Wrestling is Family

Life is built with circumstances beyond our control.  Sometimes they are great and sometimes they just suck.  This was supposed to be Neil's year.  His senior year.  He had goals.  First, he decided he would play football.  His goals were to:  1.  Get noticed.  2.  Make first string Varsity.  3.  Get 75+ tackles.  He smashed those goals.  He also was voted Best defensive lineman and best defensive player by his peers.

He wanted to carry that momentum into his wrestling season.  He had goals there too.  The main one was to get on the medal stand at state.  He worked hard in the wrestling room.  Pushing through pain, illness, mental fatigue.  He coached kids club, he worked hard in his studies to keep his grades up.  He worked hard.  It seemed that after years of being plagued with mental weakness and injuries things would turn around this year.  He was wrestling solid, staying focused.  Even through losses, he learned, regrouped and moved forward.

Going into Ozark Conference, the first time since his freshman year, he was ready.  Didn't get the full results at the tournament he wanted but he still stayed focused on the steps needed to reach his goal.  He was ready for districts, the qualifying tournament that would get him to state.   Faltering a bit in one of his matches Friday night, he fell to the backside of his bracket.  Meaning he would have to fight his way back to reach his goal on Saturday.  He was ready, he was focused.  He fought through his first match.  Fought through his second match, wrestling solid.  He was one step closer.  Three seconds left and Neil in the lead when suddenly he goes down, his opponent jumps off of him and Neil screams in pain.  Three seconds left, Neil winning.  A knee injury.  It's all over for the season and there ends the chapter of his high school wrestling career.

Heartbreak....disbelief...why?  Why do bad things happen to good people?  Why couldn't he just reach this one goal?  Why did it slip through his fingertips?

As we were standing inside the treatment room with Neil and the athletic trainer, one of the coaches said he thought we were more upset than Neil.  I've pondered that statement for the past 24 hours.  Yes, we were upset.  But we haven't spent the past few years living our dreams through our kids, this wasn't about us.  They have their dreams, their goals and we support them...financially and emotionally.  It broke my heart to watch his dream shatter.

Then I saw this..

Neil's dad carrying him down the stairs after the tournament was over.  And I realized that wrestling has been so much more for Neil and our family than medals and what happens on the mat.  Don't get me wrong, those things matter but the bigger picture is so much grander than anything you can see.  Nearly every coach from all the other teams came and spoke to Neil after his match.  They were sincere in their words of encouragement.  So many wrestlers from different teams came and sat with him and talked to him, offering him support, encouragement and prayers.  His coaches, teammates and their families are a wealth of support and love to all of us.  That...that is what matters the most.  Wrestling is family.  One big, extended family that pulls together when the chips are down.  What a testament to who Neil has become as a result of wrestling.  His wrestling family carried him when he was down, emotionally and physically.  Wrestling is family.

I'm Okay With My Son Losing

We just finished up our last weekend of folkstyle state for kid's club.  It's the last one for our family as Daniel will head off to high school next year.  I can't even believe I just typed that!  Daniel did not reach his goal to be on the medal stand but it wasn't for lack of effort!  Saturday was a devastating day.  Daniel went out in his first match and won by pin.  He went to his second match and fought hard pushing the match into overtime and just falling short of the win.  He went out and won his 3rd match and he fought hard in his fourth but again went into overtime and just fell short.  I could have cried...I might have cried, I honestly don't know.  Daniel was devastated. 

I pondered all night and even yesterday and this is what I came to.  I'm okay with my son losing.  I mean as a parent, we need to teach our kids that it's okay to lose.  Losing stinks and it hurts but it can make kids have tremendous growth if you let it.  Daniel made the decision to stay for the rest of the tournament to support his teammates and friends.  I know how I felt watching everyone else, I can't imagine what it was like for him but he was amazing.  He cheered his friends on.  He hung around with other wrestlers from other teams and he turned a hard situation into a fun one.  It wasn't until medals were being awarded that he broke down.  He sat next to me in the stands, put his head in his lap and cried.  There was nothing I could say to make him feel better.  A friend sat next to him and talked to him, hugged him and made him feel better.

As terrible as that was, I am still okay with my son losing and this is why.  Through all of that, Daniel held his head up high.  After his loss that knocked him out of the running for a medal, he stood up, walked to the center of the mat, shook his opponents hand and even hugged him.  Yesterday as I watched the medal rounds, I saw kids and coaches screaming, throwing headgear and having tantrums when things didn't go their way.  I sat in front of a woman who complained to anyone who would listen using vulgar language for over 2 hours about her son's loss.  She even threatened to beat the other kid if he looked at her.  The kid is 7.  When her son sat next to her, she just told him over and over that he was the true winner.

Wrestling isn't always fair, I will say that.  You have one man as a referee who doesn't always see what we see or share the same opinion as we do as to what should be points or what shouldn't be.  It's frustrating.  Guess what?  Life's not fair either.  Sometimes things aren't what we think they should be in wrestling or life.  We need to teach our kids that just because their best efforts don't give us the results we want doesn't mean that they failed.  We need to encourage without taking away from others.  Why must we step on others to bring ourselves up and why are we teaching that to our kids?  Yes, it is frustrating when it seems that someone has an easier journey but we just have to take away that perhaps we have something to learn from our own path.  I was so proud of Daniel's actions on the mat and off the mat.  He was a good friend and good teammate.  I definitely learned from his example over the past couple days.

A smile during a tournament earlier in the season

He didn't step on others to make himself feel better.  If losing made him a better person than I am all for it.  This is but a moment in his life, he will look back at this and use it as motivation for the coming years as he continues his wrestling career.  Even if he never stepped on the mat again, I will forever be grateful for all that he has learned from this sport.

Three Boys, Three Winter Journeys

This past weekend we closed out our folkstyle wrestling season and winter indoor drumline. It's been an amazing winter in regards to the boys activities. 

I am so proud of my boys. Watching Michael perform in the drumline and interact with his friends was such a blessing. Even when he was frustrated about practices or performances he still had fun. I loved that he was in the front so I could always see him.

Michael, you are amazing! Your musically talent is something I hope you stay humble about. Thank you for your patience as we were not always there for your performances, thank you for understanding.

Daniel, you made a goal and while you think you fell short, you had a wonderful wrestling season. It was such a joy to watch you go out and be a pinning machine (25 pins for the season). I loved watching you support your friends on our team and those from other teams. I loved watching you laugh one second and then turn into all business the next.

Neil, your wrestling season wasn't as long as you wanted it to be but watching you coach our kids in the club was such a beautiful thing to experience. Your interaction with the kids making them push themselves yet encouraging the isn't something everyone can do. Your tenderness when they just needed to work through emotions was a humbling sight to see. You have grown into a wonderful mentor.

I loved when our music world mixed with our wrestling world. The Thursday before state the indoor drumline performed at the middle school for the 8th graders. I loved having our wrestlers tell me how much they enjoyed watching Michael perform, they were impressed he could play with four mallets.

We are blessed with three amazing boys who are individuals and have unique talents. While they are the Albrecht boys, they certainly are their own people and we love them each with all of our hearts.

State Medalist

What a difference a year makes!  I remember writing this post in tears last year and now I am here writing that Daniel not only qualified for state but is a state medalist!

Daniel did not like how he felt last year when he finished 7th at districts and barely missed out on advancing through the state series.  He was determined to work hard and not only get to state but to be a state champion.  He did some Greco/Freestyle but after Neil dislocated his elbow that kind of put the damper on that for the year.  He went into this year's wrestling season determined to meet his goals.  He started off the season by taking first at his first tournament.

 He just kept going.  He never placed below third and had more 1st place finishes then anything else.  He went into districts this year as the #1 seed and walked out the champion!

He went into regionals confident and determined.  He finished 2nd which was great!  He was not very happy as he wanted first but his second place finish meant he qualified for state!

I think I have not given Daniel enough credit the past few years.  I never dubbed him as a natural athlete.  He has heart, lots of it but he has to work hard at being good at sports.  He puts the work in to get the results he wants.  This year he was determined.  Mix that with the work and he ended the season with a 32-8 record, 25 of those being wins by pin.  As you can imagine, each loss at state was heartbreaking and didn't meet his ultimate goal of being state champion but being the 6th best wrestler in the state of Missouri in his weight class is nothing to be ashamed of.  He earned that spot on the podium!

Daniel had an awesome season.  It was so fun to be at tournaments and hear people talking about him using terms like, "beast", "champ" and "fighter".  I loved when people underestimated him when he walked out on the mat to wrestle their kid and be surprised when Daniel won the match.

I am proud of Daniel's humility and sportsmanship.  Overall, I am just proud of our son and the work he put into achieving his goals.  I can't wait for next season!

15-4

 Neil had a limited wrestling season due to not being able to start until after the new year.  The increase in snow helped in some ways with all the canceled tournaments/duals but he still didn't wrestle as much as he would have liked to.  Even with all of that, he went to practice and worked hard and I believe his coaches saw that.  Due to the lineup in his weight bracket, Neil ended up wrestling on JV.  It was somewhat disheartening at first but I am proud of him for knowing his body enough to know he wasn't ready to cut to a weight he didn't feel comfortable at.  I know many who gave him grief over it but we always said we would not risk health for this sport.

Neil tried to get to 145 but didn't like the way he felt when he cut weight, especially when he hit a plateau.  This forced him onto the JV squad.  Many kids quit when they don't get what they want.  Neil just continued to work hard.  He was a team leader and went out there and worked hard on the mat.  He has an undefeated JV  season for two years in a row now.  He did get a chance to wrestle Varsity for a home dual where he won his match with a major decision and he went with the Varsity team to a tournament where he finished 6th.  He went 4-4 which was a huge improvement from last year when he didn't win a single match.  Unfortunately, he came home with a concussion which left him out of the last big tournament of the season.  We are so proud of his work ethic and that he never quit even when others told him they would. 

Back on the Mat - Never Quit!

Happiness is watching your son do this:

After he dislocated his elbow back in April, we had no idea what his recovery was going to be.  His was told initially that his recovery would be 6 weeks or so.  He ended up going to occupational therapy for  almost 4 months!  It was a lot of grueling work as you can see in the pictures below (which I took to document for Kevin while he was in Korea).  I know in many of the pictures that some of the therapy looks simple but it was surprisingly hard.  I am so proud of how hard Neil worked and am so grateful for such an amazing occupational therapy team who worked so well with him.  They chastised him when he needed him and supported him always.  We were kind of sad when he "graduated" and was told he didn't have to go back.  Neil still likes to stop by and see them when we are at the hospital.  Some of the therapists want to come watch him when he wrestles at home.  Neil is back in the wrestling room working hard, he's still a bit behind but I think he has a great season ahead of him!

No more OT!

Dislocated!

Just over two weeks ago, Neil was injured...again.  Out of the three boys, he is the only one who has ever broken anything.  He made the comment the other day that he has been to the hospital more times than the other two combined.  I'm not sure that's something I'd be proud of, but he IS a boy!

The one day I haven't gone to wrestling practice ALL season, I get a phone call about the time I am expecting Kevin, Neil and Daniel to be on their way home.  The name that came up on my phone was actually that of our former club president (JD).  When I answered, he said that Kevin needed to talk to me.  I didn't think anything of it since we don't get signal in the wrestling room on our phones and I figured he needed to ask me something about the upcoming tournament.  When he got on the phone, he simply said in a very calm voice..."Neil dislocated his elbow, we go to the fort, right?"  I replied with a yes and then he hung up.  It took me a couple of minutes to register what he told me.  I was sitting on my bed at the time and when it finally cycled through my brain, I started to panic.  Did he just say that Neil had dislocated his elbow?  I tried texting JD back asking him how they were getting to the hospial...if they were driving or was an ambulance called.  I had no clue what was going on and I felt extremely anxious and helpless.

At nearly every tournament we have attended this wrestling season, there has been an elbow dislocated and it's always quite dramatic.  The key is typically keeping the kid from going into shock so they can be treated as quickly as possibly.  I was trying not to freak out too much and just waited.  I figured that I would get a call at some point.  A few minutes later, Kevin called again to let me know he was with Neil, in an ambulance, headed to the hospital.  He asked me if I could contact someone to come give him a blessing from church and told me who had Daniel.  I told him I would meet him at the hospital.

I had Michael drop me off at the emergency room and then sent him to pick up his brother who was with a friend.  I tried to put all my emotions in check to be the best support system I could be for Neil and Kevin and tried not to over think the situation.  When I'm by myself dealing with the kids, I do really well keeping it all together.  When Kevin is around, I suddenly give myself permission to fall apart. 

I arrived at the hospital around the same time that the ambulance did and was told to wait a few minutes until he was settled.  I was surprised at how calm I was because I really wanted to rush to the back and see my child.  Finally I was able to go back and see him.  He was in a lot of pain but was being really brave.  Our friends from church arrived and a few minutes later they went and gave Neil a blessing with Kevin.  They only allowed two people to be in the back with him so I went out to the waiting room for a bit and when I got there, the room was filling up with people from our wrestling team.  Nearly all the coaches showed up plus JD who had come with his son and Neil's best friend who's brother is on the wrestling team as well.  Plus the guys from church were still there so you can imagine a pretty full waiting room.  I don't think the other people there appreciated our gathering much because shortly after, they came and moved us to a private room.

I stayed in the waiting room while different people cycled through the back to see Neil.  Kevin stayed with him pretty much the entire time.  I knew that I needed to stay back for a while and make sure my emotions were in check.  I can really set Neil out of sorts if I'm not careful with my own feelings so I'm always really aware of that.  He needed to be calm and confident in what was going on around him and how he was being taken care of.  Again, if Kevin had not been there, I would have been fine but I am so grateful that he was there.  I also knew that I wouldn't leave the hospital until he was discharged and knew everyone who stopped to check on him would eventually leave.  It felt good to have so much support and so many people care about is welfare.  I can say we are truly blessed in that sense.  We received numerous calls and texts from people checking in on him.  It was good to know that we were being lifted up in prayer.

I felt while I was waiting to go back and hang out with him that I should call the kid who was wrestling Neil when he got hurt.  I knew that it was an accident and if I had to be completely  honest based on what Neil and everyone else said, Neil did it to himself.  But I know that poor wrestler was upset with himself because his friend was hurt and he happened to be the one that threw him.  Neil forgot he was wrestling greco/freestyle in that split second and posted his arm which resulted in the dislocation.  It was simply an accident.  There were no hard feelings and no blame placed.  I wanted to ensure to that boy that we were all okay.  Neil was upset and wanted to call him right then and there and tell him he was okay.  But Neil was high on morphine and emotional and that boy was upset and crying and that just would not have been a good mix.  I called to reassure him no one was angry and I didn't want him beating himself up over it.

Neil was feeling pretty good on the morphine as they had put him under slightly with amnesiacs to reset his elbow after x-raying it to make sure it wasn't broken.  When I finally got back there after everyone left, he was very relaxed.  He was also pretty funny.  He kept telling the medical staff they were cool and thanking them profusely.  When they put the sling on his arm, he was asking them what color his sling was and when they said blue, he needed to know what kind of blue and when they responded with navy blue, he leaned his head back and said.."cooooool". 

I really appreciated this medical team that night, they were all so nice and their bedside manner was impeccable.  Military hospitals tend to get a bad rap and I just want it to be know that we had excellent care when it came to our son.

Neil was scheduled to see orthopedics upon his discharge and told to rest.  He wouldn't be seen until Monday (this all happened on Thursday evening).  He stayed home and rested pretty much the entire weekend.

Neil has had three appointments since his initial injury and numerous x-rays.  Thankfully nothing shows or indicates a fracture which was a huge concern given the way he landed and the way is arm twisted.  He stayed swollen for almost two weeks and was left in a splint to help ease that.  This past Wednesday, he was put in an adjustable brace that is locked so he can only move his arm so far.  They want to make sure that his elbow remains stable through the healing process.  They say his recover can take 3-6 months.  He starts occupational therapy next week and remains under the orthopedic doctors care.

While this has been a rough journey, we still feel incredibly blessed.  He received wonderful initial first aid care from Kevin and his coaches which helped keep him from going into shock which the doctor told me was a great thing because that delays treatment.  The EMT staff was wonderful as were his doctors at the hospital.  They treated him with respect and dignity and not just some kid.  The doctor who is currently taking care of him has been amazing!  I feel truly blessed that he is a member of our church and while we don't know each other extremely well, he knew Neil and has taken such good care of him.  I know it's not just because we go to church together but it's nice to know there is a slight personal connection involved as Neil continues on with his treatment.

Kevin was able to extend his leave a week which was a true blessing because Neil couldn't really take a bath without assistance since he hurt his right arm and Kevin was able to help him.  I mean what 15 year old wants his mom to help him in the bathtub?

It's been an emotional roller-coaster.  Neil was upset that his wrestling season was over, he really wanted a chance to make it onto a National Team and he was on his way.  Thankfully, he should recover well and be just as strong for next year's season.  We just all have to be patient.

Canceled Hotel Reservations

I didn't know canceling a hotel reservation could be so hard.  We always try to book hotels well in advance for big tournaments because when we travel as far as we do, you have to book early.  I had reservations made for all three state series tournaments months in advance.  This morning, I called to cancel the reservations for next few weeks.

Yesterday was our district tournament for club wrestling.  We knew going in that it was going to be a tough road for Daniel to get to state as he had a pretty full bracket.  He has struggled this year, being in the bottom of his bracket as one of the youngest kids so we knew he was going to have to fight really hard.  And he fought his little heart out and still came up just short.  The top six of each bracket got to move on to regionals and Daniel finished 7th.

I cannot begin to tell you how my heart broke after his 4th match and second loss that would end his journey to state.  I couldn't even go near him, I had to let him go off and cry alone and with his brother.  I knew there was nothing I could say in that moment that would make him feel better.  I knew that because in that moment, there was nothing that anyone could say to me to make me feel better.  I was pretty heartbroken for him.  I wanted to cry and I held it in for a while.

It really sucked because I was taking the money and preparing our club roster to turn in with the names of the kids who would be advancing.  It was a bitter pill to swallow as I wrote down kids who didn't win a match that day but still got to advance because there were less than six kids in their bracket.  It took me quite a while before I could cross Daniel's name of the roster and when I did, I cried.  It simply sucks when your kid has to learn that sometimes like just isn't fair.

That being said, I am so proud of Daniel!  He never stopped working hard this season.  He never mentioned the word quit.  Yes, he had some very disappointing tournaments but unlike some of the kids we know...he didn't just stop coming because he lost, he kept going back!  He tried his best and he poured his soul into every match.  No one can deny that Daniel has heart and if that had been enough, he would be on the medal stand at state.

 
I also love that Daniel supported his team so well.  He was always going and watching other kids and cheering them on.  I wish more of the kids on our team would do that for each other but I'm so grateful for Daniel and his desire to be a good teammate.  I also love that he always wanted to hug the kids that he beat.  He always walked them off the mat telling them what a good job they did.  It makes me proud to know that he has good sportsmanship.

 

Overall, yesterday was pretty crappy but Daniel has nothing to be ashamed of.  He had a great season with some awesome matches, some heartbreaking losses and lots of heart and determination.  It was painful calling up the hotel and canceling our reservation for the next round, but at the same time I figure I'll just put that money in savings for next year when Daniel makes it all the way to state! 

Here's a short highlight reel of Daniel's season!

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