Act of Valor

I went to see Act of Valor over the weekend. I won't talk too much about the content because I don't want to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it. I will say that I truly enjoyed the movie. I thought it was well done and showed the Navy Seals and Riverines in action without giving away real trade secrets. I really liked the way they depicted the camaraderie of the Navy Seals and of the families. I thought it would be more of a tear jerker than it was but most of it was action oriented.The movie was a fairly typical military action movie. And if you don't like that kind of movie I would suggest you avoid it. But I loved it and I would recommend it.   

A few observations about the crowd. We went to the 4:30 pm showing at a theater where you can order dinner and drinks. The show seemed to be sold out. There were a number of people in the audience that appeared to be military. There were some young kids which I was surprised by. The movie wasn't super graphic but it got the point across and there was some language. For the most part once the movie started the audience was quiet (quieter than normal) except for the woman in front of me. First she was annoyed because they got there late so she missed her opportunity to order food so she had to go out to do it. Then she proceeded to get up every 20 minutes or so to go get more food and alcohol.But the final straw for me was during one of the final very tense fighting scenes when she decided to go on Facebook on her phone to read updates and nudged her significant other to read them. So during a serious scene in the movie I have this crazy bright smart phone in my line of sight. It was extremely distracting and to me it seemed like something that could have waited until later. I was going to ask her to put it away but about the time I was ready to say something she put it away. I suspect what happened is that her guy wanted to come and she did not so she didn't care about watching the movie. I guess I figure for the cost of a movie I wouldn't waste my money coming to see something I didn't want to see.

So did you see any good movies this weekend?

Monday Randomness

 Ok I'm slightly annoyed I had a nice long post about Random things typed up and when I hit publish only the last two came up so I'm retyping this with the hope that I will remember everything. Grrr...

• Whitney Houston - I'm sorry she died and I truly feel for her daughter. I hope we don't get too caught up in making her into something bigger than she should be just because she died younger than she should have. 

• Snow - I love snow and on Saturday night we got a whole inch (in this area that's a big deal to me that's nothing) and it was very pretty on Sunday morning. By Sunday afternoon it had melted.

• Knee Update -  I went to the Dr this morning and she wants me to increase my ibuprofen usage she seems to think this will take care of the worst of it for now. This made me happy since I didn't want surgery at all.

• Shamrock Marathon/Towne Point 8K -I'm still ok to do the 8K but I need to walk it NO RUNNING and I need to pace myself so back to training I go! 

• Knitting - my cowl is almost done then I plan on moving on to a hat for the hubby. I'll post pictures when it is done.

• Deployments are easy huh? - a girlfriend of mine has been dating a military guy for the past 5 months and they are unfortunately going to experience their first deployment (her first not his). On Saturday she told me "the deployment will be easy, I'm not worried about it at all, I know I can handle it because it's easy." I pray it is easy for her but in the event that it is not I will be there to support her however I can.

•  Stirring the Pot - the original post by an young Army wife that contained anti-Guard material is gone but there have been responses all over the MilSpouse community. I admit I had some negative responses of my own but I think Wife on a Roller Coaster had the best response on her blog.

• Redecorating - I need want to do something to our bedroom. I want to get new bedding, new curtains, new paint, everything. I think part of this is having him gone and part of this is spring fever. I haven't decided what exactly but here are some of my inspirations...

Amy Butler Morning Blossom Sheet Set

Home by Steve Madden, Sanibel Comforter Set

Natori Bedding, Sumatra Collection

Quick Fix

Source

When it comes to weight loss a quick fix would be nice. But it is unrealistic. I've struggled with my weight for years and I admit with J being gone and my parents divorce I've struggled more with emotional eating than I thought I would.

At some point I honestly believe I've stalled my metabolism. So I decided to try the B-Complex shots and a
"Quick Fix" 2 Week Plan to jump start your weight loss. It consists of a weekly B-Complex shot, a weekly Consultation, and your meals for two weeks are three shakes a day and a regular meal. Seems easy enough right?

Well here's the problem I love the B-Complex shots but I can't drink the shakes. I think the chocolate ones are horrible. The vanilla ones I actually like but they both have aspartame in them and aspartame causes migraines for me. But in addition to not really liking them I've determined I like food and I would rather eat healthy meals than drink my meals.

I guess I should have known better with the name "Quick Fix" it wasn't going to be the best solution to my weight loss. But I think that is the thing about weight loss we're always looking for the next best option.

Currently as I sit at my desk I have the following books next to me...

Choose to Lose by Chris Powell (Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition)

Don't Quit Get Fit by Vicki Heath (Assoc. Director, First Place 4 Health)

Our Lady of Weight Loss by Janice Taylor

All is Forgiven, Move On by Janice Taylor

Give God a Year, Change Your Life Forever by Carole Lewis

Notice a trend? To be fair I'm reading these for the Bible study I'm leading on Thursday nights about weight loss but still that is five books about losing weight or getting healthy. It is crazy to me how many resources are out there for losing weight and yet so many of us still struggle with weight loss. I guess that's because there really isn't a "quick fix" for losing weight.

Be True to Yourself

I watched the movie "What's Your Number?" last night and it is a funny and sweet movie that I recommend. It was definitely worth the watch. Without giving away the story too much the main character was trying to find Mr. Right by going back through her exes. And she was also trying to find herself and her future.

Part of the story line was how she changed herself to fit each guy. And I got to thinking about how many of us have done or do that in our romantic lives. I started looking back at my exes and my relationship with them. The main one was my ex-husband he wanted a quiet, demure, Mrs. Beaver type housewife, who had the house spotless and dinner on the table all while wearing pearls. He wanted a very conservative wife both in personality and dress. I tried desperately for 7 years to be that person until I woke up and realized that was not who I was, who I wanted to be, or who I should be.

After our divorce I dated another ex (seemed like a good idea at the time) which ended up in me trying to conform once again to his needs. When that relationship ended. I spent some much needed time single. During this time I looked deep into myself to determine who I was, what made me happy, what ticked me off, and what I couldn't care less about. I realized where I stood politically, where I stood on major issues, and where I stood on silly stuff. I realized a lot about myself in the two years I took off from dating. Then after much thought and work on myself I jumped back into the dating pool. I thought I had it all under control.

But I realized I was slipping into my old habits with a guy I was interested in. I was getting into things he was interested in to impress him. Old Megan was coming back. So I stepped away again while I got my head right. Then I took a leap and went back into the online dating world again. I put my faith in God and my gut. If I listened to both I knew I would find the right guy for me who loved me for me.

I did. I found my husband. He loves me for who I am, where I am. He isn't trying to find 100 ways to change me. In our per-marital counseling when asked what we would change about each other. He said "absolutely nothing she's perfect to me." Yeah he scored points. But what we realized is that we loved each other as we were and we wanted to grow together. That doesn't mean we won't change. Change is inevitable but we want to change and grow together not change each other. 

Priorities

I learned that we can do anything, but we can't do everything... at least not at the same time. So think of your priorities not in terms of what activities you do, but when you do them. Timing is everything.  ~ Dan Millman

I am trying to determine my priorities so I can make better use of my time. Here is the list of things I'd like to do...(no particular order)

• Getting my house cleaned thoroughly
• Sewing
• Beading
• Exercising
• Menu planning
• Training the dogs
• Taking the dogs for long walks
• Getting my yard under control

Things I have to do...

• Go to work
• Take care of the dogs/cats
• Eat

I work from 9-6 Monday through Thursday and 9-3 on Friday. It doesn't allow a bunch of time in the evenings. On Thursday I lead a Bible study in the evening. I try to take a yoga class once a week. Lately though I just haven't felt like I've had time to things I want. So I'm trying to look at my schedule and see what I can rearrange to accommodate more of what I would like to do in with what I have to do. So that is my goal for February...figure out how to incorporate more of the likes into my life.

 

Closings

In our area there are restaurants closing left and right. Last year we lost Firken Frigate, James Town Pie Co., Beamer's Grill, Silver Diner, Jo Jack's Coffee, and a number of other smaller restaurants. This year has brought the closing of Red Star Tavern and Saddleridge. I get that times are tough and so I'm not too surprised about the closings what I'm surprised about is the way they go about closing. They don't tell their employees and so when the employees show up for work the doors are locked. I understand that closing is tough on everyone but it just surprises me that they don't give employees a head's up. I hope this is the end of closings for a while but I fear more are to come.

Customer Service

I admit it floors me that a number of stores and restaurants aren't stepping up their service right now. It seems like it is going down in some cases. Recently I've had very mixed experiences. For example...

California Pizza Kitchen... both times I've been there recently their service has been above and beyond. Food has been great, correct, and came out quickly. We even found a manager to let him know how good things were.

Cracker Barrel...a group of four of us went for breakfast on a Saturday they were busy but not crazy. Some of us arrived a bit later so they said they were waiting well she disappeared. Then once we got food she was spotty with refills and actually another server took better care of us. So overall the experience was good but not because of our server. So we told the clerk and the manager about it. The manager was a bit concerned but pleased with the other server who picked up the slack.

Mole Hole...it is a small shop that sells different stuff like Pandora jewelry, cute clothes, and other little things that you don't need but are fun. The main reason I've gone in there is because of Pandora but after having multiple experiences with different sales people being rude, hurried, snooty, etc I'm done shopping there. I sent them an email and the owner sent an apology email but I feel it is too little too late.

Pandora...a new Pandora store opened up near by...this is bad. But the service is amazing!! They go above and beyond to make you happy. I can't recommend them enough.

Harley Davidson...a lot of people have a preconceived notion of what to expect when they go into a Harley store. I'm always amazed at how friendly, helpful, and pleasant the experience is even if they are hectic and busy they still give you undivided attention while waiting on you.

Eddie Bauer...I have shopped Eddie Bauer for years...in the store and in the catalog and over all their service has been good. What I love is if you are unhappy with your purchase for any reason even after wearing it they will take it back. I try not to wear things and return them if I can avoid it but I love knowing I can if needed.

What are some places that have given you great service? What are some that have given so-so service?

All I Need to Learn...I Learned from My Pit Bulls

• Do not judge based on the looks of a person (pit bull) they are very loving and well behaved (most of the time) and they too want to please you.

 

•  Just because you are small doesn't mean you can't tackle something big. Even as a puppy Ares was willing to tackle a big bone or big rope.

 

• Be patient with those younger than you they have not had your experiences or your wisdom (I still don't have that) but you can teach them.

• Rest...your health is important and sleep is good.

•  A lovable face will get you far in life (and out of trouble) but use it wisely. So will kisses.

•  Don't take yourself too seriously.

•  Sharing is good.

•  Stay alert. And greet people with enthusiasm.

•  Sometimes you are a princess and that is ok.

So what have you learned from your dog(s) or other pets?

Time...

I am fascinated by time...

It always seems like I should have more of it and yet I don't. In a day it seems like I get up...take care of the dogs...get my breakfast...talk to J on the phone (while he's in port)...get ready for work...work...come home...take care of the dogs...get my dinner...watch a bit of tv (or go to a yoga class, etc)...then get ready for bed and start all over again.

When J left I had these illusions that I would have all this time to bead and sew and get stuff done around the house but I just don't seem to have the time or the energy. I wish I knew how to find the time and/or the energy. Part of it is just doing it instead of just thinking about doing it. But it just seems like time gets away from me so easily.

And yet when it comes to the count down of J coming home it seems like forever away. But at work we have a calendar meeting this week and so we are talking about our events for the year. So I know this year will fly by like they always do. We are in January and yet soon it will be June and then September and then December again. It is funny how time just ticks by.

So what about you guys does time stand still or fly by?

My Observations About the Christmas Story

So in  honor of Christmas I thought I would include some of my observations about the Christmas story...

• Mary was 14 years old, a virgin, and pledged to an older man. When she became pregnant by the Holy Spirit you can imagine some issues with parents and her betrothed. I can tell you I did not have enough faith at 14 to have handled all that as gracefully as she did. But she had faith.

• Joseph always amazes me. He could have publicly humiliated her but that didn't cross his mind he was going to walk away quietly. But after the angels came to him he too had faith. 

• I cannot imagine being pregnant. But I certainly cannot imagine being pregnant and riding on a donkey. Again Mary had faith.

• Shepherds were considered to be low in society at that time. They were not people you would invite to your home let alone the birth of your child. And yet God felt they too needed to be part of the birth. It takes all kinds.

• The Three Wise Men took risks to find the baby Jesus and keep him hidden from Harrod. They too had faith.

• The inn keeper always tweaks me a little bit because I feel like he could have done more for them. And yet I realize that there was a point to Jesus being born in a lowly manger. Here was the King of Kings being born in a feeding trough. God always has a plan we may just not understand it at the time.

This time of year I think it is easy to get lost in the details of presents and trees and parties, etc. But I wanted to take a moment and share some observations I've had over the years about the Christmas story.

What are your observations?

I Don't Like It...But It Works

I have discovered am discovering that there are a number of things that I'm not 100% fond of doing that are actually quite helpful to me when I do them faithfully.

•  The Neti Pot - I will go on record that this is an uncomfortable and slightly disgusting practice. But it works wonders for sinus and allergy issues. Your sinuses feel violated at first but after they feel much better and clean.
• Exercise - I know, I know you are thinking well duh. But exercise is needed in my life for me to lose weight. It also makes me feel good when I'm done. And if I exercise more I can eat a bit more so it's a win-win in my book.
• Flossing - I hate flossing with a passion but it makes my trips to the dentist much better. And having had crazy under the gum cleaning I will floss all the time to avoid that again.
• Doing the Dishes Right After the Meal - Again some of you may think this is a no brainer but I've been known to let them set for a bit and then clean them. It is much easier to clean as you go or immediately after the meal.
• Using After Shower Spray - It makes cleaning the shower easier because it cleans as it goes. I don't always remember this if I'm in a hurry but I try.
• Putting Laundry Away - I'm notorious for washing laundry and folding laundry and then leaving it in the basket. I've done this quite successfully for years. But it really does make life much easier in the morning if I put it away so I'm not digging through a basket. 
• Menu Planning - I actually don't mind this horribly at the time it is the follow through that has issues. I enjoy planning and don't even mind shopping but on the night sometimes I want to throw in the towel and go get something.

What are some things you aren't too fond of but you do because it works or it is better?

Mish Mash

Sorry for the disappearance last week....it was Vacation Bible School at work, my co-worker who shares duties with me was on vacation, my bosses decided to do a mailing, and it was an amazing and exhausting week. I'm still recovering...

We had an amazingly relaxed and yet exhausting weekend all in one. Time at my work, time with friends, time with my Mom, and a nice grilled pork chop dinner to finish it off. We have been a tad bit neglectful in going to church. We want to go but on Sunday morning we seem to lack motivation to go. This concerns me and we are working on it. I'll let you know how it goes.

J is in school number 2 of 4. He grumbles about going but he actually enjoys it. I like that he is in school as long as he is in school they can't send him to Japan just yet. I realize when I married a military man I agreed to time apart as part of his duty. But that doesn't mean I have to be happy about it. 


I'm trying to get my business going and it slow going since I work full time but it is going. I'll keep you updated.

J has a tad bit complicated family life at times but I wouldn't change it for the world. I love my in-laws more than I can express. I know I'm lucky in that regard. (Especially when I hear horror stories.)

I cannot stand the current heat wave here in VA. This weekend every day was 101 + and it dropped down to a balmy 90 + at night. Today it is 93 (I think) and it feels good because it is cooler. I guess it is all perspective. We need rain at a new level of desperation...our grass is brown and our roses are fading.

I am loving menu planning. I have planned the week of Aug. 1st and Aug. 8th and J has approved of the menus. (He gets veto rights since he does the cooking) I planned on posting a weekly menu. Now I think I'll just post my menus in bulk.

Trends I don't get...and a few I do

Trends I don't get...

Twilight - I have not read a single book or seen a single movie in the Twilight series. It is nothing against them I just haven't been drawn in. I have friends who love it. I read blog posts counting down the minutes. I see the debates between Jacob and Edward. But for me I haven't felt drawn to it. Which is odd because I like vampire and werewolf legends. So for those who are into it tell me why.

Survivor - I tried watching it one season and didn't see the draw to it. But maybe it is because of the drama that is involved at the camps and I'm not a drama person. I do watch other reality tv just not Survivor. For those who watch it faithfully what draws you in?

Twitter - I have an account because I briefly thought about tweeting but I never got into it. I have friends who love it and think it is great. For those who use it what am I missing?

No Carb Diets - I understand that lots of processed carbs are bad for you. However there are good carbs and anything in moderation is ok. And even good things in excess are bad. I know too many people who lose weight and gain weight and lose weight on these diets. Anyone had success with  no carb diet?

Trends I get...

DVR - I will tell you this little machine is a life saver in our house. We only have one TV but now it doesn't matter. We just record one show and watch another no big deal.

Facebook - to a certain degree...I like to see what my friends are up to but I due not like the personal life overload that can occur on Facebook. Information on Facebook should be kind of like public displays of affection...keep it clean and keep it appropriate.

Blogging - well duh...

So what about you what are some trends you get and/or some you don't?

Random...

A few random thoughts...

•  It is 101 degrees outside today. This makes me want to do jack and squat. It also makes me feel blessed that I work in AC and I live in a home with AC. Not everyone is so lucky.
• I am loving the Bead Soup Blog Party. So a big thank you to Lori Anderson for coordinating it. I've loved seeing everyone's creations. I reveal my creation on Saturday. My swap partner Elisabeth, of Beads for Busy Gals revealed her creations today. 
• I am making yummy buffalo chicken sandwiches for dinner tonight which will be ready when I get home. I love my crock pot especially in this heat it keeps my kitchen cooler.
• I have had a headache all day. I think it is from the heat.

Disconnected...

Do you ever get disconnected from friends just due to life getting in the way? It isn't intentional. It just happens.

I have some friends who I was very close to a couple years ago and now we rarely talk to each other. When we do we love it and promise we'll do better in the future but work, families, etc happen and we lose touch again. And it is ok. I miss them but I know when it is time we will come back together. In the meantime we hold onto the knowledge that the other is there. I've had other friends come and go and now we're close as ever again. I trust there is a reason why some people are close to you at certain times. But it still saddens me slightly that we aren't as close as we once were...

When J and I got married I inherited...2 parents-in-law...7 siblings-in-law (5 of them have spouses)...and 13 nieces and nephews. I was all gung ho at the family reunion to get birthdays, anniversaries, addresses, etc for each of them to remain in contact and then I haven't. So I'm setting a goal while J is away to gain contact with his family. Keep them up to date on us, him, and me. We'll see...I still have the great idea of making a family calendar that has all the dates through out and then a list of addresses in back.

I think the problem is that there is so much stuff in our daily lives that when we get home we want to decompress and not deal with people. That might just be me...I love being at home with J and the puppies. I'm quite a home body now which is quite different from when I met J because I went out all the time. And I still enjoy that on occasion but I like being at home. Some friends have "blamed" J for my disappearance but really it is my choice. And when I'm home I don't want to be on the phone because I want to spend time with J. I am realizing that I do need to do a little bit of work on those relationships and it will happen in time.

The other thing I look at is they can call us too. J and I both have friends that grumble about how they never see us or hear from us. But they don't call us either so I think we are all busy with our lives.

Rudeness in the Guise of Politeness

If you have to start a sentence with "don't take this the wrong way but..." or "I don't mean to be rude but..." or "with all due respect..." or "I"m not trying to be mean or nasty..." stop right there because what comes next will be taken the wrong way, rude, disrespectful, and/or mean and nasty. It amazes me how many people use those lines as a free pass to say whatever they want because they prefaced it with that.

The other day J and I were headed to a friend's son's birthday party and we realized we had forgotten the birthday card so we stopped at the grocery store. To save time J pulled up in front of the entrance to drop me off so I could run in then he drove around and came back to pick me up. Now our car was in front of the entrance for a minute dropping me off and a minute picking me up. I admit we were blocking the entrance a bit but only for a minute and you could still easily get in to the store. As we're leaving this woman stops and rolls down her window, J figures she needs directions or something so he rolls down his window. She says "I'm not trying to be mean or nasty or anything but...you could have moved your car down so that you weren't blocking the entrance instead of stopping right there. Because I had to walk around your car to get out." J looked at her a little stunned and politely said "have a nice day." We were just surprised that she felt the need to say anything. And the fact that she prefaced it with "I'm not trying to mean or nasty..." tells me that she did mean to be mean or nasty about the fact. We shrugged it off and went about our day but it got me thinking about other people I know who use similar lines before saying something hurtful.

I will fully admit I've said some not nice things in my day. But usually I'm blatantly honest which is a flaw...so don't ask me a question you don't want an honest answer to...you may not like it. I think part of it is the fact that society says you can say whatever you want to say....it is so important it is an amendment. I agree you should have freedom of speech. However, just as the saying goes...the freedom of speech doesn't give you the right to walk into a crowded theater and yell fire if there isn't one. And I think that the freedom of speech does give you the right to say whatever you want but I don't think that means you don't have filters.

My Granny used to say..."think before you speak because you can't take it back."

Do you ever encounter people who preface something mean with..."don't take this the wrong way but..." or "I don't mean to be rude but..." or "with all due respect..." or "I"m not trying to be mean or nasty..."? And does it really make what comes next any better?

Some things are worth letting go...

Growing up every Spring we had Spring cleaning that included sorting through clothes, toys, craft supplies, fabric, notions, etc. (my mother was an avid seamstress) and of course cleaning away the cobwebs and dust. My mother has increased the frequency of this since my brother and I have moved out. She is constantly sorting through things to see what can go. I know one day I will appreciate this...and I admit I too sort.

Every time I bring out my summer clothes or my winter clothes I sort through to see what I can give away or throw away. Every time I've moved I sort through papers, magazines, dishes, kitchen ware, clothes, shoes, purses, etc. and there is always a good sized pile of things that end up leaving. When I bought them "I couldn't live without them" but now I don't need them. And interestingly enough I've learned over time that letting go of something (or someone) makes room for something else (or someone else).

A few examples:

My divorce was final in June of 2004. Since that time I had dated, tried connecting with different guys but none worked out. In February of 2008 I spoke to a jeweler about either selling off my engagement ring and wedding band or making them into something else. That was on a Friday. The next day I met J and the rest is history. I believe it is because of letting go of the past that I was finally able to move on to the future.

I have often held onto clothes that were too small because I might fit back into them. I have found on many occasions that when I get rid of them that is when I start to lose weight. Ironic in a sense but I think it is the process of accepting yourself where you are and loving yourself the way you are that allows you to let go of the weight.

I do not equate people with things...people are not objects. That being said I think there are times when you have to let go of a person or a relationship to allow new people and relationships in. There have been a few too many relationships (and people) that I have clung to in hopes that it would get better or they would change. But sometimes although you were once good for each other you are no longer good for each other. And sometimes this can be a romantic relationship, a friendship, an acquaintance, and in some cases even a family member. The beauty is that sometimes when you let go...it works out that the relationship can be rebuilt.

One of my favorite quotes is "Let Go and Let God"... 
 
 Sometimes you just have to let go. Do you have anything or anyone that you have had to let go? 

An interesting mix of old fashioned and new fangled...

For J and I we quickly realized we had been raised in similar families and in similar worlds so to speak. We both had both of our parents in the picture. We both were raised by stay at home moms. We had siblings (although he definitely has more). In our families Mom was the primary parent because she was home. Because of this we find that we kind of have an interesting look on husband and wife roles. For example there a "boy jobs" and "girl jobs" in our house.

Boy jobs...

• mowing the lawn
• taking out the trash (this is a big one for me...Dad still to this day does this at my parents house)
• scooping puppy poop
• fixing things (cars, sinks, toilets, etc) 
• catching flying bugs (although really the pets do it best)
• doing dishes (I cook, he cleans)
• driving when we go some where (I enjoy driving but when we go somewhere together I prefer he drive)
• unstopping the sink
• maintaining the yard...mulch, etc.
• changing the oil in his car
• moving heavy stuff 
• carrying things in from the car (he always gives me the keys and tells me to go open the door he'll get the stuff)
• taking care of puppies in the morning (taking them out, feeding them, etc)
• anything electrical
• paying house bills (mortgage, electric, gas, water, etc)
• packing the car (although usually he ends up asking for my opinion)
• pushing the cart in a store (he says its like carrying my books in high school)
• flatterer

Girl jobs...

• fixing dinner
• changing the cat litter
• unloading the dish washer
• making coffee in the morning (he'll do it but I try to do that while he is getting ready for work in the morning)
• feeding the kitties (he'll do it if they bug him)
• laundry (it is safer this way I have too many special care clothes)
• getting puppies settled for the day before I leave for work
• making his lunch 
• DD (I am not as big a fan of drinking in public so I don't mind at all when we do go out)
• stopping the sink 
• dealing with distressed sister-in-laws
• getting us packed for a long trip
• cheerleader

Both jobs...

• Getting the house cleaned for company (he does a great job on a bathroom)

But what I have learned is that it isn't who does the job because of gender it is who does it because we do it well or because we like doing it. I for one hate yard work. I don't get all excited about the smell of mulch or pulling weeds, etc. but he does so why not let the person who loves it do it. I enjoy cooking I find it relaxing in most situations (except when I'm pushing it and company will be there in 10 minutes) he doesn't enjoy it so again it makes sense that I do it.

We went through a bit of trial and error to get here. But our system works for us. He likes to feel needed. I like to nurture. I enjoy being taken care of in many regards although having been single for years I know how to take care of myself. But for now I'll enjoy him taking care of the boy jobs while I take care of the girl jobs.

What about you how do you divide labor? Do you take on traditional roles or do you break the mold?

Held to a Higher Level

Even if you aren't a football fan, you may have heard about Ben Roethlisberger's recent suspension for six games following an incident in Georgia involving a 20 year old girl. Although he hasn't been convicted (I don't even think charges have been filed) the NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell is punishing Roethlisberger for his behavior and lack of good judgment. Sadly this isn't the first time Roethlisberger has been in trouble for something like this...back in 2008 a woman accused him of rape.

If you are not familiar with the story please...go here or here to learn more about it.

Some argue this is too harsh a punishment because he hasn't been convicted of anything. Others argue if Michael Vick got suspended for a year over dogs how come Roethlisberger isn't getting the same punishment? I for one think that six games with the possibility of it being dropped to four seems like more of a slap on the wrist. I realize that this will cost him approximately $2.8 million for something that may or may not have happened but the pattern is there and he used poor judgment. I think he is to an extent using his popularity and name to get away with things that others couldn't get away with. Did he sexually assault a 20 year old young woman? I don't know but it doesn't sound good for him. Did he make a stupid decision putting himself alone with a drunk 20 year old young woman? yes. Does it bring a question? yes. Does he deserve to be punished for marring the young woman's reputation, his reputation, and his team's reputation in question? yes he does.

With people like Michael Vick, Tiger Woods, Charlie Sheen, and Ben Roethlisberger in the news for various mistakes. So what do you think should celebrities be held to a higher standard?

Movies

This weekend I watched two movies...The Blind Side and The Invention of Lying. Both were good movies.

Sandra Bullock is brilliant and frankly the whole cast is brilliant in The Blind Side. They did a good job of casting the movie. As I watched The Blind Side I was amazed by Leigh Anne Tuohy's faith and willingness to help someone. As I sat there and watched the movie and saw how the family was impacted by Michael it amazed me. Here is a family that could have walked away so easily as many would have been prone to do. But they didn't they took in Michael and treated him as part of their family. The movie had many great lessons including judging people by the inside not the outside, going with what you want not what everyone else wants, realizing you can change your outcome, sometimes by helping others...you'll help yourself, and many more. It was a great movie that I think everyone should see. (J liked it too which is saying something because we don't always agree)

 We rented The Invention of Lying because we thought it would be funny. It turned out to be a bit more thought provoking that we thought. It started out somewhat humorous because frankly everyone telling exactly what they think all the time has a humor to it. I'm glad we don't live in that world. But as the movie progressed and he lied to make his mother feel better as she was dying it took a more serious turn toward topics like the afterlife, religion, and even genetics. It is a good movie that gets you thinking. And at the same time has almost a tongue and cheek smack against the way we currently run our lives.