Showing posts with label My Childhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My Childhood. Show all posts

Friday, December 9, 2011

Childhood Perceptions

Yesterday I received a strange message from a girl I went to elementary school with. I'm pretty sure I only knew her two or three years. I wouldn't really say that we were ever friends but I always thought she was very nice (albeit painfully shy) and when she found me on Facebook I was glad to accept and see where she went in life.  Then I was surprised to get this message.

Ok.. so... I'm sitting here and having one of my many sentimental reflective moments. And at times it takes me back to the time I lived in Illinois. A time that is dear to me... I never wanted to move to Ohio nor do I ever want to move back to Ohio (I'm currently living in Georgia) even tho all my family lives in either Ohio or Illinois. But that is beside the point. I got to thinking about why certain things stick in our memories better than others for some reason. For instance, I have ALWAYS remembered something mean that Stephen said to me in sixth grade (do you remember him?) And then I got to thinking about you... you always hung with the "cool" crowd yet you were never mean. I never forgot that about you. But I have to say that I always saw you as being the one to settle down in the city you grew up in and being married with 2.5 children and a white picket fence, you know what I mean? So I got to wondering, what brought you to New York? And are you happy? And if you are still reading this email than obviously I've kept your attention for this long so I do hope that you will respond and I hope that you arent totally caught off guard with this random email. I used to be pretty shy but in my old age (we are almost 30!!) I've realized that it doesnt really matter what you do, you only live once, right?!


What a sweet surprise, right? I'm completely shocked by her childhood perceptions of what those years were like and how they differ from mine. For instance, the Stephen she refers to was a very shy guy himself. I think he had an extremely difficult childhood. I recall him being very nice and awkward. I wonder what he could have possibly said that bothered her for the next twenty years?

I don't really recall being a part of a "cool group". I guess I didn't realize we had a cool group because we didn't have a whole lot of kids in the class. I was also pretty insecure myself. Now I'm wondering who was involved in this group and how it came to be. I'm so incredibly flattered that she thought of me as nice. I would like to think I was a nice kid. I hope I never said anything that tormented another child for twenty years. I know things were said to me but I've forgiven those people because children are stupid and that stuff happens. It's a learning process on how to grow into a decent human.

What on EARTH gave this girl the idea that I would be a mommy in a little city with white fences? What could I possibly have done to ever put that in her head? Truth be told, I think every other girl I knew from those years did exactly that. Maybe I was a follower? Gross. I'm so glad to be me.

I wonder, since I have the almighty Facebook at hand, if I should pay it forward? Perhaps I should write a message to some other random kid from that class with my perception of those years we knew each other. What do you think? How would you feel about being on the receiving end of such an out of the blue memory sharing moment?

Friday, November 21, 2008

I've Got Your Answers - Part Who The Hell Can Remember

cat asks:
Jay kinda took my question. I would love to read the story of what brought you to N.Y.

What took you into singing and acting. Where are you from? How long have you lived in N.Y.

Did you have friends that brought you there?

I think you have a good and inspiring story too tell.

Dear Cat,
You can read my answer to Jay’s question in PART 2. I know switching screens is a pain in the ass sometimes so the brief version is, I always wanted to live in a big city and when the opportunity came to attend school in New York I moved out here at 18. It’s been seven years now. I’ve been singing and acting all my life and that is really why I came to New York. I wrote about that in the answer to a question as well but now things are starting to blur together. When I moved out here I didn’t know a single person in the city. Now I have a whole urban family of friends that I’ve built over time. I grew up in Illinois. I spent my entire childhood in The Quad Cities. Not a small town but not a big city. Not big enough for me. I don’t know that my story is inspiring. I was at a time in my life where things were supposed to change and I knew what I wanted so I did it. I made the right choice.

Michael Knight Rambo asks:
Why is my pee black?
Back when it was bright green it used to be fine, but now when it gets rusty red/brown or darker, it really hurts.
It feels as if I have chomping pitbulls with poisonous porcupine quills that are on fire passing through my urethra.
I'm too embarrassed to see my doctor.
Can you help?

Dear Michael Knight Rambo,
Have you been drinking motor oil? If so you should probably stop and you might go back to normal. You also might have leprosy. For safety’s sake I suggest you double bag your favorite parts to ensure you don’t infect others and more importantly, so that nothing falls off. I suggest a strict diet of nothing. No water or food. You will urinate less and eventually the burning will stop because you will be deceased.

minijonb
asks:
What person from your past would least like to see walking down the street... and why?

And the flip side... who do you really want to catch up with that you haven't seen in ages?

Dear Minijonb,
There are quite a few people I never want to run into again. One would be my old roommate from France. She was really annoying and I was so thrilled the day we moved away from her horrible voice. I hope I never run into my ex that was a millionaire. That money gives him the power to do whatever he wants and he was so manipulative and angry towards me in the end. The thought of him makes me a little nauseous.
I can think of a few people I would really like to catch up with that I have not seen in a few years but it’s harder to come up with someone I haven’t seen in ages. *Insert ten minute pause of thinking.* Okay, I got one! One of my vocal coaches I had through junior high and high school was a really wonderful woman and I find myself thinking of her every now and then. I thought of her and her husband as a really cool and eclectic old couple. She taught voice lessons to people of all ages in her own living room. Her husband was a wood carver, hypnotist, therapist, and so many other things I don’t even remember. They were the sweetest people and Mrs. Grossman would tell me these wonderful stories about her life that showed how in love she and her husband were. He grew very ill and she started having problems as well. When Mr. Grossman died I went to the visitation and was shocked to see Mrs. Grossman was now in a wheelchair due to a bad hip. She stopped teaching and I haven’t seen her since. I have always wanted to speak to her to let her know how much she influenced my life but I don’t know where to find her.

Monday, November 17, 2008

I've Got Your Answers - Part 2

Gary Asks:
Very personal, because I forgot the details. I know you have seizures, does the doctor say it is epilepsy? Do you take medicine for it? Does it require you to change what you eat and drink?
Have you always loved singing, performing? Background please!
:)


Dear Gary (aka: The Pottery God),

I have had seizures but thankfully not that frequently and ideally never again. My neurologist does not call it Epilepsy yet. I guess they are not 100% sure on that. I take medication for it twice a day but honestly I wonder if it works for me at all. I have a feeling my seizures are more related to sleep issues. I haven’t had to change what I eat because I tend to be fairly healthy most of the time anyway. The only thing that has changed is my alcohol consumption. I used to drink quite a bit. I’m only 25 you know. Two years ago I could easily drink two bottles of wine, go to bed at 4, and be at work at 8am. Now if I drink as much as three glasses I could get sick for an entire day. Not always, but sometimes. I used to love vodka tonics with lemon but I can’t drink that at all anymore. The medication makes me unable to handle it so I try to be more careful. The feeling of being drunk never really happens anymore. I go from being fine to sick in minutes. I believe this is because of the medication. It does say “Alcohol intensifies effect” on the bottle. I just can’t give up the wine and beer.

I have always loved singing and performing. My mom was always a tomboy growing up and I think she assumed I would be so they had me playing softball, basketball, and whatever else. I sucked at everything. Around that same time I was singing constantly. I had a little toy microphone and speaker. I had a mic plugged into my boom box. We had a karaoke machine. You couldn’t get me to shut up. At some point my mom asked if I would like taking voice lessons. I must have been 8 or 9. Maybe younger. I’m not good with time lines. I never stopped taking lessons until I graduated from college and couldn’t afford it any more. My very first voice teacher invited me to a showcase of a local kids performing group. I remember going with my mom (I never realized until just now that it was always my mom, hmmm) and she asked if I would like to start taking classes. This group had me performing for years at local theaters, malls, fairs, and whatever else they could come up with. I also did every community theater show I could get into. It made my entire childhood.

After writing this I ended up on the phone with my mom and thanked her for always being the supportive one who got me involved with all the things that make me happy. She said I should probably thank my Grandmother as well. So Thanks to both of them and thanks to Gary for helping to point out what should have been obvious.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

My Imaginary Friend

When I was a little tiny thing, small enough to fit in the kitchen sink, I had an imaginary friend. I don't know where this friend came from, how long he was around, or what he and I did together but according to my family I spoke of him often. I wonder if this made my little brother jealous. Knowing my brother, probably not. The only thing I do remember is one day when my grandmother was washing my hair she asked where Sobo was. Yep, my friend's name was Sobo. I'm very creative. Anyway, I recall looking around and not seeing him so I said "He's gone." That's it. My entire memory consists of that brief moment of looking around for an imaginary friend that looks just like my brother and not seeing him so he must be gone. To this day my grandmother believes that imaginary friend is my spirit guide and still with me every step through life. A spirit guide is sort of a guardian angel. The more I think about the situation I think maybe I was looking for my brother and Sobo was my nickname for him. Maybe I never had an imaginary friend. I just talked to my brother whether or not he was there. OR maybe it's the Demon (see labels) I spoke of in previous posts! Whoa, I think I might be on to something. Maybe I've just been a loon since birth.