I've seen 2009, people...and she looks DIVINE

The Christensen Family has a tradition of a Mexican Fiesta on NYE.

And well, we had said Mexican Fiesta (which btw, is going to someday be the thing that "my guy" says upon first experiencing it, "Shut up! I get YOU AND killer mexican cuisine? How DID I get so lucky?") tonight.

SO, because we had the fiesta tonight (since I'll be flying home tomorrow night...sober pilots, thank you very much...I've flown New Years morning before...not so smart...) I say that makes right now 2009 for me.

Yes, I've started 2009 and I can't even tell you how good she looks (and yes, I said "she"...for some reason this year of all years is a girl. I don't know why. Just trust me on that one).

I was reflecting tonight on what a great year '08 was.
It really was.
I went to Orcas.
I sold my house.
I finished my masters.
I healed my heart.
It was a really great and important and significant year....not without it's rough stuff FOR SURE...but great.

And 2009?

I know it's going to be full of it's challenges
and its hyperventilating moments...
and times when I want to quit my job (happened tonight, ironically enough)...
wondering how a nice girl like me ended up in a life like this...

BUT, for the most part...
It is going to be the best year yet.

I stumbled across this gem on Sunday...Phillipians 1.
And my catch phrase for '09?

"According to my earnest expectation and my hope..." (vrs. 20)

MY EARNEST EXPECTATION
MY HOPE

Don't you love the sound of that?
I love Paul.
I love his poetic words.
I love his enthusiasm for life.
I love his courage.
And I'm ready to have the same.

I have no grand goals that can be spoken.
I'm not listing things I will and won't do.
I'm just going to live the life God has planned for me.

I know it's only minutes into my "new year" (it's the new year SOMEWHERE, right?), but I am already filled with this amazing hope...the hope because of my earnest expectation.
It's just around this corner...I feel it.

Welcome to 2009.
I can't wait for you to get here too.

Happy New Year!

Always. Eventually.

God always keeps His promises.
God always answers prayers.
God always reveals the truth.

Always.
Always.
Always.
Eventually.

Sometimes I get caught up in the "always" part of life.
Truth is always truth.
God's promises are always sure.
Peace always comes.
Answers are always given.

But, the problem with the "always" is that it's too often connected with our mortal minds and our earthly understanding.
In other words,
Always = right now.

And, sometimes that can mess with a girl's head.

About 18 months ago, I begged...quite literally...for the Lord to show me more clearly. My little heart was broken...quite literally...and nothing about it made any sense to me. Nothing at all.

And, so, all I could do was trust.

Trust that God was aware of every bit of what had happened and had even directed my part in it.
Trust that my path was meant to go in a different direction and something else was waiting for me.
Trust that I would see His hand in all of it and understand His purpose for me.
Trust that it would all work out the way it needed to and that eventually I would see "things as they really are, and of things as they really will be" (Jacob 4:13).

Well, eventually came.
Just last week.
And the details are not important.
And what I specifically discovered doesn't matter.

I believe the principle is the key.
It's eternal.
And I think it happens more often than we realize.

From one of my all-time favorite sermons:
"[Jesus Christ] knows that for the faithful, things will be made right soon enough. He is a King; He speaks for the crown; He knows what can be promised."

He knows always
what we will see eventually.

Trust that.

Seriously, what more DO you want?

I finally got home late Christmas Eve and waiting for me at the airport was...
Isaac:and Hannah:. That would have been enough for me, but Isaac had made this:And I laughed when I read this:And said a "can I get an 'amen'?" when I read this: (nevermind that I don't have that number anymore...have I trained this kid well or what?!)

I don't know what more "my Mr. Guy" wants. But, for me right now?

Yeah, I don't want anything more than...

-singing Christmas carols with my mom's "Lawrence Welk" style piano playing and my dad's harmony...even on "Frosty"

-discovering that Heather's frostbite peppermint oatmeal cookies are even more evil with peppermint ice cream (and seeing she loved them even more than I did!)

-knowing that even though the guy at the post office said my package couldn't make it to David's family in 24 hours, it did

-loving Holly staying a little longer so we could play Mormom Bridge

-sighing with relief at the realization this morning that I just didn't have to do a single thing today.

This is a break I need with family I love.
I couldn't want for more.
(at least not for the rest of the year...)

I'm not the only person at the airport tonight

Hmmm.
Did Rudolph get sick?Did Donner and Blitzen stage a walk out?Is he looking for a cheaper way to travel? Did he get the Southwest "wanna getaway" fare?

OR....
Did he get his work done early and now he's trying to catch a direct flight back to the North Pole?

All I know is if Santa gets out of here before my delayed flight gets out of here, I will NOT be happy.

Merry Christmas!

God hath made me to laugh...

so that all that hear will laugh with me."
(Genesis 21:6)

When I was young (about the age of this picture...how cute is this little munchkin? & yes that patch on my sleeve says "I like you"), my family was gathered for family prayer. As my Dad began that prayer, I got the giggles. No explanation. I just got them.
Dad invited me to leave the room.
And he started praying again.

Then my two older sisters started giggling.
Dad invited them to leave the room.
And he started praying again.

Then, as he and my mother knelt for FAMILY prayer, I remember the three of us girls standing out in the entry way. And THEN, my MOTHER...my mature mother...started giggling.
Dad invited her to leave the room.
And Dad had family prayer all by himself.

I still laugh about that.
It's a classic Christensen story.
And a classic "Laurel giggles at inappropriate times" story.

It happened throughout my school years.
I was sent out of the classroom many times to "get control" of myself.
It never worked.
I just had to "ride it out", so to speak.

In the Missionary Training Center, I had a teacher who had to ask me to leave the classroom because of my unexplained case of the giggles. And so I went out into the hall. But the thought that I, a nearly 22 year old mature girl was in the hall at the MTC because I was giggling, only made me giggle harder.

Imagine the giggles that ensued when another teacher came out into the hall to tell me I needed to go back into my classroom because my giggles were disturbing the other class. I laughed loud and hard. There was nothing feminine or "sister missionary" about it.

I'm still embarrassed about that.
But, also still laughing.

On my mission, while kneeling in prayer with a family, I peaked to see why my companion was praying with hesitance. I saw the family dog, who had made his way into the circle, kneeling in front of her, panting, about 6 inches from her face.

I lost it...with laughter...in the middle of the family prayer.
The father made it perfectly clear what a horrible example I had set for his children.
We were not invited back.
I still laugh about that.

My problem is that when I start to laugh at a time that I know I shouldn't, it just makes me laugh harder...the kind where you keep it in...afraid to breath for the sudden outburst of laughter that might be released...

But, then your head starts to hurt from holding it in...and you can tell that now, because of the "keeping in", you've actually made the outburst MUCH worse...more intense...and then you can feel it coming...welling up and you know there is absolutely positively NOTHING you can do to stop it. The tears are coming as the laughter tries to escape from anyplace it can.

If you were threatened with damnation in that very moment, you STILL couldn't stop it.

It happened last night.
In the middle of a prayer.
I thought I was going to explode...

And I did.
My eyes cried.
I laughed loud and hard.
I ALMOST made it to the "Amen".
Almost.

It's a thing I fear, actually.
I never know when it's going to hit.
And when it hits I have no control.

If it was a seizure or something, people would feel sorry for me and understand.
But, when it's a fit of laughter...
Well, then you're just immature and you feel like you're 6 years old.
It's embarrassing.

So today at Church, when I was reflecting on it and checking in with the Lord to make sure He really wasn't mad at me over this little weakness of mine....
Well, I thought of Sarah.

And I realized that...
"GOD hath made me to laugh,
so that all that hear will laugh with me."

Just remember that next time you're with me during one of these episodes.
And "laugh with me", will you?

(btw, when WAS the last time you laughed with me?
WITH me, Erin Fast, not AT me...)

Just call me MAS-TAH

It's official.

I have a M.A. in Communications Management from St. Louis treasure Webster University. And since I'm a St. Louis treasure...well, it was a perfect match (sorry, couldn't resist...I walked right into that one.)

I started this journey a little more than three years ago because I didn't love my job and frankly, I didn't love my life...

I wanted options.

Then I wrangled my "love him like a brother" cousin Jake to join me. Shortly after, I got a great opportunity at work and school seemed less necessary...but I had wrangled Jake...and so I stuck with it.

I really kind of didn't think I'd finish.

But, it feels good to be done.
It feels good to have finished what I started.
And it feels good to be a little smarter than I was before.

In 1999, President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "Education is the key which will unlock the door of opportunity for you. It is worth sacrificing for…Take advantage of every educational opportunity that you can possibly afford".

I can absolutely say it was worth it.

I joked that I would make people call me "Master Laurel" when I was done. But, I've decided there's nothing funny about it.

This is no joke.
That's my new name.
Don't wear it out.

You're welcome, Mr. You

It was a great snowy morning today.
Lots and lots of snow.

And in the snow (oh, I love snow), some sunshine.

I pulled up to a traffic light and noticed a very cool car to my right. And a fairly nice looking guy in his 30's at the wheel. I thought I saw him look over at me but assumed I was mistaken.

But, I looked over.

And he mouthed something to me.

"Marry Me."?
"You are hot."?
"I've been looking for you everywhere. Where have you been all my life?"?

I couldn't tell.
And so I rolled down my passenger window.
He did the same.
(well, it was HIS driver side window, but the flow just was better saying "he did the same", even though he technically didn't...it's all about the flow, you know.)

"What did you say?" I asked.

"You're right," he told me.
"Life really is good, isn't it?"

"Yep, it sure is," I exclaimed.

"Thanks for the reminder," he said as he drove away.
I don't know his name and I didn't get to say "you're welcome".

I get teased a lot for my silly affirmation license plate.
It says LYFSGUD.
(That's "Life's good" for those of you trying to figure that out.)
Truth be told, I got the car the summer of '07 after my little heart got broken. And life was anything BUT.
And the plate was cheaper than therapy.
And so I tested out the theory that if you tell yourself something long enough, you'll eventually start to believe it.

And it worked.

And once you really believe something...
REALLY believe it...
It IS.

Now, I do not mean to say that everything in my life is perfect.
Are there things I would change?
Sure.
Are there things I wish were different?
Yep.
Do I have room for improvement?
Uh-huh.
But will life get even better?
Absolutely.

After my traffic light "encounter", I went over to KSL to tape a radio program (it will air Sunday) and when asked what my resolutions were for 2009, I said something akin to:
"I don't have any.* I'm not going to have any. I'm just excited for 2009. I feel like I'm getting ready to meet a new friend. And I want to just enjoy it."

Life's good.
It is.
Thank YOU for appreciating it, Mr. You.
And for reminding me to appreciate it too.

(*okay, so I might have a couple of "objectives"...but...)

The song that never ends...

I kind of felt like Grad School wouldn't either. But it did. It ended...(well, no news so far about revisions, so I'm taking that as a good sign...)

And, so, in honor of that, I share this:
(WARNING: I am REALLY loud on here...which is so uncharacteristic of me...but check out the kids...and Peter, back left, who is completely uninterested at first and then enjoys the silly-ness that IS "aunt laurel". I'll be mature one day.
Oh, and yes, when my brother and I are together, we really are this obnoxious--love you, David!).

Special thanks to Erin Fast who taught me this song back in college. I now pass it along to others for the good of all humanity.

(PS I FINALLY figured out how to upload videos on this here blogger thing, so you are in for some real entertainment now...)

Just because? On a Tuesday?

Me thinks this is how crushes get started.

What I've learned in the last 72+ hours

- if you were basically couped up last weekend icing your back because you did something dumb, don't shovel snow the next weekend.

- Brian Stokes Mitchell is the most unbelievable singer I think I've ever encountered and I love him. I really really love him.

- When it's upsetting that one of your favorite 39 year old great male friends betroths himself to a 25 year old, going out with someone in the middle of their ages (a 32 year old) totally makes you feel better.

- If you talk long enough and are funny enough and the police officer is cool enough like Officer Millett, you can totally talk your way out of a speeding ticket (rather humorous video coming soon).

- DeAnn Hansen is the best "make up a story" commenter there is. John Hilton III made an admirable attempt and came in 2nd place (but thinking Stokes was on "The Fresh Prince of BelAir" earned the biggest laugh...). Prizes TBA

- Three dates are not necessarily better than two dates in the same weekend. But it feels good knowing you could have had three dates.

- Ed Hermann is an amazing storyteller and I love "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" more now than ever before.

- I like men and I want to meet more of them.

- There is something intrinsically (did I spell that right?) good...and safe...about ice cream...there is so much more I could say about that but it would require me to divulge information you probably don't want to know.

- It feels good to get asked out on date #2 in the middle of date #1.

- You have ten days in the state of Utah to change your address on your drivers license. It costs $40 if you don't do it.

- I had a dream about a runny nose. I'm totally intrigued by that.

- I have great hair...I do.

- My street looks so picturesque after a snow storm...and it makes me feel calm.

And the best thing I've learned in the last 72 hours?
I have amazingly supportive family and friends
AND
With the help of the Lord, I really can do all things.

I finished my thesis.
I might have to make some revisions before December 18th,
but technically I am done.
It's been a significant three years...

And it feels SOOOOOOOOOO good to have them behind me.

Good things are ahead...
just around that corner I see before me.

All in just a couple of hours

I took a little break from my writing today
and THIS is what happened....





The commenter who most closely guesses what REALLY happened...or most creatively suggests what MIGHT have happened, will win the prize to beat all prizes.

Only me, people...
Only me.

Best. Mom. Ever?

Now, let's be clear.
If this was a post about MY mother, there would be no "?".
If this were a post about any of the moms I know, there would be an "s".

But this post isn't about any of those women.
Nope.
This post is about me.

(yes, I know I should technically be working on my tantilizing thesis, but it's the Sabbath and I just got a copy of my Church membership record and it says, "All Children of Christensen, Laurel Ann: No Children". And I thought, Ouch. Couldn't they have put "Haven't come yet." or "Still waiting." or "Soon to be the luckiest children ever."? And so, really, I had no choice but to blog.)

When all of my family was out here for Grandpa's funeral, my brother David and his family stayed for a couple extra days and I got to enjoy having them in my home on the Sabbath. And I decided to take advantage of the opportunity by proving my amazing mom skills.

And so....
We made Halloween sugar cookies.
The biggest cookies ever.
I colored the frosting for them.(you need to know that this is David's oldest, Mark, or you won't fully appreciate the rest of the story.)
They ate as much as they wanted as no other adults were allowed to participate (well, except Karen came in to take come pictures) or opinionate (did I just make that word up?)
The kids loved it.And of course they did.
I was the best. mom. ever.

Okay, so MAYBE they were all so sick that they couldn't eat the carameled apples I also made.
And MAYBE Mark threw up so much on the way back to Virginia the next day (on the way to the airport, at the airport, on the planes) that the kid even had dry heaves for several hours (you can see it starting in his eyes, can't you?).

Best.
Aunt Laurel.
Ever?
(my apologies again to David & Karen...but seriously...what a memory, eh?)

Really, Mr. Fortune Cookie? REALLY?

Right after I got hired at my current place of employment, I went to lunch with some of my new co-workers. I think it was my second day of work...you know...first week...when you're still looking for validation and needing just a kick of self-confidence.

We went for chinese.
And got the typical complimentary fortune cookie.
I opened mine.
All these year and I've never forgotten it.
Well, you don't forget "fortunes" like this.
It said (and I quote):

You struggle for self-improvement and it shows.

I'm not kidding.
Now, I'm sure the original CHINESE translation said:
Laurel, we can really tell you work hard to always better yourself and we, the people of China, congratulate you.

But, in English all I read was "yeah, you're a girl who really struggles."

And, well, I've had a "love/hate" relationship with those concoctions of sugar & flour ever since.

I've gotten some good fortunes.
Like once on a date, I opened one to say:
Stop looking for happiness. It's sitting right next to you.

But, well...let's just say that for the most part, I've seen mostly UN-fortunes in my cookies.

I am working on my thesis...
really more of a "capstone research project".
And spending every waking hour either with work or school.
So, it's been hard to feel like I have a life.

But, I have a date next week...and actually two if I can fit the other in.
Now, that should not be news.
But these aren't "set ups".
These are legit.

So, when I stopped at Pei Wei (gotta love the cheap version of PF Changs. I highly recommend going for the Ginger Broccoli w/ Beef (ask them to cook it crispy), brown rice) for some thesis-writing sustenance and opened my fortune cookie, and it said (and I quote):

A tantalizing new prospect will come your way.

YOWZERS!
Well, it was like the fortune cookie and I came together again.
We let bygones be bygones.
I mean, the cookie said "tantalizing" for crying out loud!
That's good, right?
Do you know the definition?
Let's take a vote right now.
All who think "tantalizing" is generally a good thing, say "aye".

The definition reads (and I quote):
Tan-ta-lize [tan-tl-ahyz]
–verb (used with object), -lized, -liz⋅ing.
to torment with, or as if with, the sight of something desired but out of reach; tease by arousing expectations that are repeatedly disappointed.

Yeah, just go ahead and read that again.

Really, Mr. Fortune Cookie?
Really?
You didn't learn your lesson with the "you really struggle" cookie back in the day?

And that, my friends, is why we will be finding time for ONLY ONE date next week.
Just one.
Lest we get "tantalized" twice.
(is it just me or is my life funny?)

And now, back to the thesis...
and the "tantalizing" masters degree.

(Life is good...I'll just be glad when Dec. 15th has come and gone with a turned in paper and maybe a great date or two as well...PS. the book IS finished. Thanks for the "you can do it"s. You people are WAY better than fortune cookies!)