I got tagged! I got tagged!

I finally got tagged...by my cool cousin Jamie. Made me feel downright like one of the cool kids on the playground (even though it was always the slow awkward kids that actually got tagged...not that I know that from experience...).
A- Attached or single: I'm attached to NOT being single.
B- Best Friend: Yes I have some (how's that for not offending anyone?...grin...)
C- Cake or Pie: Brownies. Unless it's a rainbow chip cake. I'm a sucker for that. Makes me feel like I'm 5 and I loved being 5.
D- Day of Choice: Sunday. I really have learned to love the Sabbath. I know it's hokey...but there it is.
E- Essential item: my new shiny bright red peep-toe shoes. SO not essential but I love them. (Famous Footwear. On sale right now for $19.99. Every girl should have a pair!)
F- Favorite color: I live blue...and pink...and green...and chocolate brown..and orange...and red...and...
G- Gummi bears or worms: Worms. Definitely. Though I have NO idea why.
H- Hometown: I was born in Anaheim. Lived in Pleasanton until I was 10 and htne moved to Crestwood (KY) until I was 16. Then to St. Louis. Crestwood were the formative years so I feel like the answer should be Louisville, KY.
I- Indulgence: an expensive meal at Tuscany, pedicures, the $25 a day covered parking at the airport when I'm running late (or just wearing cute shoes)
J- January or July: January. Absolutely. Love the fresh start. Love the winter clothes. Love the month leading up to my birthday.
K- Kids: yes...not yet...but yes.
M- Marriage date: October 14, 2010. It's a Thursday. Let's see if I'm right!
N- Number of siblings: 2 older sister. 1 younger brother. I love them!
O- Oranges or Apples: I just recently discovered oranges (I know you can't believe that but it's true. I never enjoyed the texture or the hassle of peeling but now I love them). But a Fuji apple with natural chunky peanut butter? OH MY! That is a treat!
P- Phobias: I am oddly claustrophobic. Not just tight spaces or dark closets (I can't breathe just typing that) but sometimes on a plane or even in a work meeting if I consciously become aware of the fact that I'm not near an open window. Did I just reveal too much about myself?
Q- Quote: "You go girl" (that made me laugh right out loud! Couldn't resist.)
R- Reason to smile: My life. And I mean that.
S- Season: Fall. Fall. Fall. Did I mention I love Fall? (thus the answer for "M")
T- Tag Six: I'm tagging people who might be most irritated by being tagged: Erin (both of you), Karen (or David), Holly, Bart (I'll give you a dollar if you do it), Uzi
U- Unknown fact about me: Well, blogging has kind of made me an open book...but, um...okay, I was a bed wetter. I was. And I participated in some sort of experimental surgery when I was like 7 or 8 and it was supposed to help. And it didn't. That's all I'm going to say about that...
V- Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animal: The detox got me to try being a true vegan and I didn't so much enjoy it. I love my salmon. I need my mild fish. I don't so much enjoy red meat.
W- Worst habit: impatience (is that a habit?). I am a procrastinator. I am. I do my best work under pressure. It's horrible that I figured that out. Maybe that has something to do with "M" too?
X- X-Rays or ultrasounds: I don't even know what this is referring to. Am I seriously being asked which is my favorite? REALLY? I've had both and I don't enjoy either. Are we talking about technicians? Well, the X-ray techs are always cute and tall and the ultrasound people are either women or old men. So, I guess I choose X-Ray.
Y- Your favorite food: (lame "y", by the way. Shouldn't I be being asked for my favorite yo-yo trick or something?) Mexican or salmon. Combine the two in a soft flour tortilla and WOWZERS! You have the perfect meal
Z- Zodiac: Aquarius

That was almost fun. But now I'll have to save my "I heart EW" post for another time...

Thanks, Jane

I'm a sucker for Jane Austen. That's no secret.

And there are few things that bring me more joy than watching a Jane Austen flick, Emma being one of my absolute favorites.

But one of the things that does bring me even more joy is introducing a movie like Emma to a great group of 15 year old teenage girls. That's what I did last night at my house. We had British cookies (okay, they were Pepperidge Farm, but does that matter?) and had to speak with British accents (and the girls almost got the hang of it by the end). If we had all been wearing empire-waist dresses, it would have been perfect.

It was SO VERY FUN to get giddy with glee and loud sighs and the fun "i heart him" giggle, right along with them, at the classic line...

Now I need not call you Mr. Knightly. I may call you MY Mr. Knightly.

It makes you giddy just reading that line, doesn't it?

If you have not seen the 1996 version with Gwyneth Paltrow, stop whatever you are doing and watch it right now. I'm serious. Do not waste another day. And better yet...don't watch it alone. Introduce the movie to a great teenage girl.

Because here's the deal. Sometimes after we get our heart a little broken (hypothetically speaking, of course) by a really great guy who even quotes a line from another great classic The Scarlet Pimpernel (I know...I know...but he really did!), it's kind of tempting to think that the world of Jane Austen just sets hopelessly romantic girls (like me) up for disappointment (assuming I was disappointed, of course).

But all that goes away when you see Jane Austen through the eyes of "Austen virgin" teenage girls. And you remember all that you hoped for and wanted when you were like them...before you had your heart broken.

Why? Because the beauty of Jane Austen is that it's real. It is. I know it is because that giddy feeling you get when Emma says, "If I have not spoken, it is because I am afraid I will awaken myself from this dream"...you know, right after Mr. Knightly professes his undying love? I've felt that before...in real life (okay and maybe I actually used that line once). It's the stuff movies are made of, yes, but it's also real. It might not last in that "giddy stage" forever and "real life" might turn the giddy-ness into just plain old real strong practical love...

But, it's out there. I know it it.
All of you in good marriages get to experience it even now...if you want to.

And Mr. Knightly?

Well, he might have traded in that classic taupe and off-white suite & hat (with the walking stick) for jeans and a t-shirt. And instead of just having money and having all the time in the world to order carriages for people, he might actually have to work for a living. He probably chooses to go to Church meetings instead of meaningless social gatherings where they play the piano forte. But that's actually better....because I bet he also thinks Princess #4 is pretty cool.

Those girls left my house believing, like I did once, that Mr. Knightly is an option.
And you know what? I refuse to stop believing that he is.
I owe it to those girls to keep believing.
I owe it myself.

Thanks, Jane. I owe YOU too.
And I'll do my best to keep introducing you to the next generation of future Mrs. Knightlys.

I heart you, Jimmy B

When I was in 7th grade, I had a crush on a boy we'll call "Jimmy B".
He was so cute...and turned out to be the nicest boy in the middle school.
At least to me.

Jimmy B and I had gym class together. Mandatory gym class. And since "C" comes after "B", I sat behind him on the gym floor for roll call and warm-ups.

I also had gym class with a boy named Tony. He was one of those kids teased by all the other boys (and a few mean girls). As with most kids who are teased, he had to turn his revenge to someone else that was "safe" for him to be mean to.

I guess I was safe.
And Tony chose me and chose gym class to turn the revenge on.

Tony created this mean, albeit somewhat nonsensical, name for me. He would say it sometimes loudly, sometimes under his breath. He seemed to relish waiting for me to walk out of the girls locker room (where I had just changed into the delightful "school issue" gym clothes) and follow me to where I sat for roll call, behind Jimmy B--all the while saying this name.

It was the kind of thing that stung.
You know what I mean?

But, the worst part about this wasn't actually hearing the name. It was knowing that JIMMY B was hearing the name too. It hurt my little 7th grade bad-perm-brace-mouthed-leg-warmers-that-didn't-match-my-outfits heart.

This seemed to go on every day...all year.

Until one day.

I'll never forget the one day when I sat down behind Jimmy B. Tony had waited to spread his meanness until I was seated on the cold hard gym floor. And then he walked up and said it...loud enough for Jimmy B (and probably a few others) to hear. And just as Tony started to laugh, it happened.

Jimmy B stood up.
Jimmy B grabbed Tony by the collar.
Jimmy B pushed Tony up against the wall.
And then Jimmy B, in his protective-knight-in-shining-armor-albeit-7th-grade-not-quite-changed-yet voice, said:
"DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT TO HER AGAIN!"

And Tony never ever did.

I've had reason to think about Jimmy B lately. I'm pretty grateful for him.

And who knew, all these years later, some 7th grade protective-knight-in-shining-armor-albeit-not-quite-changed-yet-voice boy could still have such a lasting impression on this once 7th grade bad-perm-brace-mouthed-leg-warmers-that-didn't-match-my-outfits girl?

I heart you, Jimmy B...
wherever you are...

Ode to an almost 15 yr old girl named Kenzie

K is for k-k-k-cool girl
E is for energetic (do you ever slow down?)
N is for nicer than nice (are you ever NOT nice?)
Z is for zero amounts of anything but really really good
I is for incredibly talented & intelligent
E is for everything that makes you the girl you are.

I'm lucky to know YOU.
There. You got your post!
(oh, and I love you too, chiquita!)

I think I found my extra hour or two!

Can anyone else do the following all at the same time:
-Train 20 women on a work conference call (even answering questions!)
whilst
-flipping back and forth between American Idol and Biggest Loser
whilst
-catching up on a few emails
whilst
-starting a blog post

Can anyone else do that? What does that say about me? Looks like maybe I can find that extra hour or two yet!

So, what can YOU do all at the same time?

Important life questions amidst my drowning...

1.) Am I the only Republican that shops at Wild Oats Food Market?

2.) How do you get an extra hour (or two) in an already too-full day?

3.) Is it true that pointy-toed shoes really elongate the leg?

4.) Can a mom really be a good mom when her 13 year old daughter says, "Who's Jane Austen?"

5.) Do you think co-starring in the soon-to-be-released Disney flick College Road Trip is one of Donny Osmond's more proud moments?

Sure, none of it is very important (except for question #4, Michelle, that one's for you!...but, really, when did Kenzie turn 14??), but I wanted to let you know I'm alive (how sweet of so many of you to ask! Nice to know if I went missing, it would be noticed)...just drowning a tich. ALL GOOD...just needing another hour or so in the day...so if anyone knows how to get one...

Your responses to the questions above are welcome.
These are the things I waste my time thinking about when I'm drowning...

Happy Valentine's Day to my first kiss

His name was William.

It was a Spring romance. I was completely unaware of his interest in me. I've always been really good in the "friend" role and so it's a big leap of faith for me to assume it's anything more and I typically don't assume unless the boy actually says, "Um, I think I'm falling for you" (I love those words). Even then, I look behind me to make sure there's not some other girl standing there.

So, William (or "Willie" as his friends called him) tried to clearly let me know. Looking back, I can totally see so many of the signs. He spent more time with me than other boys did. He smiled whenever we were together. He would sit by me...and sit closely. He wanted to be together all the time. He thought I was funny (I love it when boys think I'm funny!)

But, I was completely clueless about the situation.

Until, one day, quite suddenly, Willie kissed me.
In front of everyone.
There was no hesitation. He just laid it on me.
And that's when I knew...
EVERYONE KNEW...just how Willie felt about me.

I remember hearing the bells ring...but these were not the bells of love.
These were the bells at Donlon Elementary.
We all ran back to Mrs. Murphey's kindergarten class for storytime.

But this storytime was different.
Everyone was watching me and Willie leaned in and whispered, "I like you" (the 6-yr-old version of "Um, I think I'm falling for you."). He liked me. A lot. I remember wanting to say it back. But I just couldn't.

Willie and I were so different.
I mean, he had COOTIES for one thing.
It would never work.

I think a few kids did the whole "Willie & Laurel, sitting in a tree" chant later on. I was so embarrassed. And I just couldn't ever tell Willie "I like you too". And really, we barely knew each other. Can you really get to know someone during storytime or while running around at recess? Or while melting crayon shavings in between wax paper to make bookmarks for Mother's Day? Or sitting together while that weird boy Scotty sings "I'll Be Your Candle in the Water", from Pete's Dragon, for the umpteenth time during Show & Tell? (Poor, poor Scotty. Where must he be now?)

I went home and had to tell my parents because I couldn't bear the thought of going back to school the next day. I had cooties. Everyone knew that now, and even worse, they knew who GAVE me cooties. Life as I knew it would never be the same again.

My dad went to school with me the next day. We were a little late and storytime had already begun. I stood in the back of the class while Mrs. Murphy and my dad stepped to the door. I don't know what Dad said, but after they talked, Dad hugged me and said everything would be okay. I went and joined the rest of the kids in the circle.

Mrs. Murphy then called Willie out of the circle. I don't know what Mrs. Murphy said but Willie came over, sat by me and said, "I'm sorry I kissed you, Laurel. I won't ever do that again."

And he never did.

I'm not a girl who has ever really been the "kiss and tell" type. I've never been much of a casual girl when it comes to a kiss (much to the dismay of my Dad who told me I totally blew it that night Perry Mills tried to kiss me in college...yeah, I'm more of a "don't kiss but do tell" type of girl, or in other words, I'm an idiot). And so, the boys I've kissed (and hey, to be honest, I've barely earned that plural noun) have meant something to me. Maybe it's because I want to think I meant something to them too.

I know I meant something to Willie.
Happy Valentine's Day, first kiss.
I liked you too.

And what about Princess #4?

I was asked to narrate a skit for a New Beginnings program tonight in my ward. The theme was "becoming the girl of your dreams." The point of the skit was simple but was tragically based on a fallacy we continue to perpetuate in the Mormon culture.

The fallacy is this:
Three girls (in this case "princesses") are given some books (personal progress & the scriptures) to help them become the girl of their dreams, or more specifically somebody's queen.
Princess #1 takes the books and decides they aren't important and hides them under her bed.
Princess #2 takes the books, kind of looks at them but doesn't really read them and goes about her merry way.
Princess #3 reads both books and follows the counsel contained therein perfectly.

One day a prince (who has just returned from his 2 year "quest") goes to visit each princess, determined to find his queen (he even goes so far as to actually ask each princess what she has done to prepare to be a queen).

You can already see where this is going, right?
I don't even need to finish the story, do I?

I was willing to be the narrator (I didn't do the "storytelling" category on my high school speech team for nothing!). I got a bit of a kick out of myself and enjoyed playing puppet master changing up the script a few times (thus compelling the youth to ad lib or ad act...it was quite funny).

It was cute but I don't think it was entirely harmless.

I was also asked if I would read something after the skit...the conclusion of the author (who was not in my ward...apparently this is a skit by a well-meaning person on the web somewhere...and I have NO doubt her heart is in the right place and she means well)...that further perpetuated the notion that if the girls will focus on what they need to be doing right now to prepare to be wives and mothers, that one day soon a prince will come. If they are not ready, he will notice their lack of preparation. He will pass them by and go on to the next princess.

Wow.
Really?
That's really the only reason for reading scriptures and doing value projects and goals to improve myself?
Oh, and I only have the years of 12-18 to prepare?

I'm not one to fault anyone who wants to teach truths in basic and simple and memorable ways.
Just one problem.
This isn't really truth.
And these smart girls today deserve better.

And so, after I concluded the story (that really was fairly entertaining), I folded up the pre-prepared concluding thought on the piece of paper.
And, without any hesitation, I said this:
"You girls are so good. You are incredible. And you are already on the way to becoming amazing women. I have no doubt the Lord is preparing all sorts of good things for you...including a prince...who better be good enough for you when the time comes. But I hope that you are doing all of this for more than the prize of a prince. I hope you are doing this to become the daughter of God you are meant to be.
I can tell you, from personal experience, that as you participate in the Personal Progress program and study the word of the Lord in the scriptures, the Lord will help you use those things in many ways...before and after your prince comes. Becoming the girl of your dreams is an exciting venture. But, becoming the woman God wants you to be...knows you can be...is trying to help you to be...well, that is even better."

I know plenty of girls like Princess #1 and #2 who do end up marrying the prince. I know plenty of girls like Princess #3 who get the prince too but there are plenty of others who end up marrying what turns out to be a frog.

And what about Princess #4...a girl who does what she can to become the women she needs to be. She's not perfect either but she tries to use all the knowledge and skills she gains along the way to bless lives and make a difference. And she waits, not idly, but patiently, for the prince to come along and JOIN HER in her journey. Because he's been preparing too...in his own way...to be ready for her. They both know that they weren't each other's reason for doing what they did...GOD was their reason...but they happily accept each other as ONE OF the great blessings that come because of their efforts.

I really like Princess #4. (I bet she likes Valentine's Day even when she's single.)
She should have been in the story too.

I could SO get used to this "day off" thing

Loving my day off. Still in Phoenix...just for a few more hours.
Do you people know how many mindless things I could do if I didn't have to work?

Case in point:

It's Valentine's week and oddly enough, I really love Valentine's Day (and I swear to all I hold sacred & dear that I only took this quiz ONCE. I did not rig it. This was what popped up after I answered all the question.). What can I say? Jane Austen has ruined me forever.
And so, this is my attempt to get us all in the mood. That's just the kind of girl I am (and you thought I was obnoxious about my birthday?!?)

What does YOUR candy heart say?

Galobaset

I don't know what it says about me that I was thinking about her today.
But I was.

She was the first friend I really remember.
I think we were both five.
And she was the PERFECT friend for 5-yr old Laurel.

She was from Mexico originally. She lived with her mom up on the hill behind Donlon Elementary (the school across the street from our house). I never met her mom and I don't remember anything else about the rest of her family. She didn't go to Donlon Elementary. But, I remember the first time she came to the house, her mom had sprained her ankle (interestingly enough, my mom had recently sprained HER ankle) and she needed somewhere to be. She was feeling lonely (interestingly enough, I was feeling lonely too).

We played together a lot.
But, always at my house.
I never went to hers.

She would ring the doorbell. I would open the door and invite her in. And then we would go back to my room to play with my "baby-that-away" (the doll with batteries that crawled, remember? I'm pretty sure this doll created my fear of dolls. The picture says it all, doesn't it?)
or build a blanket fort or play with the Fisher-Price people. I loved it when she came. We could play together for hours...never fighting...never even really talking much. We didn't have to. We played really well together. It lasted for a year...maybe a little longer. I don't remember exactly.

But, I do remember the day when my mom told me we probably couldn't play together anymore. Mom said something about me needing to be outside more...I needed to play with other kids..."real" kids. It was time for me to say good-bye to my perfect friend...so perfect that it was like she was right out of my imagination.
Yes, right out of my imagination.

(Come on...admit it! You had an imaginary friend too, right?)

I'm SO okay: Happy Birthday to me!

So, I woke up at 6:30 this Saturday morning (I told you people I couldn't sleep in anymore!) feeling totally okay.

I was tempted to immediately log on to my blog and delete last night's post. But, Erin had already read it and posted (and covered the missing 7...thanks Ernie!) and I thought, "you know what? no point in having a blog if I can't be totally honest about my life." It gives the rest of my posts more credibility, right? (just work with me here, people...)

My born-again friends have a GREAT song: "My God Is an Awesome God". And this morning, I just have to agree. He has always given me what I need...even yesterday. I kind of see that now.

But, I'm still not going to come up with the last 7 because, frankly, I don't need to. There are PLENTY MORE than "36 Things I Love about My Life" to recount and I don't need to finish a countdown to show that (and besides, Erin's list is better than anything I could have done).

So, instead....
Just seven short "shout outs"...

1.) to my phone call yesterday: I was okay before you called and I'm okay now after you've called. I am going to be totally okay. You propelled me to a different place in my life and I'm grateful to you for that. In fact, I'm the girl I am this 36th year because of you coming into my life in my 35th. It's a weird twisted sort of fate (and one of my many life's ironies).

2.) to Erin Fast: THANK YOU for coming up with my last "7 things". The Lord has used you a hundred times to be there for me. You are one of the rare people that cries with me when I cry. I want to be the kind of friend to you that you have always been to me.

3.) to the only person who REALLY knew me when I was 17, Tam: I would have shriveled up and died last night w/o you. Thanks for helping me see the humor in the greatest ironies of my life. YOU have done more than any other human to help me feel anything BUT vulnerable, insecure, and inadequate. Thanks for letting me know I didn't miss much "back then". You're Tammy, right? (couldn't resist. Oh, and to Jim & Uzi: Thanks for laughing at my rant last night too. love you both!)

4.) GNO: my group. I FINALLY HAVE A GROUP! You ladies know me...enough said. I don't have words and no one reading this but you guys would get it anyway. We've laughed and cried and "been there" for each other. Thanks for planning a "9 year old birthday party". 9 was a VERY GOOD year for me (bad hair, notwithstanding). And anytime I'm with you, I feel as complete as a single girl can.

5.) Ty-lah: Thanks for becoming the best "big brother" in the world. No one can take the place of my real brother David....but I'm pretty darn grateful that I have someone who totally "gets" me, who would defend me at every turn and was willing to hop on a place just to set things right (and thanks too for NOT hopping on the plane). You are so good. Your wife is so good. Your kids are so good. Thanks for being my favorite married friend. I'm glad the Lord knew I still needed you.

6.) to the people who have technically known me the longest...Mom & Dad. I wouldn't want to be sharing my actual birthday with anyone else. It sounded lame at first, but do you realize it's been 18 years since I was with you on my bday? Thanks for adoring me...and knowing who I am. See you in Phoenix.

7.) and at the risk of being inappropriate or someone thinking I'm flippant, My God IS an awesome God. I am so insanely grateful that I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me. And I love Him. He is better to me than I deserve (thankfully) and knows me better than I know myself. I want to be the woman He needs me to be, expects me to be, has HELPED me to be. I want a better heart and if some of my life's situations (ironic and painful though they may be) help me get that heart, I'm totally in. Bring it on.

To anyone not specifically mentioned, you've been a part of some other part of the countdown. You are my friends & my family. AND I LOVE YOU!

I love being 36.
I love being Laurel.
I love my life.

Happy Birthday to me!
Life really IS good...
(Thursday's gerber daisies are my reminder of that...shout out #8).

A bit of a birthday funk: Day 8

So, here's the scoop. Today has been a day in the life of a girl who just can't quite step up to the birthday countdown.

I was able to laugh about it an hour ago. Unfortunately, my very humorous diatribe about my life happened in the car tonight with three of my favorite people (with 2 more on speaker phone) and it just can't be re-enacted. Too bad too because I was REALLY on one. It was classic. I outdid myself in terms of wit and funny. We laughed so hard, we cried (and the good kind of crying).

But, I don't have it in me to try to capture it in a clever post.

It started with a phone call this afternoon. I'm not about to go into the details of that, but let's just say...no, let's not say it. Suffice it to say, the call just threw me off. It just wasn't necessary. Wasn't good timing. Wasn't what I needed the day before my Happy Birthday.
So, I left work, called Tam, and had a good (though it didn't feel so good) cry the whole drive home. I know. I know. Tragic in so many ways. And pathetic in just a few others. I didn't know I had any more tears to cry about this particular "thing". But, I did. Darnit.

So, what should a girl NOT do on the eve of her birthday after she's already had a good cry? Let her plans get derailed by a funeral. A Friday night funeral. True story, folks. Though it wasn't my first choice, on the way there, I actually thought it would give me the impetus to write this great "celebration of life" post.

But, this wasn't just any funeral. It was a funeral where the guests were way too many people from my past...a time in my life where I felt vulnerable, inadequate, insecure...you name it, I felt it (can someone say "high school"? and shouldn't someone get a warning before walking into an impromtu h.s. reunion?). But, the interesting thing is that if I had been in the presence of those people a week ago...even YESTERDAY...I would have been fine. More than fine, actually. I would have felt like a milliondamdollars.

But, the phone call made me feel vulnerable, inadequate, insecure...and BAM! The two experiences just collided to create this incredibly intense disenchantment with my life. Not a depression. Not something I can't snap out of after a good nights sleep (or several in a row). It's just that I was suddenly 17 years old again. And me and "17" didn't get along so well.

And thus the funk (albeit a funk that was preceded by the humorous diatribe about my life).

And so, I'm going to let YOU finish my list.
Come on. Help a sister out! I did MORE than my fair share. You just need to come up with seven "things Laurel should love about her life". You definitely got the easier end of that deal.

I'm "leaving on a jet plane" (can you read that line without singing it?) tomorrow. I'm spending my birthday in some sun.
The timing couldn't be better.
Sun, flip-flops, a good mexican restaurant...
And some people who adore me.
Just what I need to get myself out of this newly-developed birthday funk...

Well, that, and your help with the last 7.
Consider it my birthday present. How easy is that?

More things I love about my life: Day 7

(NOTE: my thoughts on the "suspended campaign" that really only leaves me with a Democrat nominee representing the Republican Party will be coming later.)

#25...People who know me.
I love that there are people in my life who really know me. They know what makes me happy. They know what makes me tick. They know what makes my heart smile.
Now, granted, some of that knowledge could come just from checking out my blog.
One could uncover, for example, that I like brightly colored gerber daisies, especially those sent from my favorite florist (note the list of "My Favorite Things").
But, not just anyone knows that my all-time favorite movie that I've seen enough to quote is You've Got Mail. So, to the person who knows me well enough to send me the brightly colored gerber daisies from Art Floral today and who also knew that "daisies are the friendliest flower"...yeah, you gave me one of the things today that I love about my life. I heart today because of you. And I heart that you really know me. Thanks!

#26...An independent life
Now, I'll be honest. There are times I'm not totally keen on the fact that I've had to become independent. But, my independence has brought me to a level of dependence on a God who loves me. And I really wonder if I could have gained that dependence on Him any other way. For that reason alone (oh, okay, and the occassional opportunity to just pick up and go on a trip to somewhere just because I can...oh, and not having to answer to anyone when I buy another pair of shoes...and...), I love my independent life!

#27...Enough FF miles to get upgraded
The first time I experienced first class was on a flight back to BYU after my mission. My dad spent his own miles to upgrade me. It was one of those moments where you just know everyone knows you don't belong.
Case in point.
The flight attendant was coming down the aisle passing out what I thought were (and don't ask me WHERE I came up with this. Perhaps I was hungry?) taquitos wrapped in white paper...kind of like tamales are wrapped? Yeah, so anyway, I totally took one. Only to find it was a hot towel. And not just a hot towel, but a WET towel. WHAT? What is the purpose of this hot wet towel? And then, to my astonishment the arrogant business man sitting next to me took the hot wet towel and wiped his face. WHAT? What is the purpose of wiping my face with the hot wet towel? I just didn't get it.
I still kind of don't. Afterall, I work hard to make sure I look good prior to sitting in first class just in case I end up sitting next to an eligible guy. Why would I want to sit down next to said eligible guy only to say, "excuse me while I pull my hair back and wipe all the make-up off my face. THEN we can really get to know each other."
That being said, and hot wet towels not withstanding, I've become VERY fond of my upgrades to first class (that I've now earned on my own) and always feel a bit put out when I end up in coach. That's shameful to admit, I know. But, it's one little thing I love about my life.

#28...My love of fruits & nuts
Sure, the detox helped. Even before that, though, I enjoyed fruit and nuts. But, now, they are like treats to me. A really great orange or pear? YUM! the perfect raw almond or cashew? YUM-MEEE! Combine the perfect Fuji apple with natural almond butter? HELLO!
I got a fruit basket for my birthday (WHAT??? DID SOMEONE SAY IT'S MY BIRTHDAY WEEK???) today thanks to one of the other people that I love really knows me. A fruit basket with almonds. I love that I actually would rather have that over one of those sugar cookie bouquets. I know. I can't believe it either!

#29...I'm closer to the end than I am the beginning
Not of my life, but of school. I haven't really talked about it. I first didn't tell anyone because I wasn't sure I could do it while working and I didn't want people to know I was a "drop out" if I decided to quit (well, that and the week I started by Dad decided it would be fun to almost die...one of the many times he thought that was a cool idea...so there was just never really a good time to bring it up). But, I might as well admit it. I'll be done with my Master's Degree from Webster Univerity (yes, I love that it's a St. Louis University!) by the end of the year. I'm pretty pleased about that. I'm proud of myself for taking the plunge to do it. It was a big commitment. Good for me!

I'm loving this birthday countdown.
I'm loving my life.

And here I thought I was old....

So, I took a little test tonight (thanks, UZI!) because my friend took it and was told she's like 5 years younger than she really is.
So I took it.
Turns out I'm not almost 36.
I'm only 34.5.
WOW.
Saved a whole 18 months.

ARGH.
Looks like I need to up my Daughtry treadmill time.

I love my interests: Day 6

I think my interests (i.e. passions) make me interesting. And I love that about my life.

#22...I'm a political nerd
The year was 1984. It was summer time. I was 12. Most kids my age were watching "The Smurfs" on Saturday morning and playing "kick the can" in the day and catching fireflies (we really had them in Kentucky!) at night. What was Laurel doing? I was watching Oliver North testify in the Iran-Contra hearings. No joke. Truth be told, I had a little crush on Oliver North (Him and Captain Von Trapp. wowzers! That was the year I cut my hair like Maria and got a guitar...but I digress...)
I was fascinated by the whole thing and it just drop shipped me right into the world of politics. I would choose to watch the news over "Mork & Mindy". In the last 4 years, I've developed a secret addiction to C-SPAN (did anyone else see Tony Blair's last speech to the Labor Party before he left his post as Britain's Prime Minister? Gives me goosebumps just thinking about it!) and have a hard time turning the channel once it's on. I love to watch The McLaughlin Group (I think he should have me on as a guest) and my favorite Ronald Reagan (Happy Birthday, Mr. President!) quote is: "You can do a lot of good in the world if you do not care who gets the credit."
Am I a nerd?
Or does it make me fascinating?
I love my political savvy.
I think it makes me cool.

#23...Conservative to the core
I'm an American first. A Conservative second. A Republican third. It is the one area of my knowledge and opinion in which I am totally confident. Some think I'm close minded. I just know I'm right...at least when it comes to politics. And I am open minded enough to know that when it was clear Duncan Hunter didn't stand a chance, I was willing to move to the next best choice (oh, and when he dropped out, the next). I just hope I'll have an option to vote for come November.
I love a good political debate FOR SURE so I'm loving that there's something to debate right now (just tonight, I convinced the waiter that I was right and he was wrong...sure, he might have done it for a better tip...which totally worked...but still!)

#24...I'm in my element at work
Every now and then, I feel like a 12 year old girl who accidentally got invited to a meeting of grown-ups, but for the most part, I really really love my job. On occassion, it overwhelms me and makes me tired, but for the most part I feel smart when I'm at work. I feel like I'm making a difference. I feel creative. There are times when I wonder if I could ever really walk away from it even for the right reason. Happily last year, I had a reason to consider that and I found out that I would. That was kind of a comfort. But, while I know I WOULD give it all up yesterday for THE reason, it's kind of fun sometimes to know that right now, I don't have to. I love who I am at work. I love what I do. I really really do. I know that's "lucky" and I'm super grateful I have a career that brings me SUCH satisfaction (here's to finding the "the right reason" that will bring even more satisfaction!)

I suppose some might find my interests uninteresting. And maybe they wouldn't have anything to say to me.
But sometimes when it's just me, myself, and I, I can talk about my interests for hours.
(Too much information?)

I love my connections: Day 5

It's killing me not to let this post go political. I love days like today. I enjoy a close political race. I do.
But, I digress.

#18...I have really really great friends
Some of the finest. I can't name them all because a.) it would put me WAY over my "36" and b.) I would inevitably forget someone who is important to me. But, God has been VERY good to me when it comes to friends. There are those who have been around forever and those who have come in the last year. My "group" GNO (I've ALWAYS wanted a "group"), my marrieds, my singles. My older and my younger. I have been so blessed. (And I texted most of them this morning at 6:30 a.m. to remind them to vote...and they DID!)

#19...A family who left me at daycare in Aspen Grove Family Camp while they went and had fun.
In my family, we all understand that I have been blessed with an uncanny ability to remember all of our family experiences. Things like Heather being taken to the hospital in her underwear on top of a fire truck after she had a seizure. Or me being put in daycare at Aspen Grove while my sisters did crafts and my parents rock climbed. It's hard for all of them because they just don't have the ability to remember like I do, but someday, I will be honored for my incredible ability to remember the things that make our family unique. Someday...
But, bottomline, I am in the EXACT family I needed to be in. I need my family. I love my family.

#20...Opportunities I just didn't see coming
I just returned home after speaking to a really great group of young women and their parents. I've been doing a lot of these lately and everytime I'm amazed at how sick to my stomach I get right before I speak. And then, when I'm up there, I feel like I'm being given this incredible opportunity to share a message that I feel passionately about. Sometimes it's hit & miss. Some experiences are better than others. But, I appreciate the chance to be used. And I'm grateful for opportunities the past few years that have allowed me to meet & connect with some amazing girls. It brings a lot of satisfaction and joy to my life. I couldn't have imagined...but I'm grateful.

#21...I'm a blogger
I think it's funny how much I've grown to love this. I write. You read (and if I'm lucky, you COMMENT!). But, it helps me reflect and sometimes vent, sometimes laugh, sometimes think a little differently about something. I feel connected in a way I've needed to connect, not just with friends and family, but with myself. Is that too introspective? I love that I judged bloggers and now I AM one of them. That is SO classic Laurel.

Thanks for being one of my connections!

I love my "non-essential things": Day 4

#15..."You dress so cool"
Now, that's just nothing but funny. I get to work with the teenage girls at Church. You have to understand that I was always the girl who didn't quite "get it" when it came to fashion. I tried so hard to be "in" but it just wasn't in the cards. As I got older, I started trying to dress like Tam but couldn't always pull it off. One of the girls actually said to me at church, "I love that shirt" and another one piped in and said, "You are the coolest dresser." I actually laughed out loud. But, oddly enough, it totally vindicated nerdy teenage Laurel. It's COMPLETELY non-essential and worldly but I love that I finally have my own style...and that it's "cool" enough for the girls.

#16...I have a grown-up car
Yes, there is a worldly theme going on here. But, it's not just the best car ever and the best color (icy blue metallic!). It's safe and handles fairly well in the snow. And the best part? It's a grown-up car...FINALLY. I'm partial to my personalized plate too: LYFSGUD. Because it is.

#17...I'm safe in my "apartment"...and so is your name
I like finally having a house. It's a townhome (that I bought about 2 1/2 years ago) which tempts some people to call it "your little apartment", but I'm okay with that (okay, truth be told, it irritates me). But I have a small yard, without the yardwork and because I don't yet have a male roommate, my family room can be pink & chocolate brown. I love that. I have neighbors on both sides of my wall which means someone can hear me scream should my life ever turn into a "Law & Order" episode. That makes me feel safe. I have a little quote over my archway leading into my kitchen (that actually is the only thing I don't like about my house...it is kind of an "apt" kitchen) and it says: Your name is safe in our home. That's my goal. I want to be safe here for sure...but I want the people in my life to KNOW they are safe here, whether they are physically here or not.

Just a few more things, albeit fairly non-essential (yea, verily, some might even say "worldly") things, that I love about my life.

We take a short break from the birthday countdown to bring you this important announcement

It should be against the law to sell a single girl a north-facing house.

WANTED: One "legal" male roommate who will adore me and shovel the 2+ feet of snow in my driveway.

(We had a bit of a snowstorm today. I couldn't get my car out. I had to make the decision to WALK to Church. And it's not like there's a Church building every 2 blocks or something! I had to walk THREE blocks...in a blizzard...uphill...both ways...)

Here's the deal. I'm not soliciting a husband. I'm really not. Just a male roommate who will shovel my snow. But as long as he's going to be living with me, it would be better for it to be "legal" and as long as it's legal, knowing he adores me will make everything perfect.

WHAT I NEED: A currently single male, age 31-42, without a felony record (simple misdemeanors will be considered) but with a job, a testimony of Jesus Christ and a general love of life (or at least an appreciation for my love of life).

WHAT HE GETS IN RETURN: A girl who is getting cuter with time (really, someday soon I'll show the timeline pictures to prove it), no felony record (though in fairness you should know I was "1 ticket away" from getting my driver's license revoked and had to be "ticket free" for 3 years but I made it!), a testimony that is as solid as they come (albeit a simple one), very funny (at least occasionally) with an ability to laugh at most things in life (at least eventually), recently gave up her love of Barry Manilow because of his political views (even sent him an email to share my disgust), educated enough to provide assistance for your voting needs (Tam lets me tell her how to vote so I always get 2 votes each election. It's a great arrangement), well read (better read when it comes to Jane Austen, but I've read lots of other stuff too), a great cook (i'm creative and I never measure), AND as if all of this is not enough, I am totally prepared to be the best roommate ever...I'll adore him and support him.

And seriously...ALL THIS just for shoveling my snow (which is only like 3 months out of the year) and occassionally, while looking at me, saying sweetly, "how did I get so dang lucky to end up with you?"
Is that too much to ask?

If you or someone you know might qualify, leave your info here. This position will be posted until its filled.

And now, back to the birthday countdown...

I love my kids: Day 3

I was awakened by my cell phone at 7:53 a.m. I don't like to get up on Sundays until 8:00 a.m. (now that I have 11:00 a.m., yes the perfect time!, church). I rarely can stay asleep until 8:00 a.m., but I like to try.

Happily, however the REASON I was awakened at 7:53 a.m. are more reasons I love my life.

#11...Being aunt Laurel
I wouldn't say I'm the best aunt in the history of ever or anything, but my nieces & nephews really really like me. And for good reason. I'm pretty fun. I'm not perfect. I have yet to send Anya anything for her birthday (but at least I'm an equal opportunity forgetter...sorry David!...sorry Harvey!) but when push comes to shove, I'll choose to play with them and forego the "adult talk" in the family room when I'm home. It pains me sometimes but I'll do it. And why? Because these are MY kids. In a hundred different ways they are mine and I adore them all....Isaac & Hannah (Heather's), Kyle (Holly's), and Mark, Anya, James, Peter and now little Luke, not pictured (all David's).

#12..."My kids" like to tell me stories
The reason for the early morning call? Mark (David's oldest & the kid in the pic with the band-aid on his head) wanted to read me a story from a book they got at the library. ME! He wanted to read ME the story. It's called Wait! I Want to Tell You a Story and I HIGHLY recommend it to all of you parents. Classic. I giggled with every page. And when the funny little story was over I said, "That just might be as good as...."

#13...The Wide Mouth Frog
My aunt Loa used to tell us a story about "The Wide Mouth Frog". It's a silly story that is one of those that HAS to be told, not read, because whenever you say the lines of "The Wide Mouth Frog", you say them with the biggest mouth you can possibly muster (and apparently, I'm very good at the story). It started with Isaac & Hannah and has now become a story they all know. So, as soon as I compared Mark's story to TWMF, James piped in, "Tell it! Tell it!".
And so I did.
Over the phone.
And they giggled as much without actually seeing me tell it as they do when they see me.
I love that I have that silly little story with all "my kids".
While I was telling the story, Anya was crying rather loudly in the background. Which leads me to....

#14..."I wanted to read to Aunt Laurel"
The great library book was actually Anya's (and Mark was quick to add that Anya always picks the best books) and she was sad that she didn't get to read it to me. So we "rewound time" (literally...I made a rewind sound) and I pretended to just be answering the phone...and Anya told the story again (er, I mean, for the first time). It was even funnier when I knew where she was going. I love that I got to hear it twice. And I love that Isaac & Hannah like to stay up late with me and play cards. And that Kyle (who is one of the most care-free kids I know) laughs at everything I say, sometimes even when I'm not trying to be funny. I love that Peter has already figured out the joys of "Horsey rides" on Aunt Laurel's lap. And I treasure the few hours I got to spend with Little Luke (David stealing my one boy's name, not excluded) in December while Karen was at her sister's sealing.
In short, I love my connection to these kids!

So, you see why I love my life right now? Though it's not everything I've wanted, somehow the Lord is managing to give me everything I really really need.

God is good, eh?

Why I love my life: Day 2

#5...Living during the leadership of President Gordon B. Hinckley

I had the privilege of attending President Hinckley's funeral today. My heart is overflowing with gratitude. I got to be on earth at the same time as this truly remarkable man. I will be better for hearing his words of instruction AND testimony of Jesus Christ. He will be missed at every turn. But, I am grateful that I got to be here during his ministry.


#6...My faith
I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My faith is everything to me. I love being a Christian and I love what my beliefs bring to my daily experience. I sat next to an Episcopal Minister today at the funeral. Great woman and we had a wonderful conversation about faith. I'm who I am because of mine. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I couldn't have it any other way.

#7...My relationship with my Grandpa
Some of you will remember my "full page day". Sometimes I think my grandpa likes me more than I deserve to be liked. A few years ago, I took the opportunity to ask him to dance at my cousins wedding, just in case he wouldn't be around for mine. Grandpa has been "the man in my life" many times. I've relied on him, cried with him, laughed with him, gone on dates with him. I cherish my relationship with him and the blessing of sometimes having him all to myself.

#8...Amazing mentors
I won't list them, but I intend to let them know before my birthday. There are a few woman in particular, outside of my family, who I have learned from the most. Everything from business to church to better understanding the life I was meant to live. I love that my life has been blessed by the association of good and strong and incredible women. It's so good to be a girl!

#9...Multiple passings along life's journey
Maybe it was the funeral today that did it to me. But, I couldn't help but reflect this afternoon on the handful of people who have crossed my life's path more than once. You know who you are. It's no accident. The Lord has known when I've needed you and why...and He has kindly had you there every time. Thanks for being willing to cross my path again (and sometimes again).

#10...An imagined life
I got my first official present today. A dear friend gave me a silver ring that is inscribed: "Life the life you have imagined". Isn't that great? And since I have a pretty great imagination (post about imaginary friend Galoboset...true story...coming later!), I'm all for it. The card said, "The best is yet to come", interestingly enough, a quote that was said a few times today at the funeral.
I believe it.

I'd do a few more but I have to get ready for my date...
with my grandpa.

I so love my life.

My birthday countdown: Day 1

Yes. It's true.
I am one of those truly obnoxious people about birthdays.
More specifically, MY birthday.

I don't know when it started but at some point I realized you could get a lot more bang for your buck if you spread the birthday out. So I like it to last like 2 weeks. It's just more fun that way. I mean, I don't really like all the attention (no, of course not), but I'm willing to sacrifice what is comfortable to me for the joy of others. That is just the kind of girl I am.

So, I've decided to do a birthday countdown just to further intensify the obnoxiousness.

I'll be 36 (wow. that was liberating) in just a tich over a week...36. I'm not sure how I feel about that, frankly, but I DO know that I have been ridiculously blessed in a hundred different ways and I have a pretty great life.

Though not in any way, shape or form the life I thought I would have.

And so, in honor of that pretty great life that is getting ready to begin yet another year and that is not at all the one I thought I'd have, I thought I would share...
36 Things I Love about My Life
(not in any particular order)

#1...Unplanned moments of selfishness
I love that sometimes, on nights like tonight, after a really long and hard week, it's okay to bail out of certain commitments just to have some "me" time. I love that right now, in this moment, no one needs me. Ironically enough, there are times when that is a not-so-great and even suffocating thought. But right now, it's one of the things I love about my life.

#2...Plan A
Many years ago (in a land far away), my friend Tam and I wrote out what "Plan A" was and since that didn't happen, "Plan B" and then...you get the idea. It was after our missions (which on it's own got us to like "Plan E") and we figured out we were actually on "Plan K", since "A" through "J" hadn't quite worked out as "planned".
Well, I can pretty much attest to the fact that I'm fairly certain I've gone through most of the letters in the alphabet by now.
But, I've been wrong.
I'm not on "Plan K" or "Plan Q" or "Plan W".
I'm on "Plan A". I just had no idea that this life I'm living was "Plan A". It was HIS plan all along. And right now, it's one of the things I love about my life.

#3...Unanswered Prayers
This goes hand in hand with "Plan A" really. But, I've been thinking lately about all the many requests I've taken to the Lord throughout my life. Requests that I thought were really really important. Things I just KNEW I needed. As it turns out, the Lord knew (and gratefully still knows)what is best for me.
I guess they weren't unanswered after all. And right now, it's one of the things I love about my life.

#4...Flowers
I love love love that I am finally at a place in my life where I can and do and feel okay about buying flowers for myself. I don't do it all the time, but every now and then, I just do it...for no reason at all. I think flowers were just one of those things that as the creation of the world was wrapping up, God said, "I just don't think I made quite enough of those. I should do that again." And then he created more varieties in spades. That's what I think.
Though I'm partial to gerber daisies, flowers for no reason at all are just one more thing I love about my life.

4 down. 32 to go.