A Girl Wrote It

I'm in a show. It opens next week. I'm nervous as hell.

A Girl Wrote It is back again after its critical success in 2011.  This year, Wide Eyed Productions has upped the ante by bringing together some of the most gifted emerging and established female playwrights being produced today. 

From first flings and early love to failing bonds, exploration, and erotic courtship, the five stories in this year’s A Girl Wrote It will present comedies and dramas that explore relationships and contemporary issues which press and spark our imaginations.

So they are letting me do this pretty kick-ass monologue that I'm really excited about. Perhaps there will be pictures. Perhaps video? Perhaps I will even share it with you. If you live around here you might even want to come see it.

Also, they did a little interview about me and posted it RIGHT HERE.  The editor was kind enough to soften me up a bit so I wouldn't offend anyone or burn bridges with my old school.  Funny. Anyhoodle, go take a gander at it.  I'll be here drinking my sangria and pretending to work while talking to myself. It's fun practicing my monologue at work. I list all the things I hate and my coworker thinks I've finally totally lost it. She is probably googling the number for an institution right now. See you all in group therapy.

xoxo
Knight

When it comes to updating this site of complete nonsense I have done a horribly shitty job.

So, let’s play catch up:

In my last post I declared my undying love for Moooooog35. He denied me publicly but privately I have received several perverse notes and constant rapping on my window at night.

I was cast in that play I auditioned for.  The show goes up in April. I shall be busy. Good times.

I wrote two posts ago that I was developing feelings for someone that I shouldn’t. I never imagined anyone would even blink twice at my writing that but it must have stirred up something because I started receiving guesses (and angry texts). I am indeed engaged to LL but that is not a forbidden love. Benji is an actual real life love of mine but I’m not keeping that a secret. He knows I’m crazy about him.  So basically nobody in blogland or reality came close to guessing. Thanks for trying?

Anyway, I said “I’ll just bottle it up until it goes away… or until I develop feelings even more obscure than these.” 

Turns out I developed feelings more obscure. Would you expect anything less from me? Some days I even impress myself with my ridiculousness.  Seriously though, when you meet a gorgeous person that finally gives your insanity a run for its money, how can you not pursue that?

What else have I neglected to mention in the past month? I did a fundraiser for the show I mentioned. Here are some photos:

 In other news, I've been plotting to take over the world. 

Soon.

Catching up with Online Therapy and Baked Sarcasm

I know I haven’t been around much but I don’t know what to say. I guess I’ll just use this as my therapy lounge per usual and throw out thoughts as they come to me.

I auditioned for a show last night. It was my first straight play audition in quite some time. I didn’t realize just how much I missed acting. I really hope I get to be a part of it. I'll let you know how that pans out. Creating a character and working from the actors side of the stage is something that my whole world used to revolve around. How did I get so distracted from something I loved that much?

It’s birthday week. Not my birthday week. Apparently it’s the birthday week of almost everyone I know though.  Okay, only nine close friends, three family members, and four of my eight coworkers.  The extent of my gift giving will probably be the cookies I just sent to my Dad. 

I really love the Bitter Baking Company.  

Here, use this link and get a discount.

In other news, I think I started developing feelings for someone that I shouldn’t. That’s awkward. Don’t worry, I’ll never tell. I won’t tell them and I won’t tell you. I’ll just bottle it up until it goes away… or until I develop feelings even more obscure than these. Oh life, how you suck.

I'm going to go on my brunch break.

http://white-liars.com

For those of you that have been following that web series I have a cameo in, my episode went live today.
Watch at your own risk.

Love, Knight

White Liars Episode Two

For anyone that is interested in following...

White Liars Episode Two is UP.




I'm in the next one. It will be up on July 11th.

Today I was just invited to do a cameo in another web series filming late August. It will be all kinds of awesome... I hope.

Another Day in the Knight Life

Saturday was a fun day. I woke up in my closet of an apartment at 8am and prepared for a day I knew just might kill me. I packed my outfits and props for the day. (That makes me sound like an escort but alas it wasn’t that kind of day.) I took a couple chugs of leftover bloody mary in a jug. Then I headed for the M60 Bus that carries me through Manhattan and over to Queens.

In Queens I met up with the director of the show I’ve been assistant directing for the past couple of months. We talked about her cats. Then we prepared for our preview showing of The Trojan Women which was held outside in the rain at the Beer Garden. We watched as our darling actors sat out in that miserable weather protected by the burlap burkas. Poor babies. Then we ate kielbasa while chugging beer for a few hours.

When that fun was over four of us took the props and trash back to cat lady director’s house where I styled her fire red hair into a hot 40’s look. We drank screwdrivers and talked about… cats. Oh, and my engagement to one of them. (I only do it to make the other jealous.) Did I mention that we are four of the hottest females ever? Well, the three of them are at least. It’s ridiculous. I would show you pictures but I don’t have consent. Seriously hot AND all of us are single.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, so I changed into a hot black dress and ran off to my friend’s birthday dinner in Hell’s Kitchen. I’m an idiot so I was late. Then we went to a gay bar we have frequented way too much over the years. I think that is what we did. I’m a little fuzzy at this point. They agreed to come with me to another bar even further downtown to watch the premier of the web series I have a cameo in. So we got in a cab.

We are now in a bar that I used to work near so I say hello to all my buddies that are working and proceed to the back room where they are about to screen the first three episodes of WHITE LIARS. Only episode one is live. They are coming out every other Monday and I’m in three so watch for it! I have to admit, episode three is the best and not just because I’m giving someone a lap dance in it.

EPISODE ONE


After the screening I think I got in a biting fight with someone because my arms are all bruised. I was just being playful. Then a friend of mine got a little too drunk and when some asshole called him a “fat f&$#” he decided to discuss the matter further outside. I thought this was embarrassing because the drunken ass who said the wrong thing was now surrounded by all my guy friends including the manager telling him he needed to leave immediately. I really hope this doesn’t become a theme in my life. The bar fight was only interesting once.

It probably isn’t too surprising that I didn’t feel fantastic on Sunday morning. All in a day though. All in a day.

Learning What?

When I was attending the musical theater academy that shall not be named they made us take a class called VPS. That is short for Voice Production and Speech. The idea was to teach as all about things like vowel placement, tone quality, and breath control. It helped all of us who refused to believe we have accents finally acknowledge what we were doing differently. I understand why they originally thought this class would be beneficial but I can't justify three full semesters of it.

In semester one we had a teacher with a mullet who made us all sit in front of mirrors trying to talk with corks in our mouths. For those of you who just misread that, I said CORKS. I don't really remember what the point was supposed to be. I think a lot of people tend to speak without opening their mouths properly. Regardless, it was a little odd.

Semester two was a real trip. I had a teacher with a bowl cut (Bad hair is a necessity when teaching voice technique.) who would make us all lie on the floor and put ourselves in uncomfortable positions until our tired muscles started to tremor. The goal was seriously the trembling. It was incredibly awkward because it looked like a room full of people orgasming and occasionally the teacher would come over and try to help you. Please explain to me what that could possibly have to do with your voice? Is it for relaxation?

Finally we made it to our third semester and I don't have any memory of that teacher at all. Probably because we were so busy playing with masks and crawling around on the floor. I'm not kidding. I remember some of the masks were cats or just the regular zoro type eye cover but for some reason I thought it would be fun to get a clear glossy mask with the eyes painted in a drag queen sort of way. It doesn't sound too bad but when I put it on it was creepy as hell. One day the teacher asked us to put on our masks and start moving around the room making noise. This escalated into using levels which meant getting on the floor, crawling, and climbing up on boxes. Finally the teacher announces we are animals. Whatever animal came to mind in the moment. We had tigers, bears, birds, and elephants. What was I? Of all the animals I could have chosen I became a damn snake. I don't mind snakes but when you are squirming around on the floor trying to "interact with the other animals" it can really bruise your ribs. I had to keep chasing everyone around because they were afraid of me. I think this moment in time might have damaged me for life. Now tell me, WHAT does that have to do with voice production and speech? What? It was such a pointless, useless class and I spent several dollars on that mask. That was weed money! Back then. Not to mention thousands on the class. That school was such a scam. I wonder if they would hire me as a VPS teacher?

I miss acting.

I miss getting excited about a character and examining a script knowing you will be telling the story. I love the preparation and rehearsal required to build relationships with other characters and to captivate the audience. Working with another actor and a director going beat by beat to perfect the scene is one of the best ways I can imagine spending my time. I miss even the smallest things like stage markers and finding the light. I really wanted this to be my life but somehow I got sidetracked by money. I was terrified of not paying rent or eating and being on a tour for the rest of my life. I didn't believe in myself. I didn't think I would ever be proud of myself. I didn't think I would be able to take care of myself.

When I started working at the company where I am currently employed it was part time. Only fifteen hours a week so maybe I could still audition. It didn't come close to paying rent of course. I was picking up other random jobs at theaters and promotional modeling gigs. I wasn't acting but I was gal Friday to a lot of places. It got old. I was offered more hours at my day job and I happily took them for the money. The woman I was working with got ill and had to leave on disability. I got her job. Next thing you know I keep getting promoted and I'm in a totally new department working long hours and wondering what happened to my life. I'm completely dependent on the security and afraid to pursue what I really want. I don't even call myself an actor anymore.

I don't know how this turned into a dear diary post. I wanted to write and the stream of conscious brought me here. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled that I have had a few shows recently and singing is really my love but I can't help feeling like I'm missing out on something I once promised myself.

I've Got Your Answers - Part 2

Gary Asks:
Very personal, because I forgot the details. I know you have seizures, does the doctor say it is epilepsy? Do you take medicine for it? Does it require you to change what you eat and drink?
Have you always loved singing, performing? Background please!
:)


Dear Gary (aka: The Pottery God),

I have had seizures but thankfully not that frequently and ideally never again. My neurologist does not call it Epilepsy yet. I guess they are not 100% sure on that. I take medication for it twice a day but honestly I wonder if it works for me at all. I have a feeling my seizures are more related to sleep issues. I haven’t had to change what I eat because I tend to be fairly healthy most of the time anyway. The only thing that has changed is my alcohol consumption. I used to drink quite a bit. I’m only 25 you know. Two years ago I could easily drink two bottles of wine, go to bed at 4, and be at work at 8am. Now if I drink as much as three glasses I could get sick for an entire day. Not always, but sometimes. I used to love vodka tonics with lemon but I can’t drink that at all anymore. The medication makes me unable to handle it so I try to be more careful. The feeling of being drunk never really happens anymore. I go from being fine to sick in minutes. I believe this is because of the medication. It does say “Alcohol intensifies effect” on the bottle. I just can’t give up the wine and beer.

I have always loved singing and performing. My mom was always a tomboy growing up and I think she assumed I would be so they had me playing softball, basketball, and whatever else. I sucked at everything. Around that same time I was singing constantly. I had a little toy microphone and speaker. I had a mic plugged into my boom box. We had a karaoke machine. You couldn’t get me to shut up. At some point my mom asked if I would like taking voice lessons. I must have been 8 or 9. Maybe younger. I’m not good with time lines. I never stopped taking lessons until I graduated from college and couldn’t afford it any more. My very first voice teacher invited me to a showcase of a local kids performing group. I remember going with my mom (I never realized until just now that it was always my mom, hmmm) and she asked if I would like to start taking classes. This group had me performing for years at local theaters, malls, fairs, and whatever else they could come up with. I also did every community theater show I could get into. It made my entire childhood.

After writing this I ended up on the phone with my mom and thanked her for always being the supportive one who got me involved with all the things that make me happy. She said I should probably thank my Grandmother as well. So Thanks to both of them and thanks to Gary for helping to point out what should have been obvious.

Long As God Can Grow It, My HAIR!

Holy love making musical gloriousness my friends! Last night I saw the musical HAIR at the Public Theatre in Central Park. It was incredible! I left with such a buzz from the excitement I was wondering if they somehow slipped drugs to the audience.

I'm a theatre snob so every time the directing seems a little off or the character isn't totally there I take notice and ruin the moment for myself but I have to tell you, this story is so damn good you love it no matter what.

Let me tell you the set up of the stage. The Public Theatre is outside and is fairly small. The stage is level with the first row of seats making the whole show feel very intimate. All you see on stage as far as a set goes is grass and at the back a little paint splattered raised section for the band. The cast spent a lot of time running around the audience and getting you involved. At the end it turned into a giant dance party. It was one of those moments where my head spins in circles and I keep saying "Is this really happening?" Only in New York!

Before the show began the director gave a speech saying how this is the 40th Anniversary of Hair and so much has changed since the original production. He went on to compare the war we are in now to the war we were in then and gee do they sound similar. It certainly brings a whole new perspective to the show. The draft may be gone but we are still watching children die for us. That isn't completely what the show is about though. It's about bohemian life, sexual revolution, poverty, racism, religion, environmentalism, politics, and the youth of America. Just to name a few.

I truly love this show in every way. I think it can be summed up pretty well in the following quote:

"...be free, no guilt, be whoever you are, do whatever you want, just as long as you don't hurt anyone."

Why can't we all live by that? Why do we get class, skin color, religion, and various other crap in the way? I better not get started on that topic. I will leave you with a video of one of my favorite bits from the show. This is from the movie version.

I am who I am.

We will call today's segment, Reasons Why I Turned Out This Way:

* After day two on the road on tour we stopped at a disgusting hotel in Little Rock Arkansas. It was in a scary neighborhood and really dirty in general. The girl playing the White Rabbit role started crying and made herself sick. She threatened to quit the show. Across from her hotel room a white rabbit was tied to a traffic cone with a rope. What does it all mean?

* I worked briefly at Cafe Mozart on the Upper West Side. It was across the street from my student housing. The owner stopped me in the street one day and offered me a job as a hostess. Shortly after I accepted I learned that he was running an escort service. He kept calling and trying to get me to meet him at the new unopened restaurant location. I never went back in to work after that call.

* One time in high school I was lounging at my house on Sunday mourning in my smeared makeup, a long ugly see through sleep-shirt, and rat nest hair. My boyfriend and other male friend showed up at the front door and my dad let them in without telling me. So they walked up the stairs to find me a gross mess. I had never been so mortified in my life. I hid my head under my arms and screamed. I have not cared about such things ever since. Thanks dad.

*When I lived with A we lived in a building with a bad mouse infestation. They gave us sticky traps because the mice ate the peanut butter off the real traps and survived. One day a mouse got caught in the trap and started squealing. We both cried. She cried because she felt bad for it. I cried because it wouldn't die and I couldn't make myself go near it. I ran downstairs and asked the concierge to help us. He laughed at us as he put the sticky tray and mouse in a plastic bag, beat it against the wall, and then tossed it down the garbage chute.

*I once did a show based on a grim fairy tail. I sewed a dress made entirely of rags and then covered it in mud and twigs. This was my costume. We performed the show in a wing of a Villa and before the show started we were instructed to run around the woods and swing from trees outside. One of those days a wedding reception was being held in the same villa and we still popped out of the trees and yelled in tongues at anyone going past. They thought it was great and had no idea what was going on but they still did the chicken dance with us. Can you imagine twelve dirt covered kids that only grunted showing up to your wedding?

*When I was young and constantly going to sleepovers we always snuck out in the middle of the night to dance in the graveyard as long as there was one within walking distance. We were disturbed kids.

*I used to sneak into the cupboards and get finger fulls of Crisco. Mmmmm

*I once had an acting job in the local cemetery. I was acting the part of a fifteen year old girl that died working illegally in the candy factory. She was decapitated in the elevator. I told her story while standing on her grave.

The Bad Director

Some rainy day a few years back I was approached by a director while shopping around Virgin Records. He approached with a classic line asking me if I'm an actress. I said I was currently attending school at a musical theater academy uptown. He informed me that he was working on a new film that I looked the part for and would like to meet me at a later time to discuss the details if I was interested. At the time I wasn't familiar with his work so he gave me his card and told me to look at some of his films and give him a call if I would be interested. Honestly, at this point I was a little flattered but more or less just assuming it was all bull. Then he left because his wife and child were downstairs waiting for him.

So I figure, what is the harm in googling the guy and checking out some of his films? I was out with some of my friends at the time and they were nice enough to humor me in all of this. We found out that he had done a lot of films so I rented a few. They were good. A little twisted maybe but so am I so I figure, I'm giving the guy a call. He wanted to meet that night a a bistro I was very familiar with. I informed my friends of this and they offered to be my backup just in case he drugged me or something.

I met him at the 24 hour bistro. My friends came in after me and sat another table. We talked for a bit about his career, what he was currently working on. He asked me about what acting I had done. He showed me papers for a film festival he needed to attend the next week because they were honoring him. He came prepared with all sorts of proof of what he was working on and what an impressive man he was. I was still hesitant but interested.

It was requested that we go for a walk and continue talking. As we walked he started talking about the people he knew like Robert Downey Jr. and Heather Graham. He talked about how shy Robert was when they met and he taught him how to approach women. He was Robert's mentor. He talked about sexual stuff. I'm thinking, this guy is a little off but, nothing shocks me much anymore. He was a really nice guy. He let me joke with him without getting pretentious and offended. This man was almost sixty and very overweight. He had to walk with his head tilted up because his asthma was so bad. He taught me some karate moves so that I could defend myself by knocking someone in the windpipe. He was just showing off. I went home.

He proceeded to call me a couple days later. We talked about what he was working on. He would tell me random stories that progressively got more disturbing. He said to let him know when I was available for coffee again so I could look at the script he was working on. Then he started calling every day. He said if I ever ran into him on the street and he was with someone that he had a very jealous wife and another girlfriend that he keeps an apartment for so he might not acknowledge me. Another story was the time he met Heather Graham. She came into the hotel room they were holding an audition at. She asked to use the bathroom and he walked in on her and proceeded to ...well... it was a shocking story. Finally he told me about the time he killed a guy that tried to mug him in central park.

Alright, this guy is nuts. He is out of his mind but for some reason he is so amusing and honestly, he never made a pass at me. He wasn't even trying to meet me anymore. It was like he was calling just to tell me stories. Then he wanted to know if I would go to that film festival he had told me about. We would only be gone for the weekend. Uh.... no.... I don't want to do that.

Eventually I did something that pissed him off. He was trying to convince me to come to the festival and my phone died. When I was able to plug it in again I had this very angry message saying I was an immature little bitch and if I didn't want to speak to him I need not rudely hang up. Whoa, he had never flared up in anger like that before. I responded directly to his voice mail and explained that I had not intended to hang up. I did NOT want to be on this persons bad side. Then I never answered his calls again.

Fast forward a few years. My friend and roommate of four years that had been with me at the Virgin Store and at the bistro that night was working at her fancy restaurant serving job when in walks the director with a young hopeful girl. I'm sure she just shook her head and thought poor thing. He then began coming in all the time. Always with a different woman. Frequently taking them up to his hotel room next door. Everyone working at that restaurant knew him and knew what he was doing. Sadly I was the one on the other side of the table once. I've been aware for years of what a scary man he is but today I found this article detailing a lot of the things he had told me. He is an old perverted womanizer and yet I really enjoy that I have this story to share. So thanks James. (I did not write his full name in this story for obvious reasons.)

Weekend Overview

Too much happening. No time to blog. Or, I'm just too lazy to make time.

Friday night I went uptown to Casey's apt. I brought the makings for rice krispie treats and because the grocery store had the brilliant foresight to place generic marshmallows next to Chimay, I brought a bottle of that as well. Then we sat around with Billy and Mark eating Chinese food and watching... well... it would be inappropriate to say what we were watching.

Saturday night was filled with ex-coworkers, one of my favorite dive bars, and the announcement that StumpsAround did an AMAZING job on the GMATS. Good work lady!

I woke up yesterday to a text informing me Casey was called into work early. That sucks. It's the guys freakin birthday and they call him in to a twelve hour shift. Sorry babe. So instead of seeing him I went to brunch with A. She invited me to see the hipster version of Much Ado About Nothing. It sounds like it would be horrible, but honestly it was pretty funny. When you think about it, this modernization is really obvious. Some of the actors were really exciting to watch. They had creative ideas that kept you guessing. Some of it was just silly nonsense that distracted you from the story. At intermission I got a text from Doodle offering me a free ticket to In the Heights which recently moved to Broadway. Of course I went. I wasn't sure if I was going to like this show but it is really different from what I was expecting. It's about living in Washington Heights and the main character is a bodega worker from the Dominican Republic that raps his songs. The music was great but the story line was odd. I didn't care though. I got too distracted by the nut next to me that started sobbing and then picking her nose.

So I didn't get a chance to write over the weekend but could you do me a favor please? Could you help end global violence against women? I know that sounds like a lot but just being aware helps.

Against my better Judgement

Recently Gwen mentioned on her blog that it was not a good idea to post when you have been drinking. I would usually agree but for some reason I am ignoring that advice right now. I thought it only fair since I spoke of Thursday night to mention what a wonderful time I had on both Friday and Saturday as well.
Friday night I went to a catered apartment party with my wonderful/ fantastic boyfriend and two of our close friends. I think we all had a good time. It was an interesting crowd with delicious food and drink. I truly love the company of all of these people so we were bound to have a good night out.
Saturday night I saw August: Osage County with Jason. You know what... that play is damn amazing. We were both a little confused throughout the first scene but from then on you find yourself fully captivated for three hours. I don't want to ruin it for anybody but if you have the chance, see it. It's a beautiful script that I hope to read in the near future and the acting was amazing. So many other things would be worth mentioning but I won't bother here. After the play we met William at the Ritz for drinks. I didn't drink that much until I realized the bartender was an old AMDA friend and he offered a huge shot which I stupidly took before getting in a cab and deciding to blog. Brilliant. Anyway, it was a wonderful evening and I would still be out if I didn't have such a big day planned tomorrow. I hope everyone is having a lovely weekend. I'm off to bed.

Dr. McIncest

I know this is very childish but I can't help myself. Today I ran across an article about one of the new stars on Grey's Anatomy and her, um, interesting career launch. I don't watch this show anymore but even if you have no interest in the series you might find this video humorous.



That's acting! Or, maybe it's not. Oh, the things we do for our art.

50 Blog Posts!

Today is my 50th post. For some reason I decided that today I would like to answer the questions from Inside the Actors Studio. James Lipton asks the same 10 questions to each person he interviews on the show. Mind you, my answers could change by tomorrow but for now this is what I feel:
1. What is your favorite word? Perspective ... Doodle was using it a lot awhile ago and I'm stealing it. I find this word can be used to help you with or through anything.
2. What is your least favorite word? Twiddle ... it just creeps me out
3. What turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Honestly so many things do and I'm lucky that way but new/clever ideas get me excited and that can be regarding anything.
4. What turns you off? Close-Mindedness These people are hopeless.
5. What sound or noise do you love? A heavy downpour with a far off thunderstorm.
6. What sound or noise do you hate? People whistling in public places. I'll smack you!
7. What is your favorite curse word? Damn in any way you can find to use it. It feels good.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Psychiatry. Good thing I don't because I could cause a lot of damage.
9. What profession would you not like to do? Being a flight attendant would suck. You are always in a small confined place with bitching, ill, and/or dirty people. Hmm... sounds like my office.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? A nod in the direction of the open bar would suffice. See you all there!

Doing Stuff!

One baby step in the right direction this past week. On Thursday I went to my first actual voice lesson in years. It was fantastic! I love the way this guy teaches and when it was done I felt wonderful. This is my therapy. It's amazing the change one little lesson can make.
On another note, last night Ava brought me along to a theater that does weekly cold readings of submitted pieces in a competitive style. It was incredibly exciting and full of intelligent creative people. Drinking at the bar afterwards I had the chance to really converse with a few of the actors and writers. I can't tell you how happy it made me to be surrounded with people like this again. It has been far too long since I was exposed to this world. I could cry thinking about it. I hope I can stay on this path for a little while. Baby steps.