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Showing posts with label legacies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label legacies. Show all posts

Saturday, January 10, 2015

What chapter are you on?

(our granddaughter Jasmine, Hubby and me at Redfish)


Forget what you heard or read about retirement.
Forget what your idea of a perfect retirement is.
Forget the cruises, the cottage by the sea, the ideal life you thought you wanted in retirement.
What you need is to be among young people for the rest of your life.

There. That's the secret to old people's happiness. Keep yourself available to young people and your life continues to be fun, unpredictable, full of pleasant surprises, and most of all, engaging and distracting. If you have to spend all your disposable income to stay close to your grandchildren and great-grandchildren, you will not regret it.

You'll need more distractions as you grow weak, infirm, grumpy.

Distracting? Yes! Young people are spontaneous dis- tractors. They will jump up and start dancing, or break into a song, drive off to the supermarket to pick up ingredients for ice cream at the drop of a pin. Young people will distract you from what worries you the rest of the time. With them around, you only see the arc of their lives, the future still unfolding with millions of possibilities, rather than the way your knees send shooting pains every time you sit on the toilet seat.

You'll need to see how your money can improve your grands' future.

Really? Can't you just spend it? No. Your doctor, pharmacies and clinics have you tied down already. You might have some fun at the mall. But since you have no more room in your house for extra anything, what's the use? You could go out to dinner every night. Yes. But you are diabetic, and eating out caused you to become so. Now, you have to settle for salads and fish at most places, with no extra salt or butter or anything. You should have gone out to dinner in your twenties, and then to the gym. But you had neither the money, nor the time to do either of these.

You need to live a year full of possibilities.

How? You may not see much in the way of possibilities for yourself, except perhaps needing new reading glasses, replacing that bridge in your mouth, and getting the local handyman clean the gutters at the end of winter. All routine events. But see life that your grandchild in college is living, and your memories of those days remind you to go shopping and pack up a care package for the youngster. You would have loved getting those extra socks in winter; jars of peanut butter; even a special delivery of pizza during final weeks.

Life will teach your grands many lessons.

But you, and only you can teach him/her that family remains close through thick and thin. That distances don't count any more. That mistakes help your footing. That knowledge is lost if not applied. That everything we do, and say, and convey through small gestures, everything adds up to create our soul, to give us patterns and attitudes and desires that help us thrive under all circumstances that will appear in our travels through life.


Saturday, October 15, 2011

What's on your "bucket" list?


Bucket lists are ultimate lists, things we all want to do before we die.  This picture, taken at a friend's house reminds me of the bucket list we had back then.

!. Top on the list, traveling!
 Here in this living room, we learned about China and how we could jump in and join the rest of our family, (in the mirror) who were about to take that plunge.  That summer, 2007 our roof had to be replaced, and we never took that China trip.

2. Get Healthy!
This item has moved up to #1. It is not one activity, but a whole life choices of activities, including many decisions that seem unrelated. Buying a new mattress, for instance, comes under this item on the list, as sleeping through the night becomes more and more of a dream.

3. Conserve our money!
This is counter-intuitive! We are no longer wage-earners, no longer anticipating stock growth or big windfalls from promotions. Our expenses seem to get bigger, not less with age. Instead of how do we give away or spend our money, we have to practice frugality. Again!

4.Stay engaged!
When we were working stiffs, our goal was to have enough money to escape somewhere, away from everything and everyone, on a cruise without people, a tourist attraction without tourists. Now, we have to concoct ways to meet new people, make new connections, stay on top of the news, involved with our communities, with worldly issues.

5. Pass on the wisdom.
How do we tell our children to work hard, but not to forgo pleasures and trips that will enhance their lives; how to listen to their inner dreams and make them live dreams.  From where we sit, life doesn't give you unlimited chances.

Yes, the bucket list is now a to do list for Today.
What can I do now!

2. 

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

"When I was your Age."

I am alone writing a series of stories and letters titled, "When I was Your Age", a memoir that will be a finished product by December. When I am not reading or blogging, or at the doctor, or volunteering, I'm polishing that book of mine.

There is so much we want to tell our children and grandchildren before we die: stories of how life was back in our days, snippets of historical significance, important events that our grandchildren will read in history books.

Our memories become the legacy we leave to our children. I may not live to see the birth of all my grandchildren. Many people write books of recipes, with stories to go with each dish. These tidbits add so much meaning to those future days when dishes are shared and someone will talk about Nonna and her famous spaghetti sauce.

My book took two years to complete. Unlike other projects, I had a difficult time being objective. I'm too close to the events, too touched by the emotions. I am still trying to do a good editing job before I shop around for an agent.


Should I pass tomorrow, my stories and letters will continue to speak louder than any piece of jewelry or endowmnet I leave behind.