The Best Part of the Royal Wedding

No, I didn't watch the Royal Wedding. I finished all my college coursework EVER last night, so you know what I did? I passed right out, slept really late, and loved every minute of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for the royal couple and it's awesome and Kate looked totally gorgeous, but I knew all the news stations would be playing clips all day and social media would be all over everything. I was totally right. There's even a GIF floating around of their kiss, which is adorable.

But the best picture to come out of this whole thing?

A True Work of Horror

I don't scare easily. I laughed during The Exorcist and was almost entirely unphased during Paranormal Activity. But a YouTube series that's probably cheaper than dirt to make has me entirely freaked out, even though I know the entire thing is fake. It's Marble Hornets, and if you're familiar with Slender Man lore on the internet you know all about it. If not, don't turn to Google - just watch the introduction and Entry #1 and see what happens.

It's like a combination of H. P. Lovecraft, Signs, The Ring, and a good version of The Blair Witch Project. Really unnerving, scary, and a well-done mystery.

You May Not Kiss The Bride

With stuff about the Royal Wedding plastered just about everywhere you go, more and more things about the Royal Brits make me go WTF!

If you read this article you will see that there won't be a kiss at the end of the ceremony.

It's just not done in the Church Of England.

Hmmm

Really?

That's all too Hollywood?

Really?

Seems to me they don't kiss because that would make them appear human. After all kissing at the end of the wedding isn't something new, or something that Hollywood made up.

Funny thing is I found this info on several websites

And then there is the kiss at the end of the wedding ceremony. In ancient times, the kiss was legally binding and signified mutual acceptance of the contract of marriage. It is said that the bride and the groom "exchanged a bit of their souls" with the breath of a kiss!

So my advice to England's royalty.

Get over yourselves!

To Parody Or Not To Parody

Lady Gaga turned Weird Al down the first time he asked her if he could parody her song Born This Way.

She has since changed her mind.

But really!

Having Weird Al parody your song is a compliment of the highest degree. Even if the song is silly, Weird Al does everything tastefully.  I can't imagine why she turned him down the first time.

Go to Youtube and check out Perform This Way  you'll get a laugh, because it is more a lampoon of Gaga than the song...which for the most part stinks.

Weird Al, at least makes it worth listening to.

Celebrity Gossip Sites Breed Hatred

I love to read gossip just as much as anyone else. I love to know the crazy stuff that millionaires are up to, but what I can't stand about sites like Popeater.com are the comments to the posts.

Most of the time they make my head want to explode!

There are always a handful of people wishing someone dead. Bashing someone or calling them fat or ugly.

Crikey.

Jealous much?

Granted I don't find artists like Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus supremely talented, but some people cross the line.  Sure you can state an opinion, even with a little snark, but some of the comments are really nasty.

If you don't like someone, why comment on the article? Why would you even read it.

It is even worse on News websites for anything political. I swear Obama is more hated than Bush...and jeeze...I don't think he's done anything to deserve it.

Goes to prove what a bunch of racist, hate filled individuals live in this country.

ARGH

Want to Be in a Newspaper?

The Tribune Review has a reporter on the prowl for people with stories of how they've been impacted by inflation. If you have something to say - and I know plenty of people do - contact Tom Olson by e-mailing him at tolson@tribweb.com or calling 412-320-7854.

One of the great things about being a writer is giving people the opportunity to tell their stories. Show everyone from your experiences what's going on and try to make a difference.

So Long Sarah Jane Smith

Elisabeth Sladen the actress best known for portraying Sarah Jane Smith, companion to Doctor Who has passed away. She had been battling cancer for a long time.

I can't remember when I last felt so bad about a celebrity death. I love Doctor Who and Sarah's character has always been one of my favorites on the show. I especially loved her new series The Sarah Jane Adventures.

She was such a beautiful and talented lady.

Why Eating Healthy Sucks

I've tried many times to go the healthy route. I've bought cook books and diet books. I subscribed to the Hungry Girl emails.

You know what?

All of these doctors, authors, TV people do it wrong.

Not that I know how to do it right, but they all write their books and doll out recipes and advice for people who are single and likely living alone or have lots of money to kill.

I want someone to come up with healthy eating on a budget. OK, on a college budget. I may be employeed full time, but I'm pretty sure there are college kids that are making more than I am.

That 4 year degree really did me good.

But back to Budget Friendly Healthy Eating.

I want to be full and satisfied, but I don't want to have to spend $30 on an internet order to get vitatop muffins. I don't want to mail order strange noodles to replace spaghetti, because

1. I can't afford it.

2. The rest of my family will kill me.

Why can't these people come up with stuff that won't make the person...erm dieting feel left out at the supper table?

Oh yeah, they like to torture us.

And this is why we all go to McDonald's and order a Quarter Pounder.

Rant ended...I'm hungry

I Don't Understand Ayn Rand

In high school, I had teachers talk about Ayn Rand and how great she was and how everyone needs to read Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead. So finally, in college, I've made it to the latte - The Fountainhead - and over 100 pages in, I'm trying to figure out what the hype was about because really, she doesn't deserve it.

While her ultra-conservative views are definitely disconcerting, the main problem for me right now is The Fountainhead is incredibly boring. So far, it's a bunch of architects drawing and talking about drawing and going through architect drama. Nothing is happening. And I have lots more pages to go.

Going along with that is the fact that the characters are incredibly flat. They're all simple and they're all alike, to the point that I have trouble distinguishing between them. And because of that, I don't care about any of them. The dialogue is unrealistic and cliched. And the characters are unlikeable - they're all self-interested and boring, with nothing notable about them.

Am I alone in this?

Things That Make Me Go Hmmmm and Woo hoo

~ Republicans passed a budget that will slash social safety net programs like food stamps and Medicaid and fundamentally restructure Medicare health care for the elderly. Way to go fucktards. I can't believe people voted for you.

~ Charlie Sheen is organizing a Bi-Polar Awareness Week. Maybe he should become aware of it..and get some help himself!

~ Miley Cyrus won't be touring the US because she doesn't feel the love here. Hmmm. Could it be because we know she hasn't got talent. But then again, people still watch Idol....so that really can't be it...maybe we're just sick of her!

~ OMG OMG OMG there's going to be a Men In Black III. I have no idea why that fills me with such glee. Aw hell..the movies are such fun, and Will Smith is so damn cute! I can't wait.

~ Drew Carey has a new Improv-A-Ganza show on GSN! Yay! Not as good as Whose Line, but it still gets a squee from me

Random News Related Thoughts

~ A Chicago school banned kids from bringing their lunches. OMG! I'm getting sick of this country telling us what to eat. Apparently freedom isn't really what this country is all about. All I can say is they better make damn good lunches in that school and they better have options to cater to all the food allergies out there.

~ The republicans running for president in 2012. Pardon me while I overuse OMG, but OMG!!!! And Donald Trump? Please no! He'd fire us all and sell us to the Chinese to pay off the debt.

~ The nuclear disaster in Japan: Again OMG do they not realize how many cancer deaths there are going to be in the next 50 years as a result of this. Why can't we come up with ways of living that actually help us. But then again that is a republican thing...make more money...who gives a shit about people and the environment.

Do I sound like a bleeding heart liberal? Maybe it is because I am.

Who to Follow on Twitter: The Reckoning

I know tons of people who still can't get on board with the Twitter thing, especially my classmates. I understand this. In some ways, it's a great tool for writers and funny people. And there are plenty of funny people around. I've highlighted some before, but they just keep on popping up.

White Girl Problems: Oh, white girls. Our lives are just SO HARD.

PimpBillClinton: What if Bill Clinton was a total pimp? Oh, wait...

fsmikey: For the Pittsburghers - Mikey of Kiss FM's Morning Freak Show. He's up on all the latest pop culture nonsense, Pens news, and Fayette County nonsense. And he loves my Fayette County blog.

Texts from Last Night: What happens when you're bad drunk texts from last night meet the internet.

BreakingNews: It's not all funny all the time. Links to articles, quick information, etc. This was great for following the news in Egypt as it happened for quick, real-time updates.

Jon Stewart Is the Greatest Human Alive

Glenn Beck has announced that he's leaving Fox and I'm weeping for joy. Jon Stewart, on the other hand, is busy doing the most spot-on impression and parody of Beck that the world has ever seen.

You can watch the full episode over on the Daily Show website here.

Must We Remake Everything?

I'm horrified after having watching the trailer for Arthur.

I know that Russell Brand is apparently the next big thing but seriously....Arthur is a true classic and I'm sure Dudley Moore is rolling over in his grave for it.

Is nothing sacred?

Apparently not.

It is also apparent that there's a total lack of creativity in Hollyweird if we have to recycle films that are only 30 years old.

So if you have a desire to see Arthur, I beg you not to.

If you want to see the film, netflix the original film and it's sequel, starring Dudley Moore and Liza Minnelli. Those will be worth your dollar.

Because Covers Are Fun

If you saw any commercials for the Pens/FSN a season or so ago, you heard The Clarks' cover of "What a Wonderful World." But chances are you haven't had en equally epic cover - that of Punchline.

Somehow, pop-punk makes it even happier.

I'm So Glad I Don't Live In The City

Once again the Port Authority has proven how inept they are.  Because they can't run a company, several bus routes have been discontinued leaving many people with no way to get to work.

This was posted on several of the major news channels facebook pages last week, and there is always an idiot troll that says one of two things:

1. Buy a car! : Really? The cost of owning and commuting to work in the city is pretty damn expensive. You have to pay to have a parking spot in most areas of the city, not to mention the cost of parking when you go to work. There's a reason why many people don't drive or own vehicles.

2. I don't use public transportation so I don't think my tax dollars should pay for something I don't use.

The second one really got me, because the mindset is that only people that are uneducated take public transportation. They forget that students use the buses. Buses are useful. I'm sure if I lived in the city, I'd use them. I used to take the 88 Transit bus to my college before I had a car.

I'm so sick of people coming down on the poor.  Telling them to get a better job or that they are lazy because they aren't making a lot of money.

That mindset pissed me off because I have a sibling that's used it on me.  Sure I could probably have a better paying job, but I wouldn't be able to be there for my parents as much as I am now. Sure I'd like to have more money, but I would prefer to have my parents alive and happy more than that. 

What I find is that this mindset belongs to most Republicans. Screw poor people, just as long as the rich keep getting richer.

It disgusts me.

So much about life disgusts me right now.

Fallon Does It Again

You've undoubtedly heard Rebecca Black's "Friday." Unless you're like me, hear people complaining these things, and make it a point to avoid them until one day you happen to see it linked and click it just to see what all the whining's about.

The good news is it makes all the internet memes make sense.

The other good news is it spawned the most badass video.

But best off all, Jimmy Fallon once again nails it with a brilliant cover. Just watch and love.

Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy Part 2

The more I listen to country music, the more I've determined that I'd like to save a few horses! Have I mentioned that I think that the song I'm referencing is pretty vile?

Never mind that...if I were going to ride a cowboy or two...here are a few more hotties from the country music charts....sadly a lot of them are married.

Sadly, Tim McGraw is taken by Faith Hill. Damn and blast, but that doesn't stop a girl from looking and drooling a little bit right?

He also stars in the movie Country Strong. I've heard he was actually pretty good in it, playing along side, Gwenthe Paltrow.

I'm not sure why people think she deserves a recording contract, her voice is only passably good.

~sigh~

Such is the way of things in the music business these days.

Next up is Billy Currington.

I pretty much think that this picture speaks for itself. Not that it really has to say much.

I mean really?

Who needs words when you can look at that?

~ pardon me while I wipe the drool off my monitor!

Oo La La!

I'm not sure I can go on....

I mean...

Whoa!

OK, now that I've regained my composure, or something close to it.

Sadly Joe Nichols has his clothes on in this picture.

If only tequila made HIS clothes fall off.

So once again, I have to say, like it or not, country music has some pretty damn good looking artists.

Now if you don't mind, I'm going to go drool a bit at this hunks, and maybe even hunt down some pictures of some other country music hotties for the next installment of

Save a Horse, Ride A Cowboy!

Enjoy the eye candy!