Corners.

Courage can't see around corners,

but goes around them anyway.

-mignon mclaughlin

That little quote has been on my blog for a really long time.
It has served me well.

Oh, this is hard.
And it's not a decision I am making lightly.
And perhaps it won't be as permanent as it feels like it is right now.
And so maybe I'm making a bigger deal of it than it needs to be.
And maybe, even if it is permanent, it's still not that big of a deal.
But, it feels like a big deal...to me.

When I started this blog (November 2007), I was a 35 year old single girl desperately wanting to figure out her place in this world and finally ready to face some of the demons in my little head. I had just a few readers (family and super close friends) and I got used to pouring out my soul (my therapist had recently quit practicing...true story... and...well...blogging was cheaper and easier than finding a new therapist) and sharing little inspirational thoughts that would come into my mind or gospel learnings in my study or ah-ha moments in my relationships or breakthroughs when it came to my body issues (or speeding tickets and expired registrations...there have been a lot of those...but I digress).

It was a mix of everything and I loved the comfort of knowing I had a place to share my heart. My little spirit had a sense that I had corners in my life...corners I needed to run towards and not away from, corners I needed to turn, corners I needed to want again, corners I needed to trust.

Looking back at the last 5+ years, I'm amazed at, and oh so grateful for, the journey.

I was weepy the last few weeks prior to the wedding.
I had people tell me I was mourning the end of a chapter of my life coming to a close.
But, I wasn't.
I wasn't sad.
Rather, my tears came from a very tender sacred place as I reflected on a very tender and sacred part of my life.
I look back on my life, especially the last three years, and I am blown away at all that has occurred.
It truly feels sacred and holy to me in so many ways.
And...
this little blog has basically captured all of it.

But...

The girl who started "Just Around This Corner" feels different than the girl I am today.
I'm in a different place now.
And I'm not sure this place...this little corner of the worldwideweb... quite fits me anymore.

So, I'm going to take a little break from blogging while I soak in my new life...with him. and my new space...with him. and learn to be a mrs....with him. and totally enjoy what it means to be completely connected to another soul and start a new chapter...with him.
A really amazing and exciting new chapter.
With a really amazing him.

I love it.
I really truly love it.
This life with him.
It's better and harder and more meaningful and sweeter.
It's all I hoped it would be and some of what I couldn't have imagined.
It's a new life.
It's our life.

Perhaps I'll come back here.
Or perhaps I'll start writing somewhere else.
Or perhaps this is just the end of the blogging era.

Either way...
THANK YOU, dear friends (some whom I know well, some whom I've never met), for being a part of this journey.
There have been moments when I've felt completely alone and this little space saved me.
There have been times when I've been completely uninspired and this little blog helped me feel like I mattered.
It might sound silly to some.
But, it's true. And I'm so deeply grateful.
Grateful for this...
...for you...
...for my Mr....
...for my Father in Heaven...

And I'm grateful for me.
Or rather, the courage God helped me find to go around corners.
Especially the courage to go around this one.

God is good.
Life is good.
And there's much more good ahead.
For all of us.



xoxo,
Laurel

PS...
If we're not connected on facebook, come find me there (and if we don't know each other, let me know you're from the blog). If you want to stay in touch generally, that's a good place.
And if you're ever at TOFW, come see me there. And I'll be blogging at TOFW.com from time to time too.

The day I became a Mrs.

Where do I even begin?

I want to share the miraculous story a year ago this very weekend (Memorial Day weekend) when I made a promise to God. A bold promise. And I felt He made a promise to me.
And then on Memorial Day morning, when I tearfully told a friend I was so done having holidays alone, she said to me with as firm a voice as anyone has ever spoken to me: "He is so close. Your husband is so close."

I want to tell the series of events that started on June 2 (the day after I promised to stop crying...remember?)...a series of miraculous events and decisions that changed the course of my life.

I want to talk about all the things I've learned about love and commitment and covenants and divorce and heartache and agency and God's omniscience and faith and works and hope and blessings and laws and obedience and consequences and promises.

I could fill up pages and pages.
But, I can't.

I can't possibly write it all and even if I could, I'm not sure that I would.
At least not right here.
At least not right now.


So I hope somehow the pictures tell the story that I cannot.
It's a miracle to me.
And I couldn't be more grateful.
And I couldn't be happier.

I am a Mrs.
I am his Mrs.
He is my Mr.
And oh how I love him.

  

  

  

Celebration Announcement

I'm a married girl now...
Twelve days married, in fact.
And oh how I love it.

& there are pictures to post
& stories to tell
& thoughts to share.

But...first things first.

I'm so happy to finally announce this:

We decided we wanted to use our celebration to do some good in the world.
So we gathered some of my favorite musicians (and dear friends) for a little benefit concert.

Will you come and join us?

I would LOVE to see you there...whether we've ever actually met or not.
It's an event for your entire family (or favorite friends).
It will be a happy day (happy "day" indeed).

(RSVP here or on facebook.)

PS If you are waiting for your book, you have not been forgotten. Just turned out that getting to the post office pre-wedding wasn't nearly as easy as I thought it would be. So very sorry. I'll get those in the mail this week. xoxo

Best. of. Me.

Forgive the cheese moment.
But...
It's 3am and I am wide awake.
And I can't stop listening to this song (and not just because it's my dreamy Buble) as I sit in a hotel room waiting for my alarm to go off so I can get on a plane and get back to what's waiting for me at home.

I've lived most of my life not having anything waiting for me at home.
And, honestly, so many times that's been okay.
It was what I knew.
But, now that I am where I am and know what I know, I can't believe I've gone so long without it (and kudos to all of us who have) and I realize even the few times I had something waiting for me at home, I certainly never had what is waiting for me now.

What's waiting for me?
(no, not Buble...but listen to the song. Oh the lyrics. They slay me.)



One who gives more than "enough to me".
The man who "changed the taste of love for me".
My "one more chance" (literally...that's what I told the Lord) "I never thought I'd find".
"The one romance I've always known in my mind."
The Mr who I can say of "no one who has ever touched me more".

You could say I saved "the very best of me" for this man.
But, I see now that that is because he has brought the very best of me OUT of me.
That's what this love thing is all about, right?
...finding the person who can bring the best of you out.
...finding the person you can do that for in return.

Someone told me this weekend, "you are oozing peace. You look content."
Someone else said, "you are just glowing."

I feel it.
I do.
I am the best of me.
Somehow with him, because of him, I am stronger and better and happier and contenter and more me-er.

I can't wait to get back to him.
I can't wait to plan our week.
I can't wait to continue the countdown.
I can't wait to get home.


For anyone waiting for love...real love...good love...right love.
To the cute 30-something single ladies I met in Memphis two weeks ago...
To the worried 20-something cutie I met in Indy yesterday...
To the dozens of girls who read this blog who have emailed me since becoming engaged because you've found a little bit of hope in my story...
That love you are hoping for?
This 41 year old, soon-to-be-married girl knows...
It exists.
And it might not come when you want it to or even how you thought it would,
But it exists.
It does.
Keep praying for it.
Keep believing in it.
And...
Save the best of you,
the very best of you it.

(PS My cute Mr couldn't believe how many of you replied to get a book. So, basically, if you sent me your address, you are getting a copy...courtesy of him. They'll go in the mail on Monday...as well as the 3 copies of Armor Up I owe. Happy reading!)

a little seed of faith

Announcing the birth of this little thing:

(isn't she adorable? the designer did an amazing job. look at some of these inside pages...)

My very first book for real live adult people.
(also available as an ebook for $3.99...holy cow that's a good little price)
It's my 2011 TOFW talk "The Faith Experiment" captured in the cutest little gift book.

Yesterday some friends threw me a shower and one of them said, "Look at how your faith experiment has turned out!"
And while I don't believe the "turning out" had to do with the "outcome" (because faith is not about outcomes), I DO believe that the principles I learned and shared in this little book are absolutely true and I do believe they can be life changing. And, as it happened, produced results in my life I do believe would have happened no other way.
Pray.
Think.
Live.

I love how this little book turned out and and I want to share it.
So....

The first 15 comments will get a copy.
Yep. You read that right.
I love my little blog world and I am giving away FIFTEEN COPIES.
Make sure to email me your mailing address to LaurelDOTChristensenATgmailDOTcom after you leave your comment here. And, if you feel so inclined, share the book with others you think could benefit.

Here's to YOUR faith experiment.
xoxo

Run, Bride. Run.

(don't you just love/adore this movie? I can't stand how much I love it.)

Well...
In six weeks I become his "mrs".
(that is not a typo...it's really just 6...and this is my announcement of that date.).
I can't really even believe I'm here.
I wake up most mornings pinching myself.
Making sure the ring is still in the ringbox.
Hearing the whistle of his "good morning" text.
It's real.
I'm here.
And I just couldn't be happier.

But, this wasn't supposed to ever be able to happen.
Not with me where I am right now.
And there is a powerful lesson in that.

You see...I've always known my weight and my body...and how I felt about my body...got in the way of my relationships. I dated guys who were bothered by their weight...so I knew they were bothered by mine. But, even with that, I often told my close friends how important it was to me that I meet my husband before my weight-loss journey was done because I didn't want to connect my weight-loss with finally finding true love but I also worried about meeting him before I finished what I started.

And then he showed up.

He learned early on (before we actually met) where I was in my journey and the anxiety I felt about that. And the story and the conversations we had about that? Connected me to him in a way I can't express. But, even then, I remember when we met live and started dating fighting the thought "he's only into you because he trusts you're going to lose the rest of your weight and he's willing to take the risk".


Then I got mono and I was sure that would be it. I wouldn't be able to run and so I wouldn't be able to lose weight and so he wouldn't be able to love me.

And then life got away from me and I remember waking up one morning (the morning we ended up getting engaged) and looking in the mirror and telling myself I still had time...he wasn't proposing for a while...I could still get back to it.

And then we got engaged (that very night) and I took comfort in knowing that there were some things we needed to do to get clearance for the date. We had been told it could take a couple of months and so I knew I still had time. But, I had tweaked my back over the holiday and my chiropractor still hadn't cleared me to run (I was walking like an 80 yr old woman so that might have something to do with it...no offense to any 80 yr old women) and I my progress was stopped yet again.

And then we found out we could set a date and we decided on a date...that's now in 6 weeks (from today. Did I mention that?). And I knew that wasn't enough time to do anything significant to my body.

And then I realized something really powerful.

I realized he knew that too.

And I knew that I'm enough.

He see all of me, including who I want to be.
He sees my weaknesses and my strengths and he loves me.
As me.
It's a remarkable thing.

And it has forced me to acknowledge that I've held on to my weight as a comfort. It's been my safety net. My excuse. It's what I've known.

But it's not who I am.

And as I started running again the last couple of weeks (albeit slowly and out of breath...I've lost so much stamina), that familiar feeling I used to love has been soaring through my body and my spirit.

I am a runner. I am.
And that doesn't mean I'm at my goal weight and it doesn't mean I'm an athlete and it doesn't mean I'm fast.

But it means I'm strong
& determined
& courageous
& believing
& capable
& pretty
& sexy
& tenacious
& spiritual
& on and on and on.
That's who I am when I run.
That's who I am to him.

He is, without a doubt, the best thing that has ever happened to me.

And so...
Today is the day I commit to myself and my future mr to be at peace with my body.
With where my body is today.
With how I will look in our pictures.
With what I see when I stand in front of the mirror.

Today is the day I believe everytime he says, "you're beautiful."
Or tells me I'm sexy
Or comments on how good I look
Or encourages me to run because I feel better...not because I need to be better.

And today is the day I promise my little self I won't give up on this journey.
I might not need to do this any longer to get what I want.
But, I need to do it because I deserve to do it.

You know what you deserve?
To make peace with your body.
Give that to yourself.
You deserve that.
It's a powerful thing.

(PS Because we are doing this so quickly the public celebration will be happening a few weeks after the happy day. Let me know if you'd like to join in. It's going to be a little event for an organization we care about. Stay tuned...)

Being Aunt Laurel

Today was not my favorite.

Sometimes work is just too much.

But, then he sends flowers. Before he even knows it was not my favorite day.

(Oh, how I love him.)

And in addition to him? Well, I also get to be an aunt.

I will always be their aunt.

A couple of days ago, I got this email, out of the blue, from my 10 yr old niece:

 Aunt Laurel, 

I want to ask you something. 

What does it feel like to prepare to get married? 

And what do you have to do? 

Mark [her 12 yr old brother] says you have to do a lot of paperwork.

I love you more than chocolate cake with peanut butter icing and Daddy's peanut butter ice cream! And I like those things A LOT.

It made me all sorts of happy.

Then, today (which wasn't my favorite. Did I mention that?) 

my really awesome SIL (mother to the above email sender) sent the following...

You have to read these...how cute are they?

Oh. my. cute.

And with that, I say:

Dear Husband-to-be:

Mark said it best, babe.

When you're cross?

[and maybe even when I am]

I'm. the. boss.

xoxo

-LA(e)

I adore being "Aunt Laurel". 

Adore.

And the winners are...

I'm late on the winner announcement (so sorry).
SO...

mjcundiff
Shauna
Lisa Johnson

Email me at LaurelDOTChristensenATGmailDOTcom with your address and I'll get your books in the mail! Thanks for playing!

just around this corner...

It's 5am on my birthday.
A Saturday.
I was going to sleep in.

Yet, here I am awake and feeling all contemplative.
About my life.
About me.
About the people I love.
About my soon to be "mr".

I think about where I was a year ago.
Where my heart was...where it really was...and I am blown away by all that has happened.

When I named this little blog of mine, it was a reminder to me that there were things in the works in my life that I did not know and could not see. To be honest, most days I worried that there just wasn't. I worried that what I saw and experienced was kind of going to be it. Sure, it was good. But, it wasn't all I hoped for.

I knew the my 40th year was going to be a game changer.
I just knew it (remember my "preparation for promises" post?)
I just hoped it.
I look at my life this past year and the corners I approached.
I went around every single one of them.
I might have sometimes done it cautiously, but I went.
They weren't all easy, but I went.
And I'm amazed at how things have unfolded.
Amazed and so deeply grateful.

I am 41 today.
FORTY-ONE.
How did I get here?
By turning corners.
By praying for corners.
By hoping for corners.

What I hoped when I started this blog is true...
Things are in the works for our lives that we do not know and cannot see.
My life has turned a corner.
And I could not have imagined the beauty and sunshine and happiness that was
just around this corner
waiting for me.

"You cannot behold with your natural eyes, 

for the present time, 

the design of your God 

concerning those things which shall come...." 

(Doctrine & Covenants 58:3)

 (image found here)

He said he won't marry me (& other news)

He said he won't marry me...

Until he reads every single blog post.

He's already read 2012 (my least prolific year) and has already lived the few posts of this year.
He's finished 2007 and a whole lot of 2008.
But, I did so much writing in 2009-2011...ohmygoodness...I fear we'll never marry.
He just wants to know everything and I adore that about him.

(I've actually had guys say to me before, "um, you won't expect me to read your blog, will you?" as a concern of condition for us dating. But not this guy.)

He kind of can't get enough of me.
And I really can't get enough of him.
It's almost ridiculous.
Except that it's not.
It's the sweetest thing I've ever known.

I love this time in my life. I love how fresh the world looks. I love how right it all feels.
I. am. happy.
And can I just say?
It was worth every bit of waiting and praying and hoping and trying yet again.
(we just can't ever give up on what we really want...we just can't...you just can't.)

And in other news...

WAIT. DID SOMEONE SAY IT'S FEBRUARY?
And we know that that means...
It's my birthday month.
But, funny...
I think I'm realizing now that I don't actually need a whole month to celebrate.
I don't even need a whole week (though, let's be honest, I won't turn down anyone's attempt to celebrate my birthday).
I just love having "him" in my life.
It's enough for me.
I think my friends are grateful to be off the hook this year.
Last year was a lot of pressure.
(Though if you want to relive the happy memory of last year, here it is. And I still get teary when I watch it. That was a day of love that will never be forgotten.)

And still in other news...
Lest you think I've been spending all my time falling in love...

This little book, encouraging youth how to "put on the whole armor of God", is available now:

And this little well-timed gem, a book helping today's youth prepare for missions, will be available in May:

Super honored to be a part of these projects.
AND to celebrate my birthday week, I'm doing a little give away for ARMOR UP.

If you would be interested in getting a copy of ARMOR UP and willing to spread the word then put a note about it on your blog or facebook (or commit to send an email out to people that you know) and leave a comment here. I'll be giving away a copy for you and/or the favorite teenager in your life to THREE of you!

Winners will be announced Sunday night, February 10th so just comment & share before then.
Ready? Go.