I go from being fine to sick in minutes. I believe this is because of the medication. It does say “Alcohol intensifies effect” on the bottle. I just can’t give up the wine and beer.

I have always loved singing and performing. My mom was always a tomboy growing up and I think she assumed I would be so they had me playing softball, basketball, and whatever else. I sucked at everything. Around that same time I was singing constantly. I had a little toy microphone and speaker. I had a mic plugged into my boom box. We had a karaoke machine. You couldn’t get me to shut up. At some point my mom asked if I would like taking voice lessons. I must have been 8 or 9. Maybe younger. I’m not good with time lines. I never stopped taking lessons until I graduated from college and couldn’t afford it any more. My very first voice teacher invited me to a showcase of a local kids performing group. I remember going with my mom (I never realized until just now that it was always my mom, hmmm) and she asked if I would like to start taking classes. This group had me performing for years at local theaters, malls, fairs, and whatever else they could come up with. I also did every community theater show I could get into. It made my entire childhood.

After writing this I ended up on the phone with my mom and thanked her for always being the supportive one who got me involved with all the things that make me happy. She said I should probably thank my Grandmother as well. So Thanks to both of them and thanks to Gary for helping to point out what should have been obvious.

Like Getting Hit By A Bus

I woke up at seven am yesterday. I felt odd. A little nauseous and shaky. I wasn't sure why but I couldn't get back to sleep. I watched some TV and did some stuff around the apartment. I made some rice in hopes it would ease my stomach. Nothing helped. All I really wanted was a couple more hours of real sleep but my head was spinning and I just couldn't settle down. While propped up on my knees at the foot of my bed I realized my head was forcing me to look as far left as possible and I couldn't stop it. I could feel my right arm was pointed in the other direction just above my head. I was trying so hard to look at it but I had no control. Suddenly I realize, I'm having a seizure. This is my third seizure ever and the other two were just a little over a year ago. As I'm sure you can assume, they are painful. I was still on my knees when I figured out what was happening and I tried to force myself down on the bed to ensure safety but I didn't have any control so luckily it happened on it's own. As I felt my left arm curl up against my body by my face I kept begging to pass out. I know what to expect now. First it's the rigid pain that feels like electricity jolting through my body followed by loss of sight and buzzing in my ears that blocks out all sound. Finally I pass out. This time around when I realized I was having a seizure and it was too late to move I kept begging for it to hurry up and be over. Several thoughts went through my head. I remember when the buzzing took over I kept thinking PASS OUT PASS OUT. I was worried I was peeing my bed. I felt something coming out of my mouth and thought I was vomiting or foaming. I didn't think about not being able to breathe at all. I have no idea what time it was. I have no idea how long it lasted.

Sometime later I woke up in bed and didn't remember a thing. I figured I had finally fallen back asleep but I felt even stranger than before. My body wasn't working right. My head was spinning. I was confused. I got in the shower and got dressed. Slowly I started to remember. I was still so out of it I wasn't sure what to do but I was alone and I was scared it would happen again. I spent a long time in my apartment unable to decide what I was supposed to do. Finally I realized I couldn't stay there alone and I better go to the emergency room. I walked out the front door, hailed a cab, and told him the name of the hospital I wanted to go to.

On the way I got a text from Casey saying something about that night. My head still wasn't working properly and I sent back something confusing and probably eerie "Im going tio thf hospital. anothes seizure." Being the wonderful person he is, he got in a cab and met me there. The story from this point on gets a little boring because I was in the ER for hours and nothing particularly amusing happened. I was happy to have my nurse boyfriend with me so he could explain stuff to me and hook me back up to my fluids. Finally I was discharged and made my way back to my apartment with Casey. I soon realized every single muscle in every part of my body hurts like I was hit by a bus and thrown several feet in the air before landing on concrete. I may be aching but I'm so happy. I'm happy I have such an incredible person to stay with me and remind me to ask for things like anxiety meds to help me sleep. I wasn't scared last night and I'm not scared today. I'm really lucky to have him around.

So that is what I did yesterday. I experienced seizure numero tres. Hope your day was a little more relaxing.

Rock Band

Dear Rock Band,

I hate you. Sure you provide endless entertainment for video game nerds around the world but shouldn't they be outside getting some sun on their pasty faces or God forbid, learning to play REAL instruments? Sure you are an amusing game. Lights and images all a flutter with cool tunes blasting. Even I enjoy looking for the first half hour and then the motion sickness comes. I have to look away or I will hurl on your cheap guitar with the colorful buttons designed to simplify the ever so complicated concept of strings.

I have to admit, for a little while I enjoy playing or singing along. Then I get angry. I get angry because you are a computer game and you are ruining the music for me. Not only do you force our pretend band that is intensely staring at a tv screen to play note for note second for second EXACTLY what you tell us to but you also make it so that the music is being overpowered by loud clicking of plastic buttons and drum beats. All the clicking makes my head spin. It seriously spins like a poltergeist took over. That is what you do to me Rock Band. That is exactly what you do.

Everybody else just loves you. "Aren't you fun! What a great game you are!" I know what you are trying to do. You are trying to take over the world. You are trying and damnit you are winning you bastard. Nobody seems to see it but me. The novelty of pretending to be a rock star doesn't wear off...it intensifies. They grow addicted to you. Suddenly you are the only thing anybody wants to do. Oh, your followers may think I'm exaggerating but I'm on to you. I'll let them play but I'll be watching. I'll be watching with a set of garden sheers on your power cord. If I see even the slightest hint of my friends turning into zombies, you will die. I will beat you to death with your own bass driven right through your drum set. Screw you Rock Band!

Kiss Off,

Knight

*Warning* Emotional Post

It was a year ago in March when I had my first seizure and in May I had my last seizure. You would think I would be over it, right? Well, obviously I'm not. It has become difficult for me to talk about this issue in particular because it still makes me emotional and I am embarrassed that I can't get past something so simple from so long ago because it really wasn't that big of a deal. I have somehow turned it into one.

A little background on what happened. I had a seizure alone in my room at night in March. I had no idea what happened. In the morning I went to the emergency room. They did some tests, said I had a seizure, and sent me home. I met a neurologist who did more tests, said he thought I was fine, and sent me home. In May I had another seizure at Casey's apartment, also in bed. He called an ambulance and I went to the ER. They put me on meds to keep me from having any more seizures. I will continue taking them twice a day for at least 3 years.

Now I should be fine. I take my medication and it has been almost a full year. Unfortunately I'm not. At first the meds were making me feel really weird and that made me paranoid. I didn't like that walking in a bubble feeling. The doctor said wait it out. It took awhile but I did adjust. The meds were nothing compared to my fear of falling asleep. For some reason I associate the feeling of falling asleep or just sleeping in general with the pain of having a seizure. Over the past year I have had countless nights of intense anxiety and panic. There has been a lot of sobbing and an irrational fear of dying. This usually happens when I'm trying to go to sleep.

I started to see a Neurological psychiatrist for a short while. This was when I wasn't having the bad nights as frequently but the anxiety wasn't gone. Talking to her made me mad and only seemed to make my nightly panic worse. She did give me sedatives that I tried not to take but on a couple occasions were a huge help. Every time I saw her I was upset all over again. I stopped going. I also couldn't really afford it because my insurance barely covered anything. I thought I was strong enough to get through it on my own.

For awhile there I was absolutely fine. I always take the meds. I'm able to sleep. I'm not disoriented at work. I'm no longer causing problems in my own life. Then out of nowhere it came back last night. I have no idea what happened or what could have triggered it. I have not been thinking about it, talking about it, or doing anything I think might cause it. Both Saturday and Sunday were very laid back days. Didn't do a whole lot. Ate normal foods. No drinking. For some reason when I tried falling asleep last night I started freaking out. I know when it is happening that it doesn't make sense. I know I'm being irrational. I can't help it. My heart wouldn't slow down. It was beating too fast and no matter what I did as far as breathing or focusing on meditating, it didn't work. I started to hyperventilate. For hours I repeated to myself "You're okay, you're not going to die." I felt like my brain was spinning in circles in my head. I caught myself holding my breath and clenching my jaw. I tried taking a sedative. Nothing was working and the last time I remember checking the clock was 5am. I must have finally fallen asleep.

I know I sound crazy. I know this makes people think I'm a hypochondriac. I just don't know if anyone understands how terrifying it is. It sounds like such a silly thing and yet it is tormenting me. I am doing this to myself and I can't stop. What can I do at this point? I guess keep living and keep hoping it goes away.

Like I said before, it is difficult to talk about this sort of thing. I find it very embarrassing and it makes me feel like a weak person with no self control. I don't want to talk to anyone in person about it anymore so I turn to my blog to get some things out in the open. Hope I didn't scare anyone away from reading in the future. I'll go back to the usual style of Knight Ramblings tomorrow.

My Imaginary Friend

When I was a little tiny thing, small enough to fit in the kitchen sink, I had an imaginary friend. I don't know where this friend came from, how long he was around, or what he and I did together but according to my family I spoke of him often. I wonder if this made my little brother jealous. Knowing my brother, probably not. The only thing I do remember is one day when my grandmother was washing my hair she asked where Sobo was. Yep, my friend's name was Sobo. I'm very creative. Anyway, I recall looking around and not seeing him so I said "He's gone." That's it. My entire memory consists of that brief moment of looking around for an imaginary friend that looks just like my brother and not seeing him so he must be gone. To this day my grandmother believes that imaginary friend is my spirit guide and still with me every step through life. A spirit guide is sort of a guardian angel. The more I think about the situation I think maybe I was looking for my brother and Sobo was my nickname for him. Maybe I never had an imaginary friend. I just talked to my brother whether or not he was there. OR maybe it's the Demon (see labels) I spoke of in previous posts! Whoa, I think I might be on to something. Maybe I've just been a loon since birth.

Happy All-hallows Eve Darlings!

Lets celebrate like the Druids did. We can build bonfires and wear dead animals! Or, we could go to a burlesque show and watch the Parodivas light candles and wear fur! Either one sounds perfect for the holiday. I'm currently at work in my costume that wasn't supposed to be a costume. I wore red and black to work and it just happened to look a little evil so drawing red devil horns and taping them to my headband seemed only natural.

I wish someone would tell me a good ghost story right now. That is what I need. Something haunting. Anything to make me forget I'm at the office. It would be amazing if I could turn on a scary movie while I filled out spreadsheets. One of my co-workers decorated his office so it looks like blood is dripping down the walls. Is it odd that I'm jealous?



Robert Goulet died yesterday. He needed a lung transplant but couldn't get one in time. I don't think enough people are donors. Goulet, if I died within the past couple weeks I would love nothing more than to give you my lungs. They work okay but might be a little small and girly for you. Goulet! Go to you tube and watch some of his stuff. In his younger days he was a really gorgeous man. Not that he wasn't yesterday but in his youth... *wiping away drool* oh yeah.

Back to the Holiday. I want to have a late night picnic in the park with candles and wine but I'm afraid the rats will give me diseases. Ghosts are funny. Rodents are not.

Well, have a good day kids. Try not to get poisoned.
Stabs and Bites!

Holiday Memories

I'm starting to get into the Halloween spirit today. Probably somewhat because it's a little dark out and the city skyline is looking rather gloomy out the office windows. Perfect.
Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. Not every year works out to be an amazing adventure of course but in general it's a fairly thrilling holiday. Last year I went to a very wild party in Jersey dressed as Patsy from AbFab. My friend and partner in crime came as Edina.

That would make me the character on the right. It was glorious.

I remember as a child I had a knack for telling terrifying stories. I would tell them to the other latchkey kids after school. What a jerk I was but I think they sort of loved it. We had nothing better to do then traumatize each other for life. That's how kids are. Come to think of it, I remember having a similar evening in college. Guess I don't grow out of things too easily.

Some of my favorite costumes over the years include my drugged up Marilyn complete with my own bottle of vodka and pills. For the record, making a bottle of vodka part of your costume is a bad idea if you don't intend to drink the whole thing. I also enjoy the time I was Satan which I understand doesn't sound very original but it was really just an extension of my own evil personality. I had my hair teased as big as possible and my skin was covered in Satan like scrawlings including 666 and negative Bible verse. It was probably really inappropriate. Yep, it definitely was. In high school my junior and senior year I threw a party with a couple other friends. We went all out decorating this huge house for two full days. A couple hundred people came the first year. We didn't expect that kind of turnout at all. It was fantastic!

This year I don't know. I'm seeing the Parodivas on Halloween so I don't need to dress up for that. I have two other costume parties that I don't know if I will attend or not. Spirits have been low this year. My original idea of being Pat Benetar isn't panning out and I have switched to this glorious idea of David Bowie (Ziggy Stardust era). Wouldn't that be fantastic? If I don't dress up this year I vow to do it next.

Happy Haunting Freaks!

Where I be From....

I already made my Labor Day plans. I have decided to visit my hometown. *Gasp* I know. This marks the first time I will have visited The Quad Cities without being told to by my mother. To add to the excitement, I'm bringing Casey. This should be interesting because although my mother has met a few of the people I have dated she probably never thought she would see them again and the rest of my family has not met anyone ever (that I can recall) and I am pretty sure they never expected to. Okay, I'm really just talking about my dad here.

Anyway, I'm a little confused because I have not lived in my hometown for almost 6 years. I was 18 when I left and I don't really know the life there anymore. I also didn't keep in much contact with any old friends that are still in the area. Casey, however, lived in the QC last summer and one of his best friends lives there. He might be entertaining me in my hometown. WTF? Honestly I'm a little excited. This has got to be amusing.

So I felt like in honor of these new plans I would share a little bit of info about where I grew up. When I say I'm from The Quad Cities (there are 5 cities) nobody knows what the hell I'm talking about. Especially when I say more specifically Moline, IL. So basically I grew up by the Mississippi boarder between Illinois and Iowa. It's the only place where the Mississippi River runs East - West instead of North - South. In all, the Quad cities has a population of about 400,000 people. Not all that small. Moline is home of the John Deere Tractor. I went to John Deere middle school but I I couldn't tell you crap about a tractor and I don't think I have ever been on one.

People ask me such odd things like:
Did you grow up on a farm?
How much land do your parents have?
Did you have any animals?

If you have ever spent more than 10 minutes with me you will find that I couldn't have possibly grown up on a farm. I'm terrified of animals. I know nothing about farm life in the least bit. My parents have a yard on a hill with trees. Do you refer to that as land? I don't have the good, wholesome, loving nature that you usually see from girls that grew up on a farm. I'm evil remember?

Politcal Garbage

This "woman" upsets me so much with the unbelievable bullshit she spreads around the country. I honestly think she is evil incarnate. Who is paying, sponsering, and/or supporting this beast? I feel sick.

Never a boring moment.

Well, the demon took over again Thursday morning. I was waking up to Casey's alarm and the next thing I know I'm paralyzed and listening to him tell me in a panicked voice that he was there and everything would be okay. Next thing I remember I'm sitting in his living room in my underwear and his wifebeater staring at his roommate and two paramedics that are asking me really hard questions like "What year is it?" Then I had my first ride in an ambulance! I remember very little. Anyway, I'm on drugs now and they make me very, very sleepy. Mmmmm druuuuugs.

I didn't get to meet my broker on Thursday so the place I was interested in viewing was already gone. When we went out on Friday I found this fantastic new place that is far too expensive and I MUST have it! I should find out today if I will be moving to 103 and Broadway. If all goes well parties will ensue immediately!

Friday night I saw Spacey Mooning which I thought was amazing. He is amazing. I also think Jason is amazing. He is the one who got the tickets and then sang a song or two at the Piano bar afterwards. Natalie met up with us after the show but I was only able to stay awake for a short time before the meds made me crash. I hate being a party pooper.

I had my hair cut and highlighted Saturday to make me feel like a human girl again. It worked a little. That was the birthday gift from mom. On Sunday Casey took me out to get my birthday gift from him. I am now the proud owner of a barbell in my left nipple! I must admit. I love it. He got a tongue piercing which looks really hot.
It was an interesting couple of days. Now I'm back to work. Woo hoo!

Happy-ish

Seeing a show tonight at the Duplex. Isn't everyone surprised? I'm pretty sure there are other theaters in Manhattan but how come I never hear about them anymore? (Exception for Access Theater, Doodle).

Next weekend I am going to San Antonio and I can't f'n wait for warm weather! This damn rain is not enjoyable. My parents and brother are flying in so we can vacation together for the weekend. With my brother in another state and making his own living my parents are no longer parental figures. It's like we are all buddies that meet up in some city, drink, and dine. Mostly Drink. I'm happy how things have panned out for us. It's probably easier when there are only four of you and the kids move far away.

Does anyone like Sushi? I really love sushi but I don't eat it nearly enough. Last night I went to Monster Sushi which I highly recommend to anyone interested. Is anyone interested? Lets make a sushi date!

I feel crazy right now. Crazy, today, means a mix of giddy and confused with a bit of dread. Just a touch. I blame the demon. Now that I think about it, the demon causes a lot of problems. I agree Doodle and Dar, the only cure must be Vodka plus cabaret production. Does vodka go with sushi?