I Will Thrive: Deployment - Friends

There is a quote "be careful what you wish for" today I'm going to change it to say "be careful what you pray for...you might just get it."

Prior to J leaving I had 3 friends that we're close, 2 of whom were extremely close. We had regular girls nights and such. The day J left for the first time, they invited me over to spend time with them. But as time passed my friend T was much more involved in her various dating relationships and wasn't around as much. My friend S really stepped up. She went to church with me so I didn't have to go alone. We would go out to dinner often so I wasn't home alone. And she was my deployment spouse. She was truly a lifesaver. As time as gone by she has pulled away some because of her relationship with her guy D. When they broke up she was back at a high intensity level. They have started to hang out as friends again so she has disappeared some again. Her explanation for not calling is that she assumes I'm dancing at the Studio, the dogs would prevent me, I'm doing something with my Mom, or that I just have other plans. I told her to call me and see not to assume. ;-)

Because J is a Geo-Bachelor and his "deployment" is three years I realize that I'm a bit more maintenance than if he was on a standard deployment or underway. I realize this so I decided that I need to expand my friend circle so one person isn't responsible for "taking" care of me. I decided to pray about it and ask God to help me expand my circle and for me to be open to new people. Well God heard and God responded.

First my coworker N asked me to join a group on Monday nights for games and possible Bible Study. I went and had a great time so I attend that on a regular basis. A church member and friend where I work invited me to come over for dinner one night after work. I went and had good food, good friends, and a good fire. Then my friends and neighbors invited me to their house for frivolity and dinner. I needed it for a number of reasons. And I again had a great time. And my friend S who hadn't been calling me, called me twice to do something. (granted it was when her man D wasn't available but still the thought was there). Finally, my friend S and I were supposed to go to sunrise service but she wasn't feeling well. Well I almost rolled over and went back to sleep but something kept nagging me to go. So I got dressed and went. I met a delightful couple who normally attend a different service. He was retired Coast Guard so they got the military aspect. They invited me (and treated me) to breakfast on Easter morning. It was wonderful company and food.

God never ceases to amaze me. But I know now...be careful when you pray...you might just get it.

Book Review - Give God a Year

 

As I've mentioned I've started leading First Place 4 Heath at the church where I work. It is a four-sided approach to weight loss. It focuses on the mind (scripture memorization, keeping a "live it tracker"), strength (exercise, eat well), soul (prayer, Bible Study, Scripture reading), and heart (connect with other at meetings, offer intentional acts of encouragement) to get us more balanced in our lives. Their attitude is "give us a year." So I've committed to lead this class for a year. So far it has served me well I've lost 5lbs since January 6th. I'm pleased.

As part of this I decided to read Carole Lewis' book Give God a Year, Change Your Life Forever. If you are wrestling with parts of your life particularly your relationship with God I cannot recommend this book enough. It has chapter titles like "Accepting the Challenge," "God's Will for Us," "Attitude is everything," and "Emotional Healing." How would our lives be different if we gave God a year to change and work in us? I'm making a pledge to give First Place a year and to give God a year.

I want our marriage to be a threesome

Got your attention didn't I...but before you think I'm crazy...ok it may be too late on that account...I'm referring to God...J and I.

Because of what has happened with my parents I've been taking a deep look at relationships. I used to pride myself that my parents had been married for 42 years. J and I celebrated the fact when we started dating that both our parents were still married. But as I look at my parents they really haven't had a good relationship in about 10 years. They have had a partnership. Dad would spend most of his time in his study and Mom would be in the living room. They would occasionally go out to dinner together but not for fun more for necessity. Mom went to church and Dad never set foot in one. Dad didn't see a need for religion he could explain it with science. I always assumed this was just how relationships changed as you were together longer. But lately I've been looking at other relationships. Some are 5 years, some 10 years, some 25 years, some 40 years, and some over 50 years. I've noticed something important in the relationships that have lasted and are still happy. God is in the center.

People always say that it is good for couples to have different interests and that you need to maintain your independence, etc. I agree with this to an extent I'll cover more of that in a different post. I believe in God. I believe in Jesus Christ as my savior. I believe that we need a relationship with God. I enjoy going to church. I enjoy working in a church. (most of the time) I enjoy going to church events. My ex-husband didn't like this. My current husband has since admitted that he started dating me in hopes that I would get him back to church. I think this is too big an interest not to share. In order for a marriage to work I think this is one interest you have to share. Now if neither of you have an interest in God that may work too. But I think faith is a journey to be shared together. We will each have our own relationship with God but we will also have a relationship with God together.

So our marriage will be a threesome.

Starting Fresh

So I've been down this road before...I want to lose some weight and work toward a healthier me. I have a family history of heart conditions, high blood pressure, and high cholesterol. And frankly I'm not getting any younger. I've tried a lot of different weight loss and lifestyle change programs by haven't found one that I felt fit and therefore I've failed to stick with it. 

A local church is offering a weight loss Bible Study called First Place 4 Health. I like it because it isn't just a diet program or an exercise program it approaches the mental, physical, spiritual and emotional sides of your life. I like the fact that it includes a Bible study portion. It begins at a local church in September and I'm looking forward to it. I've signed up for it and look forward to what I may gain from it.

Some things are worth letting go...

Growing up every Spring we had Spring cleaning that included sorting through clothes, toys, craft supplies, fabric, notions, etc. (my mother was an avid seamstress) and of course cleaning away the cobwebs and dust. My mother has increased the frequency of this since my brother and I have moved out. She is constantly sorting through things to see what can go. I know one day I will appreciate this...and I admit I too sort.

Every time I bring out my summer clothes or my winter clothes I sort through to see what I can give away or throw away. Every time I've moved I sort through papers, magazines, dishes, kitchen ware, clothes, shoes, purses, etc. and there is always a good sized pile of things that end up leaving. When I bought them "I couldn't live without them" but now I don't need them. And interestingly enough I've learned over time that letting go of something (or someone) makes room for something else (or someone else).

A few examples:

My divorce was final in June of 2004. Since that time I had dated, tried connecting with different guys but none worked out. In February of 2008 I spoke to a jeweler about either selling off my engagement ring and wedding band or making them into something else. That was on a Friday. The next day I met J and the rest is history. I believe it is because of letting go of the past that I was finally able to move on to the future.

I have often held onto clothes that were too small because I might fit back into them. I have found on many occasions that when I get rid of them that is when I start to lose weight. Ironic in a sense but I think it is the process of accepting yourself where you are and loving yourself the way you are that allows you to let go of the weight.

I do not equate people with things...people are not objects. That being said I think there are times when you have to let go of a person or a relationship to allow new people and relationships in. There have been a few too many relationships (and people) that I have clung to in hopes that it would get better or they would change. But sometimes although you were once good for each other you are no longer good for each other. And sometimes this can be a romantic relationship, a friendship, an acquaintance, and in some cases even a family member. The beauty is that sometimes when you let go...it works out that the relationship can be rebuilt.

One of my favorite quotes is "Let Go and Let God"... 
 
 Sometimes you just have to let go. Do you have anything or anyone that you have had to let go? 

Maundy Thursday

Today is Maundy Thursday. Today we celebrate Christ having his last supper with his disciples. Today he told them that one of the would betray him. Today he prayed in the Garden for the cup to pass him by. Today he prayed "not my will but your will." Today he is arrested.

And so begins the time of remembering Jesus' ultimate sacrifice for us. It is so easy to focus on the celebration of Easter. But we wouldn't have the resurrection without the time before it. 

Laying the Foundation...

In all things there first has to be a foundation...

When you build a house you don't just throw up walls and a roof without first putting up a solid foundation to support them. When you are making a necklace you have to pick proper stringing material to support your finished design or you will end up with a faulty necklace. When working with youth in church work you have to realize you are laying the foundation.

This past weekend a group of seven crazy brave adults took 20 middle school youth on a weekend retreat 8 hours away at a Methodist retreat center called Lake Junaluska. It was an experience. Middle schoolers are a tough bunch...they aren't children any more but they aren't adults. They aren't even teens in many cases. They were a good group of youth but they are middle schoolers so we had moments.

There was one youth who caused us some trouble because they (I'm trying not to identify) thought they were too cool to be there. But on Saturday night after the worship service we took all of them on a "hike" (walk up the hill) to the cross in silence. They did a good job. And it was meaningful to all including them. It is moments like that they make it worthwhile.

We may not see the impact this trip made on them until later but I know from personal experience that a good foundation leads to a good adult...even if the road is a little bumpy along the way.

Confirmation Retreat

In the United Methodist Church confirmation is a big deal. It is the time after baptism (usually decided by your parents) where you as a youth get to make a decision to join the church. As a church it is an exciting time because youth are learning about Methodism and are excited about  joining.

This weekend as part of their Confirmation process we are taking a group of them to Lake Junaluska. They have weekend retreats for the spiritual growth of the youth. My hubby and I have been asked to chaperone. And although we will be partially responsible for 19+ youth it will be a neat experience for us too.

There is worship, history, workshops, free time, and other fun stuff that will keep the youth busy. Last time I went the girls in my room and I had a "mini-slumber" party each night before bed. This time the arrangements are such that we can't do that. But I will tell you that discussing faith with 6th-8th graders helps you look at your own faith.

My ex was agnostic. And I fully believe that you should believe or not believe whatever you would like I'm not going to force my beliefs on you. But I am a Christian and I want to be with a Christian because it works better. The day my hubby and I got married we made a commitment in front of God to each other. It meant something to us. As part of our journey we go to church and participate in church related things. I'm glad that he enjoys and is willing to do things like this with me.

"But as for me and my household we will serve the Lord."  ~ Joshua 24:15b

Love One Another as I Have Loved You...

This is my 100th post...I feel like it should be big, inspiring, meaningful, etc. So I'm thinking of having a give-away later this week but I'm not sure what. And the content of this post is something very dear to me...

Jesus commanded us to Love One Another...it is considered to be the greatest commandment by many. But I personally think it is the hardest. I can handle the original 10 so to speak... I mean I'm not perfect with them but I get them. They are pretty clear cut.

Love one another though...not so much. When the minister said love everyone...I wanted to raise my hand and say "Everyone?" quizzically. But I refrained. I know what his answer would have been. He challenged us to pick someone that we feel needs God's love in their life and covenant to pray for them and with them. He had us write it down for accountability. For myself I wrote down a close friend of mine who I felt betrayed by recently and our nephew. I feel that both of them need God's love in their life and need to feel it coming from those of us on earth. When we got to the car I commented to J that I hated sermons like that because they made me accountable. I can't just walk away and say Ok thanks I'm good now. I have to do something with it. Although I told J that God wouldn't have needed to make it a commandment if it were easy and everyone were easily lovable. So for this week and the time leading up to Christmas I'm working on showing God's love. It isn't always easy but God never promised it would be.

We are preparing the way...

Sometimes what you need is a good swift kick

So I've decided once again that God works in mysterious ways. I've always known this but sometimes I forget. And sometimes God wants us to leave our comfort zones for something better. I for one am reluctant. I don't like change in the big sense. I'm good with it in small does (although as I get older I'm finding that I'm not as fond of change) because change is inevitable.

I have been in a rut of sorts in one aspect of my life. I stay because it works. I stay because I'm comfortable in my rut. I've decorated it (it even has accent pillows). I know where everything is. I know how everything works. I know how to play the game. So I remain in my rut. But recently something has occurred that is pushing me out of my rut. A trusted place has become not so safe so I'm looking at other avenues. I feel that God will lead me where I'm supposed to go when I'm supposed to go there. God has always done this when I listened.

Now what to do when I get out of my rut...the options are plentiful. When I find out where I'm headed I'll share it with you.

In the mean time...I will close with my favorite quote...

"Sometimes you have to leap and build your wings on the way down." This was the quote I had on my dating page when I met my husband. He quoted it to me on our first date. It has been a good mantra.

The Cross

Rebecca over at Knit By God's Hand has on of my favorite Cross stories on her blog today. Go check it out. It is worth it.

I'm Just Saying

I work in a church. I am not a pastor. I have designed worship bulletins and even planned worship services in a crunch. I like to tell stories to people. I would ultimately love to become a public story teller. Possibly a pastor but I don't think so...but I am going to share one of my favorite stories...

"Lost and Found"
When I was little probably around 5 maybe 6 my Mom and I went to the BX (base exchange) one afternoon to do some shopping. Now as a child I liked to explore, wander, walk off, etc. whatever you want to call it. But I was usually pretty good at keeping Mom in eye shot. On this particular afternoon I wandered one direction and Mom obviously wandered another. When I turned to find her she was gone. I started to look for her but could not find her anywhere. I began to get concerned...about that time a nice lady found me and took me to the front of the store to the staff people. I explained I'd lost my Mommy. They assured me it would be fine they would help me find her. The real thing was I hadn't lost my Mommy at all I had wandered away from her and gotten lost. The very nice clerk asked me what my Mommy's name was...my response "Mommy" she said "yes but what is her real name"...again "Mommy." So she thought she'd try a different approach "what does your Daddy call her?" I stopped and thought (probably giving a glimmer of hope) and replied "Your Mom." The clerk was just getting ready to try another approach when my Mom showed up. She had been looking for me the whole time. And she decided that the front of the store was the best place to find me. She came to me. I think the clerk was relieved because she didn't have to figure out who my Mom was from my vague answers. And Mom was relieved that I was OK.

The beauty of this story for me is that this is a perfect illustration of my faith journey. I started out with God. We were doing great. I might go exploring but God was always in my eye line. Then one time God was no longer in my eye line...but not because He had moved because I had moved away. And I admit it took me a bit to get to someone who could help me get back to Him. But the beauty of the story is I didn't have to find God. He was looking for me...I was lost but now am found. I admit the song "Amazing Grace" makes me teary every time. "I once was lost but now am found, twas blind but now I see." We do not have to find God. He is always there even when we do not see Him and particularly when we don't want to see him. I admit I often chuckle when people say "I've found God" or "I've found Jesus." I want to look at them and say "I didn't know they were missing." I am glad that God and Jesus are in their lives don't get me wrong...nothing brings me more joy. But I want them to realize...they were lost and God has found them not the other way around.

The Lord has promised good to me.
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be,
As long as life endures.

It is through my faith that I have made it this far in my life. And I'm not sure how you do it without faith.

Believe the Love Story

J and I go to a great church. The church family is welcoming and encouraging, the pastor is a wonderful preacher and counselor, and they have a great choir. We started attending there in October and just finished our membership class recently.

Yesterday morning our Pastor was on fire while preaching. He was preaching on the scripture from Mark 4:35-41...the story of Jesus calming the storm. His title was "Have You Still No Faith?" related to the question Jesus asked the disciples because they were afraid and concerned about their safety during the storm. They had been with Jesus through so many things and yet they still were afraid of what might happen and unsure of the outcome.

I admit this makes me feel better about my own faith. If the men who walked on earth with Jesus and knew first hand of God's love had concerns and doubt then me having doubt is normal right? Pastor C went on to talk about how God is with us in the storms of life...both the literal hurricanes that hit our area but more importantly the storms of life that aren't predicted. The loss of a job, financial struggles, the loss of a loved one, a child gone astray, difficulties in marriage, divorce, etc those are also storms in our life and God is with us. I needed this sermon. I have a great life...I have my faith, I have a wonderful family, I have a good job, I have an amazing boyfriend, I have a great group of friends, etc. I am not in a major storm. I have been through some in my life but not right now. I am however in a minor storm. And I realized that I need to have faith. I need to trust that God is there and will be there. Life will be fine. God has never let me down and I don't see it happening now. I have faith. For some this sounds cliched. For me this is a fact. I don't know how you do it without God. I don't want to find out.

Pastor C gave the following quote as a summary of his sermon..."Faith is not a human action but it is a reaction to the love of God." God wants us to believe the Love Story. God loves us...because God loves us we have faith. All love begins with God. My love for others is a reflection of God's love for me.

I am loved. I have faith. I love others. God loves you.

Church Membership Class lesson 4 - Baptism

Last night at our church membership class we learned about the United Methodist's belief about baptism. Most of it I knew but I did learn a few things along the way. And in honor of it I want to share a YouTube clip. In this clip a child cannonballs into the baptismal font. And the pastor is caught off guard. It is a humorous clip. But the clip isn't what got my attention the comments are what got my attention. People are getting into a very theological discussion about how if this youth doesn't take his baptism seriously he shouldn't get baptised, etc. And I look at it very differently but I often do... I think all of us should have that enthusiasm about becoming a child of God. I for one think that baptism is a celebration and should be fun. We are becoming a part of God's family. God is claiming us and if it is an older person we are claiming God. If that isn't a reason for celebration I don't know what is. Besides who said faith and church have to be serious? Shouldn't we be having fun? I for one think my faith is fun and my God is one who most definately has a sense of humor.

Holy Week...How Holy is it?

I work in a church. I love my co-workers they are wonderful people. And to be honest...and slightly biased...our church members are pretty awesome too. And Holy Week is the high Holy Week...no pun intended. However, working in a church causes this week to be stressful, tense, and not so holy sometimes. I'm kind of disappointed in that because I like Holy Week and the history that goes with it. So I'm trying really hard to put the "Holy" back into Holy Week. And to remember why we are here and what we are remembering.

***Soap Box***

Today is Good Friday...also known as Black Friday. Although it is a day of sadness because Christ died for us today. It is also very much a day of triumph because we know the rest of the story...Christ rose from the dead. And because of his sacrifice and the sacrifice of God...we are forgiven. Does it get any better? So today I am trying very hard to remember that Christ died not just for me...but also for the "lovely man who cut me off in traffic," for the kids in our area who are committing crimes for their gang initiation, for the people who frustrate me sometimes, and for everyone. Whether we think they deserve it or not...they are children of God...and if we're honest we don't deserve it either. That is the beauty of God's grace...there is nothing we did, can do, or will do that will cause us to deserve God's grace but God gives it to us anyway.