TDT #32 - Transitioning Army Wife

One of the ways I have always done my countdowns when my  husband is away is by counting trash days.  Most of the time it isn't as daunting a number as the estimated number of days he'll be gone.  And it helps me remember to put the trash out, or rather encourage my boys to put the trash out since it's their job.  So this will be my new weekly post, and I'll just really post whatever, no real set theme.  Please feel free to join me on this adventure of counting down the time until your loved one comes home!

 A few weeks ago, my time as an FRG leader officially came to end.  It's interesting as that phase of my life just simply drifted away.  It's kind of odd to know that I'm not really affiliated with any unit even though my husband is still actively serving.  Why is this even significant to write a blog about?  Well, for the last 12 years, I have been active in FRGs, and for the majority of the past 8-10 years have served in some type of leadership position among the group. 

I feel pretty fortunate that I have had mostly good experiences with the FRG.  Trust me, I've dealt with the special kind of crazy that often comes with that type of position but I have also had some of the most rewarding experiences of my life.  I have met some of the most amazing people who I call dear friends and I've met some pretty crappy people who I hope to never see again in my life (unfortunately, those are the ones that seem to always pop back in our lives!).

I'd like to think that the opportunities I have been blessed with while serving with the different FRG's has made me a better person.  I know that I have learned compassion on a whole new level, I have also learned patience.  I have been blessed with amazing mentors who really helped me out as a young wife.  I have gained a deep appreciation for our Soldiers and made some awesome connections with many of them and their families.  I have seen Army families at their best and their worst and I have seen them endure what some can't even imagine.  Even in the toughest of times, I have felt truly blessed with the opportunity to serve in a capacity that few ever get a chance to see.  I have experienced emotions that can't even be explained and it has been worth every moment!

There have been times when I was heartbroken to leave a unit behind and hand over my Soldiers to someone else.  Other times, I couldn't get away fast enough.  I have been to points of feeling so emotionally drained and I didn't know if I could ever try again.  I have always been drawn back though, knowing that I could make a small difference...some way...some how.  My last couple years have been at a much slower pace, leading a unit while in a garrison environment.  I realized quite a while ago that my time was almost over.  It was time to hand it over to the next generation.  I hope that I've done half as good a job as those who mentored me.  I hope that those who follow behind will take care of Soldiers and their Families and love them and appreciate the opportunities that they will be blessed with.

In 25 months our time in the Army will be done.  I realize that my role has significantly changed and now my focus has to be on me and my family as we transition out.

Thank you to all who have been a part of this chapter in my life.  Thank you for all the amazing experiences and memories that I will cherish forever. 

TDT #15 - Married to the Army: Alaska

One of the ways I have always done my countdowns when my  husband is away is by counting trash days.  Most of the time it isn't as daunting a number as the estimated number of days he'll be gone.  And it helps me remember to put the trash out, or rather encourage my boys to put the trash out since it's their job.  So this will be my new weekly post, and I'll just really post whatever, no real set theme.  Please feel free to join me on this adventure of counting down the time until your loved one comes home!

Oprah has this new series on her network about Army wives.  I immediately decided that I was not going to watch it or like it.  I watched the preview and it annoyed me.  After it premiered all I heard on Facebook and Twitter was most of my Army wife friends either loving it or hating it.  I'm not going to lie...it peaked my interest.  I set up my DVR to record the episodes and I watched the first two.  The first episode really irritated me, it was so staged and the one wife that most everyone already hated made me want to scream, I almost just threw in the towel right there to not watch the show but something else drew me in.

First off, let me just say...it's TV.  Reality or not, it's TV and it's edited.  The network is still making money on the show and whether their goal is to show the rest of the world what life is like as an Army wife, it's just television.  The Military community is emotionally charged...the things we go through and endure cause us to be passionate and link some type of feeling to almost every aspect of our life.  It's just the way it is.  So there are many who felt like we didn't need any network to show us how we live our lives and certainly not some edited for drama version!  But I admit, it would be nice for the rest of America to get a glimpse of what goes on in our lives.  Though I think most of the audience is probably Military wives.

So as I said, the first episode really made me frustrated.  The one snooty wife who had to drop her husband's rank every chance she got and then she tried to reprimand, though she stated she was simply helping, the young enlisted wife, made me want to throat punch her.  There was nothing inappropriate about saying that she worked at Hooters and that is where she met her husband.  One of the things I love most about this Military life is that it is so diverse and everyone's journey is so unique.  I have met Spouses who were strippers and some who are doctors and some who worked at NASA.  Who cares where we came from.  Despite what some Spouses think (perceived status that needs a serious reality check) we are all equal.

That particular Spouse irritated a lot of people, I heard all about her on social media.  It is one of the things that made me want to watch and see what all the excitement was about.  I even laughed as I saw some people outraged, especially since THEY are "that wife".  Here's the thing...those "characters" for lack of a better term, on this show are not made up...they exist.  Maybe not all at one installation but after watching three episodes now, I can honestly tell you that I have met one of each of those wives somewhere along my Army wife journey.  

Here's the thing, despite what some people think, there is no mold when it comes to Military Spouses.  Oh, I know people think there is...that's why people say things like, "I'm not your typical Army wife" or "I'm not like the others."  No, you're not because there isn't a mold, everyone is their own person, with their own stories.  I have yet to meet, in my 16 years as an Army wife, a typical anything.  What spouses don't like to hear is all of us lumped into one and really who can blame us for that?  

So back to the girls on the show.  I think they are real and when they don't seem as real, I'm sure it's due to editing and some staging.  I wish it had been a little more diverse of a group.  Add in a junior officer spouse, male spouse and a senior enlisted spouse.  I get that they had to take what they could get and had to go through all sorts of red tape to get the show on the road to begin with, but I don't think the casting is diverse enough, but it is what it is.

What I like about the show is that the emotions are real.  I have been down their road and I find myself nodding in agreement, getting emotional and saying oh yeah...I remember that!  I love that it shows the roller coaster of emotions that you ride in this life.  The fear of the unknown.  I can relate to the young girl who's heart drops every time the doorbell rings and you haven't heard from your husband.  I have been blessed with the strong, stalwart brigade commander's wife who mentored me and helped me and other spouses through a very difficult deployment.  I appreciate the brigade commander's wife on the show because she gets it.  She is strong, yet real.  Rynn is who I relate to the most right now.  She is where I am.  I'm not going through a combat deployment, but I can relate to her trial with teenagers and separation.  I seriously want to yell AMEN when she is talking about how difficult it is raising kids on your own at this age. 

I find it amusing that people were berating the Spouses for things they said or did but I will admit I've probably done and said a lot of those things.  Picked a fight with my husband, yup.  Said inappropriate things at a get together...yup.  Nagged my husband because he didn't do things the way I think he should...oh yes.  Left my children behind while I rushed to my husband when he came home...yes..sorry boys!  I'm glad that I can say I have never had to pick up moose poop...gag me.  I will say I'm still waiting to see the spouse not so put together, wearing sweat pants, no make up and their hair looking crazy...I haven't seen that on the show and let me tell you that is reality folks!

I can't say I love the show but I will probably keep watching it.  I may do some eye rolling but so far it's because of the actions and words of some of the spouses and not all the discrepancies or absurd story lines like Army Wives.  This may be the most real it is going to get on television for the world to see and it paints a glimpse of our daily lives.  As long as people can remember it's TV and edited, I think we'll be okay.

So who else is watching Married to the Army: Alaska?  And what do you think?

Chem Spouse Day 2012

Yes, I am seriously playing catch up on the blog.  Life has been a little crazy around the Albrecht home.  June and July were crazy busy and it's not even over yet!  Before we left on vacation to Idaho I got to participate in CBRN Regimental Week.  I wrote about the ball but the following week I got to spend a couple days hanging out with other Chemical Corps Spouses.  It was pretty awesome.

The first day we took a tour of the museum (which I normally love but we had a tour guide who seriously pegged out my perky meter).  Still it was neat to go and see the stuff and we even got a special look at the basement where few people get to go.  After the museum tour we went to a luncheon where we had delicious food and where I ended up at the table with half of the past Chemical Commandant Spouses.  What was cool was we had six Commandant Spouses in attendance and it was fun listening to how different the Army was during their time of serving, whether it was current or in years past. 

Five past and our current Chemical Commandant Spouses.

The day after the museum tour and luncheon we went and had a hands-on kind of day.  Our Chemical Gift Shop had ordered a ton of "Real Housewives of the Chemical Corps" t-shirts and a lot of us wore them, it was pretty fun.  What was also fun was just hanging out with other Chem Spouses and seeing some of what our Soldiers do in their job.  We couldn't take pictures everywhere we went because some of those areas are pretty secure. 

Showing our Chemical Corps Gang Sign...the retorts, lol

This could be scary if I let it be

 After the tour of the secure area, we ventured off to put on one of the suits that our guys train in.  I never liked NBC training when I was in the Army, I always felt slightly claustrophobic in the mask and MOPP gear.  I had a slight inner struggle with myself when it came to being willing to climb into all the gear but I figured I wouldn't get this opportunity again so I went ahead and did it.  It was fun and super hot!  It certainly gave me a whole new appreciation for what my husband has endured throughout his career.  He has spent many a day in these suits and for much longer than I did.

One of my favorite people ever, Ann Wells, our post Command Sergeant Major's wife who joined us for the day.

I really am proud of my husband and the job he does.  Some of the things they shared with us about what our Soldiers go through was rather intimidating.  I have always respected my husband for what he is willing to do, but now I have a better understanding of what he goes through and has gone through over the 23 years he has been a Chemical Soldier. 

I love all the opportunities that I have been afforded when it comes to being an Army wife.

CBRN Princess

After a long week in the woods doing Girls Camp, it was nice to finish out the week going to a ball.  Our theme for Girls Camp was something to do with Happily Ever After.  Throughout the entire week, we kept reminding the girls that they were Princess in our Heavenly Father's Kingdom.  So how fitting was it that I end the week dressing up and being escorted to a ball by my Sexy Soldier!  (Who needs a prince when you have a man in uniform?)

The ball is the annual Green Dragon Ball that is kicking off the Chemical Corps Regimental Week.  We went last year and had a blast.  We got to sit at a table with nice people, not crazy people like we did last year.  One of the Soldiers at our table actually worked with Kevin before she was reassigned to an AIT unit as an AIT platoon sergeant.

What was really cool about the evening for me personally was when my name was called to receive the Carol Ann Watson Award.  I am truly honored.  What is interesting is that I am known relatively well around FLW but I guess few know that we are a Chemical Family.  Most people also know what unit my husband is assigned to and it is not part of the big Chemical Brigade here at FLW.  It's unfortunate that we have not been able to get more Chem Spouses or Soldiers from our brigade to be involved in the CBRN community here.  Because of that, I often get treated as though I don't belong.  Not by the CBRN leadership, they are all wonderful and I feel truly blessed to have gotten to know them but by others who just don't know.  At the ball alone, I was asked seven times why we were at the ball.  I admit that sometimes it irritates me but I chose that evening to just laugh it off.  For a couple of young lieutenants, I did say with a smile that my husband has been in the Chemical Regiment longer than they had been alive (23 years and counting...).

Overall it was a wonderful night.  I feel truly blessed to have received my award from Mrs. Carol Ann Watson herself.  Last year I had the opportunity to listen to her speak at a rather intimate luncheon and have just had such respect for her.

I really do love my life as an Army Spouse and even more so as a Chemical Corps Spouse.

Military Spouse Appreciation Day Blog Hop!

 

I am excited to join in on this Blog Hop Party!


My name is Nadine and I have been an Army wife for just over 16 years.  I served in the Army myself for just over 11 years and decided at that point that my boys needed me more than Uncle Sam did.  I've been a SAHM since I got out but since my boys are all in school full-time you'll find me out volunteering more than you'll find me at home during the day.

My husband has been in the Army for over 23 years but not ready to hang up his dog tags just yet.  He loves what he does and has been an excellent mentor and friend to many, including me!  We met in the Army where his first words to me ever were "Beat Your Face", now if that isn't romantic, I don't know what is!

 We have three amazing boys who are 16, 14 and 10.  We are very involved in the Boy Scout community, we believe in teaching our boys strong values that will help them in the future.  All the boys are also involved in other activities such as band, debate, football, wrestling and all are involved in our youth programs at church.

 We've been doing this Army thing our entire marriage and have experienced ups and downs.  We have been apart more than we've been together but we learned long ago that it's all about perspective and focusing on the things that matter.  This fall we will embark on another chapter of our lives as our Soldier heads off to Korea and the boys and I stay here in lovely Fort Leonard Wood, MO.  We are grateful for the opportunities the Lord blesses us with and we look forward to the growth all of us will experience!

Last but certainly not least, I have to mention our extremely loved and pampered pups.  Zoe & Sapper round out our squad and show us unconditional love and sometimes share the bed with us. 

Thanks so much for stopping by our little spot on cyber space, leave a comment so I can go and visit you!

Happy Military Spouse Appreciation Day!

I Love Empowering Army Families!

I've actually had a few awesome moments throughout the last few weeks in regards to one of the organizations I volunteer with. I have written about Army Family Team Building before and I could go on and on about how much I love it but I won't.

Like anything else in life, there are ups and downs and there are times when we find ourselves in a rut. I have been feeling that way for a few months and even considered taking a step back entirely for a while. We haven't had a lot of students and it was beginning to feel almost like more effort than it was worth. I was frustrated about feeling that way too.

Over the past few weeks I've had the chance to do briefings, teach seminars and conduct classes that have rejuvenated me and reminded me why I love what I do.

I don't get paid, people often ask me why I devote so much time to something that I receive so little in return from. This is where I disagree. I cannot describe the feelings I get when I feel that I have made a difference in someone's life. Maybe it was just something I said, a feeling I justified or just being willing to listen.

A couple weeks ago I got to facilitate another Drill Sergeant Spouse Seminar and while we had the smallest group to date, it was a wonderful experience! We had two spouses new to the trail (what they call Drill Sergeant Duty) and it was nice to end the day with them telling myself and the other facilitator that they felt so much better about what the next couple years will bring them. It made me happy.

Last week myself and another instructor got to do a briefing at our local recruiting station to Future Soldiers and their Family Members. We had sooooooooo much fun. I could relate to them because I dealt with recruiters in my own journey into the Army. It was fun joking with them about everything from their hair (and how they would miss it soon enough) to doing push-ups and just sharing information in general. It was great talking to the young man who's spouse did not speak any English and being able to let him know that there were resources available to her so she wouldn't have to feel lost and alone. He told me that he felt so much better knowing that that his wife would be okay when he went off to training.

Today we had a Level I class (also known as Army 101) where we discuss the very basics of Army life. We had a brand new spouse...she's only been married two weeks. She was so refreshing and fun! The other spouses in the group were so awesome as well. They took her under their wings right way and shared information and were so supportive in her journey of being empowered. They were all there to learn as well, but there was something about watching this young girl learn and grow right before our eyes in such a short time. The other Spouses had 6 months to 18 years experience on her. We laughed and had serious moments and just enjoyed each others company. I left today on a natural high...it was so rewarding to be around these women.

That young spouse told us that a week ago she was sitting in a hotel room, crying and hating Army life. Today she left our building excited about talking to her husband in the new Army lingo she learned and having new found battle buddies!

That my friends, is why I do what I do, for moments like that.

Military Monday: The Military Spouse's Grog

Most Military members and Spouses know what a grog is...it's a tradition at many formal events. One of my friend's recently hosted a formal tea and put together this version of a Military Spouse's Grog. I loved it from the first sentence. It was written by her husband, an Active Duty Engineer Officer. I was very moved by what he had written and with their permission, post it for you. I'm sure the basket they put together was much nicer than what I quickly gathered from what I had at home, but I really wanted to put a picture of some type with the lovely words.

Military Spouse’s Grog
(A tribute to the military spouse…from the other side)
Mike Mitchell

From the Revolutionary War to the War in Iraq, Military Spouses have set the standard for bravery, resourcefulness, and an unquenchable spirit. As their Soldier trains for combat and deploys to fight their nation’s wars, Military Spouses have sacrificed to defend the home-front. For a tribute to the countless sacrifices made by the Spouses before us, the sacrifices made by those among us, and the sacrifices yet to be made, this Military Spouse’s “grog” will be constructed in their honor.

The basket represents sympathy and service. It is representative of the wagons of old, which only contained the most essential items of the household. Spouses learned that their life was a life of change and sacrifice and only truly important and meaningful things could be placed in the basket. The Military Spouse must learn to carry the burdens of others as well as their own and to sacrifice even that which he/she has for the benefit of others. The Military Spouse knows that it is a basket that may bring their loved-one home.

The coupon divider symbolizes worldly sacrifice. During the WWII, rationing was implemented for things like fuel, tires and food items. Families needed to find ways to cut spending within the home. This led to cutting coupons and being frugal. Today, Military Spouses ration their time, taking advantage when their Soldier is home and saving while he/she is away. They have learned to sacrifice in this time, for the joy to come soon.

The cookbook represents tradition. For over 200 years, Military Spouses have collected recipes to both use and share with other military spouses. It is the wisdom from the older Spouses to the younger, as if to say to them, “I’ve been there.” When a young Spouse leaves home and must learn the hard way to take care of a family, the Military Spouses cookbook is a reminder that they can do it.

The sewing kit represents change. War has always shaped technology, medical breakthroughs, and in this case, fashion. As a result of WWII, cuffed sleeves and large hems were done away with. Clothes were simpler and less expensive. Through the years, Military Spouses learned to adapt and overcome the challenges they faced.

The tanning lotion and eyeliner pencil represent creativity. A Military Spouse is nothing, if not creative. WhenSspouses were rationing for the war effort, women would put makeup on their legs to make them darker and then run a line up the back with an eyebrow pencil so that it appeared that they were wearing nylons. Today, Military wives still use these products, but not for fake nylons. They do it as they prepare to meet someone who had been gone far too long and want to look their best has he steps off the plane and into her arms.

The red lipstick represents faithfulness and passion. The Military wife has a wild side as well and her red lips illustrate it. She wears the lipstick to signify that her next kiss will be with her Soldier and what a kiss it will be. It shows that she is confident in who she is and her ability to take care of herself.

The wrench represents strength. When men went off to war, Military Spouses had to work the fields, raise a family, fill factories, and do whatever else was needed. They simply rolled up their sleeves and literally put on pants and went to work. Today is no different. Military Spouses have proven their strength to accomplish their missions and to meet the demands placed on them by life.

The iTunes gift card represents escape. Music became more essential in times of war throughout the years. “Big Band” music ushered in WWI and WWII and could connect the Military Spouse with their Soldier at the sound of the first note. Today, music continues to connect loved-ones as well as allows the Military Spouse to escape into their thoughts and dreams. The feeling of freedom that comes through music as the Military Spouse dances in their living room or as they sit alone in their car, still parked in the driveway. The song that reminds the Spouse of when their Soldier was there and the ones that the spouse hopes never come true.

Finally, the stationary represents “the gift”. Long days and nights are all that a Soldier has during war. Time blends together as everyday seems the same and the only escape that comes from war is the brief presence of loved-ones through letters. Before emails and Skype, Spouses would sit down and thoughtfully write out the words of their heart to their Soldier. The letter would be filled of encouragement, flirtations, and promises. Today, Soldiers and Family members can see each other’s faces virtually almost every day, but the gift remains the same. Through these communications, military spouses have learned to give their Soldiers the gift of hope. That when the war is over, they have someone who loves them, waiting.

The basket is now full and fit for consumption, but unlike the grog of the Soldiers, the Spouse’s grog is consumed through the use of its contents. It is consumed through time.

Blessed with Great Military Spouse Mentors

I have said it before and I will say it again...Fort Leonard Wood, I believe, is one of the best kept secrets in the Army. We have now been stationed here for over two years and almost daily I find reasons to love this place more and more. One of the key reasons I believe this is a great place is because we have great leaders. From our Commanding General on down, our leadership is involved. Their Spouses are involved. I have been truly blessed personally to have been able to talk to so many Senior Spouses and learn from their guidance and mentorship. These are some of the most real people you will ever meet. They are humble, kind, gracious and willing. Willing to serve, willing to help, willing to step in where needed. I feel blessed to be able to count some as friends.

One of the people I respect most here at Fort Leonard Wood is the wife of our Command Sergeant Major. I have been able to go to her as a mentor, to seek her advice and to trust her guidance and judgment. It has truly been a blessing.

Today she was on platform with the First Lady Michelle Obama and Dr. Biden as they talked about helping Military Spouses transfer professional licenses across states more easily. She is such a wonderful example of a Military Spouse, having supported her husband through 32 years of this life. (Her husband is really awesome too!) She has a daughter who is also an Army wife, how lucky she is to have had such a wonderful role model.

We truly are blessed here at FLW to be in the company of such great and caring leaders, both in uniform and those who serve along with them.

Mrs. Wells, you can speak on behalf of this Military Spouse anytime!

It's So Easy to Get Spoiled

Ugh, I can't even believe that I am writing this entry but I'm all about being real and this is me being real.

Kevin is TDY this week, he was tasked with escorting two Soldiers from our Brigade to compete for an NCO/Soldier of the Year event. He'll just be gone this week...one week. You would think when he told me he was leaving for a week that he told me he was deploying for another year. No, I didn't have a breakdown or anything but I instantly thought, crap, what a week for him to be gone when we have so much on the calendar with the kids and with my volunteer obligations.

It's funny, for pretty much a decade I never really thought twice about "needing" Kevin. I know that sounds bad but his schedule was so unpredictable that I just always figured I'd be on my own. Even our first year and half here, I still had a hard time believing he really was home and that he really was available to help me when I needed it. Well I've gotten pretty comfortable with having him around. Having him help me take the boys here and there and doing various errands. He works about a quarter mile from our house and that has been SOOOO nice, plus our youngest son's school is about 1/2 mile from his office. It's been so nice having him around.

I didn't realize how comfortable I had gotten and how easy it was to get spoiled. I know the week will fly by and I'm happy that those two Soldiers have him as their sponsor. He really is a great Soldier and loves taking care of Soldiers so I hope they will see him as an asset to their journey through this competition. He is doing what he loves and even when I'm "that" wife for just a moment, I can still see the big picture.

I just want to ask one more question though..."Is it Friday yet?"

The Military Spouse Quiz

I've seen quite a few MilSpouses doing this little quiz on their blogs so I decided I'd do it to. I'm busy avoiding chores that need to be done and dinner that needs to be thrown in the crockpot!

The Milspouse Quiz

1. How did you and your spouse meet? We met in the Army while stationed at Fort Campbell...we were in the same unit and no we didn't like each other when we first met! You can read our story here.

2. How old were you when you two met? I was 18, he was 24.

3. How long have you been together? We will be married 16 years in March, we dated almost a year before that so we have been together almost 17 years.

4. Where are you and your spouse originally from? I call Idaho home because that is where I moved when I was a freshman in high school and where my parents still live. I moved around some as a kid though. Kevin was born and raised in Grand Forks, North Dakota

5. How did you feel about him joining the military? He was already in when we met and I have always supported him reenlisting. He has now served for over 20 years and still going.

6. Where did your spouse go to Basic Training? Fort Jackson, South Carolina (I went there too, 5 years later!)

7. Has your spouse ever been deployed? Yes, to Iraq a couple times

8. Ever been to his promotion ceremony? Yes, one...his last promotion was while he was in Iraq, I kind of got to see it on a video teleconference and through pictures.

9. How long have you been a military wife? Almost 16 years.

10. Did you marry him before or after he joined? After, we met because we both joined!

11. How did your husband propose? Well...he didn't. I proposed to him. If you read the Story of Us that I linked to in question #1, you read how that all went down.

12. Where did you get married? In the home of a local retired county commissioner

13. How old were you two when you got married? I was 19, he was 24

14. Did he wear his uniform on his wedding day? Nope...we were super casual...still have zero regrets about that

15. Where are you and your spouse currently stationed? Fort Leonard Wood, MO

16. Do you live on post? Yes

17. How long were you married when you had to go through your first separation? two and a half weeks...he was sent out to a long field exercise 3 days after I had our son who was born 19 days after we got married

18. What is your favorite post so far? Taegu, South Korea...LOVED it there...would love to go back someday. Our middle son was born there.

19. Do you think your spouse looks good in his uniform? He's sexy to begin with, the uniform is just an added bonus!

20. Do you think military life is more advanced than civilian life? I have noticed most Spouses don't know what this questions means or how to answer it. I wouldn't say more advanced...not even sure what that is supposed to mean. I think Military life and civilian life are DIFFERENT. They each come with their own unique challenges.

21. Do you like the benefits you receive as a military dependent? I'm grateful for them. We're coming to the end of our Military career and we will be losing some of those benefits that we currently do not pay for in a monetary manner. Nothing is "free"...much sacrifice is made for the benefits that we receive.

22. Do you have a lot of military wife friends? Yes...doing this for 16 years, you pick up friends along the journey

23. What is the hardest part of the military life? I think the separations...it's hard going in and out of routines, especially with the kids. And when the separations are a result of deployment, the added worry can be overwhelming.

24. Do you own military wife stuff? Not really, I have patriotic stuff but not a lot that specifically says Army wife

25. Do you support your spouse as a member of the military? Of course, it would make for a terrible marriage if I didn't support what consumes most of his life.

30 Days of Thanks - Day 14/I'm Still a Winner!

I am combining this post with my 30 Days of Thanks as well!

Well voting has ended for the Army Wife Network contest that I was participating in. I really dislike the word contest or even saying that I lost because that's not at all what this was for me. But whether I dislike it or not, in the end that's what it was. I was competing against two other women for this opportunity and it came down to who got the most votes (anyone else regress to high school homecoming??). Anyway, I would be lying if I didn't admit that I am slightly disappointed because I really feel this would have been an awesome opportunity for me but I think I took myself out of the running over a week ago (the voting ended on November 11th). There were some things that I saw that made me realize that this position wasn't necessarily the right fit for me and the Lord always knows best in the end anyway. I still think Army Wife Network is a wonderful resource and I'll still help on their boards when I can. I don't know the other two girls but I wish them well on their continued efforts to help other Army Families which in the end is what all three of us had in common.

While I didn't win by votes, I believe I did win in the end because I have great people in my life who support me in everything I do. When I read the comments that people posted asking for others to vote for me, I was truly humbled. I can't even begin to tell you that most of the time I don't think anyone notices what I do (because like most who volunteer, it's not about recognition or credit). Here are just a few of the comments from FB. The one that truly humbles me is my BFF's LaNita's.

I know there are amazing opportunities awaiting me. I feel truly blessed.

Melissa
Go vote for Nadine Albrecht! I have rarely met anyone with such passion AND compassion for Military Families. She definitely deserves the title of 2012 Army Wife Network Household 6! Go vote. Now. Seriously.

Amy
My friend Nadine Martinez Albrecht is one of the top 3 finalists in this contest. I would ask you who can to vote for her, please. She is Mom to 3 boys and a hubby who is currently serving in the Army. She does so much for her family, friends, & community. She is one fantastic lady and (like every military wife) amazes me on a daily basis!

Lisa
Please go in and vote for my BFF Nadine Martinez Albrecht. I can't think of anyone who deserves this more than she. I stand in awe when I see all the things that Nadine and her family does for our military. If you looked up in the dictionary "Military Spouse" it would have Nadine's picture. So please click the link and scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on her name. You don't need to register and you don't have to sign up for anything. I thank all of my friends and family for reading this and supporting my BFF!!!

LaNita
On the day I was told of Bryant's death,Nadine Albrecht, who literally was a stranger, walked away from her life and family to be there for me. She sat quietly with me for hours as I cried or rambled on endlessly about Bryant. She protected me. She encouraged others to share their memories, pictures, stories of Bryant knowing how much I needed them to share. She did not just become my friend, but also my battle buddy and guardian angel. In so many ways, she was the only light in my darkness. She gives so much to so many and I can think of NO ONE who deserves to be named the 2012 HH6 at Army Wife Network more than her. The HH6 winner will get the opportunity to be a contributing writer and moderator at Army Wife Network. They will receive a scholarship to become a Family Life Coach and will be able to further assist Army Families. She loves helping Military Families and the majority of her volunteer work (which is EXTENSIVE) revolves around that. She has devoted her life to this. If you know someone in the military or a member of a military family, she has done something that has helped to better their lives if not directly then indirectly. Voting goes until November 11th and she needs everyone's help! PLEASE VOTE FOR NADINE!!

Michael -Will all my friends vote for my mom, Nadine Martinez Albrecht? She helps a lot of Army families and this contest will help her keep doing it. Just go down half the page and vote for my mom, you don't have to register. Thank you!

Neil -scroll down and vote for my mom she likes to help and volunteers

Aimee
Vote for my friend Nadine...she rocks!!

Hayley
I normally don't ask for people to vote for anything, but if you could vote for my friend Nadine it would be appreciated as she would be AWESOME at this. Nadine was one of the first military spouses I "met" online six years ago when my husband was in Basic training and she has helped me navigate through this military life ever since. I know that if I have a question she will help me out! Please take a moment and vote for her.

Jaime
My friend Nadine would be absolutely awesome in this role.... please take a moment and vote for her! Army families would benefit greatly from the knowledge & experience that she has/will share. I know you're awesome anyway - but after reading the duties/role of the person who gets selected, well, I believe you'd be perfect for it.... so I'm just trying to help get you there! :) Plus, I'm not even an Army wife and I benefit from your knowledge ;)

Vote for me! (I'm so bad at this)

Okay, this is a post that is really hard to write because I am not good at "pimpin' myself out". I applied to be 2012's Household Six and am currently one of the top 3 finalists. I am very honored to be one of the top three and really feel like I have something to offer! I admit to feeling like a complete hypocrite since there are very few things I vote for online. I don't know why I don't like to do it, I just don't. Now I'm here asking people to please vote for me as 2012's Household 6.

I applied for this position in cyber world because I love helping Military Families, most of my volunteer work here at Fort Leonard Wood revolves around serving Military Families and I think this opportunity would help me expand that world wide. HH6 winner will get the opportunity to be a contributing writer and moderator at Army Wife Network. They will also receive a scholarship to become a Family Life Coach and will be able to further assist Army Families. I love helping Military Families and the majority of my volunteer work revolves around that.

If you have some time to spare and want to hear my interview I did for this opportunity this morning, you can click HERE! My interview starts at the 39 minute mark.

So if you feel so inclined, would you please vote for me? Voting started today and runs through November 11th! And share with your friends! Click the button below and scroll halfway down the page for the poll!

Thank You!

Chem Spouse Day: Red Phase

The last event I participated in as a Spouse for Chemical Regimental Week was the Chem Spouse Day. It was interesting to say the least.

The Chemical Brigade in charge planned a fun day for us. I have to admit nothing we really did was new to me after serving in the Army but it was fun to be around other Chem Spouses.

We rappelled down this animal. And shimmied across the various rope bridges to the left.

We got to watch these awesome Soldiers do awesome rappels. This one is called the Spider and it was neat to watch him start out one direction and turn himself around.

This Soldier did the Australian Rappel for the first time ever and a demonstration for us. It was awesome!

We went out in a HMMWV (Humvee). I will admit that was pretty boring for me after having driven them. I kept waiting for the exciting part, lol. Before that we went into a simulator that gave us scenarios of driving overseas. I think too many OPSEC/SAEDA briefings kept me from taking pictures while we were in there.

We had lunch at the DFAC, it was NOT spectacular, but it was food.

We had a Gold Star mother in our presence. She had come to the Sunrise Service to honor her son and was invited to come out with us. It was truly humbling. I cannot imagine how hard it was for her to walk through the journey her son had went on during his early years in the Army. She said it was hard for her to see what he had done and where he had been. God Bless SSG Stephen Sherman.

Overall it was a fun day and if nothing else I walked away from it with a promise that next year I'll be in much better shape and a lot lighter. I was proud of myself for doing the physical events, it's been 16 years since I went to Air Assault School and I was pretty proud of how much I remembered when it came to the swiss seat and the "L" position.

Green Dragon Mama

As I mentioned in my previous post, this week is Chemical Regimental Week. The entire week is set up for CBRN Soldiers and their families. They had a golf tournament, a run (well that was cancelled since it was pouring down rain), they will have a sunrise service to honor the Fallen CBRN Soldiers, tons of exhibits and many other events. They have events just for the Chem Spouses as well. Today we had a luncheon where our guest of honor was Mrs. Carol Ann Watson. Her husband is a retired Major General who served for 35 years, all of which was spent as a Chemical Corps Officer except for two years when he did his combat branch time. Mrs. Watson shared with us that she married him two days before he went in the Army so she served right along side him during his entire career. Her husband started the Chemical Corps Regimental Association and she has an award named in honor of her. She was introduced to us as the mother of the Chemical Corps (and she joked that she was glad that they didn't say Grandmother, I just loved her humor!)

I really enjoyed listening to her speak and listening to her words of wisdom. There were many things that she shared with us but what really stood out to me was when she said "we" served. I love that because that is how I feel with Kevin. "WE" serve together, he does his part and I do mine. Our journey in Army life is a joint effort, we may have different responsibilities but we travel together.

She also had us chuckling about some mishaps and moments of where maybe she shouldn't have said this or that. I loved it because everyone in the room could relate to having some of those moments. It was really an intimate setting, there was maybe 20 of us in the room so it was really fun. We all could have probably listened to her all day long. She was just fun.

What I loved most was that she was so approachable and was a reminder that no matter what rank any of our husbands are that we are all human. I feel that it truly a pleasure and honor to get advice from such a wonderful example. She is 75 years old and still going strong.

As an added bonus, I figured out that her son is stationed here at FLW and her daughter-in-law is another AFTB instructor who I really respect. I might be the only person on FLW who didn't put two and two together. I had a good chuckle to myself about that!

Spouse Clubs

I've been asked by a few people about joining Spouse Clubs on different installations. I really thought long and hard before deciding to write this because my opinion isn't very respected on this matter in most cases. I've always been honest so I'll continue with that trend.

I have been a part of great Spouses' Clubs on different installations and I've been part of not so great Spouse Clubs.

Some installations have all ranks and those can be a great thing or not. Some installations have Officer or Enlisted Spouse Clubs and I've always quite enjoyed those ones. When Kevin and I were dual Military there were Spouse Clubs who didn't define me as a Spouse and therefore I was not allowed to be a part of their clubs...I'd like to say we've come a long way since then but it was only 2 1/2 years ago when I found out a friend of mine who is an Active Duty officer married to another Active Duty officer was declined membership in her Spouse club at her duty station because she was Military herself. It's really a shame.

Quite a few years ago while we were stationed at Fort Knox, I was a part of the Enlisted Spouses Club and I loved being a part of that organization. My favorite part was the NCO wives who has been there forever...who had husbands who had served in Vietnam and even a few who has served in Korea and World War II. I loved these women, I learned so much from them and they had such pride in their Enlisted men. I felt so proud to serve with them and really respected their guidance and their love. I had such a wonderful experience that when we got orders to move to our next duty station, I was looking forward to being a part of the ESC there...sadly their program sucked. I contacted them every way they had available..sending a message via their website, emailing the contact, calling the contact and even sending a letter to the address on their site. I never got contacted. About two years into our time there I ran into their Club President and when I mentioned that I had never heard back from them, she said.."oh that's too bad" and walked away. I wanted to give her the finger, seriously. I figured it was their loss and moved on.

When we moved here, I found out the Spouse club was an all ranks and I thought that would be fun. What I found out was it wasn't the club for me. There are many people who enjoy the club but it wasn't a good fit for me and this is why. They say it's an all ranks club but they don't go out and really recruit the junior enlisted. When I asked at a meeting if we could figure out a way to get our junior enlisted spouses involved and help them have a good Spouse Club experience, I was met with a negative attitude. In my opinion, they state they want an all ranks club but that's not what their actions say to me. Don't get me wrong, there are a few junior enlisted spouses in the club and they hold key positions but the majority of the members are officer's wife or senior enlisted. I was disappointed and felt that I couldn't be a part of that type of organization. There were other things I didn't agree with and when questioned, I was ignored or felt lied to. I truly am happy for those who have fun in the club here but I did not and will probably not give it another chance while we are here. If we happen to move again before retirement I may try at another installation but I'll just see what is going on in my life.

My recommendation for everyone would be to try it for yourselves, everyone has to have their own experience. I don't regret my experiences, I just know what's right for me and what isn't.

Goodbye Until We Say Hello Again

" The return makes one love the farewell."

One thing I've learned from having gone through so many separations in our marriage is that regardless of how long you have to say goodbye for it still sucks. The hubby is off for a short adventure somewhere in Virginia and it's only for about a week and a half but I still hate it. I used to get frustrated with myself because I couldn't figure out why saying goodbye for a week or two was so hard when we had endured separations of over a year. And the simple answer is that after going through long and challenging separations we have learned to appreciate the time we do have together and every goodbye is hard, no matter how long it will be before you say hello again. So safe travels my love, here's hoping the week flies by and we are saying hello again soon!

Toughest Job in the Army/Military?

I know we've all see them, these stickers on cars or on people's blogs/Facebook pages maybe even on twitter. I'm not sure how they make you all feel but they kind of annoy me. I was given one quite a few years ago, not sure where it is right now, it never made it on my car. When I go to pick up my son at school there is a parent who's mini-van is covered with different decals, including this one.
The day after Veterans Day one of my Facebook friends left a comment on my wall telling me thanks that being a Military Spouse was one of the toughest jobs in the Military. I responded with an "I don't think so". I knew she meant nothing malicious with her comment but I will admit that it did offend me.

Considering what our Troops go through everyday, it is an insult to me to say I have one of the toughest jobs in the Military. I don't sleep in tents while there is a sandstorm going on. I haven't had to watch my friends die or get seriously hurt right before my eyes. I haven't had to participate in ramp ceremonies. I don't have to wear gear that is a good portion of my own body weight and I don't have to wear it in extreme heat or cold. I'm not stuck living with people I may not really like for a year or more. And I could go on.

Don't get me wrong, I have tough days as a result of all the aforementioned trials my husband deals with but I'm doing it as a virtual outsider. Yes, the memorial services I have attended have been hard and often the loneliness of being home without the person I love most gets the best of me. But I have a lot of choice. I can choose to stay home or go out. I can choose who I want to interact with. I can choose to be miserable or to tolerate and make the best of it. I am lucky that when my husband goes I have three boys to keep me company. While my husband may have friends in his unit that isn't always the case.

It's tough sometimes loving the job my husband has but being an Army wife isn't the toughest job because it's not tough at all to love my husband who happens to be in the Army.

The Great Rank Debate Part Two!

Just so you know where I'm going with this, be sure to read Part 1. One of my dear friends brought up another point that I feel is important so that is what part 2 will be about.

As I said in my previous entry, no one really cares about people's rank HOWEVER, there is still protocol. While it did annoy me that the officer's wife told me she couldn't have dinner with us because my husband was enlisted, there is certain protocol (and trust me that wasn't it, that was a guy on an ego trip).

It is NOT kosher for junior enlisted to be hanging out with senior NCOs or Officers. And really that rule is in place to protect ALL parties. But it's not abnormal, especially with the current Op Tempo of our Armed Forces to create a tighter bond and hang out when they return home. For instance, we often have section get togethers to help build troop morale. But those are done in large groups, not one on one.

No one ever wants to be put in a position where they feel they are being taken advantage of or that they are the ones taking advantage of others. I have seen numerous instances where people abuse their power. And I have seen many instances where people don't even think of their positions.

So while you shouldn't put your position in the Military on a pedestal for others to bow down to, you also want to be careful to protect yourself and those placed under you. Even as a spouse. While I like to think that people are truthful, it's not unheard of for people to be your friend based on your spouses' rank. That's one thing that annoys me about the show Army Wives, they constantly show the abuse of power and the whole "who you know" concept. Ridiculous.

The Great Rank Debate

What?!?! I'm not supposed to mention rank? Oh?!?! That's considered "wearing" my husband's rank if I even mention it? Oh geez, I have pictures posted on my blog where my husband's rank is exposed! I even congratulated him a while back when he got promoted! Well shame on me!!!

Actually, no, not shame on me. I think the whole rank debate is ridiculous. While I do see everyone's perspective and have even tried to explain to many new Military wives why it could be seen one way or another, I truly believe that too many people put too much stupid stress over a really silly thing. There are so many other things going on in the world that the debate over what your husband's rank is is pretty insignificant in the big scheme of things.

Now that being said, I will say it's annoying when women think it defines who they are but you know what if that's what those people want, so what? If someone wants to not be friends with you because your husband is lower ranking than theirs, then again, so what...is it really such a big loss?

I remember when I first moved to Fort Hood and was going to finally meet a girl I had "known" online for quite a few years. When I mentioned that we should all get together for dinner she told me that her husband had said no because my husband is enlisted and hers was an officer. You know what? I told her that was stupid and her husband was stupid but to each their own. So I didn't have to be tortured through a dinner that would have most likely been painful and I didn't have to waste any of my time on close-minded people. I also had a friend, someone I had been friends with for over a decade who told me she had been heartbroken when she had to quit being friends with so many when her husband got promoted. I was totally shocked! I decided to quit being friends with her before she had a chance to dump me, had to be ahead of the game you know!

I have numerous other stories I could share, and I know many of you reading this have some to share as well. Here's my point, it doesn't really matter what rank your husband is. It's all in your attitude.

And after 17 years affiliated with the Military and the whole politics of awards based on rank, well yes, that is a whole different story. And again it's all about the attitude. Believe it or not people see through all the crap. They know who is sincere and who isn't. So be yourself! It's so much better than playing games. Trust me, you can survive in the military without playing games. I promise, life isn't like an episode of Army Wives.

I am not going to spend time editing photos or watching what I say when I am proud of my husband. Oh and I'm going to go somewhere few people go. I cannot stand when people say that he earned his rank, I didn't. While I am not going to wear his rank, I am not going to stand by idly and agree with that statement. I have traveled this journey with him for over 14 years. I have studied for boards with him, I have picked up, dropped off, ironed and starched many uniforms. I have dropped everything to take him something that he needs. I have endured many goodbyes, many hellos, most laden with numerous tears. I have been his therapist, his cheerleader and his reality check. My husband has not walked this journey alone, and while he worked hard to get where he is, he has done so with me by his side. And not only me but my boys, we have all earned his rank in some way.

I'm not going to change my screen name to his rank, I'm not going to introduce myself by his rank. But I am also not going to hide it away because he has worked hard to get here and he hasn't walked that journey alone.

Freedom Friday, May 7, 2010

In 1984 President Reagan proclaimed the Friday before Mother's Day of each year to be Military Spouse Appreciation Day in recognition of the "countless personal sacrifices" military spouses have made in support of the Armed Forces from the earliest days of the Continental Army.

I am proud to be a Military Spouse but even more, I am proud to be an Army wife and so what I share with you today is the history of the Army Wives Seal.

I wish ALL of my fellow Military Spouses a wonderful day!

The Army Wives Seal

The eagle at the top of the circle represents the Army Wife, who in protecting her nest, also protects the flag and the future it represents. Alert and poised, she is ready to defend either when the need arises.

As the ultimate goal of her husband's profession is peace, so it is hers. The olive branch held by the eagle represents this peace; her hope for an end to wars for her husband and her children.

The lyre, symbol of harmony, gentility and romance, surrounds the four phases of her life that she holds dear.

The cradle represents her children, her Mother - her own Motherhood. The sheaf of wheat represents the staples and stability she provides for her family - her duty. The grapes represent the social life, the wine, fun, sense of humor - her lighter side. The open book represents her individuality and personal self-fulfillment through knowledge and wisdom. The person she is and becomes - her personal self.

The double circle enclosing all is her wedding band, symbol of eternity and never ending love. This circle is broken only by the eagle, here a symbol of her duty to country. For the Army Wife, the break in the circle represents the many separations and the possible ultimate sacrifice.