Anything's possible

The theme for next year's tour is CHOOSE TO BECOME, based on the scripture in Mark 9:23: "All things are possible to him that believeth."

And I believe.
I do.
Not always in MY abilities.
But, I believe in GOD'S abilities.

Last weekend I was at our last TOFW tour for the 2010 Tour.
What a blessing the INFINITE HOPE tour was for me this year.

I heard something that spoke to me in a way that let me know it was a little mantra I would want to take into my heart.

"It's not about willpower. It's about God's power."
(Brad Wilcox)

I'm so grateful to know this isn't about my power.
Rather, it's about HIS power...that lies within me.


And that is what makes ANYTHING POSSIBLE.
HE makes anything possible.
Even this.

I'm counting on it.

(PS My dad is scheduled to have surgery on Dec. 1st, which should be tomorrow. I know that I will be praying and thinking about him...and anxiously awaiting text updates on him...all day. Will you join us in praying for him?)

(PSS No, I'm not in China...but I went there once. And climbing that Great Wall was an incredible experience for me. I hope I'm thinking about it today.)

He is my strength

I've had words going through my mind over and over since last week. So I was especially grateful when a friend brought me some "thought cards" on Friday night and one of them included this:

"But they that wait upon the Lord,

shall renew their strength;

they shall mount up with

wings as eagles;

they shall run,

and not be weary,

and they shall walk,

and not faint."
Isaiah 40:31

I already know, before this even begins,

that the Lord is my stength.

But, I sense I'm getting ready to know that a little differently as I call upon Him for strength in ways I never have before (it's a good thing, this need for this kind of strength. Trust me.).

I'm ready.

If someone had told me even four weeks ago that this would have worked out, I never would have believed them. It all happened so fast. And now that it's here, I can look back at the last year of my life (really, the entire last year) and see how so many details, even the little ones, were orchestrated perfectly by a Father in Heaven who knows me... perfectly.

You know that cliff I was standing on the edge of?
Well, I didn't jump really. Rather, I got pushed right off.

I had a conversation
that led to a phone call
that took me to this place.
As we talked, I had a sense my life was getting ready to change.

And it is.

I've left my life for a couple of weeks. And while I can't begin to share everything that's going through my mind, I've written a couple of posts to be published this week until it's time to get back online and share this amazing opportunity I've been given. The journey feels personal in so many ways, but as I packed up my car yesterday, I sensed this isn't just for me. And I'm feeling compelled to share it. I think I might owe someone that.

And so I will.

I'm being given the chance to step it up...
to become a little closer to who I'm meant to be.

I know it.
I feel it.
I could be scared of it.
But, I'm not.
Not anymore.
I'm thrilled by it.

And most importantly?

I'm ready for it.

Thanks-living

The art of thanksgiving is thanks-living.
It is gratitude in action...
It is thanking God for the gift of life

by living it triumphantly...
It is thanking God for oppportunities

by accepting them as a challenge to achievement...
It is thanking God for inspiration

by living to be an inspiration to others...
It is adding to your prayers of thanksgiving,

acts of thanks-living.
(Wilfred Peterson, The Art of Living)

My Favorite things: BOOKS

(this post brought to you courtesy of a blizzard.)

So, last night someone asked me what some of my favorite things are. You know, like if I was OPRAH and had a show and featured some of my favorite things?

Well, if I was and if I did, I thought I'd share some of them this holiday season.

First up...BOOKS.

Here are some of my favorite books that I love and would highly recommend.

THE BOOK OF MORMON Another Testament of Jesus Christ
(and btw, a friend tonight facebooked me and asked how he could get a hold of a copy and I realized what a horrible friend I am that he has to ask. SO, if you would like one, know that I'd happily send you your own copy...complete with highlights of my favorite passages OR fresh and clean. Just email me if you're interested. Really.)








A HEART LIKE HIS
This is the book I credit for making me nice. And if you don't think I'm nice, you should have met me before reading this book (grin). Really. It changed the way I view others and the way I view my impact on and role in others' lives. (plus the author is super darling and loves cute bags.)





MY GRANDFATHER'S SON
My crush on Clarence Thomas is no secret. I even once declared it on a nationally syndicated talk show I called into. I'm a lover of biographies and THIS, my friends, is one of the best I've ever read. It's a keeper. A story of a good man who's faith in God helped him overcome everything. I happen to believe that. Really.



LIFE AND DEATH IN SHANGHAI
This was the first "adult" book I ever read. I was a junior in high school. I felt alone most of the time (we had just moved to St. Louis) and I spent my lunch hours in the library. Nien Cheng spent 7 years in solitary confinement. SHE was alone. She inspired me. I felt like I knew her. And this book changed me. It really did.







THE GREAT & TERRIBLE SERIES Those who know me best know I'm not much of a fiction reader (in case you couldn't tell that from this list). BUT...I am a huge fan of this. Chris Stewart is a national bestselling author who specializes in techno thrillers. And he brought his skill to a religious "last days" series that feels like a realistic portrayal of how things could be "in the end" and how important it will be to stay close to God. I LOVE this series (work through Vol. 1...it's a critical foundation for the series but not quite as well written as the rest of the series).

Those are some of My Favorite Books.
What are yours?

Prepared?

At 4:55 p.m. I posted this on my facebook wall:
"hey DB peeps...the sun is um shining and the sky looks pretty blue. Why are Mary and I the only ones still at the office?"

I was cavalier and a little bugged the world had stopped because "a blizzard was coming". It was supposed to be here at 3...then 4...then 5.

Everyone was talking about it.
Businesses and schools were shutting down.
People were leaving the office early.

By 4:30, however, it was sunny outside and blue skies. Really. It just didn't look at all like anything that approached a blizzard. And I thought it was just all a bunch of hype over nothing.

Twenty minutes later since everyone else was gone, I decided to give myself plenty of time to gas up my car and get groceries "before the storm hit". Downtown was empty and it seriously looked like the Apocalypse.

And then it hit.
Before I even got to the freeway, it hit.

It was like the sky caved in on downtown and the snow started to fall immediately. And the wind! The wind! It was so fast. And so cold. And so...blizzardy.

My gas light was on "E".
I knew there was no food in my fridge at home.
Heat source if the power goes out? I don't have one.

I couldn't help but feel woefully ill-prepared the whole drive home. The parable of the Ten Virgins came into my mind and I knew which side of the story I was standing on.

An unprepared virgin. Literally.
(sorry...couldn't resist.)

I had the time.
I had a warning.
But, I pushed it.

It's just a little blizzard.
I'll be okay.

But, what about the next thing?
Am I prepared?
Are you?

Bittersweet.

I stood on the stage after the event yesterday. It had been an incredible weekend. I looked out at the 4000+ empty chairs. Those that were left were in their various groups engrossed in conversation. Behind me the tech guys were busily working to put everything away. No one seemed to know what it all meant to me.

And I stood on the stage alone.

I remembered in an instant last Spring when, after an event, the ballroom was completely empty and I stood in the back of the hall and cried.

I said a heartfelt prayer.

In the midst of my truly blessed-in-so-many-ways life, I felt alone, trapped, left behind...like all the women who left the event got to go back to their lives and I was just left.

I so wanted a change.

Within a couple of weeks, I was presented with a new opportunity at work. And when we first talked about it, I wasn't enthused. It felt like one more bit of proof towards this life path I never signed up for. Like I was climbing up one more wrung of a ladder I never meant to step on. But, after much thought and prayer and a direct communication from Heaven, I sensed it was actually an answer to a plea those weeks before.

He opened a door.

Yesterday as I stood on that stage, I knew it wasn't totally the end of my experience with this job that I love...but I also knew it was the end of a chapter in my life. While I will still be overseeing TIME OUT FOR WOMEN, I've been stepping out of the day-to-day operations to make time for a new responsibility as the Creative Director over product development. And I've been grateful for the change.

But sometimes change is hard.

So even when you know it's the right thing
and actually what said you wanted
it's still something new
and you like what's familiar
so though it might be just the thing you needed
you're still having to let go a little of this thing you loved
and the life you've known

And it feels bittersweet.

The Lord's Vineyard

Have you ever heard of Pak Kret?
Before today I wouldn't have had any idea where Pak Kret was.

It sounds far away.
It looks far away.
It feels far away.
And that's because it is.

Pak Kret is in Thailand.
Thailand!

Why do I care about Pak Kret?
Because today I got a message from a girl who lives there.

And do you know what I love?
She's doing her darndest to live like a daughter of God in Thailand.
And I hope I'm doing my darndest to live like a daughter of God here.
And even though we're miles (and years) apart, I feel a bit of a kindred-spiritness with her. And I love that.

We really are all in our own little part of the Lord's vineyard
doing what He needs us to do there.
He finds us where we are.
He watches us where we are.
He talks to us where we are.
He uses us where we are.
He loves us where we are.

...We are thus highly favored, for we have these glad tidings declared unto us in all parts of our vineyard. (Alma 13:23)

(I wonder what Girls Camp is like in Pak Kret?
I'd sure like to go and find out.)

Mail update

I finally mailed the books.

If you "earned one" but didn't get one, please holler and let me know. Despite my attempt, I didn't get addresses for everyone. Or maybe I did but I'm just a really bad personal assistant for myself.

(And I have a few extra left so if you still want to get one, just follow the instructions and report back. I'd love to get the last few out!)

Oh, and since we're talking about mail...

Well, when my mom was here?
Yeah...she *might* have found the notice from the Post Office about my PO Box renewal being due.

She *might* have.

But, let's just keep that between us, okay?

Blogging for Reeder

I love my friend Reeder.

She's a girl who completely changed my opinion about blue nail polish. Prior to Jenny Reeder, I judged people who wore "non-conservative" nail polish colors.
(I used to be judgey like that.)

But, Jenny Reeder showed up at a Relief Society meeting with light blue nail polish. And I actually said, "you have just totally changed my opinion about girls who wear light blue nail polish." Because, well, if someone as "with it" as Jenny thought it was okay to wear it, it must be.
(I'm super easily swayed like that.)

Jenny is my super cool smarty friend who is now in DC working on her PhD (in History of Mormon Women). She is the kind of girl you can see once every couple years and pick up right where you left off. She is also one of the best souls on the planet. Oh, and she loves Eliza. And might be responsible for my love of Eliza that started about five years ago.

So, when I was sitting at our event in Portland a couple weeks ago and one of our mutual friends told me Jenny was in trouble, my heart just sank. And through a series of texts, Jenny told me that she had just been diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.

And I felt every ounce of everything go out of me.
It took my breath away.
I sat at our AV table, in the middle of the event, and cried.

Sobering news.
Things like this aren't supposed to happen to girls our age (I realize they happen all the time).
And not to healthy crazy marathon running girls like Jenny.

I so wish I could do something to just make it all go away.

But, maybe I wouldn't wish this away for Jenny.
I trust that God, the Father of us all, has things in store for her...some things she needs to experience...some things others who know her need to experience...and...moments with the Spirit that are unmistakable for her. I also trust that He doesn't let us suffer needlessly. And while I don't always like the way He chooses to teach us, I trust it.

I. Trust. It.

So, I'm one of many dear friends who are taking care of her blog while she's taking care of her little self and kicking Mr. Leukemia to the curb. My first post was today. You can read it here.

And as would be the case for any cute single girl who is in school to get her PhD because she is so super smart, insurance and thus finances are scary.
You might not know this girl.
But, you know me.
And every little bit would help.
If you feel so inclined to help, I would be so grateful. You can find out how to help here.

If you would rather donate through me, you can do that too. I'm starting a little "Christmas Jar" for Jenny and I'll happily include your donations in my jar.

And if all you can do right now, is say one little prayer for my friend, we'll take that too.

Love you, Reeder!

Thank. You.

Grateful for brave men and women today...SO grateful.

25 years.

25 years ago tonight.
It happened.

I just returned from another evening with another great group of remarkable young women.

And talking about the theme...on the actual anniversary of the theme...wow.

I am a girl who KNOWS...I KNOW...that I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who LOVES ME.

HE. LOVES. ME.

And I. Love. Him.
So much.

And all these years later, the words of the theme are a part of me now.
They make up who I am.
They go with me everywhere I go.
They influence every choice I make.
They are powerful, powerful words.
And they are powerful because they are true.

We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him.
We will "stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things,
and in all places" (Mosiah 18:9) as we strive to live
the Young Women values, which are:
Faith
Divine Nature
Individual Worth
Knowledge
Choice and Accountability
Good Works
Integrity and
Virtue.
We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values,
we will be prepared to strengthen home and family,

make and keep sacred covenants,
receive the ordinances of the temple,

and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.

(YW Theme, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints)

A Rendezvous to keep

There are things stirring in my life.
And there are happenings in the lives of those I love

that call me to my knees.
I will never question the existence of God.
I will never question the love of God.
Never.

I have seen too much.
I have felt too much.

But, when people in your life are struggling with hard things...
when there is uncertainty in the lives of those who have a place in your heart...
when you feel something happening in your own life

that could bring dramatic change...good change.

But uncertain change.

In such times, it's important to remember that...

God loves us
and, loving us,
has placed us here to cope with challenges
which he will place before us.
I'm not sure we can always understand
the implications of his love,
because his love will call us at times
to do things we may wonder about,
and we may be confronted with circumstances
we would rather not face.

I believe with all my heart
that because God loves us
there are some particularized challenges
that he will deliver to each of us.
He will customize the curriculum
for each of us
in order to teach us the things
we most need to know.

He will set before us in life
what we need,
not always what we like.
And this will require us
to accept
with all our hearts
the truth
that there is divine design
in each of our lives
and that you have
a rendezvous to keep.
-Neal A Maxwell ("But For a Small Moment", 1974)

I love that.

I trust that.

And I'm keeping my rendezvous.

Manual Labor

People sometimes tell me what a cool job I have.
And I do.
But all they see is the part that looks cool.
They don't see me put up or take down the set.
They don't see all the long hours and days.

And they certainly don't see me move 12 pallets of freight weighing in at over 14,000 lbs all by myself.

I did that today.

And it took me a while.
I had to go kind of far.
And I was tired.

I found myself talking to myself whilst doing it and I made a few observations:

- My body is pretty strong. For as poorly as I've taken care of it most of my life, it's pretty strong. I said, "Good job, body!"

- Sometimes I like thinking people might see me working hard and say, "Wow. You're a hard worker." Sometimes I don't like to do hard things just for the sake of doing hard things. I want to be seen doing hard things. That's probably not good.

- I like to think I wouldn't be a woman who wanted a nanny or housecleaner. I think I would just want to do the work myself.

- I'm a hard worker and I'm glad I am. I'm such a good deal for my Company.

- But sometimes when I'm at home, I'm lazy. Sometimes I am.

- I'm watching "The Office" and someone just said "manual labor" which is funny because that's the title of this post.

- Sometimes when you work really hard and no one sees what you did, it feels thankless. I was thinking today moms, especially moms of young kids, must feel that way a lot. Moms do lots of hard, tiring things all the time and no one sees it. Yay to the moms out there.

- I really like manual labor. I like knowing I worked physically hard and did something.

- Sometimes I also like taking naps.

- I don't know that I would have made such a good pioneer though because really, it was just 14,000 lbs for like an hour. And they walked and walked and walked and carried a lot for like several months.

- I often find myself doing something and thinking, "should I blog about this?"

- And lots of times I talk myself out of it.

- But, this time I didn't.